To my nine year old self
the poem is a dramatic monologue
it is written in free verse, suggesting one can move into the past in a state of self acceptance
‘you must forgive me’ understands that younger self would have perceived this as unwanted adult presence; enjambment in this line to increase intensity.
‘run than walk’ enthusiastic to engage with physical world without consequence
‘balancing hands on the tightrope’ fearless, playful
tonal shift in second stanza - ‘I have spoiled this body we once shared,’ implies physical destruction
in the second stanza, there is disdain for current self, presents a weakened image of the poet
In the third stanza, she describes her dreams ‘as white as the paper to write it on,’ truncated structure, nostalgic
in the fourth stanza, she stops using the pronoun ‘we’ and instead uses ‘I’d’ - she s disassociating from her innocent self
She does not seem resentful, as she says ‘I will not keep you then’ there seems to be a state of acceptance
‘I shan’t cloud your morning’ contrasts the ‘white paper’
‘I leave you’ - does not want to corrupt childhood with the world - weary adult perspective
stanza length mirrored - 5,6,7,6,5 - not the same person anymore, despite trying
somehow done her younger self wrong this line for Wars us that there's some sort of betrayal emotional betrayal and it's not going to be a happy cheerful poem exactly the emotional layer is further accentuated by the use of frequent commas and jams forgive me don't look so surpised perplexed eager to be gone the imperative of must you must forgive me it also makes the sentence a bit more Force forceful it makes us a lot more apprehensive the apprehension turns out to be justified because of to the next
stanza I have spoiled this body we once shared look at the scars and watch the way I move careful of a bad back or a bruised foot do you remember how 3 minutes after waking we jump straight out of the ground floor window into the summer morning in contrast with the first stanza that showed us the NeverEnding energy and health of her younger self the older self has scars because she has been hurt before she's now cautious even careful of a bad back or a bruised foot the semantics of injury show us that time herself has
bruised her it makes us wistful of our Childhood Health and our childhood body when you can jump out of the ground floor window with no consequences this could also be a metaphor for the whole of life in general as children were out there jumping out of Windows climbing up trees never really cautious of getting hurt because we know that we can get up and brush off our mistakes in adulthood everyone expect you to have it all together to be this most educated person the most sens one the most responsible
one to never get into situations you might regret as children we're out there pursuing opportunities we don't ever let somebody else's thoughts Define us somebody's warning to stop us from trying the things that we value we're the ones here to Define our own boundaries but by contrast weirdly enough as adults we should be out there defining our boundaries but we're actually more in control of society's pressure we let society's perception of us dictate our entire existence we begin to live in accordance of what people
think we should act like and do you remember for the speaker's adult self is just a distant memory like do you remember what it was like when you could do all these things but for the child it's the present of course she doesn't remember she has not yet learned that life is temporary to be careful or to Value her present moments I mean once she woke up she would jump out of the window she would be too impatient for stairs too impatient to take the time to do something slowly she's out there rushing and grabbing the world she would
defy convention Pursuit was most exciting summer morning I mean it's a pathetic fallacy because morning is just the beginning just like every day brings a New Journey a new adventure this reflects the idea of the youth as a bang blank slate for the artist to paint whatever they want this metaphor is then continued in the next Stan that dream we had no doubt it's as fresh in your mind as the white paper to write it on we made a start but something else came up a baby r or a bag of sherberry lemons
and besides that summer of ambition created a nice Lolly Factory a wasp trap and a den by a cesped we don't know what this dream is but perhaps it has something to do with being a writer perhaps dunor even as a child has always wanted to write her own stories to always write her own books she would lay out the piece of paper right her desk and be like okay when morning comes when creativity comes I will sit down and I will write but something always comes up for children something always comes up
up which is why we don't realize our childhood dreams but at the same time she's always sure that it will come up some she's not worried when something else came up because she used it as a certainty rather than a hope or a wish I mean she has that childhood confidence where you believe that even if you don't do something it will magically happen because things always work out the white paper on which she wants to write is a blank slate just like she currently is but it's dramatic irony because of
course this white page is far from being empty it's very meaningful it's full of meaning for the poet and for the younger self even when she doesn't realize it something else is all the distractions of daily life the fascination with nature the baby BS the bag of sherbet lemons I mean it's that sweet taste of sugar of childhood that you can never really go back to and it can never really taste the same because back then it was the promise that life is good and everything will be all right this is a
summer of ambition the young dunore makes plenty of plans to trap wasps to make a den to run her own ice Lolli Factor the tone of the Stan is very nostalgic as we realize that these dreams never really realized and if you're watching now just reflect on how many of your dreams you ended up chasing it's it's inevitable that it's not everything but how much did you give up just because you grew up we know dunmer will be a poet she will chase that dream something her younger self never realized but but all these other dreams
have been left discarded but here we see a change of tone of Ulta as we realize that the childhood was not as idic as it seems I'd like to say we could be friends but the truth is we have nothing in common Beyond a few shared years I won't keep you then time to pick rose hips for tens a pound time to hide down scared lanes for men and cars after gr children we see a growing divide between the speaker and her younger self the poet realizes that she could never be fully friends with her younger self
because they have grown too far apart this is also the moment that the poem begins to diminish in lengths as we shift away from the past and to the present by comparing it by seeing the similarities and by seeing the differences the speaker is saddened but this time she realizes that there is no point in chasing after the Disappeared disappeared past it's no use to really explain to her younger self what she's missing if she doesn't live and enjoy it she lets her younger self go and she remembers the dangerous moments of her
childhood that she never realized how she picked roses and sell them but how there be men chasing her down Lanes I mean for many of us I'm sure there's at least one moment in our childhood where we did something incredibly stupid and Incredibly dangerous without realizing it scared Lanes the lanes are personified they're portrayed as the ones being scared in a childlike attempt to Bluster and say I'm not scared of men in cars chasing me back when roses were sold for tens back on prices were still
good it's she's pretending to be courageous because her desire to go out as a child is more than her fear of the world or to Lunge out over the water on the rope that swings from that tree long buried in housing but no I Shan Cloud your morning God knows I have fears enough for us both she remembers how she used to swing over the water never looking down into the water down under letting the fear bolster her rather than stop her from climbing that rope she never considered the height or the danger but even if she was suddenly
brave enough to do it now she couldn't because that Tre is no longer there cut down in favor of housing because even if she is not ready to move on the world always is the world is always rushing and changing and going fast ahead and it's out there to pull us back when we think that we can go back to not Cloud your morning for the younger self this would just be a temporary warning from a strange old lady listen once forget the next day while for the older self of course it's a warning that stems from
years of experience the older self also Al realizes that she has fears enough for El spose she lets her nerves fully consume her there is now not only a sense of physical division but mental division too the cloud is also a representation of D more self she realizes that she's a cloud clouding her young younger self experience so she's out there tampering her childhood and she realizes that well it's a childhood it's an experience you only live once and you can never really listen to all the advice because you're still going to
make your own mistakes and still going to to be your own person and at that moment she decides to take her own leave I leave you in an ecstasy of concentration slowly peeling a ripe scab from your knee to taste it on your tongue the speaker finally leaves the topic and leaves her younger self ending the poem meanwhile the younger self is left happily to pick a scab no and eat it knowing that it's something her parents told her not to do the scab is described as ripe as ideal for picking because her child herself has patiently
waited for this moment now she's happily bathing in the result of her labor she's tasting it just like her older self tasted and savored the childhood but notice that already she has this scab a bruise already those Carefree moments of easy childhood are fading away and she's becoming older and aging her limbs are being pushed physically and mentally these are the last few Carefree moments and by leaving denor ensures that she doesn't bring any more of the Adult World concerns into her younger self's
happy life by letting her pick the stab she's hoping that her younger self will similarly enjoyed the rest of her childhood she expresses the wish that we would do more things more freely and more happily and more slowly really savoring them just like she wants to do it now realizing that she has let her childhood go now she wants to enjoy her adulthood in the same way knowing that soon she will become older and death is just around the corner so on that cheer reminder to enjoy the present because the end is always over the horizon