NOv 17

Definition: Provides a framework for understanding the dynamics of relationships, especially in terms of commitment and communication.

Sliding: Involves entering or deepening a relationship without deliberate discussion or conscious choice.
- It can happen incrementally or quickly without awareness.
- Example: Leaving personal items at a partner's house, which gradually leads to cohabitation without explicit communication.
Deciding: Involves intentional conversations and clarity in the relationship's direction.
- Important components include discussing future plans and mutual agreement on relationship progression.
- Emphasizes clear and active evaluation of the relationship.

Sliding is often associated with increased risk in relationships due to lack of deliberation.
- Important considerations might be overlooked when sliding occurs.
- Inertia theory suggests that sliding can lead to being "stuck" in a relationship due to the momentum of unmade choices.
Decided relationships typically experience better outcomes because partners consciously weigh pros and cons before committing.

Relationship inertia reflects the idea that sliding can create momentum that locks individuals into relationships without their intention.

Definition: Living together before marriage.
- This trend is prevalent in modern society and is tied to various demographic shifts discussed in Module 1.

Cohabiting before marriage is associated with higher divorce rates and increased conflicts.
Intentionality is crucial: couples who discuss moving in together as a deliberate next step fare better than those who slide into cohabitation.
- Couples should reflect on motivations (e.g., personal commitment vs. constraints like leases or pets).

The DTR conversation helps clarify relationship expectations and commitments.
- Improves relationship clarity and can reduce stress and uncertainty.
- It acts as a catalyst for making a relationship more "official."

Motives to Engage:
- Need for clarity, setting expectations, strong feelings about the relationship.
Motives to Avoid:
- Fear of losing connection, uncertainty about compatibility, anxiety about discussing the future.

Some couples report improvements in their relationships after having a DTR talk; others may choose to end the relationship.
- Confirming that both individuals desire to pursue the relationship can enhance stability.
- DTR conversations signify decisive behaviors in the relationship's trajectory.

The introduction of a newborn generally leads to increased conflict and decreased relationship satisfaction among couples.

Increased stress due to hormonal changes, lack of sleep, and the need for new roles within the relationship.
Couples often revert to traditional gender roles after having a child, which can lead to inequity in caregiving responsibilities.

Successful couples tend to be more intentional and collaborative, leveraging good communication skills to manage stressors during this life change.
Personal characteristics such as agreeableness and flexibility can aid couples in adapting to new parenting roles.

Ambiguous loss refers to situations where individuals experience loss without closure or clarity regarding its basis (e.g., deployment, addiction).

Relationships with ambiguous loss tend to experience more considerable challenges in achieving positive outcomes due to uncertainty in emotional and physical presence.
- Recognizes situations where physical absence does not equate to psychological absence and vice versa.

Cycling or churning involves a relationship where partners break up and get back together at least once.
- This process often occurs during emerging adulthood and is considered relatively common.

Emotional attachment to the partner, familiarity, and uncertainty about finding a new partner are common reasons for cycling back.
Research shows that a significant number of emerging adults have experienced cycling in relationships, emphasizing the impact of life transitions during this period.

Couples who cycle often experience repeated peaks and valleys, with a considerable percentage breaking up again within a year after rekindling the relationship.
The person who initiated the breakup typically retains ongoing uncertainties about the relationship’s future, following patterns of initial breakup initiators.

the good- gained