DIGITAL SELF

CHAPTER 5: THE DIGITAL SELF

“There is too much negativity in the world. Do your best to make sure you aren't contributing to it.” -Germany Kent

Introduction

Filipinos continue to reign supreme in terms of social media use globally. A report by a social media management platform Hootsuite showed Filipinos spend the most time on the internet and on social media sites. The ―Digital 2019: Global Digital Overview‖ showed Filipinos spend an average of ten (10) hours, two (2) minutes on the internet via any device, and spend over four (4) hours on social media daily. The report also said that as of January 2019, there are now 4.39 billion internet users and 3.48 billion social media users worldwide. Facebook continues to dominate the internet as the top social media platform with over 2.71 billion users, followed by YouTube with 1.9 billion users, and messaging services Whatsapp (1.5 billion) and Facebook Messenger with 1.3 billion users. Kenneth Gergen (1994) writes of the postmodern ―saturated self.‖ We are beset by many images of self via advertisement, film, TV, celebrity and life-style magazines, and even Internet chat rooms. We suffer, declares Gergen, from ―multiphrenia‖ (a confusing multiplicity of selves), hence put on many different masks-of-self when ―performing‖ online. For example, we can put up different Facebook accounts for different social groups and purposes, we have a Facebook group for family (usually the most decent), for friends (where we post whatever we want), for school (curated to please our friends from the academe). May you find this lesson helpful in finding yourself online, in forming you own digital self—one that is authentic as you are offline. Also, may it guide you in the smart use of technologies and applications especially as we enter the ―New Normal‖. Even if people nowadays rely heavily on technology to survive with their work and studies, we do not need to succumb to the culture of negativity and toxicity.

Lesson 1: The Development of the Digital Self

The idea of the digital self developed from the original phenomenon of the ‗extended self‘, pioneered by Russell Belk in 1988. He believed our possessions are a major contributor to and reflection of our identities. Back in the day, it was external objects (e.g. clothes, jewelry, car, etc.) that he believed we used and considered as part of ourselves. Nowadays, however, it is not merely tangible belongings that researchers consider as part of our extended self. Out digital possessions such as photos, videos, statuses, texts, and emails are now seen to be significantly important to shaping the self. Think about it, could you live without your smartphone or laptop?

1.1. Who are digital citizens?

There are many definitions of digital citizenship. But there is one thing that they all have in common: digital citizenship is positive, and we should all strive to be good digital citizens. The better the digital citizens we are, the more empowered we are to maximize opportunities and minimize risks online.

What is a good digital citizen? A good digital citizen has a variety of knowledge, skills, and values that help them be responsible users of ICT, particularly the internet and mobile technologies.

DIGITAL CITIZENSHIP GUIDE

  • Digital Commerce - Be respectful and always have permission before you hit buy.

  • Digital Downtime - Remember to digitally disconnect and spend time with others.

  • Digital Etiquette - Apply real world behavioral standards to the digital world.

  • Digital Health - Know when to stay connected and when to turn of devices.

  • Digital Integrity - Examine the sources of information to determine credibility.

  • Digital Literacy - Avoid suspicious emails, websites, and online advertisements.

  • Digital Privacy - Review privacy settings. Know what to share with whom.

  • Digital Responsibility - Report problems, abusive behavior, and inappropriate images or content.

  • Digital Security - Make passwords easy to remember, but hard to guess.

1.2. Why do we have a Digital Self?

The idea of the Digital Self is an interesting and relatively new topic discussed in consumer behavior research. Researchers claim that the digital web allows us to try out different personas that differ from our real-life identities. Here are some of the reasons why we express ourselves online the way we do:

  • Desire to meet the expectation of others: Research shows that over 50% of women would edit their social media photos to look better and meet the expectations that the media and magazines have set.

  • Desire to boost our self-esteem: people upload photos and statuses online that they will receive ‗likes‘ and positive feedback, which ultimately help their egos.

  • Desire to feel a sense of belongingness: Some of us want to fit in with the crowd and upload things that are ‗down with the trend‘ - for instance posting contents that are trending like dance challenges.

  • Bigger sense of freedom: Unlike real life, digital platforms allow us to express ourselves in any way we want to without anyone there to physically judge us.

  • Striving to be our ideal selves: Digital Photo Editing Apps allow us to improve our appearances on photos (through teeth whitening, skin smoothing and body shape editing). They help consumers present themselves as their ‗ideal‘ self online and inevitably feel better about themselves.

    The digital world has provided us with greater opportunities to express our identity in any form we want to. But what we all need to remember is: how will we feel if we go so far to express ourselves differently online that we forget what reality is, or worse, we end up resenting it?

Lesson 2: Understanding your Online Identity

Your identity is who you are—your characteristics, habits, aspirations, and interests. One‘s online identity is summed up by the way you behave online: that is, the things you spend most of your time doing, the sites you visit, the way you interact with others, and the things you choose to highlight about yourself. It‘s part of your personal brand. While a post can be made in a matter of seconds, it can leave a footprint for the future. The damage caused in the moment can repeat itself many times over, even when you might have thought the issue had already died. A good digital citizen knows how to manage their online identity in a way that does not damage their reputation, endanger themselves. If they don‘t brand themselves wisely, others may view them in a negative light that could affect their relationships, education, and career options.

2.1. Selective Self-presentation and Impression Management

Impression management refers to the activity of controlling information to steer others‘ opinion in the service of personal or social goals (Schlenker & Pontari, 2000). A subtype of impression management is self-presentation. According to Goffman (1959) and Leary and Kowalski (1995), self-presentation is the ―process of controlling how one is perceived by other people‖ and is the key to relationship inception and development. To construct positive images, individuals selectively provide information about them and carefully cater this information in response to other‘s feedback.

2.2. Fear of Missing Out and Social Media Envy

FOMO, or “fear of missing out,” is defined as "the uneasy and sometimes allconsuming feeling that you're missing out." FOMO refers to the feeling or perception that others are having more fun, living better lives than you are, and you are missing something. It involves a deep sense of envy and affects self-esteem. It is often exacerbated by social media sites like Instagram and Facebook. Social media provides a situation in which you are comparing your regular life to the highlights of others‘ lives. Therefore, your sense of ―normal‖ becomes skewed, you seem to be doing worse than your peers, and this may lead you to wonder what you are lacking. Social media envy happens when a person becomes envious of the lifestyle or aspects of someone else‘s life as seen through the eyes of social media. Envy as an emotion is so closely associated with the experience of using social media that it has made FOMO the acronym perhaps most closely associated with it. People‘s online presence is often a distortion of reality. If we believe the rose tinted view of other‘s lives, and compare ourselves too seriously with them, this can have a negative impact on our self-image. We might think we are not successful enough, not smart enough, or not good looking enough. A low self-esteem can lead to associated problems like anxiety, depression and eating disorders. The problem is not that we are failures, the problem is that we are judging ourselves according to an unattainably perfect benchmark. Here are ways to ward off social media envy:

1. Remember that everything you are looking at is, at some degree, unrealistic—you only see what others want you to see.

2. Make your life as exciting as you want to and treasure your real-life moments.

3. Transform envy into positive action.

4. Count your blessings. Success and happiness are subjective.

5. Remove what bothers you on social media. Unfollow if necessary.

6. Unplug, unplug, unplug. Practice social media detox from time to time.

2.3. Disinhibition Effect

In face-to-face interactions, we often hold back in things we really want to say or do for fear of leaving a negative impression. Also, we abide by a set of decorum in such situations because we are careful not to paint a wrong portrait of who we are. This is called ―impression management‖ coined by Erving Goffman. But in the cyberspace, this might not be the case. For John Suler (2004), such restrictions to behavior do not necessarily apply online. Unlike in real-life situations, individuals tend to act more intensely and openly in virtual interactions. This phenomenon is what he calls the online disinhibition effect, or the removal of social inhibitions and/or restrictions imposed upon people‘s behavior when engaging in the web. He further explains that there are two main categories of behavior that fall under the abovementioned effect: benign disinhibition and toxic disinhibition. Benign disinhibition describes behavior in which people might self-disclose more on the internet than they would in real life, or go out of their way to help someone or show kindness. Toxic disinhibition describes behavior that includes rude language, threats, and visiting places of pornography, crime, and violence on the internet-places the person might not go to in real life. One example of Toxic disinhibition is Cyberbullying. Cyberbullying is the use of electronic communication to bully a person. Examples of cyberbullying include calling someone mean names online, writing improper, abusive, or hurtful messages, or posting inappropriate photos of someone that might cause their shame, sadness, embarrassment or anger. Online behaviors of flaming (deliberately aggressive exchange), impersonation (usurping an identity to damage someone‘s reputation), trolling (baiting others with immature, mean comments), cyber stalking (repetitive, unwanted contact), and outing (revealing someone‘s personal/private information) can be forms of cyberbullying.

Lesson 3: Setting Boundaries Online: Smart Sharing

The following guidelines will help you share information online in a smart way that will protect yourself and not harm others. Before posting or sharing anything online, consider the following:

1. What do I look like? (How would I appear to someone who doesn‘t know me?)

2. Is this ink permanent? (How long will this post last?)

3. Am I giving away too much about myself? (Is it even necessary for others to know this?)

4. Would I want this shared about me? (How would it make me feel?)

5. Does it pass the Billboard test? (If this information were put on a billboard for all to see, would I still be okay with it?)

3.1. Spotting Red Flags

  • How does someone know if something seems wrong? Trust your mind and gut feelings when interacting with a new person online. They can ask themselves critical questions, like:

  • Has this person requested me to keep any information secret?

  • Has this person flirted with me, or asked me about anything sexual?

  • Has this person asked me about anything private?

  • Have I felt pressured by this person to do anything?

  • Do I feel untrue to myself when I talk to this person? Do I feel my values are being broken?

If the answer is yes to any of these questions, that should be considered a ―red flag‖. You should be wary of interacting with the person further. If there are multiple red flags, you should stop immediately and consider telling a trusted person about the incident