shared reality pt2

Shared Reality and Interpersonal Synchrony

Date: 3/17/26

Class Outline

  • What is shared reality?

  • Levels of shared reality

    • Conversation level

    • Relationship level

    • Collective level

  • How is shared reality created?

What Connects Us to Each Other?

  • Exploration of the foundational elements that foster connections between individuals.

What is Shared Reality?

  • Definition: Shared reality is the experience of having common inner states, such as feelings, beliefs, or perceptions, with others.

  • Fulfills Two Social Motives:

    • Need to Belong: Shared reality serves to connect individuals with others, fostering a sense of community and belonging.

    • Understanding: It provides validation for our predictions about how the world operates, grounding these predictions in shared knowledge.

Levels of Shared Reality

  • Shared reality exists on multiple scales, categorized as follows:

Conversation Level

  • Focused on specific topics or inner states, like a unique sense of humor or a shared memory.

  • Templeton et al. (2025): Researchers found that when individuals employ “insider language” during conversation, it enhances feelings of connection.

Relationship Level

  • Encompasses a broader, ongoing sense of shared understanding experienced with close relationships, such as romantic partnerships.

  • Critical for relationship success, as a strong relationship-level shared reality solidifies interpersonal bonds.

Collective Level

  • Reflects broader shared realities experienced within social groups, like communities or nations.

    • Examples: Religious affiliations, national identities.

    • Collective Effervescence: A term that denotes the intense feelings of energy and connection expressed when individuals gather for a common purpose or focus in a large group setting.

How is Shared Reality Created?

  • Shared reality is birthed from the perception of shared inner states by at least two individuals.

Mechanisms for Creating Shared Reality

  • Verbal Communication: While not a strict requirement, verbal exchanges can enhance shared reality.

  • Nonverbal Communication: Facial expressions and gestures play a significant role in helping individuals intuit others’ feelings, needs, and intentions.

Social Attention

  • Shared Attention: Defined as attending to the same objects or events with others (Shteynberg, 2015; 2018).

    • Research Findings:

      • Wohltjen & Wheatley (2021): Individuals make and break shared attention during instances of eye contact, resulting in increased engagement.

      • Cheong et al. (2023): Found that dyads sharing attention while watching TV felt a profound sense of connection.

Joint Attention

  • Definition: The process of using gaze or pointing to direct another’s attention (Scaife & Bruner, 1975).

Prerequisite Knowledge of Others

  • Theory of Mind: This cognitive ability allows individuals to recognize that other people have their own distinct mental states that may differ from their own.

    • Sally-Anne Test (Baron-Cohen, Leslie, & Frith, 1985): A test designed to assess the presence of theory of mind in young children, typically developing around four years of age.

    • Important for identifying shared experiences, as individuals must also recognize when those experiences are not shared.

Relationship Closeness

  • Importance of Knowledge: Understanding how well you know someone else enhances the potential for shared reality.

    • Templeton et al. (2025): Demonstrated that friends tend to use more “insider language” in conversations compared to strangers, reinforcing connections.

Simulation

  • Definition: The process of utilizing one's own internal thoughts, feelings, and beliefs to interpret external situations or the mental states of others.

  • Types of Simulation:

    • Self-Projection: Involves placing oneself into another’s situation, considering their potential thoughts and feelings, and inferring similarities.

      • Valuable when the individual cannot be perceived physically.

    • Self-Projection Gone Awry: Can sometimes act as a psychological defense mechanism, leading to misinterpretation of others' feelings or intentions.

Mirroring

  • Definition: Physically or mentally duplicating another person’s experiences, enabling vicarious understanding of their mental states.

    • Examples:

      • Witnessing painful situations

      • Observing emotional expressions

      • Seeing another person’s actions

    • Mirroring Gone Awry:

      • Mirror-Touch Synesthesia: A rare neurological condition whereby individuals feel tactile sensations on their own bodies in response to observing another being touched.

Interpersonal Synchrony

  • Definition: Refers to the temporal alignment of the behaviors and physiological responses between two or more individuals.

Class Summary

  • Concept of Shared Reality: Refers to the collective experience of holding common feelings, beliefs, or perceptions with others, which can occur at various scopes: conversational, relational, and collective.

  • Creation of Shared Reality: Achieved through various means, including:

    • Verbal and nonverbal communication

    • Social attention

    • Prerequisite knowledge of others

    • Interpersonal synchrony

  • Note: Merely engaging in actions associated with shared reality is insufficient for its creation!