Counseling is about being present with someone in their sadness and brokenness, not just fixing their problems.
The natural inclination of a counselor is to fix the problem, which can be difficult to resist.
It's hard to sit with someone in their pain, but it's more effective than simply offering solutions.
Personal Experience and Emotional Handling
A counselor shared an experience with a medically complex client who had a swollen lip and fever, needing to go to the ER after their session.
The counselor acknowledged the difficulty of addressing the client's medical trauma because they couldn't fix the situation.
Managing personal emotional reactions is essential for counselors; maintaining composure and control during sessions is crucial.
It's acceptable for counselors to cry, but not to the point of losing control of the session.
Clients sometimes subconsciously seek to elicit emotional reactions from therapists, which should be addressed directly.
Practical Application and Commitment
The main goal of the session is to learn to sit with the client's feelings and avoid trying to fix their problems.
It's impossible to solve someone's problems in a short amount of time.
The focus should be on feeling with the client, as that is what they are worth.
Nonverbal Communication Skills
Nonverbal skills include eye contact, nodding, and awareness of body language.
Fidgeting or being completely still can be distracting.
Facial expressions are important to monitor, avoiding expressions like "resting bitch face" that convey judgment.
Avoid constant nodding, as it can imply agreement with everything the client says.
Mirroring the client's body language can occur; being aware of this mirroring can provide insight into the client's feelings.
Importance of Nonverbal Cues
Nonverbal communication makes up a large percentage of communication, approximately 93%.
Voice tone should match the client's tone.
Facial expressions convey 55% of emotions.
Only 7% of emotions are conveyed verbally.
Opening Skills and Silence
Attentive silence involves communicating through nonverbal cues like leaning in and making eye contact, while intentional silence is different from being silent because you don't know what to say.
Intentional silence can be a profound skill, allowing clients to lead the discussion and explore their feelings.
Questioning Techniques
Closed questions elicit specific information (e.g., age), while open questions encourage more detailed responses.
Examples included the difference between multiple choice (close ended) and essay questions (open ended).
Open questions are better openers, such as asking "How are you doing today?"
Encouragers
Encouragers are invitations to speak, like "Tell me more."
Door openers are "right" or expressions to convey tracking.
Minimal encouragers are head nods that aren't too distracting, and the "mhmms" or "yeah".
Overuse of certain encouragers, like starting every sentence with "okay," can be distracting.
Questions can be distracting and make it seem like you're not listening and may feel like an interrogation.
Avoiding Pitfalls in Questioning
Avoid asking "why" questions, as they can put people on the defensive.
Avoid leading questions that direct the client's response.
Short interventions are usually more effective.
Importance of Nonverbals and Silence
It is okay to be attentive to silence, as it puts the onus on the speaker to keep talking, and you can focus on your own nonverbals to have better interactions with the person speaking.
Practical Considerations for Recording and Transcription
Edit the AI-generated transcript in a Word document and comment on your skills.
Include timestamps in the transcript to reference specific moments in the session.
Focus on commenting on your skills and noticing themes.
Session Guidelines and Objectives
Treat the recording as the first session with the client and have them sign the audio recording form, like those mentioned in the recording already.
There are no firm rules about what can be said in the first session, and you can use this opportunity to try different techniques.
It's important to show different differences to the client when first interacting with them, such as personal differences.
As the counselor, it is the responsibility of the individual to maintain the boundary of the conversation to be one that is safe and not causing harm.
The first ten minutes of the session should be catching up, the middle half-hour focused on emotions, and the last five minutes wrapping up.
Avoiding Common Pitfalls
Avoid saying "thank you for sharing" immediately after someone shares something deep, as it can indicate the end of the conversation.
Instead, demonstrate an appreciation for their willingness to go there.
Upcoming Deadlines
Upcoming deadlines include a lease and values paper due on 06/26 and a recording due next Thursday.