The Domino Philosophy

• Introduction: The speaker identifies as a writer and a speaker, embraces a playful persona of a "shady Nigerian," and says her purpose is to be a domino—a catalyst who aims to leave the world better than she found it by speaking up, being first, and taking the fall so others can follow. She frames change as a domino effect: one fall leads to the next.
• Core metaphor: For a line of dominoes to fall, one has to fall first, which then leaves the others no choice but to follow. The goal is for others who see this to become dominoes themselves.
• What being the domino looks like: speaking up and doing difficult things when they’re needed, with the hope that others will follow.
• Self-awareness: She describes herself as the person who says what you might be thinking but aren’t saying aloud; people may assume fearless people exist, but she argues they are not fearless and are not unafraid of consequences.
• Fear as a driver, not a limiter: Fear does not disappear, but the power of fear can be redirected so that speaking truth to power becomes necessary because there are too few people willing to fall.

Fear and Courage: The Reality of Fear

• Common misconception: "We’re fearless" is inaccurate. The speaker emphasizes that she and others feel fear but choose to act anyway because of the scarcity of dominoes.
• The concrete power of fear: Fear can stop us from doing or saying what aligns with our purpose unless we decide not to let it rule us.

My Journey: Dreams, Fear, and Becoming a Writer

• Early dream: I knew I wanted to be a doctor—"Doctor Lovey"—and later joked that I was
  "doc McStuffins before it was a thing."
• College turning point: Took Chemistry 101 for a pre-med track; earned the first and last D of her academic career; consulted an adviser to drop pre-med because hospitals didn’t appeal to her.
• Blogging begins: Began blogging in $02/2003$; what began as a hobby slowly evolved.
• Career shift to writing: Lost a marketing job in $02/2010$, which helped the hobby evolve into a full-time job.
• Delayed self-identification as a writer: It took $9$ years after starting writing to claim the identity of a writer, driven by fear about the $401k$ and maintaining a shoe habit; fear had delayed ownership of her purpose.
• Key insight: Fear has a concrete power to keep us from realizing our purpose until we decide to act anyway.

2015: The Year of Do It Anyway

• Turning point: In $2015$, at age $30$, she declared it would be her year of doing it anyway.
• Soul vacation and adventures: Took her first soul vacation abroad to the Dominican Republic; on her birthday she went ziplining through the forests of Punta Cana, noting she wore no business casual attire.
• Further adventures: Traveled to Mexico to swim with dolphins underwater; wrote her book, $\text{"I\'m Judging You, The Do Better Manual"}$.
• Embracing risk: Skydiving became a literal extreme she undertook that year, despite fearing it. The moment of leaping from the plane and seeing the earth below felt terrifying but transformative.
• Metaphor in action: The moment of deciding to jump mirrors the moment when she speaks truth against larger institutions; falling represents stepping into the unknown for truth’s sake.
• Comfort vs. truth-telling: Remaining on the plane (staying within comfort) is comfortable but maintaining the status quo; stepping into discomfort is necessary to enact change.

Core Values: Honesty, Integrity, and Personal Style

• Core values: Honesty, integrity, and justice are non-negotiable; she also adds a humorous note—shea butter as a core value, joking that the world would be better when we’re more moisturized.
• Practical moral compass: With these values, she feels obligated to speak truth even when it’s difficult.

The Domino Ethos: Disruption, Allyship, and Community

• Not only solo fighters: She argues that professional troublemakers should not bear the burden alone; when there are two or more of us in a room, our power increases.
• Active disruption: In power dynamics, your job is to disrupt what is happening and to support others who may have less ability to be heard (e.g., helping the quieter woman in a meeting).
• Collective power: If people band together, they can become a force greater than any single individual; co-signing and amplifying others’ voices strengthens the whole community.
• The responsibility to help others: When you need help, you should also offer help to someone else, creating a cycle of support.

Real-world Examples of Speaking Up

• Conference inequity: She was asked to pay her own way to speak at a conference, while white men were compensated and white women received travel paid for; Black women were expected to pay to speak.
• Public defense of truth: She chose to speak up publicly in spite of potential financial risk, recognizing that silence would harm others; her action opened space for others to share similar experiences and sparked conversations about hate inequality.
• The memoir post: After reading a disturbing memoir by a public figure, she wrote a piece despite knowing the individual’s power; she faced potential career consequences but pressed publish, which went viral and sparked discussions about mental health and self-care.
• The Me Too catalyst: She notes that many women have become dominoes in the Me Too movement; she gives a shout-out to Tyrone Burke for igniting that movement.
• Result of speaking up: Her actions contributed to widespread conversations about assault by powerful men and helped many women feel heard.

The Domino as Identity: Authenticity as Revolutionary Act

• Being yourself as a revolution: Being true to who you are in a world that expects masked representations can be revolutionary.
• The three-question checkpoint before speaking: When considering speaking truth, she asks herself three questions:
  • 1)$ Did you mean it?
  • 2)$ Can you defend it?
  • 3)$ Did you say it with love?
• If the answer to all three is yes, she proceeds and lets the chips fall.
• The aim: Telling the truth should not be revolutionary, but it often is; increasing truthful discourse builds better spaces and bridges rather than walls.

Bridges and the Greater Good: Truth as Social Glue

• Truthful dialogue as bridge-building: The purpose of speaking truth is to build bridges to common ground.
• Bridges without truth collapse: Any social bridge built without honesty will fail; truth-telling is essential for lasting connections.
• Duty and obligation: It is a duty to speak truth to power, to be a domino, and to act not only when it’s easy but especially when it is difficult.

Closing Message

• The overarching call: Commit to telling the truth to advance the greater good, disrupt harmful systems, and empower others to join as dominoes.
• Final thanks: Acknowledgment and gratitude for the audience.

"Notes": This set of notes preserves the core metaphors, personal anecdotes, concrete risk-taking examples, and the ethical stance around truth-telling and solidarity. All numerical references have been rendered in LaTeX-style markup as per the guidelines (e.g., $02/2003$, $02/2010$, $2015$, $30$, $9$, $2$, $3$, $1$, $2$).