draft 1
[If the stars align]
BY: DIYA PATEL
For those who had to climb mountains to reach love
To the stars that brought you to me
(Think of more)
Chapter 1 - Meera - Present
“Oh, you guys are thrilled to see me all miserable” The girls walk in with a cup of coffee and set it down on the table.
“Noo, not thrilled but we think you can use a little vacation” Ava lends me a hand, giving me a few books as I continue to pack but Isa sits and lays back on the chair in front of me.
“Do you think Violet would let me have this room?” Isa sips her coffee and I glare at her, “I'm not leaving permanently, control yourself Isabella because this office is mine.” She shoots me her sarcastic little smile.
“I don’t understand why she’s sending me anyway, and no it's not a vacation it’s for work. Plus, Isa just came back from that hideous place and she is quite capable of getting the job done”
“Yes, she is but Violet wants you on this not Isa”
“Thank you, Ava, for taking my side” Violet calls out from behind “Look, I know why you hate it there so much but if you don’t go for this, you’ll regret it. You helped me put this company together when there was nothing to start from, now I need you to do it one more time.”
“I know, I know, but during Navratri too? Seriously?” Right about now I’m questioning everything, even my life decisions let alone Violets. I’ve known these girls for as long as I’ve been in New York and I trust them with my life but going back to Chicago is about to be the biggest mistake of my life regardless of what Violet says. Navratri especially is the worst time of the year for this new little project she wants to start because everyone is going to be there and I know I won’t be able to miss it either. I will go though, for Violet because she has done so much for me and she has stood by me through everything.
“Woman, have some fun while you’re at it, but you packed your bags right?” Isa gets up to throw her coffee away, it's so fascinating how this woman chugs coffee down like it is water, I can feel the girls staring at me and I continue putting last-minute documents Violet hands me in my bag.
“Yes, I did, and I also talked to Lily about it” I remind them. They keep staring at me as I grab my keys and phone putting it in my purse. “I thought we were getting late?” They collaboratively nod as I take the lead.
“You guys really don’t have to drop me off at the airport” I remind them for what feels like the 20th time.
“Yea, but we want to make sure you get on that flight of yours” Isa snorts out a laugh. Ava nudges her but I smile at her joke. She isn’t entirely wrong, I would absolutely run away the second I got the chance to not take on this project.
I try to get some work done on the plane but the overwhelmingness of being in Chicago keeps me from getting anything done. But I was only going there for work and nothing more. I need to keep myself from making a fool out of myself once again. I’m not going to let him get to me this time. Nor do I need him in my life again.
I land and almost immediately get out of the airport but as soon as I’m about to pick my phone up to call Lily she comes running towards me and takes me in for a Lily hug. Its what we’ve always called it, she’ll wrap her arms around my neck while I wrap mine tight around her waist and somehow all my worries have gone away. God I missed her. “I'm taking you home” She grabs my hand and starts walking, almost forgetting about my bags. “You can just take me straight to the apartment,” I tell her while taking a hold of my bags with the other hand.
“I know, I talked to Violet, but there’s a party at my place tonight and you’re going to be there”
“I'm tired, Lily,” I complain, trying to get away from the party. God knows who she invited and I’m not exactly in the mood to meet everyone. “Lucky for you then, you have time to rest before the party starts” she smirks, helping me put my bags in the trunk. “You’re staying all of Navratri, I’ve heard?”
“Yes, I am” I shoot her a smile that she returns getting in the car. “So, what’s this party about?”
“It’s a little get-together I’d been meaning to host for a while and tonight just happened to work”
“Ahh, yes it’s totally not because I’m back” I roll my eyes at her hoping I’d be able to get out of it later. It’s not that I don’t like the people, but when there are so many emotions you have fought day and night for 6 years, you become cautious of who you surround yourself with.
“Navratri is about to get so fun, now that you’re back” She changes the topic and she’s right. It’s been too long since I last celebrated Navratri with my friends, it’s the love of my life and also the place where I met the love of my life. Was the love of my life.
“You already know” I agree with her “I missed dressing up and dancing all night with you.”
“Speaking of dressing up, you need to wear a sari tonight,” she shoots me a smile “Dress code, you know?”
“Lucky for you I have the perfect sari for tonight then,” I tell her as she pulls up to her driveway. I may be miserable and not want to dress up tonight but I’m not going to show that to my best friend. I can’t make her upset just because I am. I’m genuinely happy to see her and I want to spend the best time of the year with her. I can’t let his thoughts ruin my life, let alone him.
Chapter 2 - Krish - Present
“She’s here, I have to go” Lily informs me “Take care of yourself” and then hangs up the phone. She had called me regarding the party she was holding tonight, to personally invite me because that’s who Lily is. I suddenly feel my heart racing as I set the phone down. I can’t fathom the fact that she’s here, that I’ll get to see her tonight, I have to keep my hand at my heart reminding myself that it’s true. I’m trying to calm it down but how can I when she’s back? She’s here. She’s here. She’s here. I breathe out every word. I unbutton my blazer, taking it off to set it on my chair. I pace my office wondering if she’s changed, maybe she keeps her hair short now, do her cheeks still perk up when she laughs? Do her eyebrows still come together when someone says something stupid? Does she still glare at everyone as if she’ll end the world? Does she still dream of the stars and the moon? God, this is embarrassing. I sound like a teenage girl waiting to meet her crush.
“Are…you okay?” Ishan asks opening the door to my office, “you look like you’re about to explode”
“I might as well at this point,” I assure him “She’s back, you know?”
Ishan immediately realizes who I'm talking about, Is it written all over my face? “Oh, fuck her” He comes in and sets the files on the table, “she broke you into pieces when she left, and you’re happy about her being here?”
“No, she didn’t, I broke her into more pieces, I left her more broken than she left me,” I tell him, picking up the file he put on the table “What is this?”
“It’s another case and they want YOU on it and no one else” He points at me “She was a coward. She left when things got bad and lived happily, god knows why she is back, but you two are helpless, especially you. If you bring her back into your life, she’ll ruin you and go back to her little life. She doesn’t care.”
I have a little staring competition with my cousin before I tell him I’ll look over the case, he breaks eye contact disappointed but starts heading out the door, “Ishan” he looks back with the half-opened door “I know you’re my best friend, but you’re not gonna say shit about the woman I love.” He smiles at me, making me feel like a helpless fool “But does she love you after 6 years?” he asks and then heads out. I try to put my head back into the file but I can’t. I keep thinking about what Ishan said. I haven’t talked to her in so long and as much as I can’t wait to see her tonight, I’m sure she’s loathing it.
When I pull up to Lily’s house, I see the entire driveway filled with everyone's cars. I walk into her freshly renovated home, [HOUSE DETAILS]
I grab a drink from the servers while I make my way to Ishan, dressed in a black suit with his hair barely done, who has already been dealing with Lily on everyone's behalf, “You had to invite her here?”
“Yes, I did, as much as he is your best friend she is mine” She points at me, as I walk up to them confused.
“Okay, hold up, I’m right here before you two start talking about me again” I give Lily a quick smile, and she returns a smile but goes right back to Ishan “He knows she’s here and if he doesn’t mind, why do you?” she folds her arms and raises her brows at me.
“He doesn’t mind because he is an idiot, an idiot that doesn’t know what he wants nor what is right for him!”
“And you know what's right for him?”
“I know exactly what is right for him, and it’s for him to stay away from her.”
“You’re saying that as if you only remember how he ended up after she left, do not forget you and Meera were also friends at one point.”
I roll my eyes and let out a sigh when I see her walking down the stairs fixing her hair, wow, my eyes scan her tattoos that I’ve never seen before, that perfectly draped navy blue sari showing her waist and that smile, God that smile. She makes it downstairs and grabs a drink from one of the other servers. Why hasn’t she seen me yet?
“Is she ignoring me?” I turn back to Lily who has stopped arguing with Ishan because they’re both looking at the same woman I am. “Of course she’s ignoring you” She pats my shoulder and walks away but I don’t take my eyes off her. I can’t. Lily goes up to her and mutters something inaudible in her ear, and her body language changes instantly. She rolls her eyes and takes a deep breath before looking my way but I turn to Ishan before she sees me staring already.
Chapter 3 - Meera - Present
“There's nothing to apologize for, it's fine” I whisper into Lily's ear despite the fact that I might either end up six feet under or be in jail right now. For whose murder? I don’t know either. Lily’s the most stubborn woman I know, especially when it comes to me. She has always helped me make the most important decisions in my life. She even helped me move, sent all my things in the mail, and visited me from time to time so I owed her to stay at the party because I knew it would make her happy. I just don’t remember when everything became okay between the two. She leaves to welcome a few more guests, some of whom I haven’t seen in years and the others I’ve only heard names of on-call. She’s never kept anything from me, not even the drama between her friends I’d never met. She steered away from their drama but for the sake of both of our entertainment, she always had a story to tell. I catch Krish staring while I’m talking to Lily’s guests, I raise an eyebrow glaring back. I still can’t help noticing how well his grey suit fits him while his biceps make an imprint, clearly, he’s been working out. Haircut perfectly, one hand in the pocket and I almost felt like he was about to make his way to me but Isha takes my attention away from whatever it is he was about to do.
“Meera! How are you!” Isha squeals taking me into a big hug “I haven’t seen you in so long!” I laugh and back away “Glad to hear you missed me” keeping my eyes fixated at her smiling wide. I wasn’t fake smiling I just didn’t expect I would be hugged like this.
“Absolutely I’ve missed you, are you back for good?”
“Oh no no, only for a few days.”
“So you’re here for Navratri? After all these years?” she walks me to Lily's bar and grabs another drink for herself offering one to me as well.
“I’m actually here for work, but I will join you at night” I shake my head, denying her offer of another drink. “That’s what I like to hear!” Isha drinks what seems to be her fifth drink of the night.
“Hey krish!” she waves her hand screaming his name and running towards him “Guess who I just talked to” Clearly already drunk. I laugh as she goes over to him not being able to handle herself almost knocking over his drink. He tells Ishan to help her gain her balance he rolls his eyes but obliges and takes her to Lily.
Isha and I have never been close but we’ve always been good friends. We danced and talked about life but I never shared much of my personal life with her. It was actually nice seeing she still cared. I don’t even remember the last time we spoke. The thing is I don’t have a problem letting a lot of my old friends into my life, except Krish. Not that he was ever a friend, to begin with. Despite my vendetta against him when he comes into your life he doesn’t come alone. He brings his best friends with him; his anger, his ego, and hatred. I don’t have it in me anymore to deal with any of his bullshit.
I take a cold drink on my way to the porch, not wanting to end up like Isha tonight and face the lake behind the house. I stare at the lake until I gather the courage to look at what’s going on inside. Nothing changed since I left. All the same people, drinking, talking, laughing. The only difference is I was with them at one point and now I’m not.
He stands there, one hand in his pocket a glass of whiskey in another showing off his dimples. Clearly laughing at something Ishan said because his cheekbones become more prominent and his dimples deeper. His grey suit perfectly complements his biceps as he sets the glass down. I thought I'd be okay with him being here, that I could handle ignoring him but clearly that's not possible. Krish, I thought, was the love of my life because he taught me how to live right before she taught me betrayal.
But seeing Krish I couldn’t get myself to stay at the party for too long, so I ignored the crowd and started heading upstairs shortly after. Lily catches me but gives me a smile and an assuring nod, that's all I needed before I locked myself in.
I don’t want a reminder of your existence nor do I want to love a coward.
His words keep replaying in my head like a throbbing headache that won’t go away. I toss and turn trying to breathe but that's the thing about Krish. No matter how hard you try to forget him, you can’t, his words have a similar effect. Because even after six years I remember every single one of his words as if it were yesterday. Those who claim time heals all wounds have clearly never been in love with this man.
I lay in bed for what felt like hours, the get-together lasted past midnight which was surprising because when Indians have a get-together they can go on for a long time. Especially our goodbyes, they take at least an hour because there's always something left to talk about. Moms and aunties talk about the latest gossip, and dads and uncles sit on the sofa talking about what’s going on back in India and the properties their families took from them, while all the kids roam around the house. But that wasn’t the case at this party, lily hosted it, and no aunty or uncle had attended it was strictly just acquaintances and friends. If we had definitely inherited many traits from our parents, we did inherit their long conversation skills and goodbyes because god I could swear the goodbyes lasted just as long as the party.
When I finally get out of bed, I change out of my sari and into something a lot more comfortable, I make my way downstairs putting my hair up, “Here eat something” she demands putting a plate of food in front of me as I walk into the kitchen. I’m not hungry but if I told her that she’d end up yelling at me and hungry or not I’m not about to pass on a homecooked Indian meal.
“Thank you” I give her a little smile breaking the naan. I eat silently watching her pack the leftovers in containers.
“We got back in touch a few months ago.”
“I didn’t ask,” I say before taking another bite.
“I know, but you wanted to, and knowing your history it's best I told you.”
I shrug and continue to eat without uttering a single word. “Listen, what happened is between the two of you to discuss, I met him a few months ago after ignoring him for years for you, and well…we talked. We’re not friends but we’re..friendly.” She was justifying herself but she didn’t have to, I get it when you live in the same city and come from the same community you see people you don’t want to. That’s exactly why I left anyway. “It’s okay, really. So Navratri together huh” I change the topic.
“Yes! After so long! Exactly where everything started,” she recalls. I chuckle at what she’s trying to get to but don’t encourage her to talk further about it. “I’m tired, I think I’ll sleep” I get up taking the plate to the sink to wash. I may have stopped her from talking about it but how do I stop my brain? She was right, everything did start there. That's where I met him for the first time.
[TBW]Chapter 4 - Meera - Past
Chapter 5 - Meera - Present
Lily hadn’t given me a guest room, she’d given me my own room. She had it decorated with plants and beautifully draped curtains, pictures of our childhood memories as well as a balcony view of the lake. I appreciated it but she would be away at work all day and I needed to be in the city 30 minutes away from her house. Chicago traffic on its way downtown would end up making me late almost every day, plus Violet already had an apartment in the city, which she’d already given me the keys to before I left. She insisted I use it because she claims it's all of ours. The girls and I have bought apartments in different cities we often travel to so we can feel at home no matter where we are. I don’t remember who came up with the idea but I can almost bet it was Isa. Violet loves Chicago so she bought an apartment here whereas I have one in Hawaii where I usually run away to, away from the chaos of work in New York and my problems in Chicago.
I have only been in Chicago for 24 hours and my problems are already arising. My meeting with Mr.Smith this morning didn’t go as planned because the office space in person looks nothing like the ones we were shown a few weeks ago. Mr.Smith had come to Prestige Publishers because he was in the city and we were looking to open a new office in a different city. He had shown a few pictures of different offices but even though I was skeptical of the places the girls had agreed to see them in person, which is the reason I'm here. Now I had to call the girls back home and tell them that I was absolutely right about all these places and I would have to find a new place. The worst part about this is it’ll end up extending my stay. But before that, I need to get home and unpack. It’s not until I’ve walked to the door that I realize it's slightly open and there are noises coming from inside. Who the hell is inside?
I tiptoe inside taking my heels off making sure I can easily attack with the heel. It wouldn’t hurt but hey something is better than nothing, and it's enough to hurt someone if used well enough. I think. Following the noise I tiptoe into the bedroom and the man who was facing the other way suddenly turns.
“What are you doing!? Are you trying to kill me?” He leans back as I hold my heel up high, almost hitting him. “What am I doing? What are you doing in my apartment? I could’ve hurt you if you hadn’t turned around on time!” I yell at Krish putting my hand down. “Okay first of all you have zero survival skills if you were gonna attack with a heel and two Lily asked me to drop your things off, she told me she would tell you I’d be here.”
I recall Lily’s calls but I was in a meeting with Mr.Smith so I couldn’t pick up or check her texts. Maybe they were to let me know he would be here dropping my things off. “She called I just couldn’t pick up,” I tell him dropping my heels to the floor in half embarrassment. He gives me a half smile and starts walking out, “thank you for dropping my things off” I say walking behind him. “Anytime,” he calls out waving but this time he’s more silent even when he wants to speak up “There's another package, I’ll be right back with it.”
“It's okay, I’ll come get it myself.”
“Start unpacking, I’ll be right back” he demands and leaves me at my door. He is so infuriating! I roll my eyes but go back into the bedroom to unpack. It isn’t until I start unpacking that I notice the balcony and blinds are open, I walk to the balcony and admire the view. The people look like ants from up here, violet really outdid herself. Getting a penthouse in the city with a view of both the city and the lake shore is expensive but it feels so worth it at this moment. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t get along with the city but that doesn’t mean it's not beautiful. I hear Krish barge in with the last of the box scaring me half to death, placing it on the kitchen island. When will this man stop scaring me!?
“I didn’t order anything, what is it?” I ask him expecting him to have an answer.
“Lily sent new clothes, she thought you’d like to have more options.”
“Oh my god that’s so sweet!” I cut open the box immediately while he took his phone out of his pocket, “I’ll make sure I let her know you liked it,” he gives me a smile.
“Thank you again, Mr.Barot.”
“Been a while since I’ve heard that,” he grins showing off his dimples, and then walks out the door. I send Lily a quick thank you text and spend the rest of the day tidying up the apartment a little, and unpacking my clothes. When I finally check the time I realize how late I’m going to be if I don’t start getting ready right now. I dump all my work papers in the office because that is tomorrow's problem, and I rush to get dressed. I have an hour and a half until I need to be there but I still needed to call Violet and the girls while I got ready.
“So, what happened today?” Violet asks over FaceTime while Isa and Ava stand behind.
“Tell me please the place is worth it.”
“No Isa, it’s not. It’s a dump, literally, there's a problem in every single corner it's going to cost a lot more than what we’re willing to spend.”
“So, what now?” Ava crosses her arms and stares at me through the screen.
“I mean…I can come back..?” I hesitate the idea but it's the only way I’m going to get out. “No you’re not coming back, you’re staying there and finding a better place,” Violet demands “We’re not canceling just because the places you toured today didn’t meet our expectations.”
“Fine. I’ll stay back. So demanding.” I roll my eyes at the girls smiling and cut the call. This is one hell of a nightmare. If I want to get out soon I was supposed to start finding a new place 5 hours ago.
Chapter 6 - Krish - Present
I usually stay out of aartis. I understand that Navratri is all about goddesses but I no longer believe in god so why would I bother staying during aarti? If I’m committed to not believing I’m going to stick to it regardless of what everyone has to say about it. Which is usually a lot. Ishan has tried to take me to temples and pujas but he soon gave up as well. If I didn’t force him to reconsider believing in god, he shouldn’t expect me to start believing either. He calls me stubborn but I don’t really care. I stay outside during aarti and wait until it's over every day of Navratri. I don’t recall the last time I did believe in them. I don’t remember the last time I fasted. I don’t remember the last time I even talked to them. I’m not against believing in god, I don’t force anyone to follow my path but it's difficult to love someone, be it the higher being, when all they’ve done is take from you. Believe me, after all these years nothing has changed. Except for one thing, her.
She believes in her gods. She talks to them and I respect her so much for that. She was inside during aarti so how could I have stayed out? She looked so beautiful in her chaniya choli, that I couldn’t help but follow her in shortly after. I stayed back, I didn’t go in the front the way she did, I didn’t put my hands together like her, and everyone else standing did but I stayed back and watched her. If god is real, maybe they won’t forgive me for not believing in them or for being disrespectful for looking at a girl instead of praying but I don’t care. There isn’t anything more they can take from me now anyway.
Ishan looks at me as if he’s just seen a ghost. His eyes widen as he starts walking towards me with both of his hands folded, “What are you doing here?” he inquires. He takes his eyes off of me to see to check who I’m looking at.
DANCING BUT AWAY
[TBW] Chapter 7 - Meera- Past
[TBW] Chapter 8 - Krish - Present
Chapter 9 - Meera - Present
Mr.Smith has been showing up all the different properties for about 5 hours now, and none of them look even close to the pictures online or the ones he showed back in NYC. CONTINUE
…
After Lily heard about what happened with Mr.Smith, she called me over to an Indian restaurant to grab some lunch. By the time I reach the restaurant, she’s already there placing an order, “she’ll take a masala chai, thank you” she smiles at the waiter handing off the menu as I slide into the booth facing her. I put my head down on the table and she gently massages my head until I finally sit up straight, “you know what, it’s fine, who cares if I can’t find a good property, it just means there's a better one that I’m meant to find,” I start blabbering to her. “Are you trying to convince me or yourself?”
“Myself..”
“Good cause I have a solution you might not like.”
“I’ll take anything at this point” I agree as the waiter brings out our coffee and chai.
“Alright, well don’t say no before listening but I think you should talk to Krish.”
“NO.” I almost spit out my cha before I can get the words out. I am trying to get out of Chicago because of him, I don’t need him roaming around with me especially helping me. “You don’t have another option, he has contacts and I’m sure he would be willing to help you.” she tries convincing me but there's no way I'm taking that offer “Meera, if you want to get this over with, ask him for help. He will get you an office space within your budget and better than the ones you’ve already toured.”
“I may be desperate to get this over with but I’m not asking for his help and that’s final.” She gives up as I try taking another sip of chai. Hot hot hot. “Talking about me ladies?” A man pops up from behind scaring me half to death. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. “No, Mr.Barot we’re not and I would appreciate it if you stopped scaring me.” He smirks and keeps his hands in his pocket leaning against the booth by Lily.
“Actually Krish we-” Lily begins talking to him but stops mid-sentence when she catches me staring. When Krish sees me stopping her from talking he turns to Lily, “Go on Lily tell me what it is that she needs help with” I roll my eyes and drink my chai, “careful there it’s still hot” he warns. I stare back at him drinking the hot chai as it burns my tongue but I need him to engrave in his head that in no situation am I listening to him.
“She’s been touring properties downtown because her company is opening up an office in Chicago too but she can’t find any good ones so I was just telling her to ask you for help but she’s being stubborn about it. As always,” She spills. Oh, she’s so dead. “There might be a few office spaces available, I can make some calls to find out and give them to you.”
“No, I’m not taking anything you give me.”
“I wouldn’t be giving it to you, it's for rent and I would be renting it out to prestige.” He confirms. “See, it's perfect!” Lily squeals. I thought he only owned the firm. I didn't know he rented spaces out too. “You rent spaces out too? GOD, how many things do you do?” I mumble raising my brows.
“Well since you asked, I own the firm, have a realtor business-”
“Okay, I don’t want to know, take your career fair somewhere else, I’ve got things to figure out.”
“Meera, stop being stubborn and come tour the spaces once you’re done figuring out whatever it is that you need to figure out.” I bat my eyes at him but he doesn’t blink. God, I hate that he isn’t scared of me. “You know how to get in contact with me” he finally gets up and leaves.
Yesterday when he was dropping my things off at the apartment, I didn’t get a good look at his hands. Not until today at least while he got up from the table. Not seeing a ring on his finger tells me there's a lot more about him that I’ve yet to find out.
“I thought he would’ve married by now…” I confess once he’s far enough to not hear us, keeping my eyes fixated on him as he leaves.
“He did.” Lily takes a look back.
“What happened?” I bring my focus back to Lily.
“Not my story to tell, I’m sure he would rather tell you himself.” She takes another sip while I sit back. I know I shouldn’t care about his life, but I can’t help the fact that I actually do. To know he probably went through a lot while I was gone breaks my heart a little more. I know so much about him yet nothing at all. I care more than I care to admit but asking him about his past may not even be the right thing to do.
“How does he have time to do everything?”
“Well, his firm has lawyers for basically everything and they all have their own departments. Maybe that's how he finds the little time here and there. He owns the firm but he keeps himself busy. I've heard the littlest cases go through him and he gets his own cases too. I think you should take his offer and at least go check out a few places.”
I nod as we continue eating lunch, and while I’m interested in our conversation I can’t help but think about Mr.Barot’s offer. I know I don’t want to work with him but he clearly said he could help me. Plus it’s not like he would be with me while I check the places out, he has so many people and I’m sure he has someone to do this to. I may be touring his places but I'm not spending any time with him.
Technically this offer is still in my favor, which makes me want to take up his offer. I decided that I should at least give it a shot. Getting a tour of the place doesn’t mean anything to either of us and it's currently my best bet.
Chapter 10 - Krish - Present
Meeting Lily and Meera today wasn't a part of my to-do list today, I was on my way to a meeting with Nick and Ishaan, for my latest case but I saw them sitting at the restaurant near my office. Meera was laying her head on the table which didn't say much but when she drank what seemed to be chai right after the waiter put it on the table I knew something was wrong. She hates hot chai, she needs it to be room temperature before she even touches it let alone drink. So I had to head in, which eventually led to giving Meera that offer but I know she's way too stubborn to take it. But God I want her to take it so bad, I want to talk to her, spend the day with her and just be around her even if it means she's going to want to trouble me if I'm with her.
I'll take her stubbornness, not listening and troubling me any day over her never talking to me. Maybe if she starts talking to me, she'll give me a chance to apologize because I need that ray of sunshine in my life again. It sounds selfish of me to say that but I don't care, I'll always be selfish when it comes to her. I need her to know that I never stopped loving her, and I'll keep trying until my last breath.
There is so much I need to say to her but for now, I need to focus on Nick’s case. He and I aren’t particularly close, we went to the same high school and then never talked to each other so when Ishaan gave me this case I was shocked to hear from him again. He walks in about five minutes after I make it to my office, I extend my hand and he shakes it before taking a seat.
“I’m sorry for your loss, Nick, but I don’t understand why you’re here.”
“Straight to the point, I like it, Krish,” he spins in the chair. I opened up the file Ishaan had given me about this case but there isn’t anything I can do to help him. There's nothing odd about it. “I don’t understand..” I ask hesitantly.
I know he is here for his dad, one of the most successful men in the country who recently committed suicide. It was all over the news when it happened, it left everyone in shock. I even went to his funeral to pay my respects because that man and I have worked together a lot, he was one of the best, and I’ve learned a lot about business from him.
“I don’t think it was a suicide” Nick finally speaks up. I look up at him utterly confused, “What do you mean?”
“Think about it, do you really think a man at the highest peak of his career would commit suicide? Come on man, you knew my dad more than I did, you’ve worked with him, do you really think he was the type of man to just go and off himself?” He states. He’s not wrong, he was never the type of man to do something like that. “What are you suggesting it was?” I ask him.
“Murder.”
“I- Nick, that man had no enemies,” I tell him.
“Krish, I know, and I have no proof right now but I need your help, please.” He confesses.
“I’ll help but we can’t take any action before we have something to back up the fact that it was murder,” I explain, “keep this to yourself, and don’t let anyone find out, I’ll see what I can do.” He gets up from his seat and gives me a nod. He shakes my hand again and leaves. I understand where he’s coming from, he lost his dad but I don’t understand why he thinks it was a murder. Things don’t add up the slightest but I’ve known Ray for a long time to understand why his son feels like it was a murder instead.
…
I spend the rest of the day trying to research more about Raymond, his biggest rivals in the business industry, and his distant family but I don’t find anything. He was a successful businessman, he cared about everyone and I’d met him only a few days before he passed away.
He showed no signs, he was rather cheerful and in a celebratory mood at his party, there was nothing out of the ordinary about the party or him. He threw one every first Saturday of the month and he did just that last month, invited the richest in the country as always. He liked having information on what was going on everywhere, and the party was a way for him to find out just that. But I'm done thinking about that party, I have one of my own to attend and I’m already getting late.
I barely made it on time for puja, I find my way to Ishan first today, his hands folded praying in his yellow kurta, still just as shocked as yesterday to see me in puja once again. “I can get used to this side of you again,” he leans in and whispers.
“Don’t, it's temporary,” I don’t fold my hands today either, I just keep them to the side.
“I’ll have to give her credit for the one good thing she did,” he smiles.
“Shut up and pray.” I shut him off, I may not pray but I don’t think there's any reason to have the most nonsensical conversations during. If you’re praying, focus on it, or don’t part-take at all. It really isn’t that hard. For someone who doesn’t pray I have the decency to not talk during it because I don’t want to disturb the others who are praying. Some people, including Ishan, never got the memo.
Once Garba starts Meera joins the circle with Lily and starts dancing with her. I continue dancing in a different circle but watching her twirl around in her choli today in red leads me to make decisions I probably shouldn’t. I cut everyone through the circle and get in front of Meera in the circle. My head and heart don’t go to war today. Nor do they have a reason to. Meera sees me after a whole minute but continues to ignore me.
Her utter silence towards me reminds me how badly I miss holding her during this time of the year. Back when I could hold her close because she was mine and I was hers. Back when her choli was too long I’d hold it while we danced. Our first Navratri together was the complete opposite of what it is right now.
…
Chapter 11 - Meera - past
[TBW]Chapter 12 - Krish - present
Chapter 13 - Meera -Present
Krish has always had the guts to get all in my space without any fear. He gets in front of me in our circle just like he used to and I do nothing but ignore him. I can’t help but look at him though, stealing glances at his back when he isn’t facing me, I can’t even stand dancing next to him without feeling like my heart is breaking, how am I supposed to tell him I’ll take his offer? He knows how to play his moves, so subtle, so small yet big enough to bring everything crashing down. I won’t deny that dancing with him makes me miss what we had back then.
No, don't say that, you don’t miss anything about this man.
While dancing he accidentally steps on my lehenga, almost making me lose my balance while dancing. It catches me by my waist and I tense up to his touch. It's been years since he’s touched me, since any man has remotely gotten as close to me to say the least. I swear this man is going to be the death of me both literally and figuratively.
Krish for some reason decides to hold on to me for a lot longer than necessary, but I pull away catching my breath. His big brown eyes shine at me but don’t say anything, it makes me wish he would speak up instead. We simultaneously decide to ignore what just happened and join our friends, we follow Lily's steps matching the beat of the music.
…
The night doesn't cause any more drama, we keep dancing all night. Matching our pace to the beat of the music, throwing our hands in the air as the music gets faster while our legs take big steps. By the time we start Raas, it’s already midnight. I know I'm going to be tired the next morning, and that I'm going to hate having to wake up early for work but that makes it even more fun. The night will end with even more blisters on my legs than I got last night, dirty feet, and a sweaty face but that's the whole point. You haven't danced your heart out until you look like a mess.
GETTING HURT AND RAAS
“Krish, take her home,” Lily says helping me get up.
“NO!” I raise my eyebrows at her, “Why can’t you?” I question.
“Krish lives near you… it's for the best if he does this late at night,” she answers as I find my balance still in pain.
Krish comes and takes my hand but I pull away not wanting to get any closer to him than I already am. It's bad enough that I have to work with him, It’s worse now that he has to take me home too. If only I could find a way to stay away from him because getting closer isn’t good for either of us.
Our ride home is awfully silent. I could tell him at that moment but I decided to stay quiet for some reason. The silence isn’t awkward per se, I actually feels at peace being in his presence. He soon parks his car in the building parking lot and gets out of the car before me to open my door. He lends me his hand to help me get out and this time. I contemplate the two options I have, either to take his help or limp and fall once again and seriously hurt my ankle this time. Selfishly, I take his hand for a little help, what's wrong with that? He gently puts his hand on my bare waist to guide me and for some reason, it doesn’t feel foreign. It doesn’t feel like it's been six years since he’s touched me like this. Almost as if it belongs there.
“Uh..Mr.Barot..” I finally speak.
“Finally,” he responds quickly.
“Excuse me?” I halt and arch my brows up at him.
“I hate it when you’re quiet. I know me dropping you off isn’t the most ideal situation but…that doesn’t mean I wasn’t waiting for you to start talking to me,” He confesses pressing the elevator buttons.
“Don’t get too excited but..” I try to get the words out but I can’t. I know it's just me asking for his help but honestly, I didn’t think it would be this hard. Nothing between us is okay and asking for his help is a big deal because it means having to spend time with him. I’ve barely learned to live without him these past six years, so having to ask for his help makes it all look like a waste.
“I’ll text you the address, I’ll meet you there at 10 tomorrow,” he steals my thoughts.
“How- did you know?”
“I know you better than I know myself,” He grabs onto me even tighter as if I would slip right away from his hands.
“Mr.Barot..aren’t you married? I don’t think a married man should be flirting with his ex.” I ask hesitantly. It’s been so long, how could he have not married by now? It didn’t make sense in the slightest. If I had asked back then, Lily would’ve easily told me but I never asked because I never wanted to hear about him. Now I’m desperate for answers that might just break me into pieces.
Krish takes a step back as if I caught him off guard, “No” he answers after moments of silence “I’m no longer married.”
That comes off as a shock to me but I don’t push for answers. “Thank you for helping, I’ll see you tomorrow.” I finally unlock my door and head inside but he waits for me to lock my door before leaving.
[TBW]Chapter 14 - Krish -Present
[TBW]Chapter 15 - Meera - Present
Chapter 16 - Meera - Present
I know it's probably unrealistic to find, love, and finalize the first place you tour but after this place, we looked at a few more floor plans and the first one just stuck with me. I mean how could I not fall in love with it? It was perfect. I thought I would give Mr.Barot a hard time but he somehow knew exactly what I wanted. Floor-to-ceiling windows, 3 individual office rooms, a lobby. It was smaller than what we had originally wanted, but I had no other complaints about it. A small space is better and easier to handle than one with chipped paint, holes in walls, and spiderwebs everywhere.
“So you like this one?” Krish asks from behind.
“I’ll have to say this one is perfect” I confess hoping he doesn’t start giving me his smug look.
“See asking for help isn’t exactly a bad thing.”
“Uh-huh, the company before kept this place intact and clean.” I ignore what he just said and take pictures of the office to send back to the girls.
“You’ll be pleased to know that there was no one before you,” He sits on one of the tables.
I don’t say anything to him after that. I thought that after last night he wouldn’t want to be around but I thought wrong. I turn around and lean on the door frame sending the pictures to Violet, “Don’t you have people who can probably help me?” I look up to find him still sitting and waiting patiently for me to get done “Maybe you should go back to your company, and make sure it's not facing any losses in your absence.” I continue to tease.
“What type of businessman would it make me if my company couldn’t last a few hours without me?” He finally gets up and closes the distance between us, “Plus, I wouldn’t want you to hate me any more than you already do.”
“Popular to contrary belief, I think it's still possible.”
“Wanna bet?” He lifts my chin with the tip of his finger, his hypnotic brown eyes stare into mine as he lets his face inch closer every second. Fortunately, right before I’m about to make the biggest mistake possibly of my life, my phone starts buzzing. I immediately broke contact and went back to answer Violet's call. Thank God. I almost hear him curse under his breath.
[TBW] Chapter 17 - Meera - Present
[TBW]Chapter 18 - Meera - Past
Chapter 19 - Krish- Present
Meera comes back to my office not long after to sign the leasing papers. …
Four times. She’s gotten out of the line four times to fix her hurting earrings. She’s used to leaving the painfully long and heavy earrings on during Navratri but I don’t want her to get used to the pain. She shouldn’t have to get used to the pain, at least she never was back then. [Talk about the past earrings]
When I’m no longer able to handle watching her put herself through pain I grab her by her arm and take her out of the circle and away from everyone. That's when I notice the strings of her blouse aren't tight enough to withstand her dancing all night, it's going to untie in another round or two. Her confused eyes follow, pleading to let her go, I get behind guiding her into a corner where no one can see us.
“What are you doing!” she asks, trying to leave but I block her and trap her in. The brows knit together trying to understand what i'm up to, but I’d rather her be mad at me for this than let her endure another second of pain.
I turn her around but this time she doesn't protest. I would've called Lily over to fix the strings of her blouse but she was busy dancing and I hadn't thought about her while bringing Meera to a secluded spot.
My hands don’t feel foreign on her skin as they brush against her back. I should be doing this really quick but I want to take my time.
Chapter 20 - Meera - Present
ADD: GIVING JHUMKAS
I walk into my apartment and am about to take my earrings off when I hear a knock on my door. I wasn’t going to open the door but the knocking continues and I give in. Who the fuck- I open the door and there he is, still in this white kurta, sweating from playing garba all night, the view I've longed for so long. Krish. I return to my senses before they escalate and realize he is right outside my door. “What are you doing here?” I ask, leaving him hanging by the door but he walks in uninvited. Typical Krish continues to do whatever he wants.
“I came to see you,” He says locking the door.
“Funny, I thought we had an agreement of you never wanting to see me.”
“Well, I changed my mind.”
“I haven’t, now if you’ll excuse me I would like to freshen up and sleep.” I walk over to the kitchen island and face him.
“No, you will listen to me” he announces.
“I don’t have to.”
He walks closer and closer to me with every word that comes out of his mouth “Listen to me…will you?”
Say no. Say no. Say no.
He is closer than ever at this moment and as much as I want to step back I can’t. He still smells like his old self, almost as if he wore his Channel on purpose. He planned this, he knew he was going to come to me. He planned this so thoroughly that he wore my favorite cologne on him, the very cologne I have stayed away from for years. He wanted to remind me of all the moments we’ve shared together without having to utter a single word. He looks down at me, the brush of his hands sends electricity through my body. I flinch away, not because I'm scared of him. I’m scared of myself. I’m scared if he makes another move I won't be able to walk away this time. My feelings for him scare me every day and as much as I wish they didn’t I can’t help it. I can’t help myself from wanting to run away from this moment regardless of how much I want it. He takes my hand in his but he’s not scared.
“Don’t do this Krish, or we’ll both end up doing something we’ll regret in the morning” He steps even closer pushing me back to the kitchen Island taking both of my hands in his.
“I would never regret anything with you, I never have and never will.” With every aching breath, he takes a step closer. He moves his hands to my waist, making sure I’m aware of every part of body he touches.
“Krish…we can’t..” his name slips out of my tongue without hesitation but it surprises me nonetheless. His eyes light up and I'm afraid I know exactly why. I’ve been calling him by his last name all this time, pretending he was no one but a stranger but I can’t deny we have a history, that this is the man I loved…love… He carefully takes the safety pin out of my dupatta that rested on my right shoulder and drops it to the floor without taking his eyes off of me.
“Who said we couldn’t?”
He brings his mouth closed and kisses my neck, “It’s wrong of us to do this” I whisper, under my breath not sure whether he heard me or not. “The Meera I knew made her own decisions, when did she start getting scared of what was right or wrong?” his mouth hovers over my neck, “Don’t think about whether we should or shouldn’t do this, tell me you don’t want this as much as I need you and I’ll walk right out that door. I don’t appreciate your eyes telling me something else my love,” he breathes again, making me well aware of his hot breath touching my neck. And in this moment, I’m aware of everything. Every part of me that he is touching and every part of me that needs to feel him. Maybe one night won’t. I just want to feel him after all these years. It’s not going to happen again. Just once. Once. And for the first time in six years, I lift my hand up to his chest to feel his beating heart while he continues to kiss the sensitive part of my neck he is so well aware of.
His hands reach my back to untie the strings of my blouse, he swiftly takes it off from the from as he continues kissing me. I for someone thought he would be rough, to show me what the last six years have done to him but instead, he’s taking it slow. He doesn’t want to show me anything, he wants to make me feel the torture of our distance. He wants to remind me of every feeling I’ve felt with him, telling me he’s not leaving anytime soon, and that we’ve got the entire night to ourselves. Even after all these years, even after all those hurtful words, he doesn’t fail to give me hope.
He looks into my eyes this time, cupping my cheek with his left hand while the other hovers down to the string of my choli, he pulls it right off and lets the choli fall to the floor around me. I fist his kurta with both of my hands and pull him closer to my lips. I kiss him, intensely, forgetting the past. Oh god, I craved him so bad. He doesn’t hold back, he kisses me with just as much intensity, I dissolve in his hold and if it weren’t for him holding me up I would’ve fallen to the floor. “I missed you, Meera” he confesses between his breaths, “and I didn’t, not one bit,” I tell him taking off his kurta without breaking our kiss, “Such a bad liar” he smiles biting my lower lip.
Continue babesss
Chapter 21 - Meera- Present
The next morning I wake up ready to argue with him but I don’t find him anywhere, instead, I find a note he left in the kitchen. I’m sure you were looking forward to waking up next to me but I’ll give you that pleasure some other day. I’ve made breakfast for you, hoping it makes up for not being with you. I look around to find parathas and cha cold enough for me to actually like drinking it. I put the note down to pick up a cup of tea when I noticed my clothes from last night weren’t on the floor anymore, he folded them and kept them on the couch. And all of a sudden I'm reminded how nice it is to be taken care of. I had been living alone in New York, even when I had boyfriends I refused to let them stay overnight let alone take care of me. Which I think played a huge part in none of my lasting relationships. I couldn’t stand the thought of burdening anyone else no matter how much they told me I wasn’t. You don’t heal from that type of hurt so fast. It sticks with you. And Krish brought it all back last night.
Instead of taking the car, I decided to walk to Prestige this morning. I haven’t really gotten the time to roam around the city yet so walking today to work just seemed perfect. The beginning of fall in Chicago is always so beautiful. The leaves haven’t lost all the green but the red is starting to shine, the cool breeze making it chilly outside but the sun shining makes it the perfect sweater weather. I’ve never been a fan of winter and never liked snow because of its aftermath. Fall and spring perfectly balance out Chicago summers and winters no matter how bipolar the city's weather is.
The first thing I had done yesterday after getting the place was hire cleaners, who shortly arrived after I did. I would’ve cleaned it myself but Violet was adamant I hire cleaners and focus on what we're going to do with the place instead of worrying about cleaning it.
[TBW]Chapter 22 - Meera- Past
[TBW]Chapter 23 - Krish - Present
Waking up next to Meera might’ve been the second-greatest feeling in the world because the first was her finally saying my name.