Chapter 9: Raising Children in a Diverse Society

Lamanna/Riedmann/Stewart, Marriages, Families, and Relationships: Making Choices in a Diverse Society, 14th Edition. © 2021 Cengage. All Rights Reserved.

Chapter Outline

  • Parenting in Twenty-First Century America

  • Gender and Parenting

  • What Do Children Need?

  • Experts Advise Authoritative Parenting

  • Social Class and Parenting

  • Parenting and Diversity: Sexual Identity, Racial/Ethnicity, and Religion

  • Grandparents as Parents

  • Parenting Young Adult Children

  • Toward Better Parenting

Parenting in Twenty-First Century America

  • Demographics of Families

    • Married couples comprise two-thirds of families with children under age 18.

    • Single mothers account for one-quarter of families.

    • Multipartnered Fertility: A situation where a father resides temporarily with one or more of his children, but not others.

    • Parenting situations are often fluid, indicating family instability.

    • Parents face questions reflecting contemporary societal issues.

Parenting Challenges and Resilience

Positive Influences on Parenting

  • Increased parental education includes knowledge of child development and child-rearing techniques.

  • Fathers are more emotionally involved in parenting.

  • Fewer children experience exposure to violent crime.

  • The Internet provides a wealth of information for various parenting situations.

  • Communication technologies enhance parental contact and engagement.

Challenges Faced by Parents

  • Parents can experience challenges and make mistakes.

  • Resilience Definition: The ability of children and adults to recover from adverse situations and events.

  • A single caring, conscientious adult can foster resilience in a child.

Societal Factors Hindering Parenting

  • Parenting sometimes conflicts with work responsibilities.

  • Children are raised amid diverse and conflicting societal values and points of view.

  • Parents often encounter overwhelming and conflicting parenting advice.

  • Many parents manage both young children and older family members, increasing the caregiving burden.

  • Societal support for the role of parent has diminished.

  • Parental authority is increasingly questioned by external influences.

  • Parental expectations have increased compared to 20 years ago.

A Stress Model of Parental Effectiveness

Sources of Parental Stress

  • Parents experience stress from job demands, financial issues, neighborhood safety concerns, and stigma from stereotypes.

  • These stresses contribute to:

    • Parental frustration

    • Anger and depression

    • Increased likelihood of household conflict

Consequences of Parental Stress

  • Parental depression, couple aggression, and household conflict can lead to:

    • Inconsistent discipline

    • Limited parental warmth or involvement

    • Lower levels of trust and communication between parent and child

  • Having social support can help alleviate these negative effects.

The Transition to Parenthood

Challenges During Transition

  • Transitioning to parenthood entails:

    • An abrupt change to 24-hour responsibility.

    • Interruptions to sleep, work, and leisure time.

    • Decreased couple time together.

    • Possible lack of adequate support systems.

    • Deterioration of emotional and sexual relationships.

Specific Struggles

  • In a heteronormative society, same-sex parents may experience additional stress.

  • Employed mothers in egalitarian relationships may revert to more traditional roles postpartum.

  • The transition is easier for relationships with strong foundations before parenthood.

  • Parenting paradox: Despite feeling overwhelmed, new parents find motivation in their children.

Gender and Parenting

  • Cultural Expectations: Fathers are primarily viewed as financial providers and need to be active caregivers.

  • Mothers traditionally remain the psychological parents, carrying major emotional responsibilities.

  • Gay, bisexual fathers, and transgender or gender-fluid parents challenge existing gender roles in parenting.

Doing Motherhood

  • Mothers engage in more hands-on parenting than fathers, typically assuming primary responsibility for child upbringing.

  • Mothers define quality time as intimate talks or child-centered activities, while fathers often see it as being available at home.

Single Mothers

  • Approximately 40% of births occur to unmarried women, with half to cohabiting mothers.

  • Many women do not plan to raise children alone.

  • A supportive social network enhances child adjustment.

  • The stress model, time constraints, fewer resources, and higher depression levels lead to less effective parenting behaviors.

Doing Fatherhood

Impact of Father Involvement

  • Engagement from fathers correlates with improved cognitive, emotional, and behavioral outcomes for children.

  • Father absence is linked to adverse effects, particularly in boys.

  • Social Fathers: Nonbiological father figures, like stepfathers, play significant roles.

  • Although social fathers do not significantly improve adolescent outcomes compared to single-parent homes, they can provide economic benefits for younger children.

Perceptions of Fatherhood

  • About 60% of fathers express dissatisfaction with the time spent with their children.

  • Fathers tend to engage in more playful and leisure activities with their children.

  • Better-educated fathers with satisfying jobs are significantly more engaged.

  • Factors such as unemployment and financial issues lead to ineffective parenting.

Types of Fatherhood

  • Stay-at-Home Fathers:

    • Approximately 2.5 million families have a stay-at-home father.

    • Fathers often perceive a lack of social status associated with full-time parenting.

  • Single Fathers:

    • The percentage of single fathers is significantly lower compared to single mothers, at around 2.4% of families with children under 19.

    • Many single fathers 'step up' to the role without relying heavily on extended family assistance.

    • Challenging stereotypes around masculinity in parenting.

  • Nonresident Fathers:

    • Refers to fathers who do not live with one or more of their children.

    • Cooperation in coparenting is often lacking among nonresident fathers.

    • Research indicates increased involvement among nonresident fathers when the child is male.

    • A majority of nonresident fathers maintain some involvement in their children's lives, albeit declining over time.

    • Father involvement heavily depends on the relationship quality with the mother.

What Do Children Need?

Basic Needs

  • Children Require:

    • Parental acceptance

    • Encouragement

    • Adequate nutrition and shelter

    • Parental interest in schooling

    • Consistent rules and expectations

    • Guidance appropriate to age and development level

Developmental Needs Across Age Groups

  • Infants:

    • Bonding with a reliable caregiver.

    • Affectionate and intimate relationships.

    • Varied conversational and environmental exposure.

  • Preschool Children:

    • Opportunities for motor skill practice.

    • Exposure to a rich vocabulary.

    • Clear, consistent behavior expectations.

  • School-Age Children:

    • Opportunities to achieve age-appropriate goals.

    • Skills for interacting with peers.

    • Realistic feedback regarding accomplishments.

    • Feeling of contribution by engaging in family tasks.

  • Teenagers:

    • Feeling listened to and understood.

    • Support coupled with guidance and emotional availability.

    • Effective conflict resolution techniques.

Experts Advise Authoritative Parenting

Parenting Styles Defined

  • Parenting Style: A general approach to child-rearing that encompasses emotional support and discipline, inclusive of monitoring.

  • Styles of Parenting:

    • Authoritarian

    • Permissive

    • Authoritative

Authoritarian Parenting Style

  • Characterized by low emotional warmth and high levels of control.

  • Often involves harsh disciplinary methods such as spanking and criticism.

  • Associated with increased delinquency and reduced personal effectiveness in children.

Permissive Parenting Style

  • Generally low in discipline; may lead to indulgent or neglectful parenting styles.

  • Associated with mental health issues, academic difficulties, behavioral problems, and high rates of teenage pregnancy.

Authoritative Parenting Style

  • Combines high warmth with monitoring; recognized as the most effective style.

  • Encourages individuality while providing structure and limits.

  • Children often excel academically and exhibit social competence.

Parenting Styles Matrix

  • Parental Warmth:

    • Low

    • Authoritarian

    • Permissive - emotional neglect

    • Permissive - indulgent

    • High

    • Authoritative/positive

A Closer Look at Diversity: Parenting LGBTQ+ Children

  • Application of the stress model is essential, particularly during an LGBTQ+ child's coming out.

  • Authoritarian parents may react negatively, while authoritative parents are more supportive and understanding.

Is Spanking Ever Appropriate?

  • A majority of American parents (more than half) report never using spanking.

  • Cultural beliefs among certain immigrant groups may justify spanking.

  • Harsh physical punishment may lead to mood and anxiety disorders in adulthood.

  • The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends against spanking altogether, while the American College of Pediatricians delineates between disciplinary spanking and abuse.

Social Class and Parenting

Concepts of Socioeconomic Status (SES)

  • SES is defined as one’s position in society based on education, occupation, and/or income.

  • SES interplay significantly influences opportunities, experiences, and life chances more than race/ethnicity or family structure.

Middle- and Upper-Middle-Class Parenting

  • These parents tend to be able to satisfy children's needs and desires.

  • Usually older, fewer children, and less anxiety regarding parenting skills compared to other classes.

  • Emphasize a “concerted cultivation” model involving praise, educational engagement, and high expectations.

  • Seek information from professional sources and engage their children in participative discussions.

Hyperparenting

  • An over-involved style of parenting characterized by excessive meddling in children's lives.

  • Can strip away childhood independence and create a sense of entitlement.

Working-Class Parenting

  • May view highly involved parenting as producing demanding children.

  • Prefer a natural growth model focusing on obedience and allowing children’s abilities to unfold without excessive interference.

Low-Income and Poverty-Level Parenting

  • Commonly employed in minimum wage jobs with unpredictable hours.

  • Struggle to provide basic necessities, leading to emotional hardship during childhood, which affects adult psychological well-being.

Homeless Families

  • Families with children represent the fastest-growing demographic within the homeless population.

  • Experiencing shelter regulations can compound family stress and anxiety.

Parenting and Diversity

Overview of Diversity Impact

  • Significant overlap exists among socioeconomic classes and racial/ethnic categories.

  • Notable ethnic diversity within these classifications challenges monolithic viewpoints.

Same-Sex Parents

  • Comparable upbringing and adjustment to children in heterosexual families.

  • Children may encounter stereotypes and discrimination, which can affect mental health but may be alleviated by strong friendships.

African American Parents

  • Share similar aspirations and behaviors as parents within similar socioeconomic classes but are often more aware of racial considerations in education.

  • Higher likelihood of using spanking as a disciplinary measure, even when controlling for SES.

Native American Parents

  • Adopt a less authoritative, more permissive style, emphasizing autonomy.

  • Families often maintain extensive kinship ties and unity, resisting full assimilation into mainstream culture.

Hispanic Parents

  • Operate on a hierarchical parenting model that blends emotional support with expectations of respect for authority.

  • Family cohesion is referred to as “familismo,” which helps mitigate economic stress impact on parenting.

Asian American Parents

  • Use an authoritarian style that blends control with emotional warmth more than mainstream standards.

  • Parenting influenced by Confucian values, balancing discipline with affection to instill duty and moral obligation.

Multiracial Families

  • Approximately 14% of babies born in 2015 identified as multiracial.

  • Families that promote multicultural identities often report happier, well-adjusted children.

Transnational Families

  • Maintain transnational relationships due to emigration of family members.

  • Focus on preserving cultural practices and norms within the family.

Religious Minority Parents

  • Children raised within specific religious frameworks typically demonstrate better adjustment.

  • Spiritual Capital: Resources derived from faith and values beneficial to family life.

Raising Children in a Discriminatory Society

  • Parents must address the dual challenges of societal stereotypes and familial love.

  • Race Socialization involves fostering cultural pride and preparing children to confront discrimination.

Grandparents as Parents

  • Over 3.6 million children live in households with grandparents.

  • Grandfamilies: Families where grandparents are the primary caregivers.

  • The legal status of grandparents in child-raising can be complex when parental rights are not formally relinquished.

Facts about Families: Foster Parenting

  • Approximately 443,000 children are in foster care in the U.S., a number that might rise due to a shortage of foster parents.

  • 74% of foster care occurs in licensed private homes, usually for an average of two years.

  • Foster parents are seen as functional alternatives to biological parents, filling vital caregiving roles.

Parenting Young Adult Children

  • Parent-adult child relationships are intricate, often with parents from all socioeconomic backgrounds aiding their young adult children.

  • The journey to independence has become more challenging; many boomerang back home post-college or divorce.

  • Establishing clear agreements about living together can improve these relationships.

Toward Better Parenting

Keys to Optimal Parenting

  • Involves supportive communication, active involvement in children's lives, and adequate economic resources.

  • Private safety nets can enhance parenting effectiveness.

  • Workplace policies should encourage a healthy work-family balance, complemented by safe neighborhoods.

  • Societal policies that support all parents contribute to better outcomes in child-rearing and family well-being.