Goldman

MARRIAGE AND LOVE BY EMMA GOLDMAN

INTRODUCTION

  • Author: Emma Goldman

  • Context: Written in 1914, the essay addresses the misconceptions surrounding marriage and love.

MARRIAGE AND LOVE: SYNONYMS OR ANTAGONISTS?

  • Popular Notion: Marriage and love are often considered synonymous, arising from similar motives and fulfilling the same human needs.

  • Goldman's Stance: This notion is based on superstition, not facts; marriage and love are fundamentally different and antagonistic.

  • Love in Marriage:

    • Some marriages arise from love, but it is argued that love does not necessitate marriage and can exist independently of it.

    • The belief that love emerges from marriage is incorrect; instances of love developing post-marriage are described as mere adjustments to a situation.

ECONOMIC ASPECTS OF MARRIAGE

  • Marriage as Economic Arrangement:

    • Marriage is viewed primarily as an economic contract or insurance pact, offering security at the cost of personal freedom and identity.

    • Gender Differences:

    • Women pay a higher premium: their name, privacy, self-respect, and life, creating lifelong dependency.

    • While men also bear costs, the institution affects women more profoundly by limiting their opportunities.

MARRIAGE AS A FAILURE

  • Statistics on Divorce:

    • 1 in 12 marriages ends in divorce.

    • Between 1870 and the time of writing, the divorce rate rose from 28 to 73 per 100,000 population.

    • Adultery as a cause for divorce increased by 270.8% since 1867, and desertion rose by 369.8%.

  • Cultural Perspectives:

    • Literary references highlight the inadequacies of marriage as a source of happiness and fulfillment.

ENVIRONMENT AND SOCIAL CUSTOMS

  • Differences in Life Experiences of the Sexes:

    • Edward Carpenter emphasizes the lifelong institutional separation between the two sexes, leading to persistent ignorance and misunderstanding.

    • Marriage fails to provide a platform for genuine connection and respect, resulting in doomed unions.

  • Ibsen's Perspective:

    • Uses the character Nora to illustrate that many women only discover they live with strangers after years of marriage.

WOMEN'S ROLE AND IGNORANCE

  • Preparation for Marriage:

    • Women are often conditioned from childhood to view marriage as their ultimate purpose, inhibiting their understanding of marriage and sexuality.

    • Social expectations restrict women's knowledge about their own bodies and sexual functions.

  • Consequences of Ignorance:

    • A considerable share of marital distress stems from sexual ignorance, seen as an exalted virtue in women.

SOCIAL PERCEPTIONS AND REALITIES

  • Change in Women's Economic Conditions:

    • Six million women work, demonstrating economic independence but often view it as temporary, prioritizing marriage.

    • Marriage constrains women, reducing them to parasites in a home defined by the husband.

  • Trapped Existence:

    • The oppressive nature of marriage is likened to economic oppression, with no viable escape for many women after years in marital roles.

MARRIAGE'S IMPACT ON MOTHERHOOD AND CHILDREN

  • Illusion of Protection:

    • Marriage is often purported to protect children, yet numerous children end up neglected and orphaned.

  • Critique of Institutional Power:

    • The law offers a façade of justice but fails to address the root issues affecting families and child welfare.

THE NATURE OF LOVE

  • Definition of Love:

    • Love is termed as the quintessential, powerful force that defies societal norms and cannot be commodified or controlled.

    • Love is portrayed as a free, abundant force; marriage is deemed incapable of nurturing such a life-giving energy.

  • Real Love Versus Institutional Love:

    • Institutions of marriage are criticized for inhibiting genuine, passionate, and creative expressions of love.

THE FUTURE OF LOVE AND MARRIAGE

  • Advocacy for Freedom in Love:

    • True companionship and unity will emerge from love, not marriage. Free love is posited as essential for genuine relationships.

    • A vision is presented where love transcends the constraints of marriage, promoting a new understanding of human relationships.

CONCLUSION

  • The Importance of Love vs. Marriage:

    • Goldman predicts a future where love, in its pure and free form, will replace traditional marriage as the foundation for relationships and family. This vision emphasizes the need for authentic human connection over institutionalized bonds that restrict individual potential.