Chapter 7

Similarities of Family Rituals and Routines

  • Both are inherently relational processes that involve more than one member of the family

  • Both have behavioral manifestations. In other words, something is done

  • Rituals and routines are repeated (not a one-time occurrence, though rituals can be rare)

  • Both remain consistent over time, but are also subject to change

Common (Not Comprehensive) Rituals

  • Funerals

  • Birthdays

  • Weddings

  • Quinceanera

  • Bar mitzvah

  • Christenings

  • Holiday celebration

  • Passover, Easgter, Eid al-Fitr

Rituals and Routines and Family Wellbeing

  • Creating Healthy Emotional Ties

    • Families often bond over rituals and routines

  • Membership Changes

    • Rituals help commemorate times of members coming into (or out of) a family

  • Healing

    • Families often use rituals to find comfort and routines to provide a sense of sameness

  • Identity Definition and Redefinition

    • Families often use rituals to create a sense of identity and reinforce them through routines

  • Rites of Passage

    • Rituals help commemorate some change in life stage, often from childhood to adulthood

  • Provide Meaning

    • Rituals and routines can help families find meaning in major and minor family events

  • Provide Predictability

    • Predictability in the short term and in the long term can help family members (especially kids) have a sense of

Goals, Form, and Content of Rituals and Routines

  • What is the goal of a ritual or routine?

    • The goals of a bedtime routine might be to calm down, be hygienic, and keep a sense of family time

    • The goal of a funeral may be to have a place for family members to help each other heal and feel less lonely

  • What is the form of a ritual or routine?

    • How important is it for the family Thanksgiving to have the format each year?

    • How important is it for kids to brush teeth and then change into pajamas and then brush teeth?

    • The form of a ritual includes how open vs. closed it is (ex., flexible or rigid, none are completely open or completely closed), how much time and space it takes, and how much repetition is involved

  • What is the content of a ritual or routine?

    • Behaviors like letting go (funerals, weddings, coming-of-age, etc.), giving and receiving, documenting

    • What is the symbolism of a ritual or routine?

    • What emotions go with a ritual or routine?