stag 6

Course Information

  • Course Code: GENG-1101

  • Course Title: Engineering 1

  • Institution: University of Windsor

Class Agenda

  • Midterm Exam

  • Writing Technical Sentences

  • Editing for Conciseness

  • Editing for Clarity

  • Crafting Technical Paragraphs

  • NOTE: Tips for revision are implicit in these slides.

Midterm Exam Details

  • Date: Thursday, October 23

  • Time: 11:30 AM

  • Items to Bring: Student ID card and a pencil.

Writing Technical Sentences

  • Objective: Employ strategies to enhance clarity and conciseness in writing.

Strategies for Writing Technical Sentences

1. Find the Real Subject

  • Definition: The subject of a sentence refers to:

    • The topic of the sentence.

    • The main noun (or pronoun) that performs the main action.

  • Best Practice: Sentences work best when the topic and the main noun align.

2. Be Direct as Possible

  • Example of Clarity Improvement:

    • Original: "The drainage of runoff should be directed onto pervious ground."

    • Revised: "Runoff should be directed onto pervious ground."

3. Avoid Meaningless Sentence Starts

  • Example of Improvement:

    • Original: "There are eight hoisting points that need to be reinforced."

    • Revised: "Eight hoisting points need to be reinforced."

4. Use Active Voice

  • Passive Voice Example:

    • "It was done by her."

    • "The data were analyzed, and the findings were discussed."

  • Active Voice Example:

    • "She did it."

    • "The team analyzed the data and discussed the findings."

  • Note: Active voice emphasizes responsibility; passive voice suggests detachment.

5. Address the Reader Directly

  • Example of Direct Address Improvement:

    • Original: "One must read all safety rules and instructions before beginning work."

    • Revised: "Read all safety rules and instructions before you begin work."

6. Find the Real Verb

  • Avoid Nominalizations:

    • Original: "My recommendation is for a larger budget."

    • Revised: "I recommend a larger budget."

  • List of Common Verbs to Use Instead of Nominalizations:

    • "Gave assistance to" becomes "Assisted…"

    • "Performed an inspection of" becomes "Inspected…"

    • "Had a discussion about" becomes "Discussed…"

Editing for Conciseness

  • Objective: Strengthen readability by eliminating unnecessary words and phrases.

Techniques for Editing for Conciseness

Avoid Wordy Expressions

  • Examples of concise terms:

    • "At a rapid rate" → "rapidly"

    • "In close proximity to" → "near"

    • "Due to the fact that" → "because"

Avoid Fillers

  • Clutter Words:

    • Avoid using excessively vague words like "very," "quite," "actually."

  • Qualifiers:

    • Avoid phrases such as "I think," "it seems," "in my opinion."

  • Prefaces to Statements:

    • Avoid phrases like "As far as I am concerned," or "The purpose of this is."

Avoid Redundancy and Repetition

  • Definition:

    • Redundant expressions repeat the same idea in different words.

    • Repetitions repeat the same idea using the same words.

  • Example of Redundancy:

    • "The collapse of the structure was a terrible tragedy."

  • Example of Repetition:

    • "The regrind will completely eliminate the imbalance in the impeller."

Editing for Clarity

  • Objective: Enhance the reader's understanding through simplified language and structured presentation.

Techniques for Editing for Clarity

Break Up Chains of Nouns

  • Example:

    • Original: "Be sure to leave enough time for today’s training session participant evaluation."

    • Revised: Split complex noun chains into clearer structures.

Use Simple Language

  • Example of Simplified Language:

    • Original: "We are in receipt of your recent correspondence indicating your interest in securing the advertised position."

    • Revised: "Your application for the advertised position has been forwarded to our personnel office."

Avoid Jargon

  • Tip: Use jargon only when appropriate for the audience.

  • Example of Annoying Jargon:

    • "We need to interface about that."

    • Revised: "We need to discuss that."

Crafting Technical Paragraphs

Key Principles for Effective Technical Paragraphs

1. Keep Paragraphs Short

  • Guideline: Ideal paragraphs should average no more than 7 lines.

  • One-sentence paragraphs are acceptable.

2. Begin with a Topic Sentence

  • Definition: The topic sentence summarizes the main point of the paragraph, ensuring quicker comprehension for the reader.

  • Example of Topic Sentence:

    • "To optimize a building for passive solar thermal control, the first consideration is the building’s orientation on the site."

3. Ensure Paragraph Unity

  • Guideline: Keep relevant information in the same paragraph; unrelated information belongs elsewhere.

4. Ensure Paragraph Completeness

  • Guideline: Provide all information necessary for understanding each idea presented in the paragraph.

5. Ensure Cohesion and Coherence

  • Definition: Cohesion links sentences grammatically and contextually; coherence ensures readability.

  • Technique: Use clear transitions and links between ideas.

6. Vary Sentence Length

  • Guideline: Mix short, medium, and long sentences to enhance readability and flow.

Additional Notes

Upcoming Tutorials

  • Date: Wednesday after Reading Week

  • Activity: Revising and editing activity

  • Requirement: Bring a hard copy of the first draft of your section of the final report.