Chapter 4 - Working with Single-Parent & Blended Families

Single Parent Families

• headed by a sole parent responsible for taking care of herself or
  himself and a child or children

  • include those created as a result of divorce, death, abandonment, unwed pregnancy, imprisonment, adoption, and uncontrollable circumstances, such as a military assignment

• differ in regard to dynamics and vary in their interactions depending on the number of people within the family unit, the background and resources of the members, and the stage of the individuals and family life cycle

• history

  • before, most single-parent families created by death or desertion of spouse

  • 1950s - new trend, percentage created by divorce exceeded those created by death

  • 1970 - about 1/10 families were headed by a single parent, usually mother

  • 1980s - trend for unmarried women to bear and raise children by themselves, has since decreased

• more than half a million children are born to unpartnered parents each year

Types of Single-Parent Families

• result of divorce

  • ~1 million divorces each year in the US, 1/5 adults have been divorced

  • assist them in establishing a functional binuclear family, which in turn continues with the most important task of the family, namely, the socialization of their children

  • In the United States two of every three divorces are now initiated by women

  • when single-parent families are created as a result
    of divorce, two subunits are formed (except in some cases of joint custody arrangements)

    • the custodial parent, with whom the child resides, and his or her interactions
      with the former spouse and child/children.

    • other subunit includes the noncustodial parent and his or her relationships with the former spouse and child/children

    • both parents have the same rights in regard to the child/children involved unless there is a court order
      expressly stating otherwise

  • For custodial parents, stressors include rebuilding financial resources and social networks, with the most stressful time for these families being during the first 3 years

    • rewarding - renewed sense of confidence

  • For the noncustodial parent, stressors include finding ways to continue to be involved with one’s children as a parent and the rebuilding of social networks

    • When successful, experience rewards such as devising creative problem-solving methods and gaining renewed self-confidence

Result of Death

• reestablishment of the surviving parent’s life and the restructuring of the family are major tasks

• family’s development may involve three stages

  • mourning stage

    • takes time, can’t be forced

    • vital for surviving family members to release both positive & negative feelings about deceased

  • readjustment

    • involves learning to do new tasks, dropping old tasks, and/or reassigning duties previously done by the former spouse to other members of the family

  • renewal & accomplishment

    • family members, and the family as a whole, can concentrate on finding and engaging in new growth opportunities

    • may not be achieved but results in new collective and individual identities and relationships

By Choice

• actions associated with intent

  • purposefulness in conceiving a child out of wedlock

  • deciding to carry a child to term after accidentally becoming pregnant out of wedlock

  • adopting a child as a single adult.

• sometimes considered fragile

• unique - have time to prepare before child arrives, usually clear to parent that there will be no other support

Result of Temporary Circumstances

• examples - deployed in a war or a undergoing a job change

• involves one parent making an immediate move while the family stays behind - usually last from a few weeks to, in extreme cases, several years

• Family members face stress because of the suddenness
  and often the seriousness of the situation that separates the parent from the family

• military family

  • since the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq began, approximately 2 million children have been affected by military deployments

  • Parental deployment can affect children’s psychological, behavioral, and physical well-being and may result in behavioral problems

  • parent–child relationship is also adversely impacted in many cases because of parental absence

Strengths & Challenges Connected with Single-Parent Families

Single-parent families often have the following strengths:

• They are more democratic.

• They have flexible roles and rules.

• The children mature and take responsibility earlier.

• They are creative in locating needed resources

• Single-parent families often face the following challenges:

  • They have unclear or undefined boundaries and roles.

  • Their children, especially boys, may not achieve to the same extent as children from other types of families. This is particularly true if the single-parent family is a result of divorce.

  • The children contend with identity confusion.

  • The children may have difficulty relating to the opposite gender

  • They live in or near the poverty level.

  • They must cope with depression and other negative emotional residue.

Approaches for Working with Single-Parent Families

• Prevention work such as premarital counseling helps single-parent families make better adjustments when a spouse is away, especially temporarily.

• Communication methods (e.g., family council).

• Social support groups (e.g., Parents Without
  Partners).

• Financial counseling services.

• Bibliotherapy.

Role of the Therapist

• The role of the family therapist includes dealing with
  boundaries, hierarchies, and engagement/detachment.

• Family therapists must lay aside personal biases/
  prejudices.

• Family therapists must deal with emotional volatility
  of the family.

• Family therapists must help foster inner resources
  and support groups for family members.

Process & Outcome

• If single-parent family therapy is successful, families
  should accomplish the following:

  • Manifest more competence in dealing with the
    external environment and be more confident
    interpersonally and intrapersonally.

  • Have clear and functional boundaries.

  • Make better financial and remarriage
    decisions.

  • Utilize their and community resources more
    fully.

Blended Families

• consists of two adults and stepchildren, adoptive children, or foster children

• most prevalent among European Americans, although they are found among all cultural groups

• Historically, blended families have always been part of American family life

• The growth of blended families is a major reason that the perception of what is “normal” in family life has changed.

• One of the problems of helping blended families is that there is no terminology to discuss the complex dynamics within them.

Forming Blended Families

• A blended family is most commonly formed when a person from a previous marriage remarries someone who is single or previously married. One or both of the marriage partners comes into this arrangement with children

• Prior to the 1950s, death was the most frequent reason for the ending of a marriage. Rituals helped survivors deal with death. Now divorce is the main means by which such families are formed, and there are few rituals for dealing with this phenomenon.

• About 1 million divorces occur each year. About two thirds of divorces occur in the first 10 years of marriage. Most who divorce eventually remarry. Ethnic groups experience divorce differently. After
  divorce, contact between a child and a noncustodial parent, especially child/father contact, frequently declines

Dynamics Associated with Blended Families

• Blended families are born out of loss and hope.

• Most children and adults who become part of a blended family can have a good experience, but first they must resolve past experiences and modify unrealistic fantasies.

• Blended families have structures that both help and inhibit bonding and alliances. These structures are different from those of nuclear families.

• Many blended families are binuclear and involve the interrelating of two or more households.

• Blended families face situational and developmental tasks that are different from those of other families. They must resolve the past, alleviate fears, deal with trust, be realistic, and become psychologically/physically attached

• The ages and stages of children and parents influence how many issues blended families face and how they are resolved.

• The members of a blended family must work through the feelings associated with previous relationships and family structures.

• Integrating members into blended families is difficult and takes at least 2 years. Some relationships, such as that between children and stepfathers, are problematic

Strengths & Challenges Connected with Blended Families

• Assets blended family members bring to each other include the following:

  • Different life experiences.

  • Kin and quasi-kin networks.

  • Creativity and innovation.

  • Appreciation and respect for differences in living styles.

  • The ability to make the most of situations and model appropriate coping strategies for other families

• Challenges that blended families must deal with include the following

  • The loss of an important member (or members) of the former family

  • The establishment of a workable family hierarchy.

  • Boundary difficulties.

  • Unresolved emotions.

  • Economic concerns and financial difficulties

Approaches for Treating Blended Families

• Helping families recognize and deal appropriately with old loyalties and new ties

• Helping families become involved constructively with significant others, such as a former spouse or new children.

• Providing families with educational materials.

• Helping families to develop their own rituals and traditions.

Role of the Therapist

• Therapists who work with blended families wear many hats. They must help these families deal with separation, custody, and death issues rationally and psychologically.

• Therapists must help blended families arrange predictable and mutually satisfactory interactional patterns, including relinquishing personal myths, teaching communication skills, offering parent training, and providing a forum for the airing of common and unique concerns.

• In general, family therapists must work with a variety of internal and external issues that tend to unbalance blended families.

Process & Outcome

• Understand personal and systemic issues related to this arrangement.

• Be aware of subunits within their families and be able to be more tolerant and realistic with each other.

• Be able to find their place within these families and deal effectively with individual and family developmental issues.

• Understand the importance of integrating family members into a working system by creating unique family ways of operating and traditions.

• Be stronger internally and able to withstand negative portrayals of blended families in the media