Consent
Consent
- Definition - free, voluntary and informed agreement between people to participate in a sexual act. This agreement is only present when these people mutually and genuinely feel they want to engage in that sexual act and actively make sure their partner does too.
- relates to all sexual activities, such as sexual intercourse, touching someone in a sexual way, sharing sexual images, or online sexual activities.
Why is this topic important or relevant to young people?
- Young people are in their early and formative experiences of dating and relationships and are therefore at increased risk of experiencing or perpetrating sexual violence.
- The older we get the more common sexual and romantic relationships become, so it is important to get it right.
What are the main concerns or issues related to this topic?
- Not everyone can give sexual consent, even if they want to.
- can be hard to say no to sex if there’s an unequal power balance e.g. age, relationship to the other person, ability to fully understand what someone is asking us to do, their level of control in our lives
What are the potential risks or consequences associated with this topic?
- rape due to misunderstanding or miscommunication of consent or lack thereof
- Sexual violence – forced or coerced consent from someone possibly leading to sexual violence by significant other if constant refusal is vocalized by victim.
What are some common misconceptions or myths about this topic?
- If two people have had sex or intimate contact before, it’s always okay to have sex again.
- People who are playful, flirty, or wear revealing clothes are ‘asking for it’. It doesn’t matter whether you are attracted to them, or they are being flirty, this doesn’t equal consent!
- Taking part in smaller-scale intimacy like holding hands or a kiss means somebody consents to other sexual activities
- You don’t have to ask for consent every time, especially if you’re in a relationship.
- If a sexual or intimate encounter is judged to be in the category of just ‘hooking up’, or ‘not that serious, consent doesn’t have to be communicated.
- It’s too late sometimes to ask for consent or talk about it with someone.
How does this topic impact an individual's health?
- Both people feel happier and healthier knowing that their needs are respected and met in a consensual relationship
- Having a healthier relationship also leads to individual freedom
What are some strategies or methods for preventing or managing risks related to this topic?
Risk example | Management |
Misunderstanding in terms of when somebody is indicating their consent e.g., they might vocalize a ‘yes’, but their body language may say otherwise. | -Awareness between both participating persons that consent is freely given, reversible, informed, enthusiastic and specific. |
What if we’ve been drinking and we go back to their place? | -Alcohol and drugs can affect people’s judgement and ability to make informed decisions. -This may affect someone’s ability to consent, so the best way to manage this risk is to slow things down and wait till everybody is sober. |
One of you is unsure | -Everybody should feel safe, respected and in control of their own body. -Ask if they’re into it, and if they say no or seem uncertain, it is important to stop -Show that you respect that they don’t want to continue. |
One or both of you have a lack of education on the topic | -Advocate for education within your workplace or school on the topic -Speak to a parent, your GP, a counsellor, a teacher or other trusted adult |
How do cultural or societal factors influence attitudes and behaviors related to this topic?
- Sex as a taboo topic, making people unwilling to have real-life discussions about important topics such as consent, or even talk about sex at all, leading to an absence in shared societal understanding.
- Men or masculine figures seen as ‘dominant’ and getting the final say in conversations – this socially constructed stereotype then reflects back on society.
- Asking for consent will ‘ruin the mood’ – this leads to heavy reluctance to actually ask the question, especially in steamy situations where people have ‘already gone too far’.
What resources are available for individuals' seeking information or support regarding this topic?
- eSafety commissioner
- Kids helpline
Are there any laws or policies related to this topic? If so, what are they and how do they impact people?
- In NSW, the age of consent is 16. If you are 16 and above, you can legally have sex or take part in another sexual activity with another person who is 16 years or older as long as you both agree to it.
- However, even if a person is above the age of consent, it is a crime for a special carer of a young person (like a teacher, foster carer, stepparent, religious leader, custodial officer, doctor or other health professional that the person is a patient of) to have sex with the person while they are under 18.
- Sending a photo or video of a person doing a sexual act or showing their genital or anal region without their consent is image-based abuse, and it can be a crime.
- There are special laws that apply to sexting with someone who is under 18 – including sending and receiving images or videos of young people who are under 18 – even if it is consensual.
- The average age of consent is 16 years of age in the ACT, NT, VIC, WA, and is 17 years of age in TAS and SA.
What ongoing research or developments are happening in this area?
- Many states and territories are adopting or strengthening affirmative consent laws – e.g. NSW implemented reforms in 2022 that clarified consent provisions in the Crimes Act, including the clarification that consent is a free and voluntary agreement that should not be presumed.
- Comprehensive education in schools and in the workplace on consent and sexual health
- Numerous campaigns are in existence or in development nationally
- The Senate Legal and Constitutional Affairs Committee called for submissions to the Inquiry into current and proposed sexual consent laws in Australia in early 2023. It draws on the inconsistencies in sexual consent laws across Australian jurisdictions, the impacts of consent law on victims’ and survivors’ experiences of the criminal justice system, the impact of consent laws on consent education etc.
How can individuals advocate for better sexual health education and resources in their communities?
- Gather evidence and information about the sexual health needs and education of young people
- Create a coalition of others eager to engage in sexual health education and promotion with young people.
- Develop a vision for changing your organization, school, council or government’s approach to sexual health education
- Communicate the vision + Remove obstacles
- Create short-term wins that have immediate impact
- Build on the changes your organization makes to include better programs and interventions.
- Anchor sexual health priorities in your organization.
How does technology, social media, or the internet influence discussions and behaviors relate to this topic?
Positives | Negatives |
-increased awareness and education | -misuse of private images and information |
-facilitates online communities and support networks – may find individuals or groups of people that have been through the same stuff and are able to help you through something.
| -sharing images or personal thoughts online and having other people react to them may increase pressure and social comparison, not just by you, but by other people as well.
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| -anonymity – individuals are largely not held to account for their actions and may engage in behaviors they might not otherwise.
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| -Misinformation and manipulation |
How can individuals promote respect, consent, and have healthy relationships in the context of this topic?
- Consent is the baseline for sexual activity free of violence and coercion, and is fundamental to healthy, pleasurable sexual activity within or outside of relationships.
- Treating consent as an ongoing conversation in a long-term relationship can help to boost mutual trust, confidence and pleasure.
- Communication is key – having regular conversations about sex and intimacy can help people to get a better understanding of each other. Making sure you both feel comfortable is key – for example dialogue like ↓ is helpful.
· “Is this okay?”
· “Do you feel comfortable doing this?”
· “Am I hurting you?”
· “Do you want to stop?”
- Regardless of whether communication is non-verbal or not during sex or intimacy, there are important communications to be had. E.g. you want to feel able to express feelings, don’t feel shy or too embarrassed so say how far you’re willing to go, express the kind of sex you want, and if it’s not going as you like.
- You want to be in a position in your relationship where even if you really, really want to, if the other person is unsure, you’ll stop, and where it will be fine to change your mind if you’ve already started, which takes an awareness of what the other person is feeling.
- They’re not always going to consent verbally, so you need to be aware of body language too, like maybe they’re freezing up, turning away or holding their breath. If you suspect they’re going to feel bad afterwards, you should stop.
- If you’re not even thinking or caring about how they’re doing afterwards, that’s what you’re doing wrong.
- If I’m being pushy or using putdowns or fear tactics and forcing people to consent, that’s clearly wrong.
- The point is, you both feel good and happy to be there.