Interpersonal Communication and Emotional Intelligence — Comprehensive Chapter Notes

LO2 Learning Objectives

LO2.1: Describe the interpersonal communication process and barriers to effective communication.
LO2.2: Explain how emotional hijacking can hinder effective interpersonal communication.
LO2.3: Explain how self-awareness impacts the communication process.
LO2.4: Describe how self-management impacts the communication process.
LO2.5: Explain and evaluate the process of active listening.
LO2.6: Describe and demonstrate effective questions for enhancing listening and learning.
LO2.7: Explain strategies to sight-read the nonverbal communication of others.
LO2.8: Identify common communication preferences based on motivational values.
LO2.9: Explain how extroversion–introversion impacts interpersonal communication.
LO2.10: Explain the role of civility in effective interpersonal communication and the common types of incivility in the workplace.

Why this matters

Interpersonal skills top skills for career success: oral communication and listening are among the most valued by recruiters, more so than technical/analytical skills.
Quote from Linda Hudson on the need for people skills and realistic expectations; business education should emphasize the people-skill part of business.
Chapter provides an overview of the interpersonal communication process and emotional intelligence (EQ) as a foundation for effective interpersonal communication.

Interpersonal communication process (Figure 2.1)

Definition: the sending and receiving of verbal and nonverbal messages between two or more people; simultaneous exchange of messages to share and negotiate meaning.
Encoding: converting meaning into messages (words + nonverbal signals).
Decoding: interpreting messages from others into meaning.
Mutual encoding/decoding happens in real time; nonverbal communication is often constant in face-to-face interactions.
Shared meaning: goal where all parties attain the same understanding of ideas, thoughts, and feelings.
Barriers to shared meaning: external noise, internal noise, and lifetime experience filters.
Communication model basics: Encode ➜ Send ➜ Medium ➜ Receive ➜ Decode; each person encodes and decodes; feedback loops exist through ongoing interaction.

Noise types in the interpersonal process

Four types of noise distort or interrupt messages:
- Physical noise: external sounds, poor signal quality, or physical barriers; examples include loud sounds, blurry video feeds, or bad phone connections. ext{Physical noise}.
- Physiological noise: physiological factors affecting sending/receiving (hearing problems, illness, memory issues). ext{Physiological noise}.
- Semantic noise: different meanings attached to same words/phrases; e.g., varying profit-margin interpretations (e.g., 10% vs 20–30%). ext{Semantic noise}.
- Psychological noise: attitudes, ideas, and emotions that affect perception during the interaction (stereotypes, mood, preconceptions). ext{Psychological noise}.
Filter of lifetime experiences: each communicator’s memory, values, expectations, and attitudes bias encoding/decoding; shared background reduces noise; divergent backgrounds increase it.

Illustrative short conversation: Jeff and Latisha (Figure 2.2 scenario)

Key dynamics: two well-meaning actors, each with good intentions, may still fail to achieve shared meaning due to noise and filters.
Encoding/decoding examples:
- Jeff encodes: “Thanks for your great work; we must abandon the policy project due to budget cuts.”
- Latisha decodes: “He doesn’t care about parental-leave policies; it’s an excuse.”
Noise and filters show up as physical (weather report on radio), psychological (fear about job security), semantic (wording like “surviving” interpreted differently), and lifetime-experience filters (Latisha’s prior disappointments with supervisors).
Outcome: illustrates how emotional states and past experiences can lead to misinterpretation and conflict even when both parties are trying to help.

Emotional hijacking (LO2.2)

Definition: emotions take over and control behavior, bypassing rational thought; limbic system overload leads to reactive, nonanalytical responses.
Why it matters: emotional hijacking undermines clarity, accuracy, and relationship maintenance in business conversations.
Brain basis: signals first pass through the limbic system (emotional center) before the rational cortex; rational processing occurs after emotional arousal.
Practical implications: rash statements, misrepresentations, anger, withdrawal, or disengagement can persist long after emotions subside.
In the Jeff–Latisha case, both are at risk of emotional hijacking due to perceived threats (trust concerns, budget pressure).

Emotional intelligence (EQ) and its four domains (self-awareness, self-management, empathy, relationship management)

EQ as a predictor of workplace performance: high-EQ individuals tend to perform better in reasoning, leadership, and change management; EQ is often cited as a key predictor of workplace outcomes.
Four domains (levels and implications):
- Self-awareness: accurate identification of own emotions as they occur; understanding how emotions affect thoughts/behavior. Statistics: many people misidentify emotions; e.g., only about 36\% can accurately identify emotions as they occur; in a five-year workplace study, 95\% think they are self-aware but only 10-15\% actually are.
- Self-management: using awareness of emotions to stay flexible and direct behavior toward goals; includes managing triggers and avoiding knee-jerk reactions; difference between optimism vs pessimism affects long-term outcomes (e.g., optimism correlates with better performance and lower quit rates in some contexts).
- Empathy: ability to accurately read others’ emotions and perspectives; involves active listening and sight-reading nonverbal signals; includes a desire to help others develop in their work.
- Relationship management: using awareness of emotions to manage interactions and build productive relationships; includes adapting communication to others’ styles, civility, and conflict management.
Practical takeaway: EQ enhances leadership, collaboration, and change management; organizations increasingly value EQ in employees.

Self-awareness (detailed)

Definition: ongoing attention to internal states and their impacts on communication; high self-awareness allows recognition of triggers and patterns.
Key data:
- 36% can accurately identify emotions as they occur; 95% think they are self-aware, but only 10–15% actually are. ext{(statistical estimates)}
Triggers: events that elicit strong emotional responses; recognizing triggers helps avoid hijacking.
Examples: in Jeff–Latisha case, self-awareness would let Jeff admit feeling distrust and avoid blaming; Latisha could recognize past disappointments shaping her interpretations.
Table 2.1 contrasts low vs high self-awareness in the case; high self-awareness supports more constructive reactions.
Strategies to improve self-awareness (summarized): practice reflection, mindfulness, journaling, and seeking feedback; connect current feelings to past experiences to build wisdom (the idea of “learning from life experiences”).

Self-management

Definition: the ability to use awareness of emotions to stay flexible and direct behavior toward goals; hold off on current urges to meet long-term intentions.
Key points:
- Strong self-management helps channel emotions constructively; the impacts of anger can persist hours to days; cooling-down strategies are crucial (e.g., stepping away, deep breathing, walking, relaxing activities).
- “Mitigating information”: offering favorable explanations for others’ behavior to reduce anger; helps short-circuit anger and promote constructive dialogue.
- Optimism vs pessimism: optimism correlates with better outcomes (e.g., higher sales performance in some studies) than pessimism; planning actions post-failure is more effective among optimists.
Table 2.3 (low vs high self-management) provides concrete examples of thought patterns and mitigating information.

Empathy

Definition: the ability to understand others’ feelings, perspectives, and needs; a core element of effective interpersonal relationships.
Role in listening and nonverbal reading: links to active listening and sight-reading techniques; empathy drives more accurate perspective-taking and problem-solving in teams.

Active listening (LO2.5)

Active listening is a “state of mind” that involves willingness and ability to hear and understand; it creates common ground and opens up possibilities.
Six skills (Hoppe’s model):
1) Paying attention
2) Holding judgment
3) Reflecting
4) Clarifying
5) Summarizing
6) Sharing
Paying attention: give full attention, observe nonverbal cues, avoid distractions, allow silence, use eye contact, lean in; be present.
Holding judgment: adopt a learner mindset; avoid pre-judgments; create a safe space for discussion; disagreement can be healthy if handled constructively.
Reflecting: paraphrase to confirm understanding; examples include statements like “It sounds like you think…” or “Let me make sure I understand…”
Clarifying: ask open-ended, learner-oriented questions to uncover meaning (e.g., “What are your thoughts on…?”, “Could you explain how…?”).
Summarizing: restate major themes to confirm shared understanding (e.g., “So, your main concern is…”).
Sharing: express your own perspective while remaining open to others’ input; a balanced dialogue improves mutual understanding.
Barriers to effective listening (common): lack of time, lack of patience, image of leadership, over-reliance on technology, fear of bad news.
Nonlistening behaviors (Figure 2.4): defensiveness, “me too” responses, giving premature or heavy advice, and judging; these disrupt listening and hinder dialogue.

Effective questions (LO2.6)

Importance: asking the right questions enhances learning and shared understanding; the learner mind-set yields more productive conversations.
Types of questions (Table 2.10):
- Rapport-building questions: build bonds (e.g., about current work, conferences).
- Funnel questions: start broad, move to specifics; break a problem into parts.
- Probing questions: explore root causes from multiple angles (e.g., Five Whys approach at Toyota; five iterations of questions).
- Solution-oriented questions: focus on action, what to do next, and jointly developed options.
Types of counterproductive questions (Table 2.11): leading questions, disguised statements, cross-examination; these tend to close down learning.
Best practice: open-ended questions that invite exploration; combine with careful listening to allow multiple perspectives and solutions.
Perspective-getting and note-taking (Table 2.12–2.13): note-taking helps capture others’ views and test hypotheses; margin notes can capture reactions and questions; this supports better perspective-taking.

Sight-reading nonverbal communication (LO2.7)

Nonverbal cues convey 60–80% of meaning in face-to-face interactions; cues include gestures, expressions, tone, and eye behavior.
Key authority: David Givens and the concept of sight-reading as intelligent observation of nonverbal signals to infer intentions and moods.
Guidelines for sight-reading:
- Practice daily (e.g., 15 minutes of observation of nonverbal signals).
- Look for congruence between verbal and nonverbal signals; noncongruence is particularly informative.
- Read cues in clusters, not in isolation; interpret combinations of signals rather than single signals.
- Read signals in context; situational factors matter for interpretation (e.g., pointing may indicate blame vs asking for input depending on context).
Common cues discussed:
- Eye behavior: duration of gaze, blinking rate, CLEM (rapid sideways glances) vs longer glances; visual cutoff (looking away) signals disapproval or discomfort.
- Smiles and nods: generally positive signals, but must be genuine; insincere smiles can undermine trust.
- Hands and arms: handshake duration (2–3 seconds), palm orientation, openness of gestures; palms-down gestures can appear domineering; extended hands signal openness; self-touching indicates anxiety or distress; position of hands on hips can signal defensiveness.
- Touch: brief touch can increase rapport and honesty; in North American culture, touch is less common; caution with force/duration.
- Grooming of hands affects interpretation of gestures; poorly groomed hands can hinder interpretation.
Practical note: handshakes convey equality when the palm is vertical; a downward palm can signal dominance. See Table discussions and figures for context.

Relationship management (LO2.8)

Definition: using emotional awareness to manage interactions successfully; includes adapting communication to others’ styles and maintaining civility.
Adapting communication to others’ preferred styles based on Motivational Value Systems (MVS) and extroversion–introversion differences.
Motivational Value Systems (MVSS)
- Three primary motives:
- Blues (Altruistic and Nurturing): protect others, growth, welfare; focus on open, friendly environments; ~30% of managers strongly aligned with blue motivations.
- Reds (Assertive and Directing): task accomplishment, efficient use of resources; fast-moving, competitive; ~46% strongly red.
- Greens (Analytical and Autonomizing): ensure things are well thought out, order, self-reliance; ~16% strongly green.
- Hubs: flexible and coherent; balanced mix of all MVSS; ~43% are hubs.
- Strengths/overdone strengths: Blues (caring, helpful); Reds (confident, directing); Greens (analytical, methodical); Hubs (consensus-building).
- Words/phrases that resonate with MVSS (Table 2.13): Blues use terms like care, help; Reds use terms like lead, compete; Greens use think, analyze; Hubs use brainstorm, decide together.
- Differences in communication preferences: MVSS influence what people find rewarding, triggers of conflict, and preferred work environments (Table 2.12).
Interplay with leadership styles: examples show Hub–Green and Red–Blue interactions where styles meet and clash; understanding MVSS helps tailor communication and collaboration.

Extroversion–Introversion and communication (LO2.9)

Differences in energy sources and work preferences:
- Introverts: energy from internal thoughts; quieter, reserved, thoughtful; may be uncomfortable with unfamiliar people/situations; prefer one-to-one or small group discussions; slower to speak up; prefer working alone.
- Extroverts: energy from external interactions; outspoken, charismatic; prefer large group conversations and social settings; may think aloud to refine ideas; tend to engage readily in meetings and public speaking.
Research context: popularized by Susan Cain in Quiet; the notion of the “Extroversion Ideal” in workplaces; historically, extroverts seen as better leaders, though recent research shows introverts can be effective leaders too.
Practical guidance (Tables 2.14–2.15): strengths of introverts vs extroverts; ways introverts can collaborate with extroverts and vice versa (e.g., give introverts prep time, allow longer silences, shorten emails for extroverts; allow extroverts to lead aspects that require rapid action).
Overall takeaway: organizations should integrate both styles to maximize team performance.

Technology tips: digital note-taking

Note-taking methods: handwriting often improves retention; digital note-taking via stylus/keyboard is possible with apps like Evernote, Bear, GoodNotes, OneNote, Nebo, etc.
Task for students/workers: compare two digital note-taking apps, describe experiences, identify helpful features and gaps, and plan strategies to improve digital note-taking.

Civility and incivility in the workplace (LO2.10)

Civility definition: show of respect for dignity and worth of others; supports honest, open, respectful dialogue; essential for constructive conflict management.
Incivility consequences: erodes culture, lowers productivity, motivation, creativity, engagement, job satisfaction, loyalty, and leadership impact; costly for organizations (e.g., Cisco estimated $71 million annual loss due to incivility).
Time cost of incivility: executives spend ~7 weeks per year managing fallout of disputes; incivility reduces performance and collaboration.
Types and causes of workplace incivility (Table 2.16): broad categories including ignoring others, not greeting, withholding information, not inviting participation, not acknowledging presence, interrupting, bossy tone, blaming others, vague feedback, disrespecting time/privacy, condescension, attacks on dignity, inappropriate jokes, gossip, etc.
Dignity and worth: attacks on identity or dignity are among the most serious forms of incivility; culture/cultural differences influence perceptions of incivility.
Coping and prevention:
- Gossip and complaining: name it as gossip, focus on solutions, avoid blaming; direct conversations with the person involved when possible; hold yourself accountable.
- Responding to complaints: reserve judgment, offer counter-narratives, focus on solutions.
Forni’s eight civility guiding principles (From The Civility Solution):
1) Slow down and be present.
2) Listen to empathy.
3) Keep a positive attitude.
4) Respect others and validate them.
5) Disagree graciously; avoid arguing.
6) Get to know people around you.
7) Pay attention to small things.
8) Ask, don’t tell.
Practicing civility helps in high-pressure environments and leadership: humanize work, invest in relationships, and promote constructive conversations.

Ideas in Action: Building relationships while asserting oneself (Debby Soo, OpenTable)

People-first mindset: prioritize people’s fulfillment, empowerment, and value at work.
Self-awareness and humility: leaders should acknowledge weaknesses and work on them openly; feedback culture matters.
Encourage speaking up: early-career professionals should feel safe to raise questions and push for opportunities; tact and diplomacy are essential.
Distinction between good leaders and good managers: leaders focus on relationships, vision, and long-term growth; managers emphasize processes, efficiency, and day-to-day operations. Both require high emotional intelligence and civility to navigate interpersonal dynamics.

Chapter takeaways (summary of LO2 objectives)

Interpersonal communication process and barriers: encoding/decoding, medium, noise, filters; shared meaning as a goal.
Emotional hijacking: limbic system dominates in high-emotion moments; consequences for communication quality.
Self-awareness and self-management: foundations for effective communication; recognizing triggers and managing impulses.
Active listening: six skills and six-step model; barriers and nonlistening behaviors; importance of questions and perspective-taking.
Nonverbal reading and sight-reading: importance of congruence, context, and clusters of signals; understanding eye behavior, facial expressions, hand gestures, touch, and grooming signals.
Relationship management and MVSS: blues, reds, greens, hubs; adaption to others’ styles improves communication; words/phrases that resonate with each style.
Introversion vs extroversion: strengths and collaboration strategies to leverage both groups in teams; avoiding a one-size-fits-all approach.
Civility and incivility: definitions, real-world costs, strategies to maintain civility, and eight guiding principles for civil behavior.
Practical applications: case studies and discussion prompts included (e.g., the Eastmond Networking budget-cut case, “Five Whys” root-cause technique, and the ongoing theme of emotional intelligence in leadership and teamwork).

Key terms (selected definitions)

active listening: a state of mind and set of behaviors that demonstrate willingness to hear, understand, and connect with others.
blue MVS, red MVS, green MVS, hub: motivational value system profiles used to understand communication preferences.
CLEM: an eye-tracking cue; rapid sideways eye movement used as a nonverbal signal.
decodING/encoding: processes of interpreting and producing messages.
emotional hijacking: emotional responses override rational processing, often triggered by perceived threats.
emotional intelligence (EQ): the ability to identify, understand, manage, and leverage emotions in oneself and others.
noise (physical, physiological, semantic, psychological): interruptions or distortions of messages.
perspective-getting: accurately understanding others’ views; often aided by note-taking.
sight-reading: reading nonverbal cues to infer intent and mood.
relationship management: skills used to manage interactions and maintain productive workplace relationships.
civility: respectful, constructive communication that validates others’ dignity.
incivility: rude or disrespectful behaviors that degrade workplace climate.

Discussion/Practice prompts (selected)

Chapter review questions (LO2.1–LO2.10): identify barriers to shared meaning; analyze semantic noise; argue for EQ importance in logical tasks; list and describe the four EQ domains and three related competencies per domain; justify strategies to develop EQ.
Ideas in Action: Debby Soo’s approach to leadership and communication; discuss benefits and risks of sharing weaknesses publicly; describe how a people-first mindset translates to everyday leadership.
Personal reflection/assessment prompts (extended): self-assessment of listening skills; identifying triggers; analyzing a recent miscommunication and applying the noise/filter framework to improve future conversations.

Notes on how this content connects to foundational principles and real-world relevance

Interpersonal communication is not just about transmitting information; it is about negotiating meaning under constraints of noise and personal histories.
Emotional intelligence is foundational for leadership in any field, particularly where collaboration and change management are central.
Active listening and empathy support more effective problem solving, reduce conflict, and improve organizational outcomes.
Understanding MVSS and introvert/extrovert dynamics helps in building inclusive teams that maximize strengths.
Civility and civility-building initiatives have tangible financial and productivity benefits, underscoring that ethical practices are compatible with business results.

Formulas and numeric references (LaTeX)

High performers’ EQ share: ext{High-EQ performers}
ightarrow 90 ext{ extpercent}; low performers with high EQ: ext{Low-EQ performers}
ightarrow 20 ext{ extpercent}.
Payoffs for EQ: high-EQ employees earn on average ext{ ext{ extdollar{}}}29{,}000 more per year than low-EQ peers.
Introvert share in professionals (approximate): rac{1}{3} ext{ to } rac{1}{2}.
Incivility annual cost example (Cisco): 71{,}000{,}000 ext{ ext{ USD}} per year.
Time spent by executives managing disputes: about 7 ext{ weeks} per year.
Extroversion leadership prevalence (approximate): ext{about }96 ext{ extpercent} of managers/leaders display extroverted tendencies.
Five Whys root-cause approach: 5 iterations of questioning to reach root cause.

End of notes.