Untitled Flashcards Set

So how did I manifest my boyfriend after three whole fucking years of truck? I what you guys need to know is this is three years worth the worth of history three years worth of being friends, being thirty and being in a weird like situation, like three whole years worth of it. And if I were to tell everything, we'd be here for an hour. In fact I tried to record a video of like everything not even like everything everything. It was like an hour and a half like an hour and a half of a relationship an hour and a half of me trying to manifest this man. So I'm gonna cut it down so slim and so short so we can get to the point. But a majority of this is gonna be backstory, I assume these for it's gonna be more more than one part, right? Like it is going to be more than one part. It's gonna definitely be probably at least 30 minutes. I'm not gonna lie, but like probably when I recorded this beforehand, by the time I got to the third part or like the fourth part, that's when I finally got to like the the lead of it, but these these first two parts will probably be best for people who want to know the full story. So it's my first one year of high school. I discovered manifestation when I was 13 years old and I'm currently 14. It's my freshman year of high school and I got three classes with this guy. three out of my eight classes with this man. And they were it was like all kind of early in the morning. There was like two classes early in the morning, then one kind of later in the day, right? Like the second class class of the day. and immediately I thought he was charming. like right off theat. from the moment I met him, I was like, that man is charming. That man is funny, and he's cute, right? Like and he's in the green above me. So moving on, I was friends with this girl and we were all in this computer science class. I was friends with this girl that I was friends with his brother. right? Or it used to be friends with his brother. So then when he was in that class and also I went to school with his younger brother since like sixth grade already. I also technically went to school with him since sixth. I just didn't know about him until my freshman year. because it was a six through 12 like school, right? So he just texted me. So it's my so and then she introduces me to him, and then we would all sit together in this computer science class. and then in this algebra class, later in the day, we kind of sound next to each other, and then in this Spanish class early in the morning, we also all kind of me and him also were kind of close to each other. Like we were like one seat apart. like one little seat in between us. So, immediately, I thought this man was cute, I thought he was funny, and I thought he was charming, and I still remembermbered the very moment I developed a crush on that man the very moment I'm not gonna say it here, though. So, fast forward, he texts me first. He gets my information and he texts me first. It was out of the blue, too. Like, I didn't give him my social media or anything. I just got a text one day from him a little DM. and I was like, oh, hi. He was like hi, and you know, me and him got the texting like a lot, like a lot, and this is like the first semester of high school. The first semester of freshman year. We're texting every night. we're calling in often, like I was feeling I had feelings for this man, and I thought he was flirting with me. Apparently when I talked to him about it now, he wasn't flirting with me, but I think he I felt like he was flirting with me like that. And you know, I'm like 14 years old. I've never had a relationship. Shit isn't that serious serious back then, but I had a crush on this man, and I remember at it was like the end of first semester. It was like two days in the second semester. I told him I had to crush on him, right? That didn't go anywhere, though, that did not go anywhere, because then that semester we had one class together, and we just didn't spend time together. We just didn't talk to each other and he stopped texting me and he stopped calling me. So you guys must know, I knew about manifestation at the time. I knew about it. I was well aware of it. Was I good at it not like this is back at like 20 something, like 2020, 2021. Lob attraction was still over the years. I don't follow love attraction, I follow love assumption, but although I knew aboutobb assumption back then, I was still believing in these like love of attraction believes, like free will. Free will, free will is gonna be a big thing here. I still believed in free will, and I believe that he had a choice whether it be with me or not, so matter what I was affirming, I kind of I kind of went back and forth in my head a lot to be like, okay. I went back and forth in my head a lot. I was like, okay. um is is this am I supposed to be doing this, and am I'm not supposed to be doing this? Like, I would be affirming for him for like, a week and then I would feel guilty cause I would be like, no, I'm like forcing something. like I can't be forcing something, like free will, like I can't be forcing you into a relationship with me. That is fucking fake. If you know anything about man up station, there's no such thing as free will. This is your reality, you create it, you can experience what you want. like it doesn't matter. So anyways, it's my uh I was I was very lost. like at certain points, I I thought we were getting games for a relationship at certain points during that first semester, however, then, my negative thoughts and my wavering, I also just had bad beliefs about myself. like I was willing to accept like the bare minimum in a relationship. Like I was willing to sit there and accept the bare minimum and not you what I deserved because that's what I kind of thought. like I was used to be so desperate for love. Like that was me for like until my senior year high school, I was so desperate for a relationship. I wanted it and if that meant being treated badly I really didn't care at that point, you know, like I didn't not care. So, let's so freshman year, I was the first semester, I was trying to manifest them, but then I was like, oh, free will, free will. Like I can't force them to do anything, but also I was thinking badly about myself at the same time, so I was like so I kind of thought I wasn't worthy of him, therefore he wasn't acting like I was worthy of him, you know, like he didn't see me as like the person for him. And we't get into this later, but at one point, it was like our my sophomore gear. He told me that we weren't right for each other. Like he straight up told me into his face, like, we are not meant breach other other, we are not right for each other, we are not the person for each other. and I was like, oh, great. So after our first semester, being hips to kind of stop talking, like I said, uh, because we don't have class classes together, he also got grounded from his phone. And I'm sorry, that's so so he didn't get his phone like the entirety of like the rest of his sophomore year, the rest of my freshman year. and yeah. that that was fun, so we didn't we stopped talking. that summer we started talking again, and this is when I was like, oh my God, my dad just texted me saying he has a sweet treat for me upstairs, okay? But this is when we started like talking again over summer and they started getting flirty and shit, like when when's the beginning? I swear I heard someone else saw my door. Beginning of black, hold up. So, at this point, where was I at this point, it's the beginning of my sophomore year. Right, and things were messy, sophomore year. Like things were so messy between me and him, my sophomore year, high school, and what you guys must have, this was the last time me and him ever went to school together. that eveningly gives up on a sophomore year, right? That I heard my cat meow for me. Anyways, so at sophomore year, we like on and off, all of sophomore year. Like one week he was really into me and one week, he wasn't really into me, and one week he'd want me and one week he wouldn't want me. And this was all because I was wavering. Like I was wavering in my affirmations, I was wavering in what I wanted. I didn't know what I wanted from this man. I didn't know if I just wanted to be like like I didn't know what I wanted from him. I think part of this also goes back to free will. I was like, and part of this also goes to self worth. I was like, no, I'm not worth a full peritted relationship with this man. Like a lot of it went back to self worth. and I don't personally believe in like that people who say that self concept is the key, but I do think like like, like me affirming, I' loved, I'm loved is that what got me a relationship with him. It was a firmly for him, right? But also at the same time, not believing that I was worthy of love kind of hindered the relationship at the same time, right? So, software year things were on and off, on and off, on and off, on and off, right? And I just didn't know what he wanted for me. and I was always the one texting, I was really desperate, and I wanted to be with him, and I would be pushing the 3D a lot. like that was what I was doing. I was pushing the three. I was texting him, I was reaching out, I was trying to force shit between me and him when you know that's not what you're really supposed to do. you know, like you're not supposed to force it. You're supposed to kind of you're supposed to sit in your thought and let shit come to you, not trying to force shit, you know? Like, there's a difference between forcing 3D and inspired action, and I will gain into inspired action because that plays a part in this in a little bit, but there is a huge difference, right? So sophom here is messi messy well, do you know what he wanted? didn't know what he wanted with me. He he was so like one day he flirtting with me like crazy and talking to me and texting me and spending time with me and being flirtatious and bei