Marriage & Divorce
Marriage in the UK
The number of marriages taking place in the UK each year has been decreasing over the last 40 years. People are also tending to get marriages later in life, and many people have children without being married.
Same-sex marriages are now legal in the UK. Many people see this as a good thing because it creates equality.
Although many non-religious people still see marriage as important, others see it as unnecessary. It’s now more common and acceptable for people to cohabit - either before marrying or instead of getting married. Cohabiting couples don’t have the same legal rights as married ones though.
Divorce is also far more common. Non-religious people often see it as sensible if the couple don’t get on, as they’ll be happier if they divorce. Some argue parents fighting can harm children more than divorce. However, many religious people see marriage as very important, and try to avoid divorce if at all possible.
Christians think Marriage is Important and Holy
The Christian faith values marriage very highly - marriage reflects the union of Jesus with his followers. In the book ‘Not Just Good, but Beautiful’, Pope Francis said marriage is ‘indispensable’ to society.
Marriage is a covenant between two people to offer love, support and commitment, and to have children. Nearly all Christians see polygamy as wrong.
Many accept cohabitation, especially as preparation for marriage. Some don’t - they disagree with sex outside marriage. The Catholic Church tends to be against it, but Pope Francis has recognised it can be hard for people to marry, e.g. for financial reasons - but they should be encouraged to marry eventually.
Faithfulness in marriage is important - adultery is forbidden in the Ten Commandments (Exodus 20:14)
Christians are divided over Same-Sex Marriage
The decision to legalise same-sex marriage in the UK was criticised by the Catholic Church and the Church of England. Many members of the clergy are against it. “The Church of England affirms, according to our Lord’s teaching, that marriage is … a union … of one man with one woman.” Canon B30
But some Church of England clergy will say thanksgiving prayers for the same-sex couples. In 2023 the Church’s General Synod voted in favour of trialling stand-alone blessing services.
It’s splitting the Anglican Church. Supporters of same-sex marriage say Christians should be loving to all and should support anyone who wants to marry. those against it say it’s a sin. They also think it’s wrong because one of the main purposes of marriage is having children.
The Catholic Church is more strongly against homosexual relationships and same-sex marriage.
Members of the congregation (particular younger people) within the Catholic Church and the Church of England tend to be more likely to be in favour of same-sex marriage than their church leaders.
Different Christian Churches have varying Attitudes to Divorce
The Roman Catholic Church says it’s impossible to divorce (Catechism of the Catholic Church 2382). Marriage is a sacrament - God made the couple on flesh, which can’t be undone. However, a marriage can be annulled if the couple never had sex or if a partner didn’t consent to or understand the marriage, or refused to have children.
The Church of England says divorce is possible and accepts that some marriages fail. Divorcees can re-marry in church if they find a minister willing to marry them. Some Church members disagree with this.
Nonconformist Churches (e.g. Baptists and Methodists) will usually re-marry divorcees, but an individual minister can refute to do so if it goes against their conscience.
Jesus himself was anti-divorce:
“A man [and] is wife … will become one flesh … what God has joined together, let no one separate.” Mark 10:7-9
“I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife expect for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery.” Matthew 19:9
Jesus was also forgiving of someone who had broken their marriage vows, but encouraged them to change their ways. In John 8:2-11, Jesus forgives a woman who’s committed adultery - but tells her, “Go now and leave your life of sin”
Some Christians view an unhappy marriage as a waste of two lives, and so see divorce as preferable.
Marriage is important in Judaism
To Jews, marriage is an emotional, intellectual and spiritual union. Many see it as the proper context for sex (seen as natural and God-given) and having children, but it is also for companionship.
Marriage is seen as a sacred thing - the word for the first part of the wedding ceremony, kiddushin, means sanctification. God recommends marriage - in Genesis 2:18, he says “It is not good for the man to be alone” and then creates Eve to accompany Adam.
“He who finds a wife finds what is good and receives favour from the Lord.” Proverbs 18:22
Adultery is seen as sinful, as it goes against the 7th commandment (Exodus 20:14)
Marriage and children continue the Jewish faith, as it’s passed on through the family
This means there’s often some anxiety over ‘marrying out’ - marrying someone who isn’t Jewish. Jews who have ‘intermarried’ are less likely to carry n Jewish customs and practices. ‘Intermarriage’ is more accepted than it used to be though.
There are Different Views on Alternatives to Traditional Marriage
Orthodox Jews don’t tend to cohabit because sex outside of marriage is seen as wrong. Reformed Jews see cohabitation in a more positive light, but ideally the relationship should be stable and long-term.
Technically, the Torah allows polygamy for men - Abraham had two wives, for example. But almost no Jews today are in polygamous marriages
Same-sex marriage is a divisive topic in Judaism:
Reformed Judaism backed same-sex marriage before it became legal in the UK, and hold same-sex weddings in their synagogues now that it’s legal
Jews who support same-sex marriage refer to Genesis 1:27, “God created mankind in his own image” - they say being homosexual can’t be wrong, as people have been created homosexual
Many Masorti Jews support same-sex marriage. They have created a shutafut (partnership) ceremony for same-sex marriages or civil partnerships - this is different from the traditional kiddushin
Individual rabbis in all three movements can choose not to hold same-sex weddings if they want to though
Orthodox Jews don’t tend to support same-sex marriage, believing it goes against the teachings of the Torah on homosexual sex. There’s a growing recognition though among some Orthodox Jews that homosexual Jews need to be welcomed in synagogues and supported
Divorce is a Last Resort
Jews accept that sometimes marriages don’t work out, and that it’s better for a couple to divorce than to stay together and be unhappy. But divorce is a last resort after all attempts at reconciliation have failed
The Torah teaches that a husband and wife become one entity when they marry so divorce is difficult and shouldn’t be entered into lightly. However, Maimonides’ Mishnah Torah does set out conditions for when divorce should happen, e.g. if a man knows his wife has committed adultery
“…a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24)
Traditionally, a woman cannot initiate divorce. This has caused an issue for Orthodox women who can’t get their husband to agree to a divorce, as they can’t remarry in a Jewish ceremony without a get (divorce certificate issued by Jewish courts). Women in this situation are known as agunot (chained women). Wives can also refuse consent for a divorce, but this happens less often.
Reformed synagogues recognise civil divorces, but people may want a religious divorce too. A Reform Jewish court can issue a get even if the husband won’t agree. Reform Jews don’t need a get to remarry.
Mark Scheme Evaluation of Divorce
Arguments in support
religious couples have made vows to be faithful/to stay together no matter what the circumstances/eg 'till death do us part'/bring up children together/it is wrong to break those vows children are badly affected by divorce/parents have a duty to children
this argument may be presented from a religious or utilitarian perspective
marriage is a contract/sacrament/sacred bond. Divorce goes against religious teaching.
Arguments in support of other views
some religious believers, as well as many atheists and humanists, would argue that in cases of abuse, the harm to children is greater than the harm done by separation eg continual fighting disrupts the peace of family life, drug addiction, alcohol problems and infidelity can be detrimental to family life. Many atheists and humanists would argue for utilitarian principles to operate/ie whatever causes the greatest happiness and least pain for human beings humans make mistakes, marriages fail, and for some religious believers, it is more compassionate to allow divorce when people have irreconcilable differences and the most compassionate act is the right act
atheists and humanists do not believe that marriage vows are made before God, so they would generally support a couple's right to divorce, decide for themselves about the future of their relationship.
Divorce is legal so people are allowed to divorce.
Judaism
Torah says a man can divorce his wife if 'he finds something indecent about her'/'shameful conduct' (Deuteronomy 24:10) but today divorce (get) is allowed by mutual consent since marriage is a voluntary agreement. 'Tears fall on God's altar for whoever divorces his first wife.' (Gittin90a) in the section of Talmud Wife cannot initiate a Jewish divorce, but reasonable grounds include infidelity, impotence, financial deprivation, cruelty or irreligiousness. In Israel a husband can be imprisoned if he does not grant the divorce to his wife, but elsewhere he is not bound by it, and then she cannot remarry another Jew
('agunot' = chained woman). Reform Jews have their own get which treats men and women equally. Liberal Jews now accept civil divorce alone. Divorce regarded as unfortunate but has no stigma attached - people are encouraged to remarry, but not to previous husband (Deuteronomy 24:1-4).