Falling Stars

Title 

Dedication: To all the people who loved someone more than themselves but to only be hurt by that same person

If only I knew that no one would love me as much as I loved them. 

Chapter 1

I’m on my way to be picked up so that I can get to the building where all the other members of my group were waiting. I’m so nervous, my hands are shaking due to my anxiety. There are already six people in this group, six other girls who are all older than me.Aila, Luna, Ara, Mina, Aera, and Yuri. They are all ravishingly gorgeous, I wonder how I am going to fit in. 

I get off the train and wait patiently for someone to come and pick me up. This girl with beautiful, hazel colored hair walks towards me. Her brown eyes glimmer like chocolate in the sunshine, the way she walks has attitude, pride, and love merged in it. “Hi, I’m Yuri. I’m part of the CC, Celestial Cascades. I assume you’re Hana, the new Maknae of our group.” She spoke. I just nod, still nervous from her beauty and worrying about fitting in. 

She tilts her head at me, then looks into my eyes. “Oh, Hana. I understand you, you’re so beautiful my girl. Soft black eyes, silky, smooth hair, and the heart of an angel. Beauty is all about the inside.” She reassures me. I just nod cause I have no idea what else to do. Yuri is very kind to me.

Chapter 2

“Shall we move?” She asks. I nod and clutch onto the strap of my bag tighter as I follow her. We get into a shiny, black BMW. It’s a beauty, on the inside and out. I sit there bopping my leg up and down, while one of my hands rests on my thigh and the other clutches onto my bag strap which is strung over my shoulder. 

“We’re here!” Exclaims Yuri. There was a huge smile on her face, I can’t help but smile at her euphoria. The building isn’t too big or too small. It’s just perfect. I step inside and am attacked with a huge and warm welcome. “Welcome home!” Everyone cheers. 

They are all so pretty, they start introducing themselves. “I’m Aila, the leader of the group. I’m the second oldest. And as we keep going on this journey together you’ll see that I’m the most responsible one out of all of these idiots.” The girl is almost 6 feet tall, probably 5”8’ or so. Still, I am short compared to her. She has long black hair, and luscious green eyes that sparkle. Her face has that natural beauty to it, she just looks…gorgeous. 

The girl next to her nudges her in the ribs softly, “Ahem. I’m Luna, obviously as you can see the prettiest here, I’m also the oldest. Call me Eonnie,” she starts. I giggle. She has a good sense of humor too, but she is telling the truth. She looks.. Divine. Light brown hair, dark black eyes. I can't look her in the eyes, it's intimidating. 

 “Hi, I’m Ara. I usually don’t care what they do, I’m just minding my own business. They’re all really chaotic.” Says the girl with rose gold hair, and light brown eyes. She looks to be more of the savage type. Everyone sends her a glare after what she says, but I notice Yuri. Her eyes linger on Ara a little longer than anyone else. Maybe it’s just me, or maybe something is going on there. 

“And, I’m Mina! I love to dance, our rehearsals are my favorite part of the day.” She’s so cheery, even more cheerful than Yuri! I know right, who can be more cheerful than Yuri! Mina has dark gold and brown locks. Her violet eyes are what I find most beautiful. She seems very, very sweet. They all do. 

“I know, I’m last. But I hope I’m not the least,” Speaks a voice from behind me. 

“Aera! We’ve been waiting for you, you disappeared after the welcome.” Speaks Yuri. 

“Oh, hehe. I went to grab the cake for our new Maknae. Btw, Hi. I’m Aera, I don't think I have any specialties. But I must say, you look gorgeous.” She speaks. I blush, horribly. I don’t know why I blush, she must be kidding. Right? She has soft black eyes, they’re the kind you can get lost in. Her black hair which is curled at the ends bounce on her shoulders everytime she moves her head a little. She’s taller than me, all of them are. 

“It’s very nice to meet all of you. I’m Hana, I like to draw and I especially love to read. I hope we all flourish together along this beautiful journey that we are on together.” I speak. They all smile at me and then Mina says, “Hey! She speaks.” We all giggle. 

“Now, now. I’m sure we can talk plenty in the morning. Let’s give Hana some space and let her rest. Come, Hana. I’ll show you to your room.” Speaks Aila. 

“Hey! What about the cake?” Asks Aera. Aila shakes her head giving Aera a look, then she looks at me and smiles. I smile back at Aila, then I turn to Aera. It’s quick, no one notices, unless they’re watching her. I see her face fall at the look Aila gave her, like she’s disappointed in herself. Then she covers up her emotions and puts a smile on her face again. I feel so guilty. 

“Hey, Aila. Is it fine if Aera joins us too?” I ask. Aila looks at me with surprise, Aera’s face lights up like a light bulb. Aila nods and then looks back at Aera and mouths something. I don’t turn as quickly, so I can’t watch as she mouths to her. Aera nods back at her. I feel so self-conscious of myself. But, I push it away and keep moving forward. 

Chapter 3

“So, this is your room. You’ll have to share your room, as you can see there’s another bed in here. This building is quite small, so we are all sharing rooms.” Says Aila. 

I nod and ask her, “May I know who my roommate is?” 

Aera yells, “Surprise! I’m your roommate!” I’m so happy, Aera is very cheerful. I’m just worried about tonight, and the nights that are coming for the whole week. 

“Ok you guys. I hope you will help Hana settle in, Aera. I’m going to have to take my leave now. We’re all tired and ready to hit the beds. And no, we don’t have a curfew here. There is a bathroom across the hall. If you’re hungry Hana, Aera will show you to the snacks. I hope you can be comfortable here, Hana. Good night, you both.” Aila speaks. 

“Good night,” Me and Aera speak in unison to Aila. Once Aila leaves the room, we turn to each other and smile. I start to put away my things in the drawers. Aera goes into the storage room to get me a blanket and two pillows. “Here, I’ll place them on your bed for you. And you’re sure that you don’t need any help?” She asks. I nod and thank her for her kindness. She just smiles back. 

After I put away everything, I get in bed. I just realized that I have left my teddy back at home. Mr.Snuffles, but I think that it would be better if he is not here so I don’t get embarrassed. However, I can’t sleep in new places. It takes a whole week for me to adjust. And it’s even worse if Mr.Snuffles isn’t here. I face up at the ceiling, imagining the worst scenarios that could happen tomorrow, all night. I could mess up on all the steps and get sent to my room. Or, if I embarrass myself by my throat cracking in front of all of them. What if I…. 

I can hear Aera’s soft breathing and realize she fell asleep. I turn to face her bed and see the moonlight sneaking in through the spaces in between the shades from the window on my side. It lights up her face. She looks beautiful in the moonlight, her bangs fall over her eyes. Her small hands together below her head. My eyes trail down, I see the blanket covering most of her. Then my eyes wander back up to her face, I have the urge to push the bangs out of her face. 

I slowly step out of the blanket and carefully make my way towards her bed, sure to not make any noise. I kneel down by her bed, only then do I hear it. Her soft whispering pleas. They make me wanna cry. “Please, please leave my family alone. Please don’t do anything to them. I’ll do whatever you say. Please, I’m begging you.” Then she starts screaming, like she’s in eternal pain. I hug her, I hug her like this is the last time I’ll ever hug anyone. She cries into my chest. The other girls come running into our room. One look at us, and they understand that I’ve got her. 

“Shh.. It’s okay. I’ve got you.” I whisper to Aera. She shudders one last time before everything goes quiet and still. Aila, beckons to me to come outside. I lay Aera back down and silently step out of the room. Everyone is outside on the couch, a look of worry splattered across their faces. “What….What happened to Aera?” I ask. Everything is silent for a moment, then Aila starts speaking. 

“Aera has gone through some shit in her life. She’s been through a lot. If she wants to tell you, then she will. However, I must tell you, this is a very sensitive topic for her to open up to someone who she barely knows. So, please don’t mention tonight to her or ask her about it. She will tell you if she wants to, not even I know much about it. She thinks of herself as a burden to all of us.” She finishes and nods to the other girls as a sign to get back to bed. 

Me and Aila go our separate ways to our rooms. Once I step in, I look at Aera. She’s sleeping peacefully now, but the image of her yelling and begging and crying won’t get out of my head. The night passes by as quick as it came. 

Chapter 4

“Good Morning,” Speaks Aera. She looks so cheerful, like nothing happened last night. And, why does she look so familiar?  I clear my mind and look at her with a smile. “Good morning, h-how’d you sleep?” I ask, biting my lip. 

“Good, I think.” She replies. I smile at her sadly, “Hey are you ok?” She asks me. I nod, putting back my smile and covering any traces of sadness. “Good, then let's go to eat breakfast. I’m so hungry, plus the girls would have already got there. I’m not an early bird.” She giggles. It breaks my heart to think that such a happy-going person would have so much pain hidden deep inside. 

We walk out the door and she leads me. Down the corridor, take a left and you reach the kitchen. The Dining table is right across from the Kitchen. The girls are all seated there. Someone else is there too. “Hi Hana, I’m Emma. I’m your guys’ manager, I’ll mostly be at work. You guys will have to take care of yourselves and practice often. There is no cleaning staff, no kitchen staff. No staff at all. For now,... Hopefully. But, don’t worry. These girls will help you around here. As it is, they’re either two or more years older than you. Our second youngest Aera is two years older than you. And Luna, she’s four years older than you.” Emma says. 

I’m shocked, I can’t believe I’m so young. I’m flustered. I nod and we all wave goodbye to Emma as she takes her leave. I go and pull up a chair, right of Yuri and left of Aera. “Good morning,” I wish them all. “Good morning, honey.” Says Yuri. I look at her and smile. “Good morning, Hana.” The rest of them wish me well. 

I see Luna in the kitchen, “Hey! Do you need any help?” I ask her. “I’m fine, Hana. Thank you, though. Although it would be nice if someone could mix the batter while I’m making the eggs. So, if you wouldn’t mind?” She replies. “Of course! I’ll be right there,” I say and get out of my chair rushing to the kitchen. 

While I’m making the batter for our waffles I’m humming this tune that’s been stuck in my head for the past couple of days. I can’t seem to figure out the song name, it’s like it’s on the tip of my tongue but I can't make it out. “Is that True Blue by Billie Eilish?” Asks Luna. “OMG, yes! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I couldn’t figure out the name of the song, it was on the tip of my tongue!” I reply in gratitude to her. She smiles at me and finishes making our eggs as I finish the batter and start pouring the mix into the waffle maker. 

“Here’s your breakfast, my lovelies,” says Luna as we carry the plates to the dining room. We all giggle and then start to dig in. “Mmm. The waffles taste different today, a little sweeter. What did you do, Luna?” Asks Yuri. “Oh, Hana made the waffles for us today. I suggest you ask her,” She replies. They all look at me. I smirk and shrug. 

“It’s my grandmother’s secret recipe, she was a baker. I grew up with my grandmother learning her recipes, after… ” I stop myself, tears brimming in my eyes. They all glance at each other, not knowing what to do. Aera just stands up and comes to hug me. Then they all follow. “We’re so sorry, Hana.” Says Aera. I nod, still not able to look away from the ground. 

“Hey, it’s ok. There’s nothing to be ashamed of, we all need to get out the pain sometimes. It’s okay, to not be okay.” Speaks Aila. 

Chapter 5 

Alright people. Get it moving, faster. Faster.” Cheers Mina. Mina, she’s the one who’s got the most energy out of all of us. And she’s the one who wants to take one more shot after every single shot that comes out perfectly! It seems perfect to us, but she always, ALWAYS, finds some sort of mistake that someone might have made. And, it’s almost always me. They cheer me on and tell me it's because I’m just now taking takes, so I might be nervous. I know they’re just being kind, they’re trying to be as patient as possible with me. I feel like a burden, like I’m holding them back. 

“Hey, Mina. I think we’re all done for the day, we should take some rest.” Says Ara. Ara rarely speaks at all, so when she does I’m always taken aback. We all nod in agreement to Ara, “Fine, let's go have some dinner yall. We have been practicing all day,” says Mina. 

We all get ready, I head to my shared room with Aera. She helps me pick out a simple but cute outfit. Aera has a good sense of style, honestly she’s good at everything. I don’t know why she mentioned that she’s not good at anything the other day, but I know this girl is seriously undermining herself. I wear my black crop top and dark blue jeans that hug my legs, everytime I lift my hand slightly the top reveals more of my stomach. I don’t like it. Even though it's hot outside, I put on a gray jacket and zip it up halfway. I’ve always been so insecure about my stomach, I don’t want to remember why, however I will never forget the inevitable pain of the memories. 

“Hana! No! Why’d you wear a jacket? It hides so much of your beauty, come on my girl. It’s hot outside,” She exclaims. “I’m not feeling well, Aera. Please, just let me wear it.” I tell her in a weak voice. Her face turns to worriedness, I feel guilty. “If you’re not feeling well, then you should have told us! Little lady, health always comes first. I’ll tell the other girls to head out, I’ll stay and take care of you.” She replies. “No! No. You should go out, enjoy yourself.” I say. She just chuckles and opens the door, “Girls! Hana isn't feeling well. I’ll be staying home to take care of her, don’t worry I’ll make dinner for us. You girls have fun,” She yells out the door. 

Aila comes into my room, “Hana, are you alright?” I nod, “I’m fine, eonni. It might be my allergies, that’s it. Although I would appreciate it if you could get me some allergy medicine from the pharmacy on your way back.” I reply. She nods and smiles at me, giving Aera one last glance before leaving. Aera just tucks her head in and looks down, then I glance at Aila to see her frustrated. Then I look again and the look seems familiar, I used to wear that look a lot. She seems frustrated with herself…

“Hey Aera, can I ask you something?” I ask her. She hums and nods at me while searching for the heat pack. “Why do you always look so sad or disappointed in yourself when Aila looks you in the eye? I saw it the day I first came here, and now… Did something happen between y'all?” I ask. 

She’s quiet. “Aera?” I ask her. “Oh… Ai-Aila. Yes. Um, yes. Something did happen between us.” She says. “If you don’t mind, may I know what happened?” I ask her again. She shakes her head, tears welling up in her eyes. “I really don’t want to talk about it.” “That’s ok, just know that I think it’s not your fault. I’m sure that’s what Aila thinks too.” 

She smiles at me while tears keep pouring down her cheeks, “Thank you, Hana.” “Of course, Aera. Anytime,” I reply. She goes into the kitchen, and disappears there. I sit down in my bed and think about what could have happened. It couldn’t be that bad, could it? Just as I dwell on my thoughts, Aera comes into the room. She has two bowls of soup, “I’ll be right back, I’m going to go get the rice for dinner.” She then leaves the room only to come back with two more bowls. 

She gives me my dinner then sits on the edge of her bed, facing me. It’s quiet. Dead silent. 

Chapter 6 

I’ve known Aila longer than all of you guys.” Aera says suddenly. I look up in surprise, but she’s gazing off into the distance. I stay quiet and let her continue her story. “I didn’t have many friends even when I was young actually,” she laughs bitterly, “Aila was my first friend. She treated me like her little sister, even though she already had one. Cause she's, you know, two years older than me. Her sister’s name was Amara. I met Aila when I was 13, everything was going well, we were really close. I’d always go over to her house after school ended. Then everything started going wrong after she went to high school. She made more friends, she didn’t have as much time for me. We did talk on the weekends, sometimes. Yet, that was rare too after she got a boy-bestfriend.” 

“Aila had a boy-bestfriend?!” I ask, then quickly cover my mouth with my hand. Aera laughs sadly this time, then she nods. 

“He was super tall and strong, you know? Apparently, she was getting bullied in school. I didn’t know of this, they just clicked the day he stood up for her. I-I fought a lot when I was little. Aila didn’t like that,” she shakes her head while tears well up in her eyes, “I should have listened to her that night. One day, when I was in 11th grade. Yes, two years ago. We had game night every friday. So, I was going to Aila’s part-time job cafe with Amara to head home with her. There wasn’t anyone in there, only Aila, she was cleaning up. A random guy walked into the cafe, he asked her for a latte. She told him that the cafe was closed and that she was sorry. He kept repeating it. She told him, ‘please understand sir.’” 

Aera shakes her head, her hands trembling, sweat was beading on her forehead. “H-he p-pulled out-t a-a g-gun, Hana.” She whispered, her breathing getting rapid. “Hey. Hey, it’s ok. It’s okay, Aera. Deep breaths, ok. Deep breaths.” Aera’s breathing got calmer, she looked in my eyes, her eyes filled with fear and hope. 

“I rushed in there, Amara was behind me. Right behind me, I forgot the fact she was with me all along. I ran up to the guy, Aila kept yelling at me. She told me to stop, she said not to. Amara has a fear of loud sounds, Hana. She was covering her ears with her hands and crouched on the floor.  I punched the guy in his right eye and he punched me in the stomach. I landed on the floor, but as he was about to kick me Amara came and bit his gun hand. She then looked up at him, her hands trembling. He smirked. H-he, he shot Amara. He shot Amara, Hana. In the neck, she died not immediately. The guy ran away after he shot Amara. Aera was screaming for help. Amara was sputtering out blood and telling us that she loved us. And not to be sad. But she also cried, she cried and told us she didn’t want to die yet. She was 16… She was 16, Hana. The police and ambulance had arrived, after a few surrounding people hearing the gunshot called the police. But it was too late, and it was all my fault.” She silently spilled. 

“I begged him, Hana. Aila begged him. He wouldn’t have shot her if it wasn’t for my fighting. I know, Hana. People aren’t usually triggered to really shoot the gun even if they have one unless something happens. Don’t say it’s not, because I know it is.” She finished. I don’t know what to say or do, I never imagined Aera as the type of person to fight. And her self-hatred is too deep. I decide that I should talk to Aila about this, when she comes home. So for now, I just hug Aera. She sobs into my shoulder, “Aila won’t even speak to me anymore. I can’t look her in the eyes. I can’t be around her without feeling that it’s my fault Amara is gone. When Amara left us, Aila was locked inside her room for weeks. She wouldn’t come out of the house for months. Finally, when she saw this opportunity from my instagram account, she decided to come out of her shell.” She stops talking.

I can still hear soft sniffing coming from her, so I lay her in bed. Keeping my arm wrapped around her, I hum to her and rub my hand on her back. She slowly falls asleep. 

Chapter 7

I hear the door of the building opening, the girls all giggling. I quickly get out of bed as quiet as I can and step out of the room. “Hey, y'all. Let’s keep it down a bit, Aera’s asleep.” I say. Aila looks at me surprised, “Weren’t you the one who wasn’t feeling well. She’s supposed to be taking care of you. Well, thats crazy.” She scoffs.

“Hey, Aila. Lay off her for a while, let the poor girl rest. She hasn’t been feeling much well lately, you know that, yet you seem to ignore it, I don’t know why.” Yuri speaks. Aila looks frustrated again, “You know what. Thats it! Y'all don’t even know her like I do, I’ve known her since she was 13. Do you even know all the shit she’s been through? And everything she’s done?” 

“We may not know what she’s been through when was younger, but we’re gonna be there for her no matter what. We’re all a big family, you need to sort out your problems Aila. She’s the youngest, after Hana. You can’t keep treating her like this.” Speaks Luna. 

“Yeah, we agree.” Mina and Luna say. Ara just nods, but she looks concerned and keeps glancing back at Aera’s door. My heart softens at that. These girls have known each other for less than a year, but they talk like they’ve been living their whole lives together. I wish I could be a part of that bond someday. I come back into reality when Aila stomps off to her room that she doesn’t share. 

“I’m gonna check on her,” I say. They all nod and go sit on the sofa with their heads in their hands. “Hey guys,” I say and they look up at me, “It’s gonna be okay.” They all smile at me sadly. 

I knock on Aila’s door, “Come in.” A low voice answers. “Hey Aila, I may not know everything she’s been through either, however I do know what happened that night two years ago.” I say quietly. Aila looks up shocked, “D-did she tell you?” I nod, “She’s heartbroken, Aila.. She had a panic attack, and I’m not so sure that this was the first time.” I speak. She shakes her head, “No, it's not the first time. Aera’s been having panic attacks since she was seven or eight I think. The truth is, Hana, Aera’s kind of my soft spot. She’s always been special to me, and after… After Amara left us, she was my only hope and my only reason to keep going. I know that it wasn’t her fault that night now, but I don’t think she does. After the incident, Aera caved in on herself. Suddenly one day, she came up to me with the flier to try out for the CC’s. It was like she decided to up and about, that it was time to get on with life. She knew it was going to be hard, she told me that if we were together we could get through this together.” She shakes her head again, tears falling down her cheeks. 

“I really should have talked to her then, you know? I ignored her, I pushed her away. I blamed her for everything. She started blaming herself too. Then time passed and she started acting happy again, like from before. Except whenever I was around her, like not so many people there… She wouldn’t look at me, like she was afraid that I would be angry at her. I’m really, really sorry Aera.” She whispers the last part. 

“You know, Aila. Aera blames herself for it, but thats not it. She’s got a lot of self-hatred for herself. We all need to help her, together. Let her know that we’re there for her. And you both need to talk, as soon as you can.” I reply. She nods her head again, I hug her. My arms wrap around her waist since I’m pretty short. She nuzzles her face into my hair and everything is just quiet for a moment. 

“Well, that’s that. Let’s get it moving now, girls.” Says a voice from behind me. 

“Mina?” We both say. Then we all giggle and walk out of Aila’s room. 

“You know Aila, I really don’t think it's fair you have your own room.” Says Mina. 

“Oh, I’m so offended Mina. Well, everything is fair in love and war.” Aila says as she punches Mina lightly in the arm. I giggle from next to them. 

“And what are you laughing at, you little rat!” Mina exclaims. I run about and they turn and chase after me, all of us squealing like little kids. Well, I guess I am still a kid. I still have two years left of High School. 

Chapter 8

The sunlight screams at me to wake up as I cover my face with my blanket, suddenly I hear an alarm ring. I sigh, wanting to bury myself under the covers but having to go to school. “Hana! Shut that alarm up before I barge into your room.” Yells Yuri from next door. I leap out of bed, rushing to get ready. I look at Aera and notice she’s still sleeping, dang, we could all be killed and that girl would still be asleep. Smirking, I put my phone right next to her ear and play her favorite song, Go-go by BTS. 

“HANA! Heaven's sake, Hana! You scared the heck out of me!” She yells. “I didn’t expect you to wake up.” I giggle, ready to dodge any of her pillow attacks. “You look ready, where are you going?” She asks. “I’m going to BTS concerts- where do you think I’m going?” I sigh, laughing at her silliness. “All right, all right. Now get out, I need to go get ready!” She says pushing me out of the room. 

I look at the time on my watch, munching on my burnt toast as fast as I can. “Eat slowly, Hana! You’re gonna choke!” Says Luna kindly. “I’m gonna be late for school if I eat any slower than this!” I mumble while chewing. I grab my backpack and run to the door as I bid my goodbyes to the girls, who are sitting on the couch drinking coffee. I clutch my bike for dear life while I pedal as fast as I can with my tiny feet towards school, waving towards all of the elderly I see. I crash my bike into the stands and run into the building exerting all my energy while trying to maintain a low profile.

I rush towards my locker, getting my math books out. I cram my bag in the locker and run to class, I smash into someone. “I’m so so so so so so so so so so sorry.” I apologize as I pick up my book and pouch. I bow down to apologize and then glance up, shook. Minho. “It’s alright. Hey, Hana-” I walk past him to class, bumping my shoulder into him. I quietly enter, nobody noticing me silently creeping into my desk until I hear someone clearing his throat. 

“Ms. Hana Jun! You’re late,” The professor speaks. 

“Mianhae, ssaem.” I profusely apologize, my face turning red as all of the class turns to look at me. 

“All right, all right. Everyone focus on the new topic,” The professor says. I quickly sit back down in my chair and feel a piece of paper thrown to the back of my head. Still heartbroken over your break-up with Minho, Bushy hair? My hair’s always been so poofy, no matter what I do to it. I look back to see Mi Hi smirking at me, she is beautiful as her name but no, absolutely not, she isn’t full of joy. Irritation clouds the bright blue sky as I walk over to her table. The professor is facing the board, but the rest of the class has turned their attention to me and Mi Hi. 

“What. Is. Your. Problem.” I spit out, frustrated. She just smirks at me infuriatingly as the professor yells at me, “Ms.Hana Jun! What is it with you today?! Causing trouble in the middle of class!” 

“B-but professor-” I try to defend myself.

“No! To the Gyojang’s office, young lady. Right now!” He scolds me. 

I storm out the classroom with my things, muttering curses under my breath as I walk to the principal’s office. “It’s always me. I’m always the one who makes the mistake, huh. One day, I swear, one day I will get justice.” I speak, crushing the paper in my hand. “Hey! Hana Jun!” Yells a voice from behind me. “What?” I ask, annoyed. Then I look up and I am fuming, it’s all because of him! Minho Jun! Because we used to be best-friends AND had the same last name! 

He looks taken aback at my tone, then glances at the not crumpled piece of paper in my hand. Then at my things and finally his eyes wander back up to my face. “Hey, are you ok?” He asks softly. I break, I fall to the ground right there and right in front of my ex-best friend. I forget everything, like the fact that I’m supposed to be on my way to the principal’s office right now. It’s like old times, where I can share all my problems with him. 

“Shh. Shh. It's okay, I’m here. Tell me what's wrong.” He comforts me, rubbing my back. I hand him the crumpled piece of paper, he reads it then looks at me guiltily. It is his fault anyways, he’s the one who decided to up and leave me by myself. “I’m sorry, Hana. I know that you might not want to be friends with me anymore, but if you can find it in your heart to forgive me… I would really appreciate it.” He speaks slowly. 

“Hana!” I hear a worry filled voice yell. I turn back to see Yuri running towards me with worry creasing the corners of her eyes. Minho backs away. She wraps her arms around me in a protective hug and whispers, “Don’t worry, I know that you didn’t do anything wrong. I’m sure of it. Don’t take Aila’s behavior to heart, okay? She’s just a little stressed currently.” I look up with a questioning expression while the tears on my cheeks are dried up and feeling sticky. I’m suddenly worried as the words sink in, I force myself to swallow the lump forming in my throat. I look past Yuri to see Aila, Luna, and Ara walking towards the principal’s office, which is a few feet away from us. 

I try to make eye contact with Aila, but she doesn’t even glance at me, she just gestures to Yuri to follow them. Yuri looks at me with a sympathetic expression and takes my hand lifting me up. I get up and turn to look at Minho, he gives me my books he picked up off the floor, I nod once in thanks to him. He looks like he’s about to say something, but Yuri glares at him and pulls me away. I feel awkward from her misunderstanding, Minho’s like a brother to me. I’m sure he thinks the same way. 

However, currently… I’ve got bigger problems on my hands. I step into the principal’s office and bow down, “Annyeonghaseyo, gyo-jang.” 

“Hello, Jun Hana. Annyeonghaseyo, Hana’s guardians I presume?” My principal says. Aila nods, then glances at Yuri. Yuri quickly nods and whispers to me, “Apologize Hana. I know, you wouldn’t have done anything wrong, but first apologize then you can explain.” I look up at her, then look at the principal. “Joesonghamnida, gyo-jang. I didn’t mean to disrupt the class,” I speak out. 

“This is not the first time that this has happened, Hana. However it has always had something to do with Ms.Mi Hi, I presume?” He tells me. I nod my head in agreement staring at the beautiful snow globe sitting on his desk. “Let’s see Ms.Hana, how about you explain what happened then I will call Ms.Mi Hi from the classroom, and inquire to her as well.” I nod my head and start explaining.

“Minho? You mean the young man you hang around with all the time?” Asks my principal. “No sir, we aren’t friends anymore. It’s because we have the same last name and we used to be thick and thin, that’s why everyone is teasing me.” I clarify his question, boldening on the used to be. He nods in understanding, “I understand Ms.Hana, and this school is no place for bullying. I will speak to Ms.Mi Hi and kindly request her to stop or else consequences will be bound upon.” 

“Gamsahamnida, I’m so sorry for disturbing you during such busy times.” The principal says to Aila. 

“No worries, Hana shouldn’t have let such an incident happen in the first place. It was very irresponsible of her to have interrupted the class for such a small misunderstanding. We are very sorry,” Aila apologizes. 

“Of course, no worries.” The principal replies. I’m struck by nervousness from Aila’s apology, obviously she’s mad that I’ve done something wrong just after joining the group. I might have tarnished our entire reputation. 

“You may head home for the day, Ms.Hana. As it is wrong to interrupt the class no matter what,” The principal tells me. I nod in acceptance and look at Aila, she’s disappointed. I can tell. As soon as we step out of the building I try to talk to Aila. 

“I’m so sorry you guys, I should learn to control my anger better. I let it get the best of me, I’ll be better from now on. I apologize sincerely,” I bow down. I look up at them to see Luna, and Yuri examining me with glossy eyes. I turn to Aila to see her still walking away to the car. My eyes well up with tears, Yuri wraps her arms around me. 

She says something I don't hear.

Chapter 9

“Hey kid! How come you’re back so soon? School doesn't finish until 6pm for you, and you’re back at noon?” Aera asks me. Ara keeps trying to give Aera signals to stop and look at Aila for a second, but she doesn’t understand. Then finally she looks at Aila’s disappointed face, and then beckons me towards our room. I look back at Yuri, she nods in approval. Aera looks stupefied for a moment. Then we continue to head towards our room. I look back and see Aila heading into the practice room. 

Aera closes the door behind us, “So, what happened? And why does Aila look so disappointed?” I tell her everything that happened. “I’m seriously not liking that Mi Hi or that Minho. Like maybe you should just bring them to me, and I’ll tell them both to just back the heck off my sister.” She comforts me. I giggle, then realize she just called me her sister. “Sister?” I ask. She looks at me and arches an eyebrow, “Obviously, we’re all family here. And don’t stress too much about Aila, she’s just, she’s not in a good mood today. She’ll come around.” I nod back. 

I turn my head as someone knocks on the door, “Hey y'all. Aila’s made dinner.” This time it's me who arches the eyebrow, Aera and Luna try to hide their giggles. “Please don’t ever make that face again, Hana.” Luna says, smuggling her laugh. I cross my arms and make an upset sound, although I’m just messing with them. “Aww, so adorable. Our baby maknae is upset, awwww. We’re sorry, little baby.” Aera chuckles. 

“Hey! I’m not a baby! For your information, I’m almost 17!” I tell them.  “Just wait, I’m going to tell Aila eonni!” I exclaim, then quiet down as today’s events flash through my mind. “Come on, let’s go see what Aila’s made. K?” Aera says, rubbing my back. I look at her, and plaster on a small smile just for her, nodding. 

“Omo! Did you really make this Aila? Jinja?” Asks Luna. Aila glares at her, I snicker silently. This time Luna glares at me. Aera snuffles a laugh. Aila clears her throat, “So, do all of you like it?” “Yes! It’s amazing!” Everyone says. I just focus on my plate and keep eating the rice and chicken. She clears her throat again, I look up this time to see her staring at me. She lifts her eyebrow expectantly, I almost choke. I gulp down my food and some of my water. “It’s delicious, Aila. It reminds me so much of my mother’s cooking.” I say, my eyes tearing up. Aila’s face softens, her eyes creasing at the ends in worry. I shake my head to tell her I’m okay. 

Aera looks at my bowl that my hair had fallen over covering. “Hey! Aila! Is this how you show your favorites?” I look so confused, then look over her plate to see that everyone but me has Kimchi. I’m the only one with meat in my bowl. Aila blushes, “I just wanted to apologize to Hana. I was having a bad day, and I took that out on her.” I shake my head quickly, “No. No, don’t apologize to me. It was my fault.” 

“Okay, enough cheesy. Now, everyone, finish your dinner and head to bed early. We have a recording tomorrow.”Ara speaks. Aila turns serious, she nods and sits down to eat. 

Good night, girls.” Says Aila. I run up to her and engulf her in a hug, she stands shocked for a second then slowly brings her arms up around me. “Good night, Eonni. Sweet dreams,” I say. “ Jal jayo, Yeodongsaeng.” She whispers into my hair, pecking the crown of my head. I smile into her shirt, then step back unwrapping my hands from her waist. She drops her arms too. She waves at me as I walk away looking back at her and waving. 

Chapter 10

“Good morning, pretty girl.” I hear a voice. 

“Ugh, what time is it?” I whine. “It’s 5:30 am, get up. We have so much to do today.” Says Aera. I grudgingly get up and blink my eyes open to see her ready. “WHAT! YOU’RE ALREADY READY??” I exclaim! 

“SHH! We’re all tired and having migraines… Pls don’t yell. Just go and get ready quickly.” She speaks slowly. I nod my head walking over to the bathroom. I quickly brush my teeth and take a shower, wrapping a robe over myself. I step out, no one’s in the room. I open my drawers and pull out my favorite purple turtleneck and a black flared skirt. I wear my clothes and stand in front of the mirror, putting my hair into a high ponytail. “May I come in?” Someone knocks on the door. I nod, then realize they can’t see me and say, “Yeah, sure. Come in.” 

The door opens to reveal Luna, she’s carrying a plate with waffles and a glass of orange juice. “I brought you breakfast, everyone’s left to the recording room.” I nod, taking the plate and juice from her sitting on the bed. I’m halfway through finishing my breakfast, when she says, “It’s your first recording, are you nervous?” I nod my head slightly, deep in thought. 

“All right, everyone. Done with your vocal exercises?” Asks Emma. Oh yea, Emma’s here too. We all nod our heads in response to her, “Let's go, Aila will pass out the lyrics.” It’s beautiful, it’s like singing out our hearts to the fans. The girls. I have never heard them sing before, it’s beautiful. I can feel they’re voices in my heart, it’s as sweet as honey. I’m up, my part’s next… 1… 2… The words flow out of me, my heart beating fast. I close my eyes and feel the lyrics, I can hear Aera humming in the background. Splashes of light erupt before my closed eyes, lighting the darkness up with fireworks. 

I open my eyes as my singing finishes off the song, I find everyone looking at me with an indescribable expression on their faces. “Was that okay?” I ask nervously, fidgeting with my sleeves. 

“Okay?!,” Luna exclaims, “That was amazing!” I smile shyly, ducking my chin into my neck. 

“Yes Hana, that was great.” Speaks Aila. My eyes light up with pride, I feel like I’ve accomplished something great. Aera pats me on the back, “I always knew you were special, kid. That was amazing.” I smile at her. 

“Oh come on! Am I the only one who’s hungry? We’ve been practicing and training for almost four hours now!” Yuri speaks. We all chuckle and nod, heading out the door. I turn back and look at the bright black room one last time, soaking in the feeling of something new. Belonging. 

“You good, Aera?” I hear Yuri whisper to her. Aera looks into her eyes, they bleed with pain in them. But she pulls on a faltering smile to cover her sorrow. I crinkle my eyes with worry, but before I could say something Yuri wraps her arm around Aera’s waist and pulls her close. They walk away a little farther whispering things I can’t hear. 

A while later they start speaking louder and louder, or more like arguing. “You’re always doing this!” Yuri scoffs.

“I said it once, I said it twice! How many times do you need to hear it?!” Aera argues back. 

“Would it kill you to tell me, at least once?” Yuri cries. My heart breaks at the sight. 

“Just leave me alone would you?!” Aera raises her voice. My eyes flicker between them, the argument heating up the air. 

“Both of you, get off each other. Behave, we’re about to go into the public. If you don’t behave, I’m going to make you hold hands the whole time.” Aila speaks sternly. 

“She started it!” Aera whines. I sigh. 

“She never shares anything with us!” Defends Yuri. Luna sighs, she walks over to Yuri and links elbows with her. “Let’s go talk somewhere else, shall we?” Yuri looks at her confused, but nods and leaves. I walk towards Aera, she looks at me then slightly smiles. I shake my head and motion for her to keep walking. Everyone continues walking towards the location of the restaurant, I look back to see Luna speaking assuring words of comfort to Yuri. I can’t hear them, but Luna’s always been so caring. She rubs her hands on her arms in fondness. “Food! Finally!” Exclaims Luna. I agree, after today’s practice, everyone is tired and stressed.

“Are we ordering the usual?” Ara asks with her eyebrows raised. I’m surprised, Ara doesn’t speak much. Everyone but me nods, she leaves. I’m stunned for a second, then Aila looks at me, she nods towards Ara. I catch up to Ara, “Hey!” She looks at me, her eyes dim. She doesn’t look too happy, in fact she looks almost annoyed. “What?” She asks in such an irritated tone. “Oh, uhm. Can I come with you, I could help with the orders?” I ask. She laughs, it doesn’t sound heartfully. “You need to stay away. Away from Aera, and away from Yuri. I don’t know what you’re up to, little girl, but I need to keep my family safe. So kindly, stay away.” That hurt. I really didn’t want to cause problems to anyone, but am I really being that troublesome? I mean, I guess I’m childish, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be such a bother.” 

“Next!” The cashier calls out. Ara walks away without looking back even once, I just turn and walk towards the girls, who are sitting in a private booth at the back. Aila looks at me, raising an eyebrow, I just smile at her. She relaxes and breathes out a sigh, Luna turns to her. She whispers something into Aila’s ear. 

Chapter 11

Luna 

I see Aila sigh, “Hey, after lunch meet me in my room.” I whisper into her ear, and she nods back, her eyes focused on something far away. Or shall I say someone. I follow her line of sight, Mina. Mina’s usually hyper and really energetic, but she just looks drained right now. I’m worried about her, she usually doesn’t share her problems with anyone until she can’t really take it anymore. Aila also looks very worried, I can’t with Aila, she always worries about others too much and forgets about her own health. Ara comes and sits down between Yuri and Aera. She looks at Yuri and grabs onto her hands, then she grabs Aera’s hands and finally she links them together. “Eonnie!” They both whine. 

“You either hold hands or you’re not getting any lunch,” I hear Aila say. I look at her and see she’s annoyed by this point. The maknaes are always making trouble. They’re always tiring us out, especially Yuri and Aera, we’ll have to see about Hana. Oh, speak of the devil. She groans and hits her head on the table, “I’m so hungry.” We all chuckle, except Ara. She looks really…frustrated about something. I need to have a talk with all of these older ones I guess: Aila, Mina, Ara. 

The waitress brings over our food, “Kamsamnida!” We all say bowing our heads, she bows back and leaves. Everyone starts digging in, I look around making sure everyone is comfortable. Yuri just stares at the food, not picking up her chopsticks. Everyone is eating, and no one notices Yuri’s hesitations. Our manager started a VLive a few minutes ago when the fighting had subsided, they were all behaving now. After almost half the food is gone, Yuri picks up her chopsticks but then she places them down again like she’s contemplating something. I’m really worried for her, she’s been doing this for the past week now. Ever since we got those comments, even the day Aila made dinner she barely ate anything. And she loves it when Aila cooks. I don’t know what happened, but I sure hope she tells us about it soon or else things are going to get out of hand. 

After we end the VLive, we all go home and rest for another half an hour before leaving for dance practice. Our debut day is getting closer and closer, we have to work harder. There’s only 15 days left. I close my eyes and think about what’s going to happen when I hear a yell from the living room. Before I could even get out of bed there's a crash, I shove the blankets off and rush towards the door. Aera’s standing at my door, she looks like she was going to knock. “Eonnie! Come quick! Ara and Hana are having a fight!” I run to the living room and before I could do anything, Ara slaps Hana across the face. Everyone gasps, Aila walks up to them. She pulls Ara by the hand and walks away to her room. 

Chapter 12

Hana 

I noticed it, I saw Luna notice it too. Yuri wasn’t eating. She wasn’t eating at all. We all decided to take some rest before the dance practice, we needed to be working constantly these days because the debut day is nearing. Everyone is in their rooms resting, I need water. I walk into the kitchen with my airpods in as I listen to our latest song that we recorded ‘Now’. I open the drawer and get out a glass, walking backwards in a moonwalk I shuffle to the tap. Suddenly I hit into something, or someone, hard. Glass shatters at my feet, I turn around to see Ara. My nerves rise at the thought of making her upset again. I smile slightly to ease the atmosphere, but she glares at me. 

“Sorry, I didn’t see you there. I’ll clean it up,” I apologize. 

“Clumsy as always,” She scoffs. I try not to be offended. “Hello? I’m talking to you, here. Not air.” I just walk past her, to not cause more trouble picking up the broom. “WHO do you think you are, huh? Are you ignoring me? Doesn’t know how to show respect. Can’t sing properly. Can’t dance well. And all you’ve done since you came is cause trouble. You’ve caused trouble for Aila, and for Aera, and for Yuri. You’ve been nothing but a troublesome problem that everyone has to put up with. We were fine without you, I told Aera. I told her that you wouldn’t do well, but she was so stubborn to pick you.” She yells at me. Tears glide down my face, unable to stop them I just freeze, holding the pieces of glass in my hands crouching. 

“Look at me while I’m talking!” She scolds me, making me stand by grasping onto my chin. I gasp. I look up at her, tears falling quicker than a waterfall continuously. She chuckles darkly, “I’m not gonna fall for your act like everyone else. Your little act of innocence and kindness. I know what people like you are like.” 

“Ara,” Yuri gasps. We both turn to her, “Hey, Yuri. Look it’s-” Ara starts to explain. 

“Stop. How can you say such things to her, she’s hurt. Can’t you see? You’re hurting her, you need to learn your limits with people Ara.” She speaks sternly. I feel guilty, I think I came between the two best friends. 

“Yuri, we were just talking. Nothing happened. Don’t worry, Eonnie was just scolding me for dropping the glass cause I could have hurt myself.” I stutter out, trying to fix the mess I made. 

Yuri just smiles sadly at me, “You don’t have to pretend you're okay. I heard everything.” Tears pool in my eyes, she glares at Ara and tells me to sit down on the couch. She walks over to the kitchen, getting me a glass of water and then going back to clean the clutter of glass. Ara walks over to me, while I continue staring at the rug. 

“Well, aren’t you gonna go help her? You’re the one who made the glass shatter into shards.” 

“Sorry,” I mumble, standing up to go help her. Yuri smiles at me and hands me the bag to hold while she picks up the shards of glass. Her hand slips and she cuts herself, she gasps loudly as blood rushes from her palm continuously. I’m frozen, then I realize what's happening, we rush out the kitchen. Ara stands up quickly, panicking, “What happened!?”

“Just a small cut, eonnie. Don’t worry too much about it, I’ll get it bandaged.” Yuri replies softly. I notice how her tone has entirely changed. Ara shakes her, “No. No, you come with me. I’ll get you cleaned and bandaged.” She says pulling Yuri away from me. And Yuri leaves me standing there by myself, guilt empowering me. I stand there frozen, and Ara comes out after a while. 

“HAPPY NOW?! HAPPY ARE YOU?! YOU’VE FINALLY CAUSED US PHYSICAL PAIN AS WELL.” She yells at me, I flinch. 

“OH STOP YOUR ACT AT LEAST NOW.” She yells coming closer to me. I step back, but she grabs hold of me and slaps me across the face. I fall to the ground, I hear multiple gasps but I can’t see anything as my tears blur my vision. My eyes close shut in exhaustion, from today’s events. The last thing I hear is a faint but calming voice calling out to me. 

Chapter 13

Aila 

I don’t know what’s going on, but Ara’s been acting really weird all day. When she slapped Hana, something in me just snapped. I pulled her away, bringing her to my room. “Sit.” I say sternly. 

“Eonnie.” She whines. I glare at her, she shuts up and sits down. I sit across from her and wait patiently knowing Luna will barge in at any moment now. What I didn’t expect is for Mina to enter the room and sit next to Ara. She grabs Ara’s hand holding it in her lap, and rubs small circles on it. Then she looks up at me, “Luna eonnie said she’s coming, she’s just helping Aera put Hana in bed since she fainted.” I see something flicker in Ara’s eyes, something I’d been waiting for, concern. Then it disappears just as quickly and quietly as it came. I can hear Luna yelling from across the hall, “ARA SOO MIN! YOU BETTER RUN BEFORE I GET YOU!” She slams the door open. Ara scurries and hides behind Mina, who looks tired. I must talk to her. 

“Eonnie, I’m sorry. She hurt Yuri. I couldn’t just do nothing!” Ara whines trying to desperately defend herself. 

“And how do you know it was her fault?” Luna asks in a spine-shivering voice. Everyone gets scared when Luna gets angry. She’s dangerous at those times. 

“Eonnie,” I whisper softly, placing my hand on her arms which are crossed over her chest intimidatingly. She looks at me and her gaze softens a little, but worry still creases her forehead. I place a kiss on her left cheek. Her anger slowly subsides, she turns and looks at Ara calmly. 

Ara comes out of her hiding place, Mina sinks into a chair closing her eyes. “Guys, I think we all need to talk. Something is going on, and none of you are sharing.” Luna says, looking at me . My heart clenches, did she really notice?... 

“We’re all fine, eonni. It’s just really nerve wrecking because our debut day is nearing.” Speaks Mina. But then she sighs loudly breaking into sobs the second Ara wraps her arms around her. Ara looks at us, asking what happened. We shake our heads in concern, Luna bends down and wraps her arms around Mina signaling Ara to let go. 

“What’s wrong Mimi? Won’t you tell your eonni? I’ll help you, come on Mimi. Share with us, we’re here for you.” Luna speaks in her motherly tone. I admire her, as always. Mina shakes her head, “I’m sorry, I’m really sorry you guys.” “You have nothing to apologize for, please just tell us what happened.” I say softly to her. She finally rolls her sleeves up, Ara gasps. Luna gently caresses her arm, tracing over her scars. “What happened?” I croaked out, after a while. My voice is strained as I fear my tears will betray me and fall through. I notice wet, water marks on her arm and raise my head to see that it's not hers but Ara’s. Mina softly wipes Ara’s tears, then speaks again. 

“I’m sorry you guys. I shouldn’t have done this, I know. But it was the only way to escape the pain that was excruciatingly exhausting me mentally and then slowly physically. It all started from the VLIVEs. The comments.” She sobs. I know exactly what she’s talking about, ofcourse, I had seen those too. They had been excruciatingly painful for all of us. At Least they could only read and understand the ones in Korean. I look to my side to see Luna shaking her head softly murmuring something under her breath. Mina and Ara follow my gaze and their eyes lay with concern, “Luna.” I breathe out. She looks up at me, my heart twists at the sight, her eyes are red, tears continuously flowing out her eyes like pools of water. Mina falls onto her knees and hugs Luna, “I’m sorry, eonni. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.” Luna shakes her head, she keeps shaking it harshly. 

“STOP THAT! You’re going to hurt yourself!” Ara raises her voice at Luna. Luna looks at her shocked, Ara freezes realizing what she had done. 

“Eonni, I’m-” Ara tries to apologize. Luna places a hand on her knee and shakes her head, she smiles softly and nods as if she understands. My heart breaks into a million shards, Luna’s stopped speaking again. Then slowly, Luna turns to me. She looks me in the eyes, communicating through them. I sigh. Ara watches as I remove my sweatshirt standing in a tank top, her eyes widen as they move down from my shoulders to waist. Luna whimpers, hiding her face in her hands and shaking it while sobbing. 

“You’re so thin, Aila.” Ara squeaks out. Mina nods along with her still in shock. I wrap my arms around Luna, she wraps her arms around me lightly as if she’s scared I’d break if she hugged me tighter. Luna’s tears drench my shirt but I don’t care. “I’m sorry, eonni. I’ll try to eat more from now on.” I whisper into her ear. Everything grows quiet after a while, Ara and Mina leave to go to bed. I call out to, eonni. I hear her soft breathing slow, I realize she fell asleep. I tuck her into my bed and walk out. The kitchen light is on, I step into the kitchen to grab a glass of water when the waft of ramen hits my senses. Yuri. 

“Yuri,” I whisper out. She looks…. Her hair is disheveled, there’s dark circles under her eyes, her whole body is shaking, her hands hovering above the warmth that comes from the ramen on the stove, she stands in nothing but her tank top and a pair of shorts. Her face is red, and her nose is blotchy. She appears as if she cried for hours. She turns around, then quickly rubs her hands on her face, “Eonni. What happened? Why’re you awake this late at night?” 

My heart breaks, this debut day thing has definitely taken a toll on all of us, but she’s one of the youngest among us… I should have taken better care of everyone. It’s all my fault, now Yuri is also going through shit. “Are you really okay? Yuri,” I whisper out. Her eyes widen. 

“Eonni, you look worn out, do you want some ramen? Or something else? You should get some sleep, eonni.” She rambles. My eyes soften. 

“You really don’t want to tell your eonni? Riri, we’re here for you.” I hug her. She cries into my shoulder. “Tell me, na? I’ll help you, I’ll take care of it. Okay?” I comfort her. 

“M-my mom.” She stutters out. I freeze, her mom…. Her mom wasn’t feeling well, and she needed to earn money to take care of her, that’s why she even joined the band. “She left me, eonni.” Yuri whispers out. NO. NO. This can’t be! “Shhh, shhh. It’s okay. I’m here. I’ve got you.” I comfort her the best I can. I wish Luna was here, she would know what to do and say. “Do you want me to get Luna? Or Ara? Hmm?” I ask her softly. She shakes her head. “Don’t tell anyone, eonni. I don’t want to be a burden to more people, don’t worry about me eonni. I’ll be fine, you should really get some sleep.” She says, wiping her tears. 

“You get some sleep too, Riri. Take rest, we’ll all go to dance practice tomorrow.” I reply, not knowing what else to say. 

Chapter 14

Hana

I heard everything. I heard what happened to Yuri’s mom. I heard what happened to Mina and what happened to Aila. I heard Luna cry herself to sleep. I heard Ara throwing the things in her room. I heard Mina trying to calm Ara down. I heard them break down together. I heard it all, I saw all of it. And I went back to my room finding Aera in the middle of a nightmare. 

“Aera! Aera! Aera wake up!!” I raise my voice, shaking her. She opens her eyes, tears falling out. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up.” She apologizes with her head down. I can’t anymore, all these girls have been through so much shit. I haven’t been much of a help either, I’ve only been making things worse. I shake my head at her, and walk to my bed. I can feel her eyes on me as I pull up the covers and turn towards the window with my back to her. I hear shuffling behind me, then the door to our room opens and closes. I quickly turn and see Aera’s gone. I sigh. My eyes shut tightly, I can’t take it anymore. It’s all just too much. 

“Hana! HANA!” Someone yells my name, shaking me. I open my eyes to see Yuri, her hand is bandaged. “Yuri, what happened to your wrist?” I ask worried, sitting up at once. “Never mind my wrist! Where’s Aera?!!!” She cries. 

“What do you mean, where’s Aera?!!!” I exclaim. “Isn’t she in bed?!!!” I ask her, raising my voice. I look over to her bed, it's the same as last night..Except now..Aera’s gone. 

“Aren’t you the one in the same room as her?!! She was here last night? Are you sure you didn’t see her?” Yuri asks worriedly. I nod my head. 

“YOU LITTLE SHIT!” I hear a voice stomping towards the door. “I told you not to cause more trouble! HOW COULD YOU HAVE NOT SEEN HER? YOU BOTH SLEPT IN THE SAME ROOM!!!!” Ara yells at me. I flinch. 

“I’m sorry, I’m really sorry. I heard the door open last night, but I thought she went to get water or something because she had just woken up from a nightmare. I was really tired to asking her or say anything.” I replied quietly. 

“YOU SAW HER GO OUT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT BUT DIDN'T ASK ANYTHING?????” Ara lashes out. She lunges to grab my collar, but Yuri pulls her back. 

“Eonni! Are you out of your mind?!! Why are you acting like this?!!!” Yuri cries. 

“I’m sorry, Riri. Ha-have… Have you seen Luna? She’s bawling her eyes out, I can’t take it anymore..” Her voice softens. She looks as if she’s on the verge of tears. Yuri shakes her head and walks out slowly, I follow behind them slowly brushing my hair with my hands. Like she said, Luna’s sitting on the couch with her head in her hands, she’s crying so much. Aila’s trying to calm her down, Luna shakes her head. Aila comforts her by wrapping her arms around Luna, Luna sobs into Aila’s shirt. 

Yuri and Ara sit on both sides of Luna, “Hana said Aera left last night, eonni. We don’t know what to do..” Yuri said. Luna sobs louder, I look around, Mina’s not home. “Where’s Mina?” I ask. They all look at me, Ara glares at me. The rest are just… Mad and worried. “She went out to search for Aera.” Aila says coldly. That sends a shiver down my spine.  

Ara’s phone rings, “Its Mina.” She says softly, reading the room. 

“Put it on speaker,” Aila says, shushing Luna softly. 

“I’ve searched everywhere! I’m getting really worried! I can’t even think of half the places she would be because of my nerves! Someone tell me something! Ara, ask Yuri! She would know!!” Mina sobs into the phone. Ara turns to look at Yuri. Yuri’s gazing off into the distance. 

“Yuri? Yuri!” She shakes her. Yuri looks at her confused, then tears spring to her eyes after Ara tells her what happened. Her cheeks are drenched, “Do you have any idea where Aera could be, Riri?” Ara asks Yuri. Yuri stares at the wall for a few minutes, then snaps her head back to Ara. “OFCOURSE!” She yells. “Tell Mina, I’m coming out of the house. Tell her to come pick me up,” She yells running upstairs to get dressed I’m guessing. Ara informs Mina and then turns to Luna. 

“Don’t worry, eonni. We’ll get her back. If only someone would have at least cared about the rest of us, we wouldn’t be in this situation.” She glares at me. Aila sighs. “You really should have at least asked her where she was going, Hana. That’s the least you could have done after everything we’ve done for you.” Luna looks at me, she looks tired and broken. 

The three leave me in the living room by myself with my overwhelming and guilty thoughts. I sit on the couch and cry my heart out, silently. I hear footsteps coming down the stairs, quickly wiping my tears as I stand up. “I’m leaving, Mina’s here. Will you tell them that it’s going to be okay? We’ll be back with Aera in a while.” Yuri says, closing the front door behind her. I nod, to no one. 

I walk around the house trying to find the three eldest, they’re in Aila’s room again. I knock on the door, “Come in.” I hear a strained voice. 

“Yu-Yuri says she’ll be back in a while with Aera. She told me to tell you guys not to worry.” I whisper out. 

“Is that it?” Ara sneers. 

“I-I’m sorry, I’ll try to be better from now on.” I stutter out. Ara tries to stand up, her anger radiating off her. Aila puts a hand on hers, “She says she’s sorry. Let’s wait until Aera gets back and we’ll give her another chance, Okay?” Hope lights up inside me. I give them a small thankful smile, “This doesn’t mean we forgive you.” Aila says coldly. My smile falters a little, but it stays clinging onto hope. Luna looks infuriated, she storms up to me and slaps me across the face.   a

“EONNI!” Aila cries out. I hold my cheek, tears falling down my cheeks. Luna holds the hand she slapped me with, looking at it in horror. Tears start streaming down her cheeks again. I let out a whimper, sobbing as quietly as I can. 

Luna comes closer, worry etched on her face. I crawl back in fear, “No! No! Please! Please don’t!” I sob louder, my back hitting the wall. Luna freezes, Aila walks to Luna and puts her arms around her shoulders. Aila looks back and shoots me a look of pity, they walk away. Ara comes closer to me, kneeling in front of me, “I don’t know what you’re trying to pull, but if you make my family cry one more time I myself will make sure that they get kicked out of the team.” She coldly says, shivers running down my spine as I try to calm my breathing and tears. 

Ara leaves the room, kicking the door open. My breathing is still fast, tears uncontrollably roll down my face as I keep thinking back to what has happened over the past couple of days. My eyes close. When Ara slapped me, when Luna slapped me… When they all yelled at me… I can’t help but lose myself as the past engulfs me. 

“You're good for nothing! Useless little brat!” They spit as kicks land on me. “I’m sorry,” I whimper, my lips quivering. They laugh and continue. “Ungrateful!” “Disgusting!” “Ugly!” I hear multiple voices as they trample over me. I sob, apologizing, “Please, I’m sorry. Please leave me. What did I ever do to you?” “WHAT DID YOU DO?! Your existence itself is a pain to us! Because of you, all the attention is gone from us.” My cousin shouts as her golden locks bounce on her shoulders while she kicks me in the stomach, harshly. 

“HANA!” Aera shakes me awake. I look at her, blinking away the tears. Then I realize she’s actually here, I wrap my arms around her tightly and sob into her neck. “You’re back.” I stutter out sobbing. “I’m sorry, Aera. I’m sorry for being such a burden that you felt like leaving here. It’s all my fault.” 

She pulls away from me, hurt in her eyes. “Who told you that?” She asks, raising her voice. “It's not your fault, Hana. Whatever you think, don’t worry. Okay? Now how about we get some food, I don’t think anyone has had breakfast or lunch yet. And, you should get off the cold floor, you might get sick.” She helps me up, my legs trembling threatening to buckle under me. I fall to the floor again, “Hana!” She exclaims. “Are you okay?” I nod. 

A voice comes from behind her, “Again with the acting.” Ara scoffs. “Eonni! Please help me take Hana to the dining hall,” Aera says not having heard Aera. I shake my head vigorously, “I’m fine you guys. I can walk by myself. You go, I’m just gonna freshen up and I’ll be there.” Aera starts to say something but Ara interrupts her, pulling her out of here with her arm around Aera’s shoulder. 

I stare at my reflection in the mirror, the girl in front of me is unrecognizable. She has dark circles under her eyes, her face is pale and her cute bubbly cheeks have sunken into her face. I raise my hand to feel my skin, I flinch at the sudden contact as if I hadn’t expected it at all. The cheek where Luna and Ara slapped me is still bruised red. If you look closely, you can make out fingerprints. I rake my hand through my hair, brushing it, and I step out of the room.

I feel myself slowly lose consciousness as I near the dining hall, I step down the half-step my feet tripping over each other. Someone calls my name, something clouds my vision, loud clangs, and I’m gone. 

Chapter 14

Yuri 

Mina arrived just as I ran outside, “Quick! Drive to the old run-down library.”

“That’s dangerous! Why would she even go there?!” Mina asks worriedly. I can’t tell her why, I would never break Aera’s trust. “Just go! Quick!” As soon as she gets there, before she even parks I run out of the car. “YAAH! AT LEAST WAIT FOR ME TO PARK!” Her voice echoes the ghostly empty land. I run inside the building up to the roof, there she is. Aera. Her legs dangling over the edge, her eyes closed as she slightly leans back. “Aera,” I call out. When I get closer, I see she has earbuds in, sensing my shadow she flutters her lashes and widens her irises at me in surprise. 

“YAAH! HOW COULD YOU JUST RUN OFF LIKE THAT? DO YOU KNOW HOW WORRIED ALL OF US HAVE BEEN???” Mina yells from behind me. Aera’s eyes fill with guilt, “I’m sorry, eonni.” Mina huffs and sighs, “Let’s go home. Luna’s not okay, Aila just called. Something happened apparently, and she’s not okay. Please think twice before you do something like this again, Luna has been crying all morning.” Aera nods. I wrap my arms around her shoulder as we walk to the car. 

Mina parks the car and we all walk inside, Luna’s staring at the ground. She’s pale, her body is shaking, Ara keeps rubbing her left shoulder with her hand. Aera runs to her, and kneels down before her, wrapping her arms around Luna’s waist as she cries into her shirt. “I’m sorry, eonni. I’m fine though, I’m okay now. Please don’t worry, eonni. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.” Luna looks down at Aera, her face still as pale as before. Then she finally breaks when her fingertips touch Aera’s hair. 

Luna sobs, looking at them all apologetically. They all gather around her and wrap their arms into a big group hug. 

“Wait,” says Yuri, “Where’s Hana?” Luna’s sobs grow louder, Aila shushes her. “She….Luna got upset with her and slapped her.” Aera’s and Yuri’s eyes grow wide, they look at each other then at Luna slowly.Yuri and Aera, unwrap their arms from around her and run around the house calling Hana’s name. 

“Hana!”

“Hana!”

“Hana, where are you?!” Yells Yuri. 

“Hana!!!” Aera yells louder than before. 

Chapter 15

Aera

“HANA!” I yelled when I saw her shivering on the cold floor of Aila’s room. I shake her awake from her nightmare. She looks at me, tears pouring down her cheeks. She suddenly wraps her arms around me tightly and sobs into my neck. “You’re back.” She stutters out sobbing. “I’m sorry, Aera. I’m sorry for being such a burden that you felt like leaving here. It’s all my fault.” 

I pull away from her.  “Who told you that?” I ask, raising my voice. “It's not your fault, Hana. Whatever you think, don’t worry. Okay? Now how about we get some food, I don’t think anyone has had breakfast or lunch yet. And, you should get off the cold floor, you might get sick.” I help her up, she falls to the floor again. “Hana!” I exclaim, worry consuming my head. “Are you okay?” She nods. 

“Eonni! Please help me take Hana to the dining hall,” I say when I spot Ara behind me. Hana shakes her head vigorously, “I’m fine you guys. I can walk by myself. You go, I’m just gonna freshen up and I’ll be there.” I start to say something but Ara interrupts me, pulling me out of there with her arm around my shoulder. 

“Did you find her?” Yuri asks as we step out into the dining hall. I nod, not saying a word. I saw the harsh red marks on her left cheek. Getting slapped by two people, two days in a row… I can’t imagine what Hana must be going through right now. While we’re setting up the table, Hana comes out of the room. Her hair is fixed up a little, like she brushed through it with her fingers, her face is still red, the dark circles under her eyes concern me. Her eyes are hooded, like she’s going to fall over any second now. I go to get her a glass of water from the kitchen, I hear a clash outside. I set the glass down, moving to go see when I hear a thud. 

I run outside, Luna’s trying to pick up Hana and carry her to the couch. “Eonni! What happened?” I ask her, panicked. Luna has tears in her eyes, she shakes her head and nods towards the clash. I look behind us, Ara’s eiffel tower sculpture… Oh no… They already don’t get along well, and now Hana’s shattered Ara’s sculpture to pieces. 

I get a glass of water, and shake Hana awake while Luna’s gone to the restroom. Hana gets up slowly, I hold out the glass towards her. “Here, drink it.” I say. She slowly grabs the glass with her shivering hands, gulping the glass of water down swiftly. She sets the glass down on the table sharply, I intake a deep breath. She just stares at the ground without saying a word, then after a while, “I-if that’s all-” She stands, stuttering. 

Luna glares at her walking towards us with a bowl of soup. Hana, still gazing at the floor, just sits back down. Luna sits down next to her, gets a spoonful of soup and blows on it, then she holds the spoon closer to Hana’s mouth. My lips twitch to form a smile, but I contain it very smugly.

Hana finishes the soup and just sits there, staring at her lap. Luna sits there staring at her. Meanwhile I’m stuck in this awkward situation. “Okay, well… You guys handle this, I’m leaving. Bye…” I say getting up off the couch. 

Chapter 16

Luna

It’s awkwardly silent after Aera leaves too, for a while. I look away and clear my throat, Hana looks up at me. Her eyes are filled with tears again, “Lu-luna.”She says softly. I look at her, surprised by her tears. Hana just stares at me with glossy eyes, her mouth slowly opens. But what comes out is not what I expected. “I’m sorry, eonni! I know, I can be quite a burden. I’m sorry for annoying you, and disturbing you all to this extent. Please forgive me, please don’t be mad at me. I’ll be better, I’ll change. I’ll try to be more kind with everyone, please just forgive me. I’m sorry.” She sobs, throwing herself at me, wrapping her arms around my waist. I’m shook, I’m frozen. 

Slowly wrapping my arms around her, I look down. She looks up at me, her face is all blotchy. “If you guys are done coddling and stinking the air with sentiments, I would like to talk to eonni.” She says. I raise my eyebrow, questioning her. “In private.” She says. I nod, getting up. I look at Hana, patting her on the head softly, I leave with Ara to the kitchen. 

I raise my eyebrows at her, asking silently what she wants.“Oh, nothing. I was just hungry so I wanted to ask if you could make something for me, eonni.” She says softly. I glare at her and look back at Hana.

“OMG. Would you guys stop thinking about her for five seconds? It’s always ‘Hana this’ and ‘Hana that.’ There are other people who are in your lives as well, eonni. And you guys seem to have forgotten about the others once someone new comes in.” She says. Realization hits hard, yes Hana is the youngest, but we all have been growing distant in focusing towards her only. 

I try to comfort her, pulling her in. I kiss the top of her head, apologetically staring into her eyes. She nods leaving the kitchen. I sigh, slumping against the kitchen counter when I hear a scream. I jolt upwards, running out of the kitchen. There she stands, screaming at Hana. Again. 

“What’s happening here?” Yuri comes out of her room. I shrug, then turn to Ara. By now, everyone’s out of their rooms. 

“Someone. Smashed. My. Eiffel Tower. Sculpture. MY DAD BOUGHT ME!” Ara raises her voice. My eyes widen, I look around at each of them. Aera looks down, twiddling with her fingers. Ara follows my line of sight, questioningly looking at me and Aera. “Aera?” She breathes out slowly. Aera flinches. She slowly looks up at Ara, “Eonni…. Mianhaeyo. Mianhaeyo, Eonnie. I didn’t mean to. I’m sorry, I really didn’t mean to. I-it was an accident.” Ara’s fuming by now, “How. Did. It. Happen.” She breathes out, trying to calm herself. 

“I-” 

“No! She’s lying!” Hana interrupts her. 

“No. Don’t listen to her. It was me!” Aera says. “What are you doing, Hana?” Aera hisses at her. We watch the scene unfold, “STOP IT!” Ara yells. The room grows quiet, our breathing the only thing that sounds us alive. “Who did it? I want answers, Now.” Ara says sternly. 

“I’m sorry, Eonni. It was me,” Hana says, softly, looking down. 

“How the frick did it even happen?!” Ara’s voice raises. 

“She fainted. Clashing into your sculpture…” Aera says, softly. 

“Yeah right, I bet you she pretended to faint just so she could break the one thing I have left from….” Ara’s voice fades out slowly. I walk over to her and pull her into my arms.. She cries against my chest. I brush her hair softly, kissing the top of her head. I look at everyone, We need to take care of each other, we’re all we have. We can’t all just focus on one thing, or one person. We need to watch out for each other. In the debut stress I haven’t been able to look after you guys well, but you need to watch for each other.  

They follow me into the dining room, I leave them to get the food from the kitchen. Bringing the pot of dumplings, some veggies and rice. I set it all out on the table, then sit down between Aila and Ara. Everyone starts digging in, I watch them in adoration. “Eonni. You eat too! This is really good!” Aera exclaims. I just nod and continue watching them eat, then a pair of chopsticks with some rice and veggies appears in front of my face. I follow the hand, tracing my eyes up from the fingers, meeting with Aila’s eyes. 

“Please eat, eonni.” She says, caringly. I nod, opening my mouth and leaning down, swallowing the food she fed me. I smile softly at her, but it doesn’t reach my insides. Yuri isn’t eating much…Just like before. 

Chapter 17

Yuri

The past week has been tiring in more ways than you could imagine. I…I lost my mother. No one knows. I can’t do this anymore. I feel horrible, I feel like lying in bed all day and not doing anything. I’m sick and tired of pretending to be okay. No one even cares. I’m forcing myself to shove a little bit of food down my throat to make eonni happy… But I truly just want to show my fingers down my throat and throw all of this up. 

How can I eat right now? I don’t deserve to. I couldn’t save my mother… It’s my fault. She asked me to come and visit her, I told her I’d come once everything settled down here. I was stressed, I didn’t mean to take it out on my mother. She had told me to take care of myself, she made me promise her to always be myself and live a healthy life. Me not really caring about anything… I promised her easily and cut the call. She told me she loved me….I ended the call and didn’t even reply to her… I’m the worst daughter ever. 

Luna eonni isn’t eating, Aila eonni feeds her. I smile at them, setting my chopsticks down. I hide my cup with my hands, slowly bringing it closer to Aera’s plate while she’s talking to Mina and dumping the food in her’s. Once I put the cup back, I look up only to make eye contact with a concerned eonni. My face grows red thinking I’ve been caught. I wring my wrists, clearing my throat and catching everyone’s attention. “I-i finished my dinner…I’m going to bed.” I say slowly and softly. Aila eonni looks at me worried, so does Luna eonni and Hana. Ara doesn’t even look at me, my heart breaking at the sight. 

“You….Okay...Take rest, eonni.” Hana says. I nod, putting on my best smile to please them. I turn and walk away as fast as I can to the room I share with Luna eonni. My heart beats so fast, my breathing getting faster. I slump against the door as soon as I shut it. My back against it, I pull my knees closer to my chest. The tears pour uncontrollably, I’m quiet though. I can’t breathe, my chest squeezes, blocking the airways…Deep breaths. Deep breaths. I know I won’t be as lucky as last night when Luna eonni slept in Aila eonni’s room. 

I hear a knock on the door. It’s probably Luna eonni, I quickly wipe my tears and scramble into bed. I shut my eyes, tightly, facing away from the door and gripping my comforter firmly. I hear the door open softly, the bed sinks beside me. Her soft hands tug the comforter off my face, she brushes her fingertips on my hair. A wet droplet stings my face, oh eonni, tears threaten to spill at the thought of my eonni crying. She presses a soft kiss to my forehead, her lips quivering. Then she lays down beside me, wrapping her arms around my waist. Tears spill down my cheeks, I let them fall to my pillow. A whimper escapes my mouth, eonni sits up. She looks at me concerned, my eyes are wide open. She opens her arms wide, I fall into them, sobbing. 

“Eonni! Omma!” I cry. I feel her hands tighten around me. She rubs my back, softly, letting out small,comforting shushes. “She left me too, eonni. She left me all alone…I have no one now.” I cry into her stomach. She pulls away, I look up at her, tears pouring down my cheeks uncontrollably. She grabs my hand and pulls it closer to her chest, points her index finger at me and then at herself, then the door. She clasps onto my hand, spinning it in a circular motion, I understand, sister…. She’s trying to tell me that they’re all here for me. We’re together, I’m not alone…We’re a family… I nod, slowly.. She lets out a small, sad smile while patting my head. I melt into my eonni’s touch, her care and love… 

She lays me down, making a motion with her hands, in a sleeping position. Telling me to go to sleep, she closes my eyes and runs her hands through my hair. Slowly stroking my hair, my eyes getting heavy and lidded. Then something hits me suddenly, I sit up straight. She looks startled, “Eonni!” I gasp. She shushes me, putting a finger on her lips. And again makes a sleeping motion pointing towards the door. I nod my head, apologizing. She smiles softly, then she raises her eyebrows. 

“...Why’re you not talking anymore? What happened, eonni? I’m worried about you.” I say softly, voice laced with worry. She opens her mouth, then she shuts it again. Shaking her head, she leaves my bed. “Eonni?” I call her. She doesn’t reply, getting into bed and pulling up her covers. Knives plunged deep into my stomach, that’s what it feels like. Why won’t she tell me what happened? Why did she stop talking again? I have to talk to the others about this tomorrow. 

Chapter 18

Luna 

Yuri’s been looking so sullen these days, all the drama that’s been happening must have hit her hard. Our poor Riri… If only she shared her worries with us… Last night, when I went into our room Yuri started crying. Her mom had died… Her mom was the only person Yuri had left from her family. She had cried about being alone….How much she missed her mom… I tried to tell her that we’re all here for her. Suddenly, out of nowhere… She asked me why I wasn’t talking anymore. I didn’t know how to respond. I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. Disappointed with myself, I just headed to bed. The voices in my head, consuming my thoughts. 

‘Do you really think they care?’ It laughs. ‘They don’t want you here anymore, you haven’t helped them in any way. You can’t even take care of them because you’ve been so selfish, overthinking everything and being devoured by stress. You don’t deserve them, they deserve so much more. You’re nothing. Absolutely, nothing.’ 

‘I’m sorry…I’m sorry I’m not enough, I’ll try harder. I’ll be better.’ I reply back to the voice in my head. 

‘No matter what you do, you’ll never be good enough for them.’ He chuckles. Tears pour down my face, I blink my eyes open to the bright sunlight. The radiantly shining pain… I look beside me to see Yuri’s bed made… How come she got up before me? I look to my side at my alarm clock, it’s nine!! OH SHOOT! I have to make breakfast for everyone! I’m so late! I rush to the bathroom outside the room to get refreshed….I hear multiple voices from the living room. I quickly brush and walk towards the voices. 

They’re all there…It looks like they’re having a meeting…Without me? A small sob escapes my mouth, I turn away, back pressed against the wall to hide myself before anyone sees me. I cover my mouth with my hand, sobbing into it. 

‘I told you didn’t I? They don’t want you here anymore. That’s why they’re having a meeting… Deciding on how to kick you out.’ He chuckles darkly in my head. 

‘No…You’re lying…’ I whisper back in my head. 

“You know that I’m the only one you can trust, Luna. Everyone else is lying to you. Run. Run away from here. The window isn’t that far away. Let go… Let go of yourself.” It whispers, sending shivers down my spine. My eyes wander towards the window, fully dazed by the possibilities that follow my decision. I take a deep breath and step towards the window when I hear someone call me. 

“Eonni?” Aera’s voice resounds through the room. I look down, putting on a smile, then looking back at them. I throw a small wave at them, walking towards the kitchen. After I make the pancakes, I set them on the dining table, clapping my hands to call them all. They all sit down cautiously, “W-when did you wake up eonni?” Yuri asks. I shrug my shoulders, staring at my plate. 

“Please say something, eonni…” Aera says, hesitantly. I raise my head, glaring at her. She shrinks, “Mianhae.” She bows her head. I pull out my phone, opening up our group chat. 

‘So… What were you guys talking about this morning? Having a family meeting without your eonni?’ I send the text. Aila reads it, “Eonni… You know it wasn’t like that. You were sleeping and we didn’t want to disturb you.” I smirk, ‘Really now?’

“Eonni, that’s not fair. Are we not even allowed to worry about you? You’re not talking anymore… We’re concerned. We’re worried, eonni. We love you, we care about you. Why do you not tell us anything, eonni? Why do you not share anything with us?” Mina says, softly but a little angry. I smile sadly, her words plummeting to my stomach. 

“Do you not love us, eonni?” Ara sobs. I whip my head, turning to her. I rush over to her, gripping her shoulders. 

“H-....How could you s-say that?” I say, softly. 

“You don’t even share anything with us, eonni. And now…You’ve completely stopped talking to us. What else could we think? Mianhaeyo, eonni. Mianhaeyo,” Ara says, wiping her tears. The sight breaks my heart…Ara isn’t someone who shows her emotions often… Whenever she does, we’re all really happy. But if she cries… I turn to look at the others. Everyone except Hana is crying, she looks lost. She tries to comfort the others, they don’t even listen to what she’s saying… She should know…Not to disturb someone when they’re not okay. But she’s only a little girl, we have a lot to teach her. It's okay, our little maknae-ah. 

“I-I’m sorry you guys. Jeong Samnida,” I say bowing down. 

“Eonni! Please don’t! We can’t even be good sisters or even friends to you. We’re the ones who should apologize.” Aila sobs. They all nod. I shake my head. 

“I stopped talking cause I felt that I disappointed you guys… I couldn’t take care of you well. I’m not a good eonni at all.” I say, desperately trying to make them understand. 

“Oh eonni… You take care of us more than anyone ever did..in our entire lives. You’ve stayed up late nursing us when we were sick numerous times, you always cook the best food for us since we miss home, you’ve given us plenty of love and care. You’re…You’re like a mother to us, eonni. A mother…. A sister can apologize eonni...But a mother shouldn’t, especially for taking care of her children.” Aera says, tears pouring down her cheeks. I feel like I’ve been struck by lightning for every word she said. I let out a noisy, and loud sob, opening my arms for them. They all run into my arms, apologizing and kissing, especially tons of crying. I look at Hana, “Welcome to the family….This is normal here. There’s way more to come on our journey ahead.” 

She chuckles sadly, “If it’s with yall, I’d journey all the way to the ends of earth.”  We all smile and coo at her sweet words.