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Chapter 4: Writing Skills

Narrative Essays

  • A narrative essay is an essay that tells a story.

  • Three important factors when it comes to writing narrative essays: setting, characters, and plot.

  • A story should also have a conclusion and a theme.

  • When writing a narrative essay, students should keep in mind the following points.

    • Captivating

      • Capture the reader’s attention by doing more than just telling the story.

      • Keep the reader’s interest by adding details and/or personal observations that invite the reader into the writer’s world.

      • This way, the story is more personal and interesting.

    • Detailed

      • Be sure to include all the essential parts of a story, including a plot, characters, setting, and resolution.

      • Adding internal and external conflicts can make the story more attractive.

      • The details must be carefully thought out to support, explain, and improve the story.

    • Third-person voice

      • A narrative essay is typically written either in the first person, using “我,” or in the third person, using “他,” “她,” or “它.”

  • The Story Narration task tests students’ writing ability in the presentational communication mode.

    • Whether a student receives a good score depends on if he or she is able to write a well-organized story with a clear progression of ideas—namely, a beginning, middle, and end with as much detail as possible.

  • It also depends on whether the student can showcase his or her mastery of proper transitional elements and a cohesive strategy.

Example of Narrative Essay

从前有个⼩偷叫李四。有⼀天,李四看到⼀家⼈的院⼦⾥挂着⼀⼝ ⼤钟。那⼝⼤钟是⽤铜制造的,⼤钟的样⼦和钟上的画⼉都很漂亮。 李四⼼想:要是把这⼝⼤钟偷⾛,然后把它卖掉,⼀定能挣很多钱。 可是钟⼜⼤⼜重,李四怎么搬也搬不动。他想啊想,最后终于想出⼀ 个好办法,那就是把钟打碎,然后再⼀块⼀块地搬回家。

李四找来⼀把⼤锤⼦,⽤⼒朝钟砸去,“咣”的⼀声响,把他吓了⼀ ⼤跳。他想,声⾳这么⼤,不就是告诉⼈们他正在这⾥偷钟了吗?李 四越想越害怕,突然,他想出⼀个主意:要是把⽿朵堵起来,不就听 不到钟的声⾳了吗。李四找东⻄来把两只⽿朵堵起来,果然,他什么 声⾳都听不到了。于是李四放⼼地砸起钟来。

钟声传到了很远的地⽅,⼈们听到钟声后,跑来把李四抓住了。

Narrative Essay Tips

  • The story should contain all three essential factors: plot, characters, and setting.

  • The story should be written in complete paragraphs, with a logically structured content.

  • The story should demonstrate the student’s ability to choose the appropriate vocabulary and to adopt a wide range of grammatical structures.

  • The progression of the story should be narrated with a suitable selection of transitional elements.

  • The story should contain few, if any, typographic errors.

    • Students should avoid mistakes like typing the correct pronunciation but choosing the wrong character, or typing an incorrect pronunciation to start with and consequentially choosing the wrong character.

Conjunctions indication coordination, transition, succession, progression, or causality

and

gēn

and

tóng

and

and

and; as well as

以及

yǐjí

and; as well as

并且

bìngqiě

and; besides

但是

dànshì

but; yet

可是

kěshì

but

不过

búguò

but; however

这样

zhèyàng

so; in this way

那么

nàme

then; in that case

接着

jiēzhe

then; followed by

⽽且

érqiě

and also; moreover

因此

yīncǐ

therefore; so

然后

ránhòu

then; after that; afterwards

于是

yúshì

hence; consequently; as a result

Adverbs indicating time and frequency

不断

búduàn

continuously; constantly

cháng

often; frequently

céng

once; formerly

重新

chóngxīn

again; once more

赶紧

gǎnjǐn

in a hurry

赶快

gǎnkuài

in a hurry

gāng

just

刚才

gāngcái

just now

刚刚

gānggāng

just

后来

hòulái

afterwards

渐渐

jiànjiàn

gradually; little by little

jiāng

be going to; only just; will

将要

jiāngyào

will; close to (a certain period of time)

经常

jīngcháng

often; frequent

jiù

emphasizes that something occurs early

就要

jiùyào

will; shall; close to (a certain of time)

kuài

almost

⽴即

lìjí

immediately; as soon as

屡次

lǚcì

repeatedly; time and again

⻢上

mǎshàng

immediately; at once

其间

qíjiān

meanwhile

然后

ránhòu

then; after that

始终

shǐzhōng

all along

突然

tūrán

suddenly

already

以前

yǐqián

before; formerly

以后

yǐhòu

after; afterwards; later

yòu

again

zài

again; once more

再三

zàisān

over and over

正在

zhèngzài

indicates an action in progress

终于

zhōngyú

finally; at last

总是

zǒngshì

always

总算

zǒngsuàn

at last; finally

最后

zuìhòu

final; in the end


Descriptive Essays

  • A descriptive essay is an essay that describes a person, place, or thing. It can be either objective or subjective.

    • In an objective descriptive essay, students describe physical objects by providing facts, not opinions.

    • In a subjective descriptive essay, students write about what they perceive in all five senses, including details such as height, weight, color, and smell, and their feelings toward the object.

  • Descriptive essay writing techniques may be useful in Story Narration or E-mail Response questions.

  • When writing a descriptive essay, students should keep in mind the following points.

    • A descriptive essay focuses on a person, a place, a memory, an event, or an experience. Students should start with the obvious, then develop and describe.

    • Students should provide plenty of specific descriptions to give readers a complete and vivid perception and impression.

    • Students should choose appropriate words that convey their emotions or perspectives, and use words that appeal to the reader’s senses.

    • Students should create a clear pattern of organization and use a wide range of grammatical structures.

Example: Describing an Animal

我最喜爱的⼩动物是猫,因为猫很漂亮,温和,也很独⽴。

我家有⼀只可爱的⼩猫,我给它起了⼀个有意思的名字叫“⽩胖 胖”,因为它胖胖的⾝上⻓了⼀层⼜⻓⼜软的⽩⽑。⽩胖胖有⼀双⼜⼤ ⼜亮的蓝眼睛和⼀个红红的⼩⿐⼦,让⼈很喜爱。⽩胖胖是⼀只特别 爱⼲净的猫。它每天都要⽤⽖⼦给⾃⼰洗好⼏次脸,每次⼤⼩便也总 会在同⼀个地⽅。⽩胖胖的作息时间跟我完全不⼀样。它⽩天的⼤部 分时间都在我的沙发上或者床下睡觉,因此,我常常骂它是“懒猫”。 到了半夜,我睡觉睡得很⾹的时候,它⼜常常把我吵醒。

我喜欢⽩胖胖,把它看成我⽣活中的⼀个好朋友。

  • In the first sentence, the writer begins with a confession that cats are his favorite animal, because they are “漂亮,温 和,也很独⽴”.

  • Then, the writer describes his lovely cat with specific details, such as its appearance, daily routine, and habits.

  • The conclusion paragraph summarizes the writer’s sentiment about the cat: “把它看成我⽣活中的⼀个好朋友”.

Example: Describing an Place

这是我的房间,它是我在⼤学居住和学习的地⽅。

我的房间在⼤楼的第⼆层。房间的前⾯有⼀个⼤窗⼾,窗⼾的下⾯ 是我的书桌,书桌的前边有⼀把椅⼦,书桌上⾯放着⼀个笔记本电 脑,电脑的旁边有⼀个漂亮的⼩台灯。书桌的右边放着⼀个很⼤的书 架,书架上边有很多英⽂书,也有⼏本中⽂书。书桌的左边是⼀个⼩ 沙发,沙发上放满了⾐服。床放在房间的右边,床对⾯的墙上有⼀幅 ⼤照⽚,照⽚⾥⾯是⼀个漂亮的⼥孩⼦,那是我的朋友给我照的。照 ⽚的下⾯有⼀个⼩柜⼦,柜⼦上放着⼀台⼩⼩的电视机。我学习累 了,就看⼀会⼉电视。

我的房间不太⼤,也不太整⻬,但是我很喜欢它。我总是把它打扫 得很⼲净。

  • Writing a descriptive essay requires students to master a variety of descriptive vocabulary and appropriate expressions.

  • A wide-ranging vocabulary helps students create vivid images and enhance readers’ interest in the essay.

  • Adjectives, prepositions, directional words, directional complements, descriptive complements, and sentences are very important and practical for writing this type of essay.

Example: Describing a Person

王丽丽是⼀个17岁的⼥孩⼦,个⼦不⾼也不矮,看起来有⼀点⼉ 胖。丽丽的眼睛⼜⼤⼜亮,嘴唇⼉红红的。她的⾝上穿着⼀件蓝⾊的 T恤衫,下⾯配的是⼀条⽜仔裤,脚上穿著⼀双⽩⾊的运动鞋。她的 肩上背着⼀个漂亮的⼩包,⼿⾥拿着⼏本书。丽丽不仅⼈⻓得漂亮, 还是⼀个对别⼈特别好的⼥孩⼦。

Descriptive Essay Writing Tips

  • When planning, students should know what or whom they want to describe and the particular qualities they will focus on.

  • When drafting, students should consider the importance of the senses and include details that give readers a vivid impression.

  • When revising, students should add sufficient details and descriptions.

  • Finally, students should make sure that the essay focuses on one topic and that it is structured in the most effective way.


Expository Essay

  • An expository essay shares, explains, suggests, or explores information and ideas without any bias.

  • The function of the expository essay is to present other people’s views or to report an event or situation. The expository essay should:

    • Capture the significance of the topic.

    • Be aware of the audience.

    • Make sure that the facts, especially numerical data regarding quantity, level, quality, and space, are accurate.

    • Introduce knowledge without being too literal.

    • Organize information well.

Example

鸭⼦烤好以后,烤鸭店的师傅把⼀辆⼩⻋推到餐桌的旁边,他要在 顾客⾯前为他们⽚烤鸭。师傅先让顾客看看完整的鸭⼦,然后⽤⼀把 特别的⼑⼦,把鸭⼦连⽪带⾁⼀⽚⼀⽚地⽚下来,再把⽚好的鸭⾁整 ⻬地摆在⼀个盘⼦⾥,最后把盘⼦端到顾客的桌⼦上。盘中的鸭⾁, 每⼀⽚上都带⽪,⾁薄得像纸⼀样。师傅还会把剩下的鸭架⼦拿回厨 房,把它做成⼀锅味道鲜美的鸭汤。

吃烤鸭有很多讲究。顾客拿起⼀张薄饼,把它铺在⼀只⼿上,再⽤ 筷⼦夹起鸭⾁,蘸⼀点⼉甜⾯酱,把鸭⾁放到薄饼上,然后夹上⼏根 葱丝和⻩⽠条⼉,最后⽤另⼀只⼿把它们卷起来。如果顾客⼀只⼿卷 不好,也可以把饼放到盘⼦⾥,⽤两只⼿来卷。

  • This essay is very specific and easy to understand.

  • The verbs used in the essay were carefully chosen.

  • For example, the author uses “ ⽚ ” (carve) instead of “切” (cut), which shows the quality of the cutting; the writer also uses “铺”, “夹”, “蘸,” “放,” and “卷” to explain eating ducks.

    • Each of those verbs indicates a specific action.

  • The nouns and measure words are very appropriate, such as “葱丝”, “⻩⽠条⼉”, “⼀辆⼩⻋”, “⼀把⼑⼦,” “⼀ 锅鸭汤”, and “⼀张薄饼”.

  • The writer uses idioms, such as “⾁薄如纸” (which is actually a simile) and “味道鲜美”, to make the descriptions vivid. Note that the author also uses the “把” sentence structure a couple of times: “把鸭⼦⽚ 下来”, “把饼铺在⼀只⼿上”, “把鸭⾁放到薄饼上”, and (“把它卷起来”.

  • Another sentence structure used in the essay is a resultative complement construction, as in “烤好,” “⽚下来,” “拿回,” “熬成,” “拿起,” “夹 起”, “夹上”, and “卷起来”, which describes the actions accurately and vividly.

  • “把” sentences and resultative complement constructions are commonly used in expository essays.

Expository Essay Writing Tips

  • The thesis statement should be defined narrowly enough to be supportable within the essay.

  • Each supporting paragraph should have a distinct controlling topic and all other sentences should be data directly and factually supporting the topic. Transitional elements and cohesive devices should help the reader follow along and support the essay’s logic.

  • The concluding paragraph should restate the thesis and the main ideas.

  • The essay should finish with a statement that reinforces the key topics.

  • New material should never be introduced in the conclusion.


Persuasive Essay

  • A persuasive essay tries to prove a point by making a logical, ethical, and emotional appeal to readers.

    • Persuasive essays present information about a controversial subject and also an argument debating the pros and cons of the subject.

    • The author has to clearly take a stand and write as if he or she is trying to persuade an opposing audience to accept new beliefs.

Example

Given Email:

发件⼈:陈军

邮件主题:中学⽣追星好不好

中学⽣追星已经成为⼀种潮流,也是校园中的⼀个热门话题。有些 ⼈觉得追星对⻘年学⽣的学习及⽣活都造成不好的影响,有些⼈认为 追星可以帮助学⽣树⽴学习、⽣活⽬标,利于培养学⽣的兴趣与爱 好。你是⼀个追星族吗?谈谈你追星的经历或者对追星这个问题的看 法。谢谢!

Response

随着社会的变化和科技的发展以及电影、电视的影响,年轻学⽣总 是⾛在时代的前⾯。如果你认真观察,你就会发现,⾛在最前⾯的往 往都是我们中学⽣。但是我⾝边的同学,因为追星⽽影响了学习的⼈ 不在少数。

⼀些同学的⾐服上、书包上、⼿机上都挂有⼀些明星的照⽚。宿舍 的墙上,也常常能看到明星们照⽚:有电影明星,歌星,运动员什么 的。在教室⾥,⼀些学⽣⼝中念的不是中⽂课⽂,也不是英语⽣词, ⽽是流⾏歌曲。这些影迷、歌迷们,为了追星,花了很多钱和时间。 还有⼀些学⽣学着明星的⾔语、动作和打扮,完全没有了⾃⼰的个 性。这些学⽣完全不考虑因为追星⽽影响了学习怎么办。

我从来都没有追过哪位明星,因为我觉得中学⽣追星有很多坏处。 追星不但花了很多钱,也浪费了不少时间。中学⽣追星的钱⼤多是⽗ ⺟给的。俗话说:⼀⼨光阴⼀⼨⾦,⼨⾦难买⼨光阴。追星的中学⽣ 们把学习的时间都⽤在追星上,实在太可惜了。学⽣时代的主要任务 是学知识,再说,为了追星⽽失去了⾃⼰的个性,也就是⽣活失去了 ⾃⼰的⽬标。

也许会有⼀些学⽣觉得,学⽣学习负担那么重,在课余时间追星可 以让⾃⼰放松。很多⼈喜欢成⻰,成⻰的吃苦精神会给学⽣带来好的 影响。但是在现实⽣活中,学⽣追星并不是被他们的精神所感动,⽽ 是被他们的外貌和歌声所吸引。所以我觉得中学⽣追星没有好处。

中学时代是摄取知识最好的时代。如果为了追星⽽失去⾃⼰学习的 机会,以后后悔也来不及了。到那时不但对不起⾃⼰,也对不起⽗ ⺟,更不⽤说将来到社会上与⼈竞争了。所以说,我劝那些盲⽬追星 的同学们赶快停⽌追星吧!

Persuasive Essay Writing Tips

  • The conditional sentence structure using “假如” (if–then). This structure usually describes a hypothetical case.

  • The sentence structure with “可是,” “但是,” or “然⽽.” This structure may appear to agree with the opposing view in the first sentence, but turns the argument around completely using “可是,” “但是,” or “然⽽.”

  • The rhetorical sentence structure with “难道”. This structure usually emphasizes a key point.

Adding Information

并且

bìngqiě

and

不但…⽽且

búdàn . . . érqiě

not only . . . but also

hái

also; still

⽽且

érqiě

moreover; furthermore

此外

cǐwài

moreover; furthermore (more formal)

另外

lìngwài

in addition (more formal)

Giving Examples

例如

lìrú

for example; for instance

以…为例

yǐ . . . wéilì

for example

特别是…

tèbiéshì

specifically; in particular

⾸先

shǒuxiān

first

其次

qícì

second; another

最后

zuìhòu

last; finally

第⼀

dìyī

the first

第⼆

dì’èr

the second

Showing a Contrast

但是

dànshì

but

可是

kěshì

but

不过

búguò

however; but

⼀⽅⾯

yì fāngmiàn

on the one hand

另⼀⽅⾯

lìng yì fāngmiàn

on the other hand

否则

fǒuzé

otherwise (formal)

要不然

yàoburán

otherwise

相反

xiāngfǎn

in contrast

反之

fǎnzhī

otherwise; in contrast (more formal)

反⽽

fǎn’ér

instead; on the contrary; but

Showing a Concession

然⽽

rán’ér

however; nevertheless; yet (more formal)

但是

dànshì

yet

仍然

réngrán

nevertheless (more formal)

虽然

suīrán

even; although

虽然如此

suīrán rúcǐ

even so

尽管

jǐnguǎn

although; despite

即使

jíshǐ

even though

Showing a Similarity

同样

tóngyàng

likewise

与此同时

yǔcǐ tóngshí

similarly (more formal)

Showing a Result

那么

nàme

so

因此

yīncǐ

so; therefore; consequently

所以

suǒyǐ

therefore

因⽽

yīn’ér

thus (more formal)

结果

jiéguǒ

as a consequence; as a result

从⽽

cóng’ér

consequently (more formal)

Showing a Supposition

是否

shìfǒu

whether . . . or

假如

jiǎrú

if …. then

如果

rúguǒ

if

要是

yàoshì

if

Explaining or Emphasizing

实际上

shíjìshang

in fact; actually

换句话说

huàn jùhuàshuō

in other words

换⾔之

huànyánzhī

in other words (more formal)

也就是

yějiùshì

namely

namely (more formal)

Giving an Alternative

huò

or

或者…或者

huòzhě

either . . . or

既不…也不

jìbù . . . yěbù

neither . . . nor


Writing Strategies

  • Applying a variety of grammatical structures correctly increases the likelihood of scoring high marks. Double-check the Chinese characters, as incorrect homonyms may obscure the original intent. Keep in mind that:

    • Adding too much unnecessary information may waste precious time that you will need to complete the task.

    • Practice writing on a variety of topics. Be creative and flexible when selecting essay types.

    • Regardless of the writing prompts, stay on topic and provide supporting details or specific examples whenever possible.

    • Avoid repetition by applying a rich variety of vocabulary, idioms, and grammatical structures.

Common Writing Mistakes

  1. The writing style or language is incorrect.

  2. The essay is off-topic.

  3. The logic is unclear.

  4. Grammatical errors obscure meanings.

Subject/Verb Disagreement

每天早上,同学们在学校的操场上奔驰。

  • The noun “同学们” and the verb “奔驰” in the sentence “同学们奔驰” disagree.

  • The verb “奔 驰” means “horses run fast”; this word can also refer to a car, but not to a person. Students should use “跑步” or “奔跑” instead

狂⻛暴⾬下了起来,但是我的同屋还是赶到学校去上课。

  • The subject in the first part is not clear. The verb “下” should be paired with “暴⾬,” not “狂⻛”

  • To correct this sentence, students should get rid of “狂⻛”, which changes the sentence to “暴⾬下了起來.”

  • Another way to fix this sentence is to add another verb, “ 刮 ,” which changes the original sentence into “狂⻛刮 起来,暴⾬下起来”.

很多公司和⼯作的职位歧视⼥⼈。

  • The subject in the sentence is not clear. The verb (“歧视” should be paired with “公司,” not “职位”.

  • To correct this sentence, address “公司,” and “职位” separately.

  • This changes the sentence to “很多公司歧视⼥⼈, 不给她们⼯作的职位”.

Verb/Object Disagreement

在访问期间,我们还参观了他们中学⽣科技⼩组设计⽹⻚的经验。

  • “参观…经验” is the part that disagrees in this sentence because “参观” cannot apply to “经验”.

  • Instead, the sentence should be “在访问期间,我们参观了他们中学⽣ 科技⼩组,并且 享了他们设计⽹⻚的经验”.

到了美丽的太平洋边,我迫不及待地张开嘴巴尽情呼吸着海⽔、阳 光和新鲜的空⽓。

  • “海⽔” and “阳光” cannot be used with “呼吸.”

  • Each object should be given its own verb.

  • The original sentence is corrected to read “到了美丽的太平洋边,我对着海⽔,迎着阳 光,迫不及待地张开嘴巴尽情地呼吸着新鲜的空⽓”.

Misplaced Modifiers

我们每个⼈都有⼀双聪明能⼲的⼿,为什么还要靠⽗⺟呢?

  • The noun “⼿” can be modified by “能⼲的”, not “聪 明”.

  • “聪明” should be deleted.

中学时代打下的基础知识,为以后上⼤学创造了条件。

  • The verb phrase “中学时代打下的” used as a modifier does not match the noun, i.e., “知识” cannot be “打下.” There are two ways to correct the sentence:

    1. “打下” is changed to “掌握” or “学到” as the modifier of “基础知识”

    2. “知识” is deleted. The correct sentence would be “中学时代打下的基础,为 以后上⼤学创造了条件”.

他⼝⼝声声地欺骗了⼤家,却还说是为了⼤家好。

  • The idiom “⼝⼝声声” indicates keeping on saying, and the word “欺骗” means deceiving, so “⼝⼝声声” cannot modify “欺骗”.

  • “⼝⼝声声” can be replaced by “三番兩次.

Redundancy and Fragments

从⼤量的事实中告诉我们,要想今后找到⼀个好⼯作,必须在中学 时代就打好基础。

  • This sentence is a fragment because it is missing a subject.

  • Deleting “从” and “中” can fix this problem, as “⼤量的事实” becomes the subject.

在美国的公司不给⼤家买保险。

  • This sentence is a fragment because it uses prepositions instead of a subject. Deleting “在” fixes this problem.

Missing Modifiers

中国朋友告诉我,在中国要想考上⼤学,必须付出劳动。

  • “劳动” needs a modifier to express that getting into college is extremely hard.

  • The absence of “艰苦的” before “劳 动” in the sentence makes it seem that getting into college is easy.

去年圣诞节,⽗⺟给姐姐、弟弟和我都送了我们喜爱的礼物。我们 三个⼈的礼物是⼀双漂亮的⽪鞋,⼀个游戏机和⼀个新书包。

  • The second sentence is missing the word “分別,” respectively.

  • This mistake may cause confusion (it is unknown which gift is given to whom) or a misunderstanding (each person receives all three things).

  • The correct sentence is “我们三个⼈的礼物分别是⼀双漂亮的⽪鞋,⼀个游戏机 和⼀个新书包”.

Redundant Modifiers

在回家的路上,发⽣了⼀件不⼤但是让我难以忘记的⼩事。

  • “不⼤” and “⼩” have the same meaning.

  • Deleting either one of the modifiers fixes the redundancy problem.

经过多次反复地实验,我们终于成功了。

  • “多次” and “反复” have the same meaning.

  • Deleting either one of the modifiers eliminates the redundancy.

Incorrect Word Order

你可以买医疗保险从政府、学校、公司。

  • The word order in this sentence is incorrect because, in Chinese, the modifier cannot be placed at the end of the sentence.

  • The correct sentence is “你可以从政府、学校、公 司买医疗保险”.

Conjunction Mistakes

美国的交通不很⽅便,得经常坐⻜机。要不是就坐⽕⻋就是公共汽 ⻋。

  • In the second sentence, the writer confuses “要不是” with “要不然,” and “就是” with “或者.” “要不是” has a hypothetical meaning, which does not fit the context.

  • The correct sentence is “美国的交通不很⽅便,得经常 坐⻜机。要不然就坐⽕⻋或者公共汽⻋。”

其实我⼀直认为,只有天天运动,少吃⼀点⼉⾁,就不会太胖。

  • Both “只有 … 才” and “只要 … 就” describe conditions, but “只有 … 才” tends to be limiting and negative (it won’t happen unless) while “只要…就” tends to be expansive and positive (it will happen as long as).

  • Here, the context and logic call for “只要,” not “只有.”

Pronoun Mistakes

如果她们嫁⼈了,她的丈夫就不会帮她们。

  • In this sentence, the writer confuses plural and singular words.

  • Changing “她的丈夫” to “她们的丈夫” fixes the problem.

Misuse of Measure Words

她的两个哥哥是从美国东岸的同⼀家有名的⼤学毕业的。

  • The measure word is misused. Instead of “家,” it should be“所.”

那家服裝店裏的東⻄打折,⼩美⼀下⼦買了好幾件襯衫和⽜仔 褲。

  • The author only provides a measure word for the first object, but leaves out the measure word for the second object.

  • Adding “⼏条” for the second object fixes the problem.

Misuse of Idioms and Proverbs

春节期间,我们家家⼾⼾过着花天酒地的⽇⼦。

  • The author misuses “花天酒地” to describe the spring festival because this idiom has a negative connotation.

  • Changing it to “喜⽓洋洋” fixes the problem.

Mistranslations

在美国,男⼈做钱⽐⼥⼈多。

  • The writer translates “make money” into Chinese as “做钱”.

  • However “做钱” in Chinese means making counterfeit money.

  • The correct translation is “挣钱” or “赚钱”.

可是贵⼈有医疗保险。

  • The writer translates “rich people” to “贵⼈”.

  • However, “贵⼈”)means a person with power or with influence over people.

  • The correct translation is “富⼈” or “有钱⼈”

Unprofessional Language

在可是貴很多⼈覺得,帶孩⼦是⼥的的事,可是他們不想想,如果沒有⼥ 的,我們就完了。

  • Written formal language doesn’t allow for words such as “帶孩⼦,” “⼥的,” and “完了.”

  • Substitute them with the more formal terms “照 顾孩⼦”, “⼥性,” and “⽆法⽣存”.

Chapter 5: Speaking Skills

MA

Chapter 4: Writing Skills

Narrative Essays

  • A narrative essay is an essay that tells a story.

  • Three important factors when it comes to writing narrative essays: setting, characters, and plot.

  • A story should also have a conclusion and a theme.

  • When writing a narrative essay, students should keep in mind the following points.

    • Captivating

      • Capture the reader’s attention by doing more than just telling the story.

      • Keep the reader’s interest by adding details and/or personal observations that invite the reader into the writer’s world.

      • This way, the story is more personal and interesting.

    • Detailed

      • Be sure to include all the essential parts of a story, including a plot, characters, setting, and resolution.

      • Adding internal and external conflicts can make the story more attractive.

      • The details must be carefully thought out to support, explain, and improve the story.

    • Third-person voice

      • A narrative essay is typically written either in the first person, using “我,” or in the third person, using “他,” “她,” or “它.”

  • The Story Narration task tests students’ writing ability in the presentational communication mode.

    • Whether a student receives a good score depends on if he or she is able to write a well-organized story with a clear progression of ideas—namely, a beginning, middle, and end with as much detail as possible.

  • It also depends on whether the student can showcase his or her mastery of proper transitional elements and a cohesive strategy.

Example of Narrative Essay

从前有个⼩偷叫李四。有⼀天,李四看到⼀家⼈的院⼦⾥挂着⼀⼝ ⼤钟。那⼝⼤钟是⽤铜制造的,⼤钟的样⼦和钟上的画⼉都很漂亮。 李四⼼想:要是把这⼝⼤钟偷⾛,然后把它卖掉,⼀定能挣很多钱。 可是钟⼜⼤⼜重,李四怎么搬也搬不动。他想啊想,最后终于想出⼀ 个好办法,那就是把钟打碎,然后再⼀块⼀块地搬回家。

李四找来⼀把⼤锤⼦,⽤⼒朝钟砸去,“咣”的⼀声响,把他吓了⼀ ⼤跳。他想,声⾳这么⼤,不就是告诉⼈们他正在这⾥偷钟了吗?李 四越想越害怕,突然,他想出⼀个主意:要是把⽿朵堵起来,不就听 不到钟的声⾳了吗。李四找东⻄来把两只⽿朵堵起来,果然,他什么 声⾳都听不到了。于是李四放⼼地砸起钟来。

钟声传到了很远的地⽅,⼈们听到钟声后,跑来把李四抓住了。

Narrative Essay Tips

  • The story should contain all three essential factors: plot, characters, and setting.

  • The story should be written in complete paragraphs, with a logically structured content.

  • The story should demonstrate the student’s ability to choose the appropriate vocabulary and to adopt a wide range of grammatical structures.

  • The progression of the story should be narrated with a suitable selection of transitional elements.

  • The story should contain few, if any, typographic errors.

    • Students should avoid mistakes like typing the correct pronunciation but choosing the wrong character, or typing an incorrect pronunciation to start with and consequentially choosing the wrong character.

Conjunctions indication coordination, transition, succession, progression, or causality

and

gēn

and

tóng

and

and

and; as well as

以及

yǐjí

and; as well as

并且

bìngqiě

and; besides

但是

dànshì

but; yet

可是

kěshì

but

不过

búguò

but; however

这样

zhèyàng

so; in this way

那么

nàme

then; in that case

接着

jiēzhe

then; followed by

⽽且

érqiě

and also; moreover

因此

yīncǐ

therefore; so

然后

ránhòu

then; after that; afterwards

于是

yúshì

hence; consequently; as a result

Adverbs indicating time and frequency

不断

búduàn

continuously; constantly

cháng

often; frequently

céng

once; formerly

重新

chóngxīn

again; once more

赶紧

gǎnjǐn

in a hurry

赶快

gǎnkuài

in a hurry

gāng

just

刚才

gāngcái

just now

刚刚

gānggāng

just

后来

hòulái

afterwards

渐渐

jiànjiàn

gradually; little by little

jiāng

be going to; only just; will

将要

jiāngyào

will; close to (a certain period of time)

经常

jīngcháng

often; frequent

jiù

emphasizes that something occurs early

就要

jiùyào

will; shall; close to (a certain of time)

kuài

almost

⽴即

lìjí

immediately; as soon as

屡次

lǚcì

repeatedly; time and again

⻢上

mǎshàng

immediately; at once

其间

qíjiān

meanwhile

然后

ránhòu

then; after that

始终

shǐzhōng

all along

突然

tūrán

suddenly

already

以前

yǐqián

before; formerly

以后

yǐhòu

after; afterwards; later

yòu

again

zài

again; once more

再三

zàisān

over and over

正在

zhèngzài

indicates an action in progress

终于

zhōngyú

finally; at last

总是

zǒngshì

always

总算

zǒngsuàn

at last; finally

最后

zuìhòu

final; in the end


Descriptive Essays

  • A descriptive essay is an essay that describes a person, place, or thing. It can be either objective or subjective.

    • In an objective descriptive essay, students describe physical objects by providing facts, not opinions.

    • In a subjective descriptive essay, students write about what they perceive in all five senses, including details such as height, weight, color, and smell, and their feelings toward the object.

  • Descriptive essay writing techniques may be useful in Story Narration or E-mail Response questions.

  • When writing a descriptive essay, students should keep in mind the following points.

    • A descriptive essay focuses on a person, a place, a memory, an event, or an experience. Students should start with the obvious, then develop and describe.

    • Students should provide plenty of specific descriptions to give readers a complete and vivid perception and impression.

    • Students should choose appropriate words that convey their emotions or perspectives, and use words that appeal to the reader’s senses.

    • Students should create a clear pattern of organization and use a wide range of grammatical structures.

Example: Describing an Animal

我最喜爱的⼩动物是猫,因为猫很漂亮,温和,也很独⽴。

我家有⼀只可爱的⼩猫,我给它起了⼀个有意思的名字叫“⽩胖 胖”,因为它胖胖的⾝上⻓了⼀层⼜⻓⼜软的⽩⽑。⽩胖胖有⼀双⼜⼤ ⼜亮的蓝眼睛和⼀个红红的⼩⿐⼦,让⼈很喜爱。⽩胖胖是⼀只特别 爱⼲净的猫。它每天都要⽤⽖⼦给⾃⼰洗好⼏次脸,每次⼤⼩便也总 会在同⼀个地⽅。⽩胖胖的作息时间跟我完全不⼀样。它⽩天的⼤部 分时间都在我的沙发上或者床下睡觉,因此,我常常骂它是“懒猫”。 到了半夜,我睡觉睡得很⾹的时候,它⼜常常把我吵醒。

我喜欢⽩胖胖,把它看成我⽣活中的⼀个好朋友。

  • In the first sentence, the writer begins with a confession that cats are his favorite animal, because they are “漂亮,温 和,也很独⽴”.

  • Then, the writer describes his lovely cat with specific details, such as its appearance, daily routine, and habits.

  • The conclusion paragraph summarizes the writer’s sentiment about the cat: “把它看成我⽣活中的⼀个好朋友”.

Example: Describing an Place

这是我的房间,它是我在⼤学居住和学习的地⽅。

我的房间在⼤楼的第⼆层。房间的前⾯有⼀个⼤窗⼾,窗⼾的下⾯ 是我的书桌,书桌的前边有⼀把椅⼦,书桌上⾯放着⼀个笔记本电 脑,电脑的旁边有⼀个漂亮的⼩台灯。书桌的右边放着⼀个很⼤的书 架,书架上边有很多英⽂书,也有⼏本中⽂书。书桌的左边是⼀个⼩ 沙发,沙发上放满了⾐服。床放在房间的右边,床对⾯的墙上有⼀幅 ⼤照⽚,照⽚⾥⾯是⼀个漂亮的⼥孩⼦,那是我的朋友给我照的。照 ⽚的下⾯有⼀个⼩柜⼦,柜⼦上放着⼀台⼩⼩的电视机。我学习累 了,就看⼀会⼉电视。

我的房间不太⼤,也不太整⻬,但是我很喜欢它。我总是把它打扫 得很⼲净。

  • Writing a descriptive essay requires students to master a variety of descriptive vocabulary and appropriate expressions.

  • A wide-ranging vocabulary helps students create vivid images and enhance readers’ interest in the essay.

  • Adjectives, prepositions, directional words, directional complements, descriptive complements, and sentences are very important and practical for writing this type of essay.

Example: Describing a Person

王丽丽是⼀个17岁的⼥孩⼦,个⼦不⾼也不矮,看起来有⼀点⼉ 胖。丽丽的眼睛⼜⼤⼜亮,嘴唇⼉红红的。她的⾝上穿着⼀件蓝⾊的 T恤衫,下⾯配的是⼀条⽜仔裤,脚上穿著⼀双⽩⾊的运动鞋。她的 肩上背着⼀个漂亮的⼩包,⼿⾥拿着⼏本书。丽丽不仅⼈⻓得漂亮, 还是⼀个对别⼈特别好的⼥孩⼦。

Descriptive Essay Writing Tips

  • When planning, students should know what or whom they want to describe and the particular qualities they will focus on.

  • When drafting, students should consider the importance of the senses and include details that give readers a vivid impression.

  • When revising, students should add sufficient details and descriptions.

  • Finally, students should make sure that the essay focuses on one topic and that it is structured in the most effective way.


Expository Essay

  • An expository essay shares, explains, suggests, or explores information and ideas without any bias.

  • The function of the expository essay is to present other people’s views or to report an event or situation. The expository essay should:

    • Capture the significance of the topic.

    • Be aware of the audience.

    • Make sure that the facts, especially numerical data regarding quantity, level, quality, and space, are accurate.

    • Introduce knowledge without being too literal.

    • Organize information well.

Example

鸭⼦烤好以后,烤鸭店的师傅把⼀辆⼩⻋推到餐桌的旁边,他要在 顾客⾯前为他们⽚烤鸭。师傅先让顾客看看完整的鸭⼦,然后⽤⼀把 特别的⼑⼦,把鸭⼦连⽪带⾁⼀⽚⼀⽚地⽚下来,再把⽚好的鸭⾁整 ⻬地摆在⼀个盘⼦⾥,最后把盘⼦端到顾客的桌⼦上。盘中的鸭⾁, 每⼀⽚上都带⽪,⾁薄得像纸⼀样。师傅还会把剩下的鸭架⼦拿回厨 房,把它做成⼀锅味道鲜美的鸭汤。

吃烤鸭有很多讲究。顾客拿起⼀张薄饼,把它铺在⼀只⼿上,再⽤ 筷⼦夹起鸭⾁,蘸⼀点⼉甜⾯酱,把鸭⾁放到薄饼上,然后夹上⼏根 葱丝和⻩⽠条⼉,最后⽤另⼀只⼿把它们卷起来。如果顾客⼀只⼿卷 不好,也可以把饼放到盘⼦⾥,⽤两只⼿来卷。

  • This essay is very specific and easy to understand.

  • The verbs used in the essay were carefully chosen.

  • For example, the author uses “ ⽚ ” (carve) instead of “切” (cut), which shows the quality of the cutting; the writer also uses “铺”, “夹”, “蘸,” “放,” and “卷” to explain eating ducks.

    • Each of those verbs indicates a specific action.

  • The nouns and measure words are very appropriate, such as “葱丝”, “⻩⽠条⼉”, “⼀辆⼩⻋”, “⼀把⼑⼦,” “⼀ 锅鸭汤”, and “⼀张薄饼”.

  • The writer uses idioms, such as “⾁薄如纸” (which is actually a simile) and “味道鲜美”, to make the descriptions vivid. Note that the author also uses the “把” sentence structure a couple of times: “把鸭⼦⽚ 下来”, “把饼铺在⼀只⼿上”, “把鸭⾁放到薄饼上”, and (“把它卷起来”.

  • Another sentence structure used in the essay is a resultative complement construction, as in “烤好,” “⽚下来,” “拿回,” “熬成,” “拿起,” “夹 起”, “夹上”, and “卷起来”, which describes the actions accurately and vividly.

  • “把” sentences and resultative complement constructions are commonly used in expository essays.

Expository Essay Writing Tips

  • The thesis statement should be defined narrowly enough to be supportable within the essay.

  • Each supporting paragraph should have a distinct controlling topic and all other sentences should be data directly and factually supporting the topic. Transitional elements and cohesive devices should help the reader follow along and support the essay’s logic.

  • The concluding paragraph should restate the thesis and the main ideas.

  • The essay should finish with a statement that reinforces the key topics.

  • New material should never be introduced in the conclusion.


Persuasive Essay

  • A persuasive essay tries to prove a point by making a logical, ethical, and emotional appeal to readers.

    • Persuasive essays present information about a controversial subject and also an argument debating the pros and cons of the subject.

    • The author has to clearly take a stand and write as if he or she is trying to persuade an opposing audience to accept new beliefs.

Example

Given Email:

发件⼈:陈军

邮件主题:中学⽣追星好不好

中学⽣追星已经成为⼀种潮流,也是校园中的⼀个热门话题。有些 ⼈觉得追星对⻘年学⽣的学习及⽣活都造成不好的影响,有些⼈认为 追星可以帮助学⽣树⽴学习、⽣活⽬标,利于培养学⽣的兴趣与爱 好。你是⼀个追星族吗?谈谈你追星的经历或者对追星这个问题的看 法。谢谢!

Response

随着社会的变化和科技的发展以及电影、电视的影响,年轻学⽣总 是⾛在时代的前⾯。如果你认真观察,你就会发现,⾛在最前⾯的往 往都是我们中学⽣。但是我⾝边的同学,因为追星⽽影响了学习的⼈ 不在少数。

⼀些同学的⾐服上、书包上、⼿机上都挂有⼀些明星的照⽚。宿舍 的墙上,也常常能看到明星们照⽚:有电影明星,歌星,运动员什么 的。在教室⾥,⼀些学⽣⼝中念的不是中⽂课⽂,也不是英语⽣词, ⽽是流⾏歌曲。这些影迷、歌迷们,为了追星,花了很多钱和时间。 还有⼀些学⽣学着明星的⾔语、动作和打扮,完全没有了⾃⼰的个 性。这些学⽣完全不考虑因为追星⽽影响了学习怎么办。

我从来都没有追过哪位明星,因为我觉得中学⽣追星有很多坏处。 追星不但花了很多钱,也浪费了不少时间。中学⽣追星的钱⼤多是⽗ ⺟给的。俗话说:⼀⼨光阴⼀⼨⾦,⼨⾦难买⼨光阴。追星的中学⽣ 们把学习的时间都⽤在追星上,实在太可惜了。学⽣时代的主要任务 是学知识,再说,为了追星⽽失去了⾃⼰的个性,也就是⽣活失去了 ⾃⼰的⽬标。

也许会有⼀些学⽣觉得,学⽣学习负担那么重,在课余时间追星可 以让⾃⼰放松。很多⼈喜欢成⻰,成⻰的吃苦精神会给学⽣带来好的 影响。但是在现实⽣活中,学⽣追星并不是被他们的精神所感动,⽽ 是被他们的外貌和歌声所吸引。所以我觉得中学⽣追星没有好处。

中学时代是摄取知识最好的时代。如果为了追星⽽失去⾃⼰学习的 机会,以后后悔也来不及了。到那时不但对不起⾃⼰,也对不起⽗ ⺟,更不⽤说将来到社会上与⼈竞争了。所以说,我劝那些盲⽬追星 的同学们赶快停⽌追星吧!

Persuasive Essay Writing Tips

  • The conditional sentence structure using “假如” (if–then). This structure usually describes a hypothetical case.

  • The sentence structure with “可是,” “但是,” or “然⽽.” This structure may appear to agree with the opposing view in the first sentence, but turns the argument around completely using “可是,” “但是,” or “然⽽.”

  • The rhetorical sentence structure with “难道”. This structure usually emphasizes a key point.

Adding Information

并且

bìngqiě

and

不但…⽽且

búdàn . . . érqiě

not only . . . but also

hái

also; still

⽽且

érqiě

moreover; furthermore

此外

cǐwài

moreover; furthermore (more formal)

另外

lìngwài

in addition (more formal)

Giving Examples

例如

lìrú

for example; for instance

以…为例

yǐ . . . wéilì

for example

特别是…

tèbiéshì

specifically; in particular

⾸先

shǒuxiān

first

其次

qícì

second; another

最后

zuìhòu

last; finally

第⼀

dìyī

the first

第⼆

dì’èr

the second

Showing a Contrast

但是

dànshì

but

可是

kěshì

but

不过

búguò

however; but

⼀⽅⾯

yì fāngmiàn

on the one hand

另⼀⽅⾯

lìng yì fāngmiàn

on the other hand

否则

fǒuzé

otherwise (formal)

要不然

yàoburán

otherwise

相反

xiāngfǎn

in contrast

反之

fǎnzhī

otherwise; in contrast (more formal)

反⽽

fǎn’ér

instead; on the contrary; but

Showing a Concession

然⽽

rán’ér

however; nevertheless; yet (more formal)

但是

dànshì

yet

仍然

réngrán

nevertheless (more formal)

虽然

suīrán

even; although

虽然如此

suīrán rúcǐ

even so

尽管

jǐnguǎn

although; despite

即使

jíshǐ

even though

Showing a Similarity

同样

tóngyàng

likewise

与此同时

yǔcǐ tóngshí

similarly (more formal)

Showing a Result

那么

nàme

so

因此

yīncǐ

so; therefore; consequently

所以

suǒyǐ

therefore

因⽽

yīn’ér

thus (more formal)

结果

jiéguǒ

as a consequence; as a result

从⽽

cóng’ér

consequently (more formal)

Showing a Supposition

是否

shìfǒu

whether . . . or

假如

jiǎrú

if …. then

如果

rúguǒ

if

要是

yàoshì

if

Explaining or Emphasizing

实际上

shíjìshang

in fact; actually

换句话说

huàn jùhuàshuō

in other words

换⾔之

huànyánzhī

in other words (more formal)

也就是

yějiùshì

namely

namely (more formal)

Giving an Alternative

huò

or

或者…或者

huòzhě

either . . . or

既不…也不

jìbù . . . yěbù

neither . . . nor


Writing Strategies

  • Applying a variety of grammatical structures correctly increases the likelihood of scoring high marks. Double-check the Chinese characters, as incorrect homonyms may obscure the original intent. Keep in mind that:

    • Adding too much unnecessary information may waste precious time that you will need to complete the task.

    • Practice writing on a variety of topics. Be creative and flexible when selecting essay types.

    • Regardless of the writing prompts, stay on topic and provide supporting details or specific examples whenever possible.

    • Avoid repetition by applying a rich variety of vocabulary, idioms, and grammatical structures.

Common Writing Mistakes

  1. The writing style or language is incorrect.

  2. The essay is off-topic.

  3. The logic is unclear.

  4. Grammatical errors obscure meanings.

Subject/Verb Disagreement

每天早上,同学们在学校的操场上奔驰。

  • The noun “同学们” and the verb “奔驰” in the sentence “同学们奔驰” disagree.

  • The verb “奔 驰” means “horses run fast”; this word can also refer to a car, but not to a person. Students should use “跑步” or “奔跑” instead

狂⻛暴⾬下了起来,但是我的同屋还是赶到学校去上课。

  • The subject in the first part is not clear. The verb “下” should be paired with “暴⾬,” not “狂⻛”

  • To correct this sentence, students should get rid of “狂⻛”, which changes the sentence to “暴⾬下了起來.”

  • Another way to fix this sentence is to add another verb, “ 刮 ,” which changes the original sentence into “狂⻛刮 起来,暴⾬下起来”.

很多公司和⼯作的职位歧视⼥⼈。

  • The subject in the sentence is not clear. The verb (“歧视” should be paired with “公司,” not “职位”.

  • To correct this sentence, address “公司,” and “职位” separately.

  • This changes the sentence to “很多公司歧视⼥⼈, 不给她们⼯作的职位”.

Verb/Object Disagreement

在访问期间,我们还参观了他们中学⽣科技⼩组设计⽹⻚的经验。

  • “参观…经验” is the part that disagrees in this sentence because “参观” cannot apply to “经验”.

  • Instead, the sentence should be “在访问期间,我们参观了他们中学⽣ 科技⼩组,并且 享了他们设计⽹⻚的经验”.

到了美丽的太平洋边,我迫不及待地张开嘴巴尽情呼吸着海⽔、阳 光和新鲜的空⽓。

  • “海⽔” and “阳光” cannot be used with “呼吸.”

  • Each object should be given its own verb.

  • The original sentence is corrected to read “到了美丽的太平洋边,我对着海⽔,迎着阳 光,迫不及待地张开嘴巴尽情地呼吸着新鲜的空⽓”.

Misplaced Modifiers

我们每个⼈都有⼀双聪明能⼲的⼿,为什么还要靠⽗⺟呢?

  • The noun “⼿” can be modified by “能⼲的”, not “聪 明”.

  • “聪明” should be deleted.

中学时代打下的基础知识,为以后上⼤学创造了条件。

  • The verb phrase “中学时代打下的” used as a modifier does not match the noun, i.e., “知识” cannot be “打下.” There are two ways to correct the sentence:

    1. “打下” is changed to “掌握” or “学到” as the modifier of “基础知识”

    2. “知识” is deleted. The correct sentence would be “中学时代打下的基础,为 以后上⼤学创造了条件”.

他⼝⼝声声地欺骗了⼤家,却还说是为了⼤家好。

  • The idiom “⼝⼝声声” indicates keeping on saying, and the word “欺骗” means deceiving, so “⼝⼝声声” cannot modify “欺骗”.

  • “⼝⼝声声” can be replaced by “三番兩次.

Redundancy and Fragments

从⼤量的事实中告诉我们,要想今后找到⼀个好⼯作,必须在中学 时代就打好基础。

  • This sentence is a fragment because it is missing a subject.

  • Deleting “从” and “中” can fix this problem, as “⼤量的事实” becomes the subject.

在美国的公司不给⼤家买保险。

  • This sentence is a fragment because it uses prepositions instead of a subject. Deleting “在” fixes this problem.

Missing Modifiers

中国朋友告诉我,在中国要想考上⼤学,必须付出劳动。

  • “劳动” needs a modifier to express that getting into college is extremely hard.

  • The absence of “艰苦的” before “劳 动” in the sentence makes it seem that getting into college is easy.

去年圣诞节,⽗⺟给姐姐、弟弟和我都送了我们喜爱的礼物。我们 三个⼈的礼物是⼀双漂亮的⽪鞋,⼀个游戏机和⼀个新书包。

  • The second sentence is missing the word “分別,” respectively.

  • This mistake may cause confusion (it is unknown which gift is given to whom) or a misunderstanding (each person receives all three things).

  • The correct sentence is “我们三个⼈的礼物分别是⼀双漂亮的⽪鞋,⼀个游戏机 和⼀个新书包”.

Redundant Modifiers

在回家的路上,发⽣了⼀件不⼤但是让我难以忘记的⼩事。

  • “不⼤” and “⼩” have the same meaning.

  • Deleting either one of the modifiers fixes the redundancy problem.

经过多次反复地实验,我们终于成功了。

  • “多次” and “反复” have the same meaning.

  • Deleting either one of the modifiers eliminates the redundancy.

Incorrect Word Order

你可以买医疗保险从政府、学校、公司。

  • The word order in this sentence is incorrect because, in Chinese, the modifier cannot be placed at the end of the sentence.

  • The correct sentence is “你可以从政府、学校、公 司买医疗保险”.

Conjunction Mistakes

美国的交通不很⽅便,得经常坐⻜机。要不是就坐⽕⻋就是公共汽 ⻋。

  • In the second sentence, the writer confuses “要不是” with “要不然,” and “就是” with “或者.” “要不是” has a hypothetical meaning, which does not fit the context.

  • The correct sentence is “美国的交通不很⽅便,得经常 坐⻜机。要不然就坐⽕⻋或者公共汽⻋。”

其实我⼀直认为,只有天天运动,少吃⼀点⼉⾁,就不会太胖。

  • Both “只有 … 才” and “只要 … 就” describe conditions, but “只有 … 才” tends to be limiting and negative (it won’t happen unless) while “只要…就” tends to be expansive and positive (it will happen as long as).

  • Here, the context and logic call for “只要,” not “只有.”

Pronoun Mistakes

如果她们嫁⼈了,她的丈夫就不会帮她们。

  • In this sentence, the writer confuses plural and singular words.

  • Changing “她的丈夫” to “她们的丈夫” fixes the problem.

Misuse of Measure Words

她的两个哥哥是从美国东岸的同⼀家有名的⼤学毕业的。

  • The measure word is misused. Instead of “家,” it should be“所.”

那家服裝店裏的東⻄打折,⼩美⼀下⼦買了好幾件襯衫和⽜仔 褲。

  • The author only provides a measure word for the first object, but leaves out the measure word for the second object.

  • Adding “⼏条” for the second object fixes the problem.

Misuse of Idioms and Proverbs

春节期间,我们家家⼾⼾过着花天酒地的⽇⼦。

  • The author misuses “花天酒地” to describe the spring festival because this idiom has a negative connotation.

  • Changing it to “喜⽓洋洋” fixes the problem.

Mistranslations

在美国,男⼈做钱⽐⼥⼈多。

  • The writer translates “make money” into Chinese as “做钱”.

  • However “做钱” in Chinese means making counterfeit money.

  • The correct translation is “挣钱” or “赚钱”.

可是贵⼈有医疗保险。

  • The writer translates “rich people” to “贵⼈”.

  • However, “贵⼈”)means a person with power or with influence over people.

  • The correct translation is “富⼈” or “有钱⼈”

Unprofessional Language

在可是貴很多⼈覺得,帶孩⼦是⼥的的事,可是他們不想想,如果沒有⼥ 的,我們就完了。

  • Written formal language doesn’t allow for words such as “帶孩⼦,” “⼥的,” and “完了.”

  • Substitute them with the more formal terms “照 顾孩⼦”, “⼥性,” and “⽆法⽣存”.

Chapter 5: Speaking Skills