Unit 5: Self-Disclosure and Privacy Part 2

Overview of Disclosure and Privacy

  • Part two of the lecture focuses on privacy and the management of information to protect it.

  • The lecture introduces two scenarios for consideration regarding disclosure and communication in relationships.

Scenario Analysis

Scenario One: Romantic Relationship and Family Business

  • Context: Established romantic relationship; partner has met parents only a couple of times; family selling business amid uncertainty.

  • Family Request: Restricted communication; don’t share information outside the family, including with the romantic partner.

  • Considerations:

    • Trust and closeness with the partner: The desire to share important information with a trusted individual.

    • Family loyalty: Conflicting obligation to uphold family’s request for discretion during a period of change.

    • Possible family motivations for secrecy: Preventing information misuse or maintaining family control over the situation.

Scenario Two: Contact from an Ex

  • Context: An ex sends a greeting message, which is deleted without a response due to current relationship.

  • Considerations:

    • Awareness of partner’s feelings: Desire to avoid causing jealousy or insecurity.

    • Implications of deletion: No proof of non-response; risk of misinterpretation by the current partner.

    • Balance self-image and honesty towards the current partner while managing potential fallout from disclosing the contact.

Disclosure vs. Privacy

  • Explores the tension between the need for disclosure in relationships and the desire for privacy.

  • Dialectical tension: The struggle between revealing information and concealing it.

Risks of Self-Disclosure

  • Self-disclosure presents risks that may encourage individuals to withhold personal information.

Communication Privacy Management (CPM) Theory

  • Definition: A framework that explains how individuals manage their private information and privacy boundaries.

  • Key concepts:

    • Private Information: Any information that causes vulnerability; its use or knowledge is restricted.

    • Boundary Structures: Rules established by the information holder dictating who can access private information and how it can be shared.

Principles of Boundary Structures

1. Privacy Ownership

  • Assertion of rightful ownership over private information.

2. Privacy Control

  • Belief in the right to control private information.

  • Fear of loss associated with sharing private information.

Co-Ownership of Information

  • Co-Owners: Individuals who have access to private information.

    • Authorized Co-Owners: Confidants who are deliberately chosen to receive information.

    • Unauthorized Co-Owners: Individuals who gain access without consent, often through other co-owners.

Boundary Coordination

  • Definition of rules regarding what can be shared, how much can be shared, and conditions under which sharing occurs.

  • Potential conflicts in boundary coordination:

    • Negotiating sharing with partners and families.

Privacy Turbulence

  • Occurs when new events necessitate updates to boundary management due to violations of established rules.

  • Cooperation: Successful management of privacy often requires agreement between information co-owners about sharing protocols.

Clips and Examples for Illustration

Gilmore Girls Clip

  • Illustrates principles of privacy ownership and control through relational dynamics involving secrets shared and subverted.

Friends Clip

  • Analyzes Ross’s behavior in attempting to conceal information from Rachel post-relationship break, showcasing privacy management strategies.

Strategies for Privacy Management

1. Topic Avoidance

  • Definition: Deliberately steering clear of discussing certain topics. Often occurs in relationships when both parties are aware of the topic but choose to avoid it.

  • Example: Avoid discussing relationship future due to potential conflict.

2. Secret Keeping

  • Definition: Purposeful concealment of information.

  • It often overlaps with topic avoidance but is distinct due to the active decision to keep information secret.

  • Common secret topics include dating history, sexual activity, and personal transgressions.

Commonly Avoided Topics

  • Relationship issues and future

  • Negative experiences and failures

  • Discussions on past relationships and sexual activities

  • Harmful behaviors and expectations around friendships.

Families and Secrets

  • Types of family secrets:

    • Whole Family Secrets: Known by all family members, e.g., financial issues.

    • Intra-family Secrets: Known by some members, e.g., party plans.

    • Individual Secrets: Held by one person, potentially shared with outsiders.

Motivations for Secret Keeping and Avoidance

1. Relationship-Based Motivations

  • Protect relationships from disapproval or abandonment.

  • Prevent deepening of unwanted intimacy in relationships.

2. Individual-Based Motivations

  • Maintaining self-image and avoiding embarrassment.

  • Managing personal privacy without unwanted discourse.

3. Information-Based Motivations

  • Anticipating unconstructive responses from others.

  • Believing discussion will be futile or feeling inadequate to address a topic.

Consequences of Avoidance and Secret Keeping

Negative Consequences

  • Impact on self-esteem and resulting stress from concealment.

  • Growth of communication issues, increased deception, and maintenance of power imbalances.

  • The potential to shrink the breadth of relationship discussions and contribute to split loyalties.

Positive Consequences

  • Identity formation in children as they navigate separation from parents.

  • Development of closeness and trust among those sharing secrets.

Concluding Thoughts on Disclosure and Privacy

  • Highlighted the interrelatedness of privacy management and self-disclosure.

  • The complexity of these themes makes it difficult to study them independently, emphasizing the need for understanding both.