Inquiry Regarding the Recent Goings-On in the Woods

Inquiry Regarding the Recent Goings-On in the Woods

Introduction

  • Response to public grievances about the woods.

  • Villagers expressed discomfort and fear regarding the sounds from the woods.

Concerns

  • Villagers reported eerie noises, feeling stalked, and irritation from music they found distracting.

  • Investigations revealed an exiled Russian orchestra was operating in the woods, not the feared sources of noise.

Background

  • Village elders shared anecdotes about the conductor's eccentric arrival and disappearance.

  • Warnings about not looking into musicians' eyes for fear of repercussions.

Definition

  • Decision to act against the guerilla orchestra:

    1. Woods are just trees, not a place for confusion.

    2. They shouldn't harbor musicians withdrawing from the economy.

Offensive Strategies

(A) Initial Attempts

  • Attempted to smoke out the orchestra without success.

  • Nocturnal sounds included laughter and jazz, suggesting a social atmosphere.

  • President of the Committee's dramatic response due to personal turmoil (daughter eloped).

(B) Creating a Chalk Circle

  • A chalk circle taunted the Committee, symbolizing a challenge to cross.

(C) Misunderstood Ambush

  • Committee members took cover, mistaking music for a threat; orchestra played Gilbert and Sullivan instead.

  • Faced with the absurdity, members joined in the playful music.

(D) Gramophone Siege

  • Used every available gramophone to drown out the orchestra.

  • Villagers initially supported this plan, but soon found it annoying.

  • Eventually, the orchestra retaliated with Beethoven's 9th.

(E) Scathing Reviews as Tactics

  • Wrote negative reviews of the orchestra and posted them in the woods.

  • President delivered pointed criticisms repeatedly through loudspeakers.

(F) Betrayal from Within

  • A guilt-ridden bassoonist revealed the orchestra's hideouts in exchange for safety.

  • Committee eliminated instruments, warming by the fire with their remains.

(G) Diminishing Opposition

  • Successfully hunted down members through strategic isolation.

  • Final confrontation with the last musician ended tragically with extreme measures by the Committee.

Results

  • A young Committee member, curious about a musician's fate, encountered his own tragic end.

Conclusion

  • Funeral held for the violinist, amid public outcry for a proper ceremony.

  • Attempts to carry out a funeral march failed due to lack of singing ability from the Committee, further angering villagers.

  • The community questioned both the killings and their necessity, recalling a past tragedy involving artists who created the woods as a spiritual haven.