Chapter 1: Perspectives on Intimate Relationships

  • Themes of Intimacy, Strengths, and Diversity (3 pillars of the course)
    • Intimacy
    • Sharing intellectually, physically, and/or emotionally with another person
    • Occurs when individuals disclose information about themselves that allows them to become vulnerable
    • Family strengths perspective
    • “…not every family is strong, but every family has strengths….”
    • Is positive and optimistic
    • Identifying and focusing on strengths and building on those strengths are essential for developing and maintaining successful marriage relationships
    • Diversity
    • Diverse cultural groups bring a wide range of beliefs, and practices to help understand how marriages and families work
  • Same-sex marriage (Diversity in the family structure)
    • National
    • June 26th, 2025
    • Obergefell v. Hodge (SCOTUS)
    • International
    • 30 countries and territories have passed laws
    • Estimated 70 countries consider this a criminal act, ranging from prison time to the death penalty
  • Characteristics of Marriage
    • Identified by Carlfred Broderick
    • Characteristics across:
    • Income levels
    • Education levels
    • Ethnic and cultural groups
    • Reproductive Unit
    • Economic Unit
    • Demographic event
    • Socializes children
    • Social Networks
    • Legal contract
    • Sexual Activity
    • Opportunity to Develop Intimacy
    • Common Living Arrangements
  • Family
    • A research team at Indiana University identified the following clusters of American Families”
    • Exclusionists: Hold onto a narrower definition of family. Heteronormative, and non-inclusive same-sex marriages
    • Moderates: Count same-sex couples as a family if children are involved
    • Inclusionists: Have a very broad definition of family
  • Current trends in Marriage and Family Structures
    • More breadwinner moms
    • Change in contemporary parenthood in the past half-century
    • Decline in the marriage rate and rise in marriage age
    • Changes in the structure of American families
    • More than 4 in 10 American adults have at least one step relative in their family
    • Evolution of what constitutes family
    • The college marriage gap has reversed
    • Lower-income people are more likely to get married
    • College people are delaying or not marrying at all
    • Traditional roles of fathers and mothers are converging
  • Trends in Marriage and Cohabitation
    • More adults in the United States today are delaying marriage or forgoing it altogether.
    • The percentage of adults who have ever lived with an unmarried partner has been on the rise.
    • Most Americans find cohabitation common, even couples who do not plan to get married
  • Trends in Divorce
    • Varies in American Populations
    • Higher for Black individuals (than white individuals)
    • Higher in the South and West regions of the country
    • Higher among young adults
    • There is almost a 40-50 percent possibility for a first marriage to end in a divorce
    • But the likelihood of divorce varies considerably among different segments of the American population
  • Reasons for Divorces
    • Why are there so many divorces and unhappy marriages in our Society? We may need to consider
    • Unrealistic expectations about marriage
    • Lack of compatibility between partners
    • Lack of understanding that marriage is a challenging type of relationship that should be handled with care.
    • Effort is not expanded in developing the required relationship skills for a strong marriage
  • Trends in Remarriage
    • Higher divorce rates in remarriage in than first marriages
    • Divorced men are more likely to remarry than divorced women.
    • Factors causing failure of remarriage:
      • presence of children from a previous marriage
      • Remarriages in communities with higher poverty rates, low median family income, and a low proportion of college-educated residents.
  • Trends in Family Structure
    • Motherhood
    • More women are likely to become mothers than they were a decade ago
    • Decline in the number of stay-at-home mothers
    • Parents in the home:
    • Decrease in the percentage of children under age 18 who live in families with two parents
    • 49% of Black children live in a home with only their mother
    • Family size
    • Families are typically have fewer children compared to earlier generations
    • Couples prefer an egalitarian marital relationship
    • Sharing of work to accomplish the responsibilities of family life on a regular basis and divide those responsibilities fairly
  • Focus on Martial and Family Strengths
    • Involves paying attention to the good things one’s partner or child does and giving praise for the things that one appreciates
    • Observations about relationship strengths
    • Families are critical to the development of strong communities
    • People need to focus on the strengths of families
    • Internal family functions are important
    • Strong families tend to produce great kids
    • The relationship between family strengths and money is weak
    • Strengths develop over time and often in response to challenges
    • Strong families just live their strengths without thinking much about it
    • Strong families are not perfect
  • Social environment
    • Comprises all the factors in society that impact individuals and their relationships
    • Can experience the pervasive influence that social environment has on our lives by visiting another culture
    • A school functions as the hub of its community. Partners such as unions, faith-based organizations, community-based organizations, businesses, and higher education institutions collaborate to ensure that both academic and non-academic needs are met for students and families so that students can focus on learning and educators can focus on teaching.
  • Stress, Change, and Materialism
    • Stress: Body and mind’s reaction to life
    • Stress s directly related to change, and the greater the change, the higher the level of stress
    • Technology and materialism increase the level of stress in all areas of life
    • Stress affects us:
    • The individual sense of well-being
    • Bond of affection and closeness with each other.
  • Threats to Family Structure: Lack of Time
    • Boundaries between home and work are blurred
    • Efforts should be focused on investing more time in relationships
    • High-income families purchase the labor to free up time for families
    • Majority of the U.S. children are in regular child care arrangments
    • Low-income families intentionally build relationship time into mealtime and other household activities
  • Threats to Family Structure: Violence, Criminal Victimization, and Fear
    • Sexual violence, stalking, and intimate partner violence are major public health problems in the United States
    • Consequences for survivors include mental health problems and other health consequences that can lead to hospitalization, disability, or death
    • Women are more likely to be affected
    • Child fatalities is the most tragic consequence of maltreatment
    • Suicide
    • Family history of mental disorder, suicide, or substance abuse
    • Family violence, including physical or sexual abuse
    • Family violence, including physical or sexual abuse
    • Having guns or other firearms in the home
    • Being exposed to others’ suicidal behavior
  • Threat to Family Structure: Drugs and Alcohol
    • Tobacco Use
    • Causes cancer, heart disease, stroke, lung cancer, type 2 diabetes, and chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD)
    • Smokers are 10 times more likely to die than the people who have died in all the wars fought by the US.
    • Prescription Opioids
    • Dangers of legal opioid prescription misuse, opioid use disorder, and overdose have been a growing problem across the country
    • Illegal drugs that affect families in society are***
    • Alcohol use
  • Threats to Family Structure: Urban Migration and Overcrowding
    • Agriculture:
    • Technological advances in farming resulted in a decrease in the number of farmers
    • Small towns shrank in size
    • People moved from rural to urban areas in pursuit of work and a stable life
    • Impersonal forces of urban living are countered by village-like social structures in :
      • The neighborhood and the workplace
      • Religious institutions and community settings
  • Threats to Family Structures: Financial Problems and the Global Economy
    • Most common stressors faced by families and couples
    • Easy credit lines have contributed to mounting debt
    • A positive approach should be undertaken
    • Have a savings and investment plan
    • Should not get hooked on credit card spending and another overspending
  • Positive Responses to the Social Environment
    • Many communities provide positive experiences for families through:
    • Schools
    • Organizations
    • Religious institutions
    • Search Institute in Minneapolis, Minnesota
    • Conducts research and creates programming around assets that promote healthy growth and development of young people
    • Couples and families should be more proactive, beginning with their own relationships