Relationships
1) Spiritual Disposition/Attitude: Necessity of having a relationship with God, your first love is placed with your heavenly bridegroom and through your relationship with Christ you understand your Christian identity, you need to know who you truly are, because no woman or man will tell you who you are.
2) Know how to deal with others maturely because we want to develop a quality relationship with this person, have quality conversations that demand an expression of a person’s mind, inner person and heart.
3) To pursue Christian Love and be prepared to sacrifice and offer for your partner
4) Understand that marriage is a sacred companionship, exclusive fidelity for the rest of your life, and along the line children, so you need to be able to embrace those things as a companion for your partner.
5) A real relationship includes families and has a communal relationship with your church
6) Understand your intentions before getting into the relationship not just doing it out of pure emotion.
7) Whn Dating you don’t know if that person will be your spouse, only until you feel the crowns on your head and you hear from the priest “Crown them O Lord with glory and honour“
8) Learn to treat everyone in purity and until that person is something more you treat them as your brothers and sisters (1 Timothy 5:1-2)
9) Be content not entertainment-oriented
10) If you think they’re the one that’s when you ask if that person is sent from their hands or not, if getting closer to this person is according to his will. → reason that prayer is answered than all our other prayers because we are asking for his will not ours.
Most important thing isn’t to search for the right person but to become the right person for them, I can’t expect all my happiness and joy to come from only my partner because we’re human, my relationship with Christ should be the center of my life and sustains any relationship I have here.
Pursue Christian Love (Agape) by understanding God’s htrue love and true sacrifice, then you’ll find your spouse, because if their heart is truly close to God then you don’t need to look far from where you’re already looking.
Grow in all aspects of your life, gain the qualities of a good partner and a good parent have the fruits of the spirit and you will draw people with similar qualities.
Having a foundational relationship with God and being rooted in his image in us because my partner should resemble Christ as much as possible
We are asked to seek God and all things will be added to us and that includes relationships. (Matthew 6:3)
God is a God of clarity he will not confuse you, if you feel confused then maybe its not from him or you need to do some work to find that clarity. (1 Corinthians 14:33 → "For God is not a God of confusion but of peace...") Ask God is this person being brought to me from his will or not.
When considering to date a person think would this person be a confirmation of my love for Christ?
Personality & Dating
1) Think of the pros to their personality that I value and want to be with and what are the cons that they may not be good at so there’s a dynamic and you need to understand how you work together.
2) If you have to sneak around to be dating then you are essentially hiding your relationship in darkness instead of having a quality relationship in the light where you should be open and honest about who you are dating.
3) Know who you are, to find someone that is compatible, your values, your faith, how you want to live your life,
4) How to tell? Can I sacrifice and serve others in friendships, do I know how to set boundaries, do I have a relationship with Christ
5) Able to set the right boundaries
6) Self aware of my flaws and what I need to work on
7) Communicate effectively and resolve conflict in a healthy way
8) Have fruits of the spirit
9) Someone who can be a supportive partner
10) You should feel peace when around them and able to really be yourself
11) Pray that you can see someones heart so you’re not distracted by the outward appearance
12) The door to love is narrow its easy to ask for it but hard to give.
13) Don’t make someone fall for you if you’re not willing to catch them (have an intention to commit and support them in a relationship, leading someone on compromises your emotional integrity and theirs), Love is not self seeking its selfless {1 Corinthians 13:5}
14) Qualities: Relationship with Christ, Nurturing, Kind, Heart to serve that is rooted in Christ’s love and joy, emotionally steady and is your peace, they don’t compete with your purpose they complete it, brings you towards God, careful with their words doesn’t talk bad about others, radiates joy naturally, pursues the Lord and trying to grow deeper in their faith, honest and trustworthy, actions back up what they say,
15) I don’t want to be your situationship I want to be your testimony, I want our relationship to be a reflection of God’s love
16) Have a prayer life
Marriage
Marriage is a mystery that bounds two people to become one
A spouse is a person God gifted to you in order for you to serve him or her. We just want the one from his hands instead of who gives me the best feelings.
Our faith is revealed not in seasons of abundance, but in seasons of hardship. True faith isn't measured by what we have it's revealed by whether we continue to trust God when everything else is taken away.
Love is a choice not just a feeling, love is the choice to sacrifice and give to the other person
Scripture
Love is proven by actions, not promises
“Let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.”
1 John 3:18Peace is a sign, confusion is a warning
“For God is not a God of confusion but of peace.”
1 Corinthians 14:33Pay attention to who they surround themselves with
“Do not be misled: Bad company corrupts good character.”
1 Corinthians 15:33A person’s character is more important than the chemistry you have with them, do they fear the Lord “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”
Proverbs 31:30Fruits of the Spirit Galatians 5:22-23
Dating
Dating didn’t exist until 200 years ago, its not biblical
Dating creates a problem of creating emotional attachment without covenant.
Courting is pursuing a relationship with the intention of marriage, marriage is not all about feelings its more importantly covenant between this person and Christ.