Forgiveness Notes
Giving God Our Feelings
It's difficult but necessary.
God created emotions for us to control, not to be controlled by them.
Philippians 4:6-7 (Amplified):
Do not be anxious about anything.
In every situation, use prayer and petition with thanksgiving.
Make specific requests known to God.
The peace of God will reassure the heart, transcend understanding, and guard hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
God doesn't want us to live with anger or resentment.
True peace transcends understanding and guards our hearts.
We can give everything we feel to God and receive promised peace.
Moving Forward With Feelings
Psalms 55:22:
Give your burdens to the Lord, and He will take care of you.
He will not let the godly slip or fall.
It's hard to give burdens to God, especially with broken trust.
God promises to take our burdens and make us whole.
It becomes easier with practice.
It's hard to say hurtful things out loud.
God wants us to share burdens so He can restore us.
Doctor Analogy
How can a doctor help if you don't explain your symptoms?
You must communicate what's going on to receive help.
Matthew 11:28-30
Jesus said, come to me all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon Let me teach you because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
For my yoke is easy to bear, and my burden I give you is light.
He offers rest and invites us into humility and gentleness.
God is patient with everyone including those who hurt us.
Asking Forgiveness
Step two is asking God to forgive us and those who wronged us.
Initial reaction is often retaliation, creating more unforgiveness.
Not forgiving others implies we don't want God's forgiveness.
It accepts sin as ultimate instead of Jesus.
Luke 23:34:
Jesus said, Father, forgive them, for they don't know what they are doing.
The soldiers gambled for his clothes.
Jesus asks for forgiveness on our behalf because we are bad at it.
The soldiers left Jesus with no dignity, yet he forgave them.
He endured physical and psychological pain.
Jesus is the only perfect person.
Personal Reflection
Ask Jesus, why did you forgive me?
Acknowledge your sins and the hurt you've caused and experienced.
1 Peter 5:6-7
Humble yourselves under the mighty power of God.
At the right time, he will lift you up in honor.
Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.
Honor is tied to forgiveness.
Humility means setting aside pain to consider God's will.
He forgives because he cares and wants to give freedom and hope.
Matthew 6:14-15
If you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.
Unforgiveness fuels hurt and anger.
It interferes with our relationship with God.
God wants us to forgive for our sake and relationships.
Unforgiveness hinders genuine relationship with Him.
He wants perfect peace, joy and love found in forgiveness.
True Forgiveness Defined
True forgiveness is imitating God's unconditional love for everyone by letting go of all our hurt and others' wrongdoings, not holding anything against one another.
It affects us spiritually by drawing us closer to God.
By forgiving others, it helps to receive God's forgiveness.
Jesus wants us to love our neighbors as ourselves.
Forgiveness reflects Christ showing forgiveness to us or to others.
Mark 11:25
And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive them, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.
Holding grudges hinders our relationship with God.
Choosing to forgive opens doors for God's forgiveness.
Real forgiveness is from the heart.
God wants us to love those who have hurt us.
It frees us from heavy burdens.
Mental Effects of Forgiveness
Reduces stress and anxiety.
Helps let go of bitterness and feel more at peace.
Holding grudges weighs you down mentally.
Ephesians 4:31-32
Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and slander be put away from you along with all malice.
Be kind, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as God in Christ forgave you.
We should not hold onto bitterness and resentment.
Emotional Effects of Forgiveness
Helps move past hurt and pain.
Increases empathy, improves mood, increases happiness.
Enhances relationships.
It is healing for all relationships.
Failures to forgive can lead to sorrow.
When sorrowful, we should go towards repentance.
Surrender all sorrows to God.
Without forgiveness, it creates a barrier separating us from God.
Psalm 147:3
He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.
Forgiveness ties together spiritually, mentally, and emotionally.
Letting Go in Love
Step Three: God wants us to let go in love.
Remember what happened, but don't hold onto the hurt.
God loves us and those who have hurt you.
Forgiveness is the key.
Jesus sets a perfect example.
Let go of negative emotions to move past them.
Boundaries & Communication
Create healthy boundaries.
Have clear communication and be respectful.
Listen to both sides of the story.
Trust in God's plan.
Stories can help others.
For those dealing with trauma or pain, remember it is not your fault.
Don't let that define you.
Philippians 3:13-14
Brothers and sisters, I don't consider that I have taken hold of it yet, but here is the one thing I do.
I forget what is behind me. I push hard towards what is ahead of me.
I push myself forward towards the goal of winning the prize.
God has appointed me to win it. The heavenly prize is Christ Jesus himself.
God Is Love
Point number four: God is love, and that love helps us move forward.
1 John 4:7-8, 16-17:
Let us love one another, for love comes from God.
Anyone who loves knows God.
Anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love.
God is love, and all who live in love live in God, and God lives in them.
Perfect love expels all fear.
We love each other because He loved us first.
Spreading God's love and forgiveness imitates Christ.
If God can forgive and love us, we should do the same.
Grace and forgiveness are free for us all.
True Acceptance of Reality
Love is the true acceptance of reality.
We have been hurt and experienced difficulties.
God triumphs over all and reassures us.
We are forgiven, healed, and can move forward in love.
God gives us the power to forgive others in love.
It creates a reflection of God's undying love.
Key Definition
True forgiveness is imitating God's unconditional love for everyone by letting go of our hurt and others' wrongs doings.
We don't hold anything against one another because He doesn't hold anything against us.
Initial Story
Mom apologized, was prompted by God to clear relationship with her son, so things were not blocked in her spiritual life.
Went on sanctuary retreat 2021.
Had powerful encounter with God.
Kevin Butterfield prayed for him to heal from familial hurts and calling him beloved.
You Are Loved
Challenge: Look up how you are beloved by God time and time again.
Ask him to show you his love for you
Irene's Story
Bullying for many years in school and in the church.
Kevin Butterfield gave a message on the speaker and prayed.
She felt the chains lift off her and felt God's love.
After college had been sexually assaulted in school multiple times by semester.
She felt nobody was choosing her for me but wanted to fetishize her.
She prayed one night and God comforted her.
Friends were also with her during tough point and helped her get through the situation.
God helped her forgive herself.
Romans 5:3-5
Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance, character; and character, hope.
And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.
Given during the first assault.
Next Steps for Forgiveness
Seek repentance and reconciliation (if possible)
Confess sins to God
Reconciliation may not happen, and that's okay
Have accountable people/leaders walk with you
Live a changed life following God
If You've Forgiven The Person:
Healing takes time. Pray for those who hurt you
It may take time, use resources to walk with you on healing process. Counselors, mentors, sponsors, etc.
Let go and give all bitterness and anger to God
Use experiences/stories to help and comfort others.
Immediate Next Steps
Pray
Journal
Write personal letters to: self, victim, or God to throw away or get rid of in the ways aforementioned