18. Peers and Friendships

Peers

  • Companions who are usually around the same age and the same developmental level

    • Peers function as equals

      • Foster different kinds of socialization and social skills: compromising, competition

      • Helps develop prosocial skills: sharing, collaboration

    • Unlike parent-child interaction as the child is the subordinate, use their authority about social rules, etc

 

Preference for peer companions vs preference for adult companions

  • As children grow older, their preference for companionship from caregivers gets lower, and grows for peers

    • Increases influence from peers: Behaviours, decisions, choices

    • As children get older, they are more under the influence of companions

The role of peers in socialization

  • Peers are reinforcers of desired behaviours

    • 3-4 years old peers increase or decrease behaviours

      • sharing toys → desired thing, gold star for good behaviour → Increase in prosocial behaviour

      • Stand up to bullying, saying no to people that can be trying to get them to do things they dont want to do.

    • Kids are reciprocal to reinforcements

    • ** Peers in collaborative small groups tend to show better performance

  • Kids try to model the “popular kids” behaviour

  • Peers and the self are intwined

    • Kids want to be associated with the popularity and want to be apart of the cool group

      • Wanting to dress like them → becomes a part of their identity

      • Social comparison → assessing their own abilities based on the social comparison they are making with others

  • Peers as guides and instructors

    • provide opportunities for developing skills, to get others to get to know you in a setting outside your home

    • Peers are who you have to get in with setting your sense of self outside your home

  • Soccer, hockey → social contacts to be with peers in tutorial based setting → opportunities of contact

Peer group formation when peers become friends

  • Peer - hangout with one another, measuring up against

  • Friends - specific commitment

    • A reciprocal commitment between 2 people who see themselves as equals

→ Effects of friendships

  • support and validation

  • social and cognitive skill development

    • Also have negative effects of antisocial behaviour

      • Bullying, aggression, substance abuse → GROUPS that reinforce this behaviour

Changes in friendship with development

  • Childhood-adulthood friendships

    • Increasing disclosure and mutuality

      • Honest sharing of personal information, focus with problem solving

      • For young girls its boys, “passing notes”

    • Self-disclosure can be used as a weapon

      • have to trust the person will keep the secret

  • Changing expectations of the friendship as we get older

    • Young friendships → reciprocal helpfulness

    • 16-17 → emotional support is a core component to good friendship

Peer Acceptance

Middle school and adolescence focus

→ peer nomination method

→ Go to classroom of kids, party and having to select kids from the class to invite. Pattern of kids who are always invited, and others that don’t get any

  • Popular

    • Always invited

  • Average

    • some nominations but not as many as popular

  • Neglected

    • very few nominations, “they dont reallty think about them”

  • Controversial '

    • Love vs hate with peers

  • Rejected - Aggressive vs. Non-Aggressive

    • Dont get invited, kids dont like them

    • Aggressive → thats why they dont like them, bullies

      • Low self control, behaviour problems

    • Non-aggressive → socially awkward,

factors in peer status

Social cognitive skills are critical to being liked by peers

children who know how to react appropriately to peers are more likely to be liked by peers

  • Asks questions, more prosocial behaviour, extraversion, more approachable

  • How to approach a group matters, whether or not you will be or not be included in the group

    • ** Social cues, how they align with the group and how they communicate the similar behaviour with the group

  • Physical appearance

    • Physically attractive people have higher IQ, reinforcement from experiences

  • Gender

    • girls with girl groups, boys with boy groups

    • Cross gender friendships → more socially skilled

  • Age & name

    • Children are more likely to be friendly and become friends with kids their age

    • Name → Children want to hang out with other children with familiar names

      • Identity and how names are attached to it

      • Children are more likely tot be friendly to a peer that has a familiar name

Kids deemed socially competent vs socially incompetent

  • Competent → higher cognitive processing skills

    • Interpreting social environment

Consequences of Peer status

Popularity and average during adolescence, does it matter?

  • Low peer status → loneliness, low self esteem

  • long-term consequences, poor academic achievement, depression and anxiety

  • shy children are slower in marrying and establishing a career, and having a family

Peer status stable overtime?

  • can change

  • peer rejection stays stable, especially for rejected children.

    • why ?

    • Personal traits → temperament

    • Children that are popular, become better integrated but can have life events that can change how they view social contexts