Commencement

Acknowledgments and Recognition

• Distinguished Leadership and Faculty Acknowledgments:

  • Bill Berkley, Chairman of the NYU Board of Trustees, alongside members of the board and trustees.

  • Andrew Hamilton, NYU President.

  • Catherine Fleming, NYU Provost.

  • The faculty and alumni of New York University.

• Fellow Honorary Degree Recipients:

  • Susan Hockfield and Felix Matos Rodriguez, whose societal contributions and world-improving work serve as a source of humility and inspiration.

• Honorary Doctorate Context:

  • The primary reason for receiving an honorary doctorate is attributed to having a song titled 22, aligning with the graduation of New York University's Class of $2022$.

  • Possesses an honorary doctorate on paper, though not suitable for medical emergencies unless the emergency specifically requires:

    • A song with a catchy hook and an intensely cathartic bridge section.

    • An individual capable of naming over $50$ breeds of cats in one minute.

Support Systems and Childhood Foundations

• The Patchwork Quilt Metaphor:

  • No individual achieves success entirely on their own; every person is a patchwork quilt composed of:

    • Those who loved them and believed in their futures.

    • Those who showed empathy and kindness.

    • Those who delivered hard truths when necessary.

    • Those who encouraged success without prior proof.

    • Those who read stories, taught them to dream, and provided a moral code of right and wrong.

    • Those who answered childhood questions explaining complex concepts, such as "how does the moon work?" and "why can we eat salad but not grass?"

• Personal and Family Gratitude:

  • Immense gratitude is owed to family members—specifically Mom, Dad, and brother Austin—for daily sacrifices that enabled the transition from singing in coffee houses to addressing a stadium crowd.

  • A general welcome and appreciation are extended to all parents, family members, mentors, teachers, allies, friends, and loved ones supporting student educational enrichment: "Welcome to New York. It's been waiting for you."

Personal Background and Educational Journey

• Non-Traditional Educational Path:

  • Attended public high school through the $10\text{th}$ grade.

  • Completed secondary education via homeschool coursework performed on the floors of airport terminals.

  • Embarking on early promotional radio tours involved rental cars, motels, and staged mother-daughter arguments during Southwest flight boarding to ensure the middle seat remained unoccupied.

• Imagined College Experience:

  • Childhood dreams involved hanging posters in a freshman dorm room.

  • The music video for the song Love Story concluded at a fantasy imaginary college where meeting a male model reading on the grass led to a single glance revealing past-life love.

The Pandemic College Experience

• Challenges Faced by the Class of $2022$:

  • Students experienced college during a global pandemic, confined to dormitories and completing coursework via Zoom.

  • In addition to standard academic stress regarding test scores, students were required to clear approximately $1000$ COVID tests.

• Life Choice Metaphor:

  • Life functions like a delivery service menu where one does not always receive every item selected; one must accept and maximize whatever outcome occurs ("you get what you get").

Core Life Principles: Catch and Release

• Unsolicited Advice Disclaimer:

  • A foundational personal rule is to avoid offering unsolicited advice unless explicitly requested.

• Managing Life's Weight:

  • Life becomes overly burdensome if carried all at once. Maturity involves "catch and release"—discerning which elements to retain and which to let go.

  • Items that should be released rather than carried include:

    • All grudges.

    • All updates on ex-partners.

    • All enviable promotions awarded to a school bully at a hedge fund founded by their uncle.

  • Positive elements in life are inherently lighter, leaving more room once toxic burdens are discarded. A single toxic relationship can outweigh numerous simple, wonderful joys.

Embracing Cringe and Unapologetic Enthusiasm

• Inevitability of Cringe:

  • Retrospective cringe is an unavoidable reality of human life regardless of effort; even the term "cringe" itself may eventually be deemed cringe.

  • Personal Example: Spending the entirety of $2012$ dressing exclusively like a $1950\text{s}$ housewife, which was enjoyable despite looking back with amusement. Trends and phases should be embraced without shame.

• Rejecting the Stigma of Eagerness:

  • Society holds a false stigma around eagerness, promoting "unbothered ambivalence" and the false notion that caring or trying is uncool.

  • Effortlessness is a complete myth. Never be ashamed of trying.

  • Shift in perspective from high school to professional life:

    • In high school, the most desirable friends and romantic partners were those who pretended to care the least.

    • In business, the people hired to work for the company are those who want it the most and demonstrate maximum enthusiasm.

Craft, Creativity, and Identity as Writers

• Songwriting as a Life Compass:

  • Songwriting began at age $12$ and serves as the central compass guiding life, while life experience simultaneously shapes the writing.

  • All creative endeavors—directing music videos or short films, designing tour visuals, and stage performance—are direct extensions of songwriting and a love for the craft.

• Creative Process:

  • Involves generating ideas, narrowing them down, polishing, editing, and waking up in the middle of the night to discard an old idea in favor of a superior concept or plot device.

  • A powerful hook or string of words can completely ensnare focus until it is recorded or written down.

  • Creative evolution spans $11$ albums across multiple genre shifts: country to pop to alternative to folk.

• Literary Chameleons:

  • Every individual acts as a literary chameleon, adapting their voice across different mediums and audiences (e.g., Instagram stories vs. a senior thesis; emails to a boss vs. text messages to a childhood best friend).

  • Determining who to be and how to act is entirely self-directed—a realization that is both liberating ("totally up to you") and daunting ("totally up to you").

Navigating Unsolicited Advice, Role Model Expectations, and Mistakes

• Early Career Pressures:

  • Starting a public career at age $15$ meant spending over a decade as the youngest person in every room, constantly subjected to unsolicited advice and thinly veiled warnings from older industry executives, media, and interviewers.

  • Society maintained an obsession with perfect young female role models, leading to interview barbs hinting at eventually "running off the rails."

• The Myth of Perfectionism:

  • Young adulthood was shaped by the false narrative that avoiding mistakes would ensure all children in America grow up as perfect angels, whereas a single mistake would cause global catastrophe and result in permanent "pop star jail."

  • The premise that mistakes equal total failure and prevent a happy life is entirely false; personal mistakes have consistently led to the greatest life achievements.

  • Embarrassment is an integral part of being human. Dusting oneself off and seeing who still wants to laugh about it afterward is a true gift.

Specific Rejections and Their Transformative Outcomes

• Social Exclusion in Hometown:

  • Being excluded from hometown parties and sleepovers caused loneliness, which prompted spending time alone writing songs that ultimately provided a ticket to a broader career.

• Rejection by Nashville Music Executives:

  • Told by Nashville executives that country music was strictly for $35\text{-year-old}$ housewives and contained no room for a $13\text{-year-old}$ artist.

  • Responding by crying during the car ride home, then publishing songs on Myspace and connecting directly with teenage peers who shared a love for country music.

• Critical Media Coverage:

  • In-depth critical pieces created a surreal feeling, but forced deep internal reflection to discern true personal identity.

• Public Scrutiny of Personal Life:

  • Public treatment of dating life as a losing spectator sport forced the development of fierce privacy protections.

• Public Humiliation and Internet Cancellation:

  • Repeated public humiliation at a young age was painful but eliminated the illusion of needing minute-by-minute social relevance and likability.

  • Experiencing internet cancellation and near career loss provided an extensive knowledge of wine types.

The Reality of Human Imperfection and Nuanced Decision-Making

• The Inevitable Cycle of Mistakes:

  • Even perfectionists will inevitably experience a continuous cycle of mistakes:

    1. Misspeaking or trusting the wrong person.

    2. Underreacting or overreacting.

    3. Hurting undeserving people.

    4. Overthinking or acting without thinking.

    5. Self-sabotage and creating isolated realities.

    6. Ruining good moments and denying wrongdoing.

    7. Failing to make immediate amends, leading to eating guilt.

    8. Hitting rock bottom and addressing the caused pain.

    9. Attempting to do better next time, followed by repeating the process.

• Gain Through Loss:

  • Losing things does not merely equate to loss; significant growth and new assets are gained in the process of losing.

• Context-Dependent Decision Making:

  • Life requires navigating opposing actions depending on context:

    • Standing up for oneself vs. backing down and apologizing.

    • Fighting vs. turning and running away.

    • Holding on tightly vs. letting go with grace.

    • Discarding old paradigms for reform vs. listening to the wisdom of predecessors.

  • There is no absolute formula for knowing the correct choice in crucial moments; individuals are on their own.

Resilience, Recovery, and Final Remarks

• Guiding Internal Forces:

  • Actions are directed by gut instincts, intuition, desires, fears, scars, and dreams.

• Resilience through Hardship:

  • Mistakes and hardships are inevitable (and often publicized on the internet), but recovery and growth in resilience are guaranteed as long as life continues.

• Fundamental Breathing Practice:

  • When navigating adversity, remember the essential sequence: "breathe in, breathe through, breathe deep, breathe out."

• Closing Encouragement:

  • Celebration and unity are summarized in the final call to action: "keep dancing like we're the class of '22."