A Letter from Jerome (409) Regarding Monogamy and Widowhood, Addressed to Geruchia
A Fresh Take on Monogamy: A Letter to Geruchia
Introduction to the Work
The author aims to offer a new perspective on the well-trodden path of art, making familiar material appear fresh, specifically concerning the topic of marriage and widowhood.
This particular letter is addressed to Geruchia, whose name is associated with a prophecy and divine assistance.
Geruchia's Family Legacy of Monogamy
Geruchia is surrounded by a noble lineage of proven Christian women who embody the principle of monogamy and dedicated widowhood:
Her Grandmother, Metronia: An untiring widow for years, she serves as an example akin to Anna, the daughter of Phanuel, mentioned in the Gospels.
Her Mother, Benigna: Currently completing her year as a widow, she is revered and surrounded by a hundredfold band of virgins, symbolizing spiritual progeny and virtue.
Her Paternal Aunt: Sister of Celerinus (Geruchia's father), she nursed Geruchia from infancy and, without the comfort of a husband, taught her niece for years what she learned from her own mother, providing a long-standing model of virtuous widowhood.
Monogamy as a Family Expectation and Rejection of Excuses
The familial context emphasizes that Geruchia is not merely discharging monogamy but giving it back to her family legacy, implying it is an expected virtue.
To deny this practice would invite universal rebuke, rather than praise for bestowing it.
The common excuses for remarriage (loneliness, lack of an heir) are deemed invalid for Geruchia.
She has a posthumously born son, Simplicius, who carries his father's name, negating the need for an heir.
These excuses are often seen as a cover for personal desire, making licentiousness appear as a desire for children.
Geruchia is commended for actively shunning multiple suitors from the palace, who are perceived as devil-sent temptations to test her chastity.
Her nobility, beauty, age, and wealth make her highly eligible, intensifying the challenges to her chastity but promising greater rewards for her victory.
The Apostolic Stance on Widowhood: A Careful Interpretation
The author addresses a perceived conflict, specifically the authority of the Apostle Paul's letter to Timothy, which states: "I wish for younger women to marry, to bear children, to be the mothers of the household, to give no occasion for an adversary to speak ill; for certain women have already gone astray after Satan" [$1\text{Tim.}5:14-15$].
The author's task is to carefully examine this passage's meaning and context, ensuring fidelity to apostolic teaching.
The Ideal Widow According to Paul
Earlier in his letter, Paul describes the ideal widow as:
The wife of one man (monogamous).
Having raised children.
Possessing an established reputation for good deeds.
Having given relief to the suffering with meager resources.
Placing her hope in God and remaining in constant supplication and prayer, day and night.
The Opposite of the Ideal Widow
Paul contrasts the ideal widow with "she who lives in pleasure is dead although living" [$1\text{Tim.}5:6$].
Warning Against Younger Widows
Paul further advises his disciple to "Keep clear of younger widows who, when they have become wanton against Christ, desire to marry even though they have damnation because they have rendered their faith useless" [$1\text{Tim.}5:11-12$].
The Greek term used, $\textit{katastrêniasousin}$, refers to women who have fornicated and caused great injury to Christ, their true husband.
Paul's Concession, Not Command: The apostle approves of a second marriage (digamy) for such women, viewing it as a concession to prevent fornication. This is a preference of digamy over flagrant sin, not a command for all younger widows to remarry.
Deconstruction of Paul's Statement on Younger Widows ($1\text{Tim.}5:14-15$)
"I prefer that younger women marry": This preference is stated to prevent them from slipping into fornication and infidelity.
"That they bear children": The rationale is to prevent the practice of infanticide, driven by fear of children conceived through adultery.
"That they be the mothers of a household": A digamist (one married twice) is considered far more tolerable than a prostitute. A second husband is preferable to numerous illicit affairs. One provides a form of comfort for wretchedness; the other is a grave sin leading to punishment.
"That she give no occasion for an adversary to speak ill": This concise precept contains several warnings against behaviors that would defame a widow's conduct:
Avoid excessive concern for dress.
Do not attract young men with flirtatious or welcoming looks.
Maintain consistency between words and deeds, avoiding hypocrisy.
The common verse, "She laughed and promised a certain something with her artful glance," should not apply to her.
Underlying Reason for Paul's Counsel: The ultimate reason for this concession is explicitly stated: "For certain women have already gone astray after Satan." Thus, allowing a second (and even third) marriage is seen as a means to draw the incontinent away from the influence of Satan, preferring union with any man over spiritual alignment with the devil.
Parallel Counsel in Corinthians
Paul offers similar advice to the Corinthians: "I say, moreover, to unwed and widowed women: it is good for them to remain as celibate as I do. But if they do not contain themselves, let them marry; for it is better to marry" [$1\text{Cor.}7:8-9$].
When asked why it is better, the apostle's immediate reply is: "Because it is worse to burn" (with lust).
The Superiority of Celibacy and True Widowhood
Absolute Good of Celibacy: Apart from the comparison with a worse alternative (burning), remaining celibate, like the apostle, is presented as an absolute good. It signifies being unbound and free, not servile, allowing one to focus solely on "things pertaining to God, not to a wife."
Paul's Counsel to Widows ($1\text{Cor.}7:39-40$): He reiterates: "A woman is bound to her husband as long as her husband is alive. But if her husband has fallen asleep, she is free to marry whom she wishes, only in the Lord. But she will be happier if she should take my counsel; for I think that I have the spirit of God."
This passage conveys the same meaning as it proceeds from the same spirit, emphasizing multiple letters but one divine author.
Marriage is defined as a bond, while widowhood is the release from this bond.
Spouses do not have power over their own bodies but owe conjugal duty to each other, thus lacking the freedom to choose chastity while bound by matrimony.
"Only in the Lord": This crucial qualifier excludes marriages to non-believers, reinforcing principles found elsewhere in scripture.
Scriptural basis: "Do not marry non-believers. For what share of justice is there in inequality, or what fellowship in light is there in darkness? What covenant is there between Christ and Balial? Or what does the faithful share with the faithless? What agreement does the temple of God have with idols?" [$2\text{Cor.}6:14-16$]. This is metaphorically compared to not plowing with an ox and an ass, or weaving wedding attire with clashing threads.
Paul's Retraction/Divine Preference: Paul immediately retracts his concession, almost displeased with it, stating: "She will be more blessed, if she remains thus" [$1\text{Cor.}7:40$]. He declares this is better in his opinion and confirms it with the authority of the Holy Spirit, ensuring it is heard as an apostolic teaching rather than a mere human utterance.
Widows, Family Support, and Church Responsibility
Age is Not a Factor: A widow, even in her youth, should not take comfort in her age; Paul's teaching applies equally to widows of sixty. He does not universally urge unwed men and women to marry, citing the brevity of time: "Time is fleeting; it remains that even those who have wives are as if they have none" [$1\text{Cor.}7:29$].
Family-Supported Widows: Paul discusses widows who are cared for by family, children, and grandchildren. These are charged to manage their homes, reward their parents (by caring for them), and provide sufficient assistance.
This ensures the church is not burdened and can instead focus on "true widows."
"True Widows" Honored by the Church: "Honor the widows who are truly bereft" [$1\text{Tim.}5:3$]. These are women left with no family support, unable to work, crippled by poverty and weakened by age, whose sole hope is in God and whose primary occupation is prayer.
Obligation of Younger Widows: Younger widows (unless in poor health) are bound to support themselves through their own labor or with assistance from children or relatives.
Meaning of "Honor": "Honor" can mean alms or a gift, similar to how elders are worthy of "double honor" (), especially those dedicated to teaching.
Misinterpretation of "Honor Your Parents": The commandment "Honor your father and your mother" [$Exod.20:12$] is not merely a verbal affirmation but implies providing necessary sustenance. Children are commanded to care for poor parents and repay their kindness.
Scribes and Pharisees, however, distorted this, teaching children to declare gifts to the altar (corban) as an excuse to neglect their poor parents, allowing priests and scribes to consume these offerings.
Challenge to Wealthy Widows: If poor young widows are expected to work to unburden the church, what excuse do wealthy widows have for not serving others, making "friends for herself of the mammon of iniquity" who could receive her into eternal dwellings?
The Monogamy Requirement for Priesthood and Laity
A widow is only chosen for ecclesiastical roles if she has been the wife of one man.
Priesthood Requirement: This is not just a unique claim for priests, but a foundational principle: only monogamists are admitted to the altar. A twice-married man is barred from the priesthood and from receiving church alms.
Women and Offerings: A woman who has entered into a second marriage is considered unworthy of even small church offerings.
Laymen's Obligation: Even a layman is subject to this "priestly law"; he should live in such a way as to be eligible for the priesthood. Since priests are chosen from laymen, a twice-married layman is excluded from candidacy, indicating that the monogamy mandate extends to the general Christian life.
The Apostle's Concession: Human Frailty vs. Divine Will
The apostle desires absolute continence and celibacy for all, wishing everyone would be like him – free and unbound, focused on divine matters.
However, he is compelled to wish for a lesser good due to human incontinence. Seeing that individuals are straying towards the "deep pit of lust," he offers second marriages as a concession.
This allows them to associate with "one woman, rather than with many," thus wallowing in a more contained manner.
Choosing the Better Path: The author emphasizes that Paul's true preference is for what is good "in and of itself" (celibacy), not merely what is "lesser in comparison with evil" (second marriage as an alternative to fornication). To choose the latter is to fulfill one's own desire, not the apostle's divine will.
Old Testament Precedence for Monogamy
Priests who married once and their widowed daughters were permitted to eat priestly food, and proper offerings were made for them after death.
If these women remarried, they were considered estranged and excluded from their fathers' legacy and the holy sacrifices.
Heathen Examples of Chastity: A Source of Christian Condemnation
The author argues that heathen practices of chastity serve as a condemnation for Christians if truth in Christ does not surpass falsehood in the devil.
Pagan Monogamy/Celibacy:
An Athenian hierophant would resign his manhood and live in constant deprivation to maintain chastity.
Only men with one wife were admitted to the priesthood of the flamen, and only women with one husband were chosen as priestesses.
Entry into the sacred rites of the Egyptian bull required a man to have been married only once.
The Vestal Virgins, and virgins dedicated to Apollo, Achiva Juno, Diana, and Minerva, maintained perpetual virginity as part of their office.
Heroic Pagan Chastity (Preference for Death over Remarriage/Violation):
Queen Dido of Carthage: Chose to immolate herself rather than marry King Iarbas.
Hasdrubal's Wife: Cast herself and her children into flames to preserve her chastity (or prevent its violation).
Lucretia: Committed suicide due to her polluted conscience after her reputation for chastity was lost.
Teutonic Women's Unyielding Chastity: As an example from Geruchia's own region, the author recounts the story of Teutonic married women.
After the Roman armies under Marius defeated the Teutons at the Sextian waters, these women were to be handed over to other men as a condition of surrender.
They first begged the consul for a life of servitude in the temples of Ceres and Venus, but their plea was denied.
The next morning, when officials arrived to take them, they had first slain their own children and then strangled themselves with nooses, holding each other in mutual embraces, preferring death to the violation of their chastity.
Consequences of Multiple Marriages and the Church's Stance
The Downward Spiral: The author questions why a noble married woman, witnessing such pagan chastity, would remarry, especially if she might then lose a second husband, and then a third, fourth, or fifth. This path, though arguably differing from prostitution, leads to a loss of the "first bounds of chastity" and a descent into "wild revelry in every sort of excess," inviting prophetic reproach: "Your face has become a whore's face; you are shameless" [$Jerem.3:3$].
Church's Position on Second Marriages: The church does not condemn second marriages but praises first marriages. It does not expel the twice-married but encourages the once-married to a life of continence.
Metaphors for Inclusion: The church accommodates a spectrum of people and states, similar to:
Noah's Ark: Containing both clean and unclean animals, men and creeping creatures.
Household Vessels: Possessing vessels for both honorable and less dignified purposes.
Sowing the Good Earth (Gospel Parable): Yielding fruit a "hundredfold," "sixtyfold," or "thirtyfold." The hundredfold represents the crown of virginity, the sixtyfold the labor of widows, and the thirtyfold the bonds of marriage. Digamy, however, is considered "beyond counting," not growing in good earth, but in "thorn-bushes and the thickets of foxes," analogous to the wickedness of Herod.
Low Bar for Digamy: A woman who marries multiple times is merely considered praiseworthy if she is "better than a whore" or surpasses "victims of public displays of wantonness" by limiting herself to one man at a time.
Advice for Geruchia and the Difficulty of Widowhood
Geruchia is urged to disregard passages used to justify incontinence and instead focus on those that crown chastity.
She has already passed the first level (virginity) and, through marital duty (the third level), arrived at the second level (widowhood's continence).
Her grandmother, mother, and aunt serve as direct examples and "standards of virtue."
Continence within Marriage: Many married women, even with living husbands, practice continence, drawing inspiration from the apostle's words: "All things are lawful, but not all things are expedient" [$1\text{Cor.}6:12$]. They make "eunuchs of themselves for the kingdom of heaven," either through consent after purification (baptism) or through ardent faith post-marriage.
Widow's Unique Freedom: A widow, freed from marital bonds by God's decree ("The Lord has given, the Lord has taken away" [$Job 1:21$]), has a unique opportunity to reclaim power over her body and avoid becoming a man's servant again.
Virginity vs. Widowhood: Virginity is easier to maintain because the provocations of the flesh have not been experienced. Widowhood is more difficult as it often involves replaying past pleasures, especially if the husband is mourned as "lost" rather than seen as "sent ahead" (the former evokes grief, the latter joy).
The Primacy of Monogamy in Creation and Scripture
First Creation: The foundational creation narrative teaches monogamy:
One Adam, one Eve, separated from one rib, then rejoined: "The two shall be one flesh" [$Gen.2:24$] (not two or three wives).
"For which reason, the man will leave his father and mother and will be joined to his wife" (singular wife).
Paul interprets this passage in relation to Christ and the Church, with Adam being monogamous first in the flesh, then in the spirit.
Figurative Monogamy: Eve is the sole mother of all living; the Church is the sole parent of all Christians.
Just as Lamech divided marriage into two wives, heretics divide the Church into many, which the Apocalypse of John refers to as "synagogues of the devil."
Song of Songs: "There are sixty queens, eighty concubines, and countless young maidens. Only one is my dove, my perfect one, and she is the one for her mother, chosen for the one who bore her" [$Cant.6:7-8$], symbolizing the singular, chosen Church. John's epistle to "The elder for the chosen mistress and her children" [$2\text{John }1$] reinforces this.
Noah's Ark as a Type of Church: Noah brought one wife for each of his three sons, not two apiece.
Even unclean animals were brought in pairs (male and female) to prevent digamy from having a place among beasts.
Clean animals, brought in by seven (an uneven number), symbolize the "palm of virginity and chastity." Noah sacrificed from the uneven numbers, not the pairs (which were for multiplication).
Reconciling the Law and the Gospel
The author asserts a unity between the Law and the Gospel, rejecting the Marcionite heresy of separation. It is the "one and the same God" who acts differently according to the change in time (sowing to reap, planting to cut, foundation to roof).
Old Testament Practices (Polygamy): The text acknowledges Old Testament figures like patriarchs (David and Solomon) with multiple wives and concubines, Judah and Tamar, and Hosea's marriage to a prostitute.
Contemporary Relevance: This freedom to indulge in multiple relationships is warned against for those "Upon whom the ends of the ages has come down" [$1\text{Cor.}10:11$], to whom it is said: "The time is short" [$1\text{Cor.}7:29$] and "Now the ax has been placed upon the roots of the trees" [$Matth.3:10$], signifying evangelical chastity cutting down the "forest of the law and of marriage."
Times for All Things: "There is a time for embracing and a time to keep from embracing" [$Eccles.3:5$].
Prophets and Celibacy: Jeremiah was forbidden to marry due to approaching captivity. Ezekiel's mouth was opened for prophecy after his wife died ("My wife is dead and my mouth is opened" [$Ezech.24:18$]), demonstrating that neither those about to marry nor those currently married could prophesy freely due to marital bonds.
Shift in Values from Old to New Testament: What was once glorious (like having many children: "Your children are just like olive shoots around your table," and "May you see your children's children" [$Ps.127:3,6$]) is supplanted by the new spiritual blessings of continence: "The one who is joined to the Lord is one spirit" [$1\text{Cor.}6:17$] and "My soul follows after you; your right hand has supported me" [$Ps.62:9$]. The law of "an eye for an eye" is replaced by offering the other cheek, and the command to "Gird your sword above your thigh" [$Ps.44$] is superseded by Peter's instruction: "Hide your sword in your sheath; for he who strikes with a sword shall die by it" [$Matth.26:52$, $John 18:11$].
Sacraments and Allegories: Hagar and Sarah, Sinai and Zion, Leah and Rachel, Hannah, Isaac and Rebecca, Tamar, and the prophet's harlot (Hosea's Gomer) are all presented as allegorical representations of the Old and New Covenants, the Synagogue and the Church, and God's changing dispensations.
The Futility of Earthly Desires and the Present Crisis
Dido's Regret: The author brings up Dido's story, whose sister Anna urges her to remarry ("Will you alone in your grief be taken from your perpetual youth? Will you deny yourself sweet offspring, the gifts of love? Do you believe that the now buried ash and spirits care about this?" [$Aen.4.32-34$]). Dido's lament reveals her broken vow of chastity: "You, sister, overcome by my tears, you first weighed me down as I was raging because of these evils, and you first cast me before the enemy. It was not possible for me to live an unblemished life unknowing of the marital bed; it was not possible to be like a wild animal, free from care. The promised that I made to the ash of Sychaeus has not been kept" [$Aen.4.548-52$].
Marriage and Desire: The author argues that the potential evil in marriage often outweighs the hoped-for good. Desire, once satisfied, leaves repentance and quickly rekindles, growing with practice and obeying no reason.
Rethinking Marital Needs: The excuse that "great wealth and family property lack the authority of a husband" is refuted.
Unmarried individuals can manage their affairs; Geruchia's grandmother, mother, and aunt receive honor and manage their households without husbands, respected by entire provinces.
Older servants and freedmen can handle household administration, public inquiries, and taxes, venerating their mistress as a saint and patroness.
Seeking God's Kingdom First: "Seek first the kingdom of God and all these things will be set before you." Concerns about clothing are addressed by the "lilies of the Gospel," and food by the birds fed by the celestial Father.
Many virgins and widows have managed their lives reputably without male authority.
Avoiding Scandal and Prioritizing the Soul
Warning Against Associates: Geruchia is warned not to associate with younger women who rationalize remarriage (the very ones for whom Paul made his concession), lest she suffer "shipwreck in the midst of a calm sea."
Paul's Counsel to Timothy: "Avoid younger widows," and "Love older women as mothers, younger women as sisters with all purity" [$1\text{Tim.}5:11,2$]. This underscores the need to flee situations that could lead to suspicion of evil conduct.
Conscience vs. Reputation: The common saying "My own conscience is enough for me; I have no care for what people say" is rejected. The apostle Paul sought to do good "not only in the face of God, but in the face of people" to prevent God's name from being blasphemed among heathens.
Paul's Example of Self-Sacrifice: Paul sacrificed his own rights and freedoms for the sake of others' consciences:
He had the power to travel with women companions but chose not to, to avoid being judged by non-believers.
He could have lived by the Gospel's provisions but worked day and night with his hands to avoid burdening believers.
He declared, "If meat offends my brother, I will never eat meat" [$1\text{Cor.}8:13$]. The author extends this: "If that sister or brother offends not one or another, but the entire church, I will see neither sister nor brother."
The Soul's Paramountcy: It is better to suffer diminished possessions than to lose the salvation of the soul. Losing temporal things (which will be lost eventually) is preferable to losing that for which everything must be sacrificed.
Futility of Worry: One cannot add even a "tenth of an inch" to one's stature. Worrying about food or drink is pointless: "The day's evil is sufficient" [$Matth.6:34$].
Jacob's Example of Trust: Jacob, fleeing his brother, left his father's riches and arrived in Mesopotamia naked, using a rock for a pillow. He saw a ladder to heaven with angels ascending and descending, and the Lord above it, signifying hope for sinners and a reminder for the just not to be complacent in virtue.
After years, he returned wealthy, having started with only a walking stick.
Apostles' Example of Detachment from Wealth: The apostles traveled without money, sticks, or shoes, yet could proclaim: "We have nothing and possess everything" [$2\text{Cor.}6:10$], and, having no gold or silver, they could heal in Christ's name ($Acts 3:6$). They were not burdened by riches, enabling them to pass through the "eye of the needle" and perceive the "back parts of the Lord."
Human Greed and Delusion: In contrast, humans burn with greed, constantly seeking more, despite arguing against the need for money. The Megarian proverb describes this: "They build as if they will always live; they live as if they will die tomorrow." This delusion stems from a lack of belief in God's words, clinging to empty hope for a long life, even amidst decrepitude.
The Imminent Crisis and the Role of Marriage
The Antichrist's Approach: The author views current events through an apocalyptic lens: "The ship is wrecked and here I am talking about the cargo." He warns that the "Antichrist is approaching, whom the Lord Jesus Christ will destroy with the spirit from his mouth." This imminence makes earthly concerns trivial.
Woe to the Pregnant and Nursing: "Woe unto those who are pregnant and nursing on that day" [$Matth.24:19$], as these are "fruits of marriage," highlighting the vulnerability of those tied to earthly family in an apocalyptic era.
Contemporary Calamities (ca. 409 AD): The present sufferings are so severe that survival is attributed solely to God's mercy. The Roman Empire is being devastated by numerous fierce nations (Quadi, Vandals, Sarmatians, Alans, Gepids, Heruli, Saxons, Burgundians, Alemanni, Pannonians, and Assyrians) from the Pontic Sea to Julian Alps, between the Rhine and the ocean.
Cities like Mainz, Vangiones, Rheims, Amiens, Artois, Morini, Tournai, Speyer, and Strassburg have been ravaged or transferred.
Aquitania, the Nine Nations, Lyon, and Narbonne have been widely devastated.
Toulouse miraculously stands due to its holy bishop, Exupery.
Spanish lands live in daily fear of assault.
Rome's Humiliation: For years, Rome has been fighting on its own soil, not for glory but for mere survival, buying peace with gold and goods. This is attributed to the "wickedness of the half-barbarian traitor," not devout princes. This is seen as a protracted shame, reminiscent of earlier defeats (like Brennus and the Gauls).
A Time of Despair: The author laments the inability to freely weep or lament for the suffering, hinting at censorship or overwhelming sorrow. The altered Lucan quote asks: "What is safe, if Rome should perish?" Virgil's words are invoked to express the impossibility of enumerating all the punishments and fallen.
Conclusion and Call to Action for Geruchia
Rhetorical Question: Given the dire circumstances, the author dramatically asks Geruchia: "Are you going to marry in such dire circumstances?" Her potential husband would either flee or fight, and wedding joy would be replaced by the "terrible trumpet" of war, with "mourners for brideswomen." Her household would suffer from lost revenue, illness, and famine.
Trust in Geruchia's Soul: The author expresses confidence that Geruchia has preserved her soul for the Lord, and these warnings are primarily directed at others.
True Audience and Counter-Example: The real target of this detailed argument are "winebibbing, meddlesome, and chatty" women, whose "God is their belly and whose glory is in their shame" [$Phil.3:19$]. These women justify their desires through misinterpretations of scripture (only focusing on digamy precepts) and seek validation in others' actions.
Geruchia's Task: Geruchia is called to refute these "impudent proposals" with a correct interpretation of the apostle's meaning.
Recommended Readings for a Widow's Life: The author recommends his other works:
The book to Eustochium on preserving virginity.
Works addressed to Furia and Salvina (daughter-in-law of Probus and daughter of Gildo, respectively).
Naming the Work: This very letter, "On monogamy," will take its title from Geruchia's name, memorializing her commitment to this virtue.