C6- Personality and Personal History

PERSONALITY & PERSONAL HISTORY PART 1

PERSONALITY TRAITS

• Definition of Personality:

  • Personality refers to distinctive qualities that characterize an individual, which are relatively stable over time and in different situations.

  • These qualities influence behavior and adaptation to the world.

• Historical Aspects:

  • Lewis Terman, a psychologist and trait theorist, identified factors distinguishing happy from unhappy married couples.

  • Discoveries indicate enduring characteristics are critical for relationship success.

PERSONALITY TRAITS AND EMOTIONAL TENDENCIES

• Trait Theory:

  • Aims to identify a core set of personality traits through extensive statistical analysis of self-descriptive adjectives used by individuals.

  • Traits are not sole identifiers but rather qualities possessed to varying degrees by individuals (individualized attributes akin to attachment styles).

• The Big Five Personality Traits:

  • Openness: Willingness to try new things and be open-minded.

  • Conscientiousness: Organization and hard work.

  • Extraversion: Outgoing and affectionate nature.

  • Agreeableness: Kindness and desire to please others.

  • Neuroticism: Tendency to be nervous, worried, and emotionally unstable.

NEGATIVE AFFECTIVITY

• Definition:

  • The tendency to experience unpleasant emotions such as low self-esteem, anxiety, sadness, worry, and tension.

  • Individuals with high negative affectivity often dwell on their own and others' negative attributes.

  • This trait is a strong predictor of future relationship quality and satisfaction.

• Statistical Findings:

  • Children with frequent temper tantrums before age 10 are twice as likely to divorce as adults.

  • Childhood tantrums can lead women to marry men of lower occupational status.

  • "Uncontrolled" or easily frustrated children are likely to face turbulent relationships at age 21.

IMPACT OF NEGATIVE AFFECTIVITY ON RELATIONSHIPS

• Manifestations in Relationships:

  • Higher levels of negative affectivity lead to:

  • Interpreting partner's actions negatively.

  • Critically interpreting partner's negative behaviors.

  • Increased hostility when discussing relationship strengths and weaknesses.

  • Reduced sexual satisfaction and difficulties fulfilling partner's sexual needs.

SMALL GROUP ACTIVITY

• Case Study: Jason Mitchell, a 55-year-old, has been facing anxiety and depression related to his marriage.

  • Married to Melissa (62), they have 1 adopted child, Lucy (15).

  • Jason reports significant marital issues with a lack of sexual intimacy and frequent accusations from Melissa.

  • Discussion Questions:

  • Who is higher in negative affectivity: Jason or Melissa?

  • What attachment styles do Jason and Melissa likely possess?

  • Do their attachment styles impact their relationship? If so, how?

THE DEPENDENCE REGULATION MODEL

• Definition:

  • Emphasizes the tension between two relationship goals:

  • The desire for closeness and intimacy.

  • The need to protect oneself from potential hurt.

  • Many people manage this tension well; however, underestimating how positively one is viewed by the partner can lead to increased protective behaviors against rejection.

• Key Phases of the Model:

  • (Further details not provided in the text)

LOW SELF-ESTEEM

• Self-esteem can fluctuate due to various life experiences.

• Low self-esteem in one partner can adversely affect both partners in an intimate relationship.

• Key Points:

  • High or low self-esteem has a more stable, trait-like quality than mood.

  • Individuals with low self-esteem:

    • Fear being hurt.

    • Constantly worry about relationship dynamics.

    • Seek cues for potential abandonment by their partner.

UNDERESTIMATING THE PARTNER'S REGARD

• Low self-esteem leads individuals to assume partners have low regard for them and likely possess negative views of themselves.

• Individuals face challenges in relationships:

  • Vulnerable to being hurt while voicing needs.

  • Difficulty in expressing feelings due to fear of rejection.

  • Avoiding communication can backfire, damaging the relationship further.

PERCEIVING THE PARTNER UNFAVORABLY

• Individuals with low self-esteem often believe their partner does not love them genuinely.

• They may perceive rejection without evidence, which is believed to serve as self-protection.

• Continuous feelings of hurt may lead to anger and dissatisfaction, resulting in increased arguments and disengagement.

PERCEIVING THE RELATIONSHIP UNFAVORABLY

• Research (Murray, 2003) states partners of individuals sensitive to rejection become increasingly unhappy in their relationships over time.

• This dynamic creates an imbalance where one partner dedicates excessive energy to safeguard the other’s feelings, leading to greater relationship challenges.

PERSONALITY & PERSONAL HISTORY PART 2

CHILDHOOD EXPERIENCES IN FAMILIES

• Family of Origin: The family one was raised in.

• Intergenerational Transmission Effects:

  • The influences from the family of origin that shape an individual as a person and as a relationship partner.

  • Experiences are transmitted from one generation to the next (parents to children).

FAMILY TRANSITIONS AND WELL-BEING

• Insights on relationship endings:

  • Relationship dissolutions can negatively impact children, particularly during transition phases.

• Definitions:

  • Not all relationship endings lead to divorce; some may result in permanent separation.

  • Dissolution: A gradual, unfolding process, not an abrupt event.

• Statistical Insight:

  • Approximately 1 million children experience parents' divorce yearly.

  • By adulthood, 25% of children will have witnessed their parents' divorce.

IMPACT ON ACADEMICS AND BEYOND

• Children of divorced parents vs. married parents face various challenges:

  • Lower academic success rates.

  • Increased behavioral issues (divorce can double issues like aggression and disobedience).

  • Cognitive or memory functioning deficits.

  • Psychological adjustment issues and lower self-esteem.

  • Difficulty maintaining and forming relationships.

• Important Note: Children with married parents experience these issues at a reduced rate (10-15%) compared to those from divorced backgrounds (20-30%).

IMPACT ON ECONOMIC CIRCUMSTANCES

• Divorce incurs high expenses impacting children and families economically.

• Dividing a family across two households increases financial burdens and reduces parenting quality and emotional support.

• Factors following separation:

  • Dips in self-esteem for about a year post-divorce.

  • Transitioning difficulties due to conflict among parents, new living conditions, and adjustments to step or bonus parents.

• Positive Note: Children who cultivate coping skills and avoid self-blame can create supportive connections with parents and broader family networks.

OTHER CAUSES OF DISTRESS

• Emotional turbulence in households can lead to issues akin to those experienced by children in divorced families.

• Challenges observed in children raised in turbulent homes:

  • Low self-esteem.

  • Reduced happiness and life satisfaction.

  • Elevated sadness levels.

  • Increased verbal hostility and withdrawal tendencies.

CASE STUDY

• Bryan, a 13-year-old soccer player, exhibits severe depression following his parents' divorce and ongoing co-parenting conflicts.

  • Describes feelings of being caught in the middle of parental conflicts.

  • Reports dealing with panic attacks during household transitions.

  • Discussion Questions:

  • What effects does Bryan's parents' divorce have on him?

  • Do Bryan’s struggles align with examples from the course material?

  • Does Bryan exhibit a secure attachment style based on shared experiences?

IMPACTS ON HEALTH AS AN ADULT

• Psychological health complexity pertains to parental divorce and pre-divorce relationship dynamics.

• Evidence indicates children exposed to parental disruptions develop more behavioral issues and poorer health outcomes.

• Positive scenario: End of a troubled marriage can facilitate better outcomes for children, though unexpected divorces can lead to long-term detrimental effects on relationship-building capacities.

CHILDHOOD AND LATER RELATIONSHIPS

• Impact of upbringing on relationship formation throughout life.

• Children from dysfunctional families demonstrate greater caution in relationships and openness to divorce.

• Research suggests they are more likely to cohabitate without marrying.

• Transitioning into adulthood may leave such individuals with fewer resources:

  • Financial constraints.

  • Limited social networks.

  • Lower education levels.

THE SOCIAL LEARNING THEORY VIEW

• Children learn partnership behaviors through familial observation, carrying these styles into adult relationships.

• Positive Outcomes:

  • Nurturing family environments foster closeness in future intimate relationships.

• Negative Outcomes:

  • Experiences of abuse/negligence can detrimentally affect marriage quality, leading to issues such as:

  • Psychological aggression, general relationship issues, trust deficiencies, and diminished sexual activity, potentially yielding less fulfilling marriages.

THE ATTACHMENT THEORY VIEW

• Attachment Behavior System:

  • A system of behaviors that aids in ensuring safety and survival, shaped by evolution.

  • Varied caregiver-child relationships lead to unique attachment styles.

• Working Models:

  • Internal structures representing conscious and unconscious beliefs about self and relationships.

  • Nurtured emotions lead to a positive attachment; ignored sentiments promote insecure attachment styles.

• Emphasizes that while stable, working models can evolve.

HOW TO OVERCOME INSECURITY

• Strategies to enhance self-assurance:

  • Deepen self-affirmation by identifying personal values.

  • Adopt your partner’s perspective and empathize.

  • Elaborate on compliments by analyzing their significance.

  • Increase psychological and physical closeness through sharing personal questions and discussing responses.