Love

Love in Adulthood

Erikson's Stages of Development

  • Intimacy vs. Isolation

    • Focus on the capacity for forming close relationships with others.

    • Failure to achieve intimacy can lead to feelings of isolation, loneliness, withdrawal from social interactions, depression, and aggression.

  • Identity Formation

    • Identity is fundamental before forming relationships.

    • You must know yourself to understand and connect with others.

Factors that Bring People Together

1. Proximity and Nearness
  • Mere Exposure Effect

    • The phenomenon where repeated exposure to someone increases attraction.

    • Initially, individuals may become habituated to the presence of someone else, making them feel more comfortable over time.

  • Anticipation

    • Dating applications have changed social interaction.

    • Approximately 50% of young adults utilize dating apps.

    • A common criticism is that people often do not present their true selves in these online settings.

2. Physical Beauty
  • Cultural and Conditioning Aspects

    • There exists a social reward for interacting with attractive individuals, referenced through societal norms and perceptions.

  • Stereotypes of Beauty

    • Reflected in cultural outlets, including children's cartoons, where beauty is often idealized.

  • Instincts and Evolutionary Perspectives

    • Universal traits dictate preferences in romantic relationships.

    • Studies suggest that women tend to care less about looks compared to men, who are generally more focused on physical beauty.

    • Differences in Mating Strategies reflecting these preferences between genders.

3. Physical Arousal
  • Misattribution of Arousal

    • Referenced study: Dutron and Aron (1974) demonstrated how people may misattribute their physical arousal, especially in high-arousal situations, leading to increased interest in others.

    • Example: Development of a trauma bond where the feeling of arousal is directly connected to emotional experiences shared.

  • Attraction Process

    • Two steps are highlighted:

    1. Experiencing physical arousal.

    2. Attributing that arousal to the person present.

4. Self-Disclosure
  • Importance of Self-Disclosure

    • Self-disclosure nurtures attraction between individuals.

    • It acts to validate feelings and foster deeper emotional connections.

  • Prerequisites for Successful Self-Disclosure

    • A solid identity must be established first.

    • Trust is crucial for effective self-disclosure and reciprocal sharing of feelings.

5. Similarities
  • Similarity Attracts

    • The concept that greater similarities between partners increase attractiveness.

    • The saying “opposites attract” is nuanced, as individuals often become more like the person they date, embracing the concept of likeness leading to liking.