Study Notes on Friendship by Elizabeth Telfer

FRIENDSHIP BY ELIZABETH TELFER

INTRODUCTION

  • Friendship is often cited as a crucial component of a meaningful life.

  • Telfer proposes to answer the following three questions regarding friendship:

    • What is friendship?

    • How does morality relate to friendship?

    • Why is friendship considered significant?

THE NATURE OF FRIENDSHIP

  • Key Activity of Friendship:

    • All friendships involve the performance of services for one another.

    • Example: A man helping a lonely old lady does not indicate friendship, rather it is characterized as 'befriending'.

    • Distinction between 'being a friend to' someone and 'being friends' with someone.

  • Insufficient Conditions for Friendship:

    • Simple reciprocal acts (e.g., help exchanged for companionship) do not fulfill the definition of friendship.

    • Friendship requires:

    • Reciprocal services.

    • Mutual contact.

    • Joint pursuits (shared activities, such as engaging in leisure or work together).

    • This grouping of necessary conditions is termed the 'shared activity' condition.

  • Passions of Friendship:

    • The second necessary condition involves deeper motivations underlying friendship, termed the passions of friendship:

    • Affection:

      • Defined as a desire for another's welfare and happiness as an individual.

      • Distinction from benevolence (general concern for others) and sense of duty (performing acts because one must).

      • Generates unique reactions of pleasure and pain in response to the friend's circumstances.

    • Desire for Each Other's Company:

      • This desire must be based on recognition and liking of the individual friend, rather than mere companionship.

      • Characterized by rational thought, not obsessive infatuation.

      • Grounds for wanting contact include liking and a sense of commonality.

  • Liking:

    • Aesthetic appreciation of another's personality rather than a simple evaluation of characteristics.

    • Provides emotional connection (e.g., affection, common interests), grounding deeper friendship.

  • Understanding Moral Character in Friendship:

    • There exists no requirement that one's friends must be virtuous, although shared moral seriousness can enhance friendship.

    • Aristotle posits that true friendship is anchored in appreciation of the friend’s virtue, but Telfer critiques this.

    • Moral faults can complicate friendships but do not necessarily invalidate them.

  • Commitment in Friendship:

    • Necessary for defining a friendship as it illustrates an acknowledgement of emotional and supportive practices.

    • While mutual inclination is essential, friendship also encompasses choice and consent to maintain the relationship.

FRIENDSHIP AND DUTY

  • Friendship entails rights and duties:

    • Obligations include:

    • Assisting the friend when in trouble.

    • Providing necessary advice, even unsolicited, at times.

  • Arguments Against Duties of Friendship:

    1. Involuntariness of Friendship:

    • Claim: No duties arise from involuntary relationships.

    • Counter: Certain involuntary ties (like family) do involve duties.

    1. Nature of Duty vs. Friendship:

    • Question: If wishes to help friends are spontaneous, how can duties exist?

    • Telfer argues that goodwill from friendship does not preclude the concept of duty.

    1. Impersonal vs. Personal Relationships:

    • Duties appear typical of impersonal relationships, yet friendship necessitates personal engagement, which can coexist with duty.

  • Further Reflection on Duty:

    • The existence of transient feelings may still suggest obligation in friendship, even when feelings waver due to circumstances such as quarrels.

    • Some duties to friends include uncomfortable actions, like providing criticism or counsel.

THE VALUE OF FRIENDSHIP

  • Importance of Understanding Friendship:

    • Addressing the deeper significance of forming friendships beyond simple duty.

    • Friendship promotes well-being through understanding and mutual support.

  • Justification of Friendship’s Value:

    • Establishes connections to happiness, acting as a source of benefit that appeals to both personal and social ends.

    • Utility of Friendship:

      • Enhances societal welfare by fostering understanding and cooperation, even among those with no friends.

    • Pleasure derived from friendship can be profound, facilitating enjoyment of shared activities and life events.

  • Pleasure and Life Enhancement:

    • Telfer highlights that friendship enhances the quality of experiences, deepening emotional engagements.

    • Allows for a greater range of emotions and knowledge through shared experiences, akin to reading literature.

  • Cautions Against Overemphasis on Friendship's Value:

    • Overstudying virtues of friendship may shift focus towards seeking relationships rather than valuing individuals themselves.

    • True friendship may flourish when individuals concentrate on their connections to one another, rather than fixating on the concept of friendship itself.