Working With Yourself and Others - Notes

Four Temperaments

• Determine personality type according to the Four Temperaments: Choleric, Melancholy, Sanguine, and Phlegmatic
• Improve relationship with others by understanding themselves and others
• Reference: "Personality Plus" by Florence Littauer

Sanguine

• Characteristics:
  • Extravert
  • Creative
  • Impulsive
  • Sociable
  • Flexible
  • Charismatic
  • Easy-going
  • Sarcastic
  • Forgetful
  • Sensitive
  • Talkative
• Major Characteristics:
  • Lively
  • Optimistic
  • Carefree
  • Loves adventure
  • High tolerance for risk
  • Poor at tolerating boredom
• Emotions:
  • Appealing personality
  • Talkative, storyteller
  • Life of the party
  • Good sense of humor
  • Memory for color
  • Physically holds on to listener
  • Emotional and demonstrative
  • Enthusiastic and expressive
  • Cheerful and bubbling over
  • Curious
  • Good on stage
  • Wide-eyed and innocent
  • Lives in the present
  • Changeable disposition
  • Sincere at heart
  • Always a child
• At Work:
  • Volunteers at jobs
  • Thinks up of new activities
  • Looks great on the surface
  • Creative and colorful
  • Has energy and enthusiasm
  • Starts in a flashy way
  • Inspires others to join
  • Charms others to work
• Main Strengths at Work:
  • Self-confident, takes no offense at critical remarks.
  • Superb interpersonal skills and positive attitude to get on well with peers and clients.
  • Cool-headed and productive.
  • Loses motivation and interest in work when it becomes humdrum or doesn’t require any defined responsibilities.
• How to Work Smarter:
  • Don’t torture yourself with hackwork.
  • Become an efficient time manager: don’t overset or procrastinate.
  • Combine routine and dynamic tasks to stay productive.
  • Be proactive. Participate in social discussions.
  • Take advantage of your sociability: be flexible when it goes to conflict negotiations.
• Careers:
  • Entertainment
  • Sales
  • Public Relations
  • Customer Service
  • Travel
  • Sports
  • Marketing

Choleric

• Characteristics:
  • Rational
  • Ambitious
  • Impulsive
  • Organized
  • Passionate
  • Energetic
  • Aggressive
  • Dominating
  • Charismatic
  • Inspiring
  • Leader-like
• Major Characteristics:
  • Doer
  • Natural leader
  • Optimist
  • In control of situations
  • Commanding and manipulative
  • High level of confidence
  • Hates to lose
  • Loves to compete
  • Speaks their mind
• Emotions:
  • Born leader
  • Dynamic and active
  • Compulsive need for change
  • Must correct wrongs
  • Strong willed and decisive
  • Unemotional
  • Not easily discouraged
  • Independent and self-sufficient
  • Exudes confidence
  • Can run anything
• At Work:
  • Goal-oriented
  • Sees the whole picture
  • Organizes well
  • Seeks practical solutions
  • Moves quickly to action
  • Delegates work
  • Insists on production
  • Makes the goal
  • Stimulates activity
  • Thrives on opposition
• Main Strengths at Work:
  • Full of energy and have strong leadership skills
  • Start new projects with passion.
  • Persuasive and attractive.
• How to Work Smarter:
  • Solution-oriented, lead projects from A to Z.
  • Take short breaks during a day to calm down your temper.
  • Cholerics can’t stand boredom, so try to get emotionally involved with every task.
  • Work with people who have similar professional interests.
• Careers:
  • Business
  • Law
  • Technology
  • Security
  • Management
  • Engineering
  • Statistics

Melancholic

• Characteristics:
  • Emotional
  • Calm
  • Independent
  • Quiet
  • Thoughtful
  • Tactful
  • Introverted
  • Diligent
  • Fragile
  • Accurate
  • Loners
• Major Characteristics:
  • Thinker
  • Introvert
  • Pessimist
  • Analytical
  • Wise
  • Quiet
  • Detailed
• Emotions:
  • Deep and thoughtful
  • Analytical
  • Serious and purposeful
  • Genius prone
  • Talented and creative
  • Artistic or musical
  • Philosophical and poetic
  • Appreciative of beauty
  • Sensitive to others
  • Self-sacrificing
  • Conscientious
  • Idealistic
• At Work:
  • Schedule oriented
  • Perfectionist, high standards
  • Detail conscious
  • Persistent and thorough
  • Orderly and organized
  • Neat and tidy
  • Economical
  • Sees the problems
  • Finds creative solutions
  • Needs to finish what is started
  • Likes charts, graphs, figures, list
• Main Strengths at Work:
  • Strong analytical skills and intuition.
  • Tactful, and okay with routine work.
  • Strong problem-solving skills make you a great adviser.
  • Wise and creative.
  • Classy organizer.
• How to Work Smarter:
  • Organize a workspace properly. Nothing should distract you.
  • Do work in pieces.
  • Don’t procrastinate, prevent yourself from stresses before deadlines.
  • When it goes to criticism, try to work out objectifying attitude.
  • Take advantage of your detail-oriented nature: struggle with indecision and perfectionism.
• Careers:
  • Research
  • Art
  • Science
  • Accounting
  • Administration
  • Social Work

Phlegmatic

• Characteristics:
  • Introvert
  • Quiet
  • Curious
  • Kind
  • Observant
  • Rational
  • Patient
  • Calm
  • Steady
  • Affectionate
  • Productive
• Major Characteristics:
  • Pessimist
  • Watcher
  • Easygoing
  • Relaxed
  • Avoids conflict
• Emotions:
  • Low key personality
  • Easygoing and relaxed
  • Calm, cool and collected
  • Consistent life
  • Quiet but witty
  • Sympathetic and kind
  • Keeps emotions hidden
  • Happily reconciled to life
  • All purpose person
• At Work:
  • Competent and steady
  • Peaceful and agreeable
  • Has administrative ability
  • Mediates problems
  • Avoids conflicts
  • Good under pressure
  • Finds the easy way
• Main Strengths at Work:
  • Most productive employees.
  • Steady and cool-headed when it comes to tough stuff.
  • Not so fast at decision-making as cholerics, you do stay the course.
  • A team player, curious and fair.
• How to Work Smarter:
  • Start working on a project in advance.
  • Better solve one critical problem than spend energy on multitasking
  • Avoid procrastination and inactivity.
  • Learn to speak for your opinion and discontent in public.
• Careers:
  • Nursing
  • Education
  • Psychology
  • Office Work
  • Assistant Roles
  • Human Resources
  • Social Services

The Five Love Languages

• Love Language helps to improve relationships with others by understanding themselves and others
• The Five Love Languages are:
  • Physical Touch
  • Acts of Service
  • Gift Giving
  • Words of Affirmation
  • Quality Time

Words of Affirmation

• Expressing affection through spoken words, praise, or appreciation.
• Enjoy kind words and encouragement, uplifting quotes, love notes, and cute text messages.
• Complimenting or pointing out what they do well.
• Try:
  • Leaving encouraging notes
  • Creating a playlist of songs that remind you of them
  • Sharing sentiments for your partners successes and struggles
  • Complimenting them
  • Words of appreciation
• Avoid:
  • Assuming that they know how loved they are
  • Assuming that they know you are proud of them
  • Emotionally harsh words
  • Not recognizing or appreciating their efforts

Quality Time

• Undivided attention.
• Feel loved if you are present and focused on them when you are together.
• Putting down the cell phone, turning off the computer, making eye contact, and actively listening.
• Try:
  • Being mentally present when you are with them
  • Making plans to explore new places
  • Uninterrupted time (ex: putting away your phone)
  • Creating small moments to connect
  • Quality and deep conversation
• Avoid:
  • Being distracted when you are with them
  • Viewing your partner as needy
  • Complaining about time spent together
  • Preparing for other engagements when you're together

Receiving / Giving Gifts

• Gift-giving indicates love and affection.
• Treasure not only the gift itself but also the time and effort the gift-giver put into it.
• Do not necessarily expect large or expensive presents; it's more the effort and thoughtfulness behind the gift that count.
• When you take the time to pick out a gift specifically for them, it tells them you really know them.
• Can often remember every little gift they have received from their loved ones because it makes such an impact on them.
• Try:
  • Thoughtfulness in gift giving
  • Souvenirs when you travel without them
  • Gifts that symbolize moments, experiences or feelings
  • Small reminders or tokens when they don't feel their best
  • Being intentional on holidays, especially their birthday
• Avoid:
  • Forgetting special occasions
  • Materialism, gifts are not about the cost
  • Giving gifts without love or out of "duty"

Acts of Service

• Nice things you do for your partner that make them feel loved and appreciated
• Examples:
  • Helping with the dishes
  • Running errands
  • Vacuuming
  • Putting gas in the car
• Notice and appreciate little things you do for them
• Tend to perform acts of service and kindness for others, too.
• Try:
  • Showing, rather than telling
  • Following through with what you say you will do
  • Assisting with stressful or time consuming tasks
  • Looking for small ways to help them (ex: cooking for them, running a bath, paying for gas)
  • Being spontaneous (ex: surprising them at work with flowers)
• Avoid:
  • Ignoring requests for help
  • Not following through
  • Being close-minded, like feeding into gender-based stereotypes when it comes to tasks

Physical Touch

• Feels love through physical affection
• Aside from intimate touches, they feel loved when their partner holds their hand, touches their arm, or gives them a massage at the end of the day, for example.
• Perfect date might include cuddling on the couch with a glass of wine and a good movie. They simply want to be close to their partner physically.
• Try:
  • Offering massages
  • Initiating intimacy
  • Making hugs a habit
  • Non-sexual touch that reminds them of your presence
  • Putting your arm around them or embracing them
• Avoid:
  • Long periods without intimacy
  • Coldly giving affection
  • Waiting for your partner to express their desire for physical affection