Attraction and Relationships
Attraction
Facial Features
Universal Babyface Features: Both men and women are attracted to babyface features, especially large eyes.
Men's Preferences: Men are generally more attracted to women with high cheekbones, narrow cheeks, and a small chin.
Women's Preferences: Women tend to be more attracted to men with prominent cheekbones and a large chin.
Symmetry
Symmetry in faces and bodies is generally considered attractive.
Cartoon Example: A cartoon depicts a woman rejecting a man for not being symmetrical enough.
Symmetry and Ovulation
Women's preference for the scent of symmetrical men varies depending on their menstrual cycle.
Follicular Phase: Occurs before ovulation.
Luteal Phase: Occurs after ovulation.
Graph Data: A graph displays women's preference for symmetrical men's scent in relation to their cycle. The vertical line indicates the average day of ovulation. Data is compiled from studies by Gangestad & Thornhill (1998), Thornhill & Gangestad (1999), and Thornhill et al. (2003).
Averageness
Averageness in facial features is also considered attractive.
Composite Images: Composite images are often rated as more attractive.
Body Attractiveness
Men: Men are generally considered attractive if they have an average weight and a V-shaped shoulder/hip ratio.
Women: Women are generally considered attractive if they have an average weight and a waist that is approximately 1/3 narrower than their hips.
Evolutionary Perspective
Males Prefer: Healthy, fertile-looking females who can pass along quality genes.
Females Prefer: Strong, dominant-looking males who can protect and provide resources.
Important Note: The role of socialization in shaping these preferences is also emphasized.
Close Relationships
Attachment Theory
Basic Premises:
Human infants require extensive caregiving to survive.
Infants use attachment figures as a secure base to explore and a safe haven for comfort and protection.
Differences in caregiving lead to different patterns of relating and attaching to others throughout life.
Secure Attachment: Confidence that the attachment figure will be available, responsive, and able to help.
Insecure Attachment: Lack of confidence that the attachment figure will be available, responsive, and able to help.
Attachment Styles
Secure:
Caregivers: Appropriately and warmly responsive to needs, showed positive emotions, and encouraged exploration.
As Adults: Trust that others will maintain love and support.
Beliefs: Self is likable; others can be trusted; love can last.
Anxious/Ambivalent:
Caregivers: Inconsistent due to preoccupation with own needs, overbearing affection, discouraged exploration.
As Adults: Fear of abandonment, feeling needs are not met.
Beliefs: Self-doubt; others don’t meet my needs and are less willing to commit; can easily fall in love.
Avoidant:
Caregivers: Aloof and distant, present but unresponsive, forced exploration.
As Adults: Defensive detachment from others.
Beliefs: Self is hard to get to know; rare to find someone you can easily fall in love with; love rarely lasts.
Attachment Style Breakdown
Secure:
Anxious-Ambivalent:
Avoidant:
Attachment styles can change over time with effort.
Correlates of Attachment Styles
Secure Attachment:
More positive/less negative emotions during social interactions.
More positive beliefs about romantic relationships.
Less loneliness.
Greater adaptiveness to relational conflict.
More enjoyment of sex.
Longer duration of relationships.
Anxious-Ambivalent Attachment:
More negative emotions during social interactions (e.g., anxiety).
Falls in and out of love more often; preoccupied with relationships.
More jealousy, more unstable emotions.
Higher level of self-disclosure and early intimacy.
Likes sex for the physical contact.
Shorter duration of relationships (repeated breakups with the same person).
Avoidant Attachment:
More negative emotions during social interactions (e.g., boredom, anger).
More likely to believe that true love doesn't exist.
Greater loneliness.
More distancing responses to relational conflict; low levels of self-disclosure and intimacy.
More sexual promiscuity.
Passionate and Compassionate Love
Passionate Love
A state of strong attraction, interest, and excitement, felt so strongly that people are absorbed in each other.
Components:
Physiological arousal (sweating, heart pounding).
Flattering appraisal of the other.
Intense desire for the other's presence.
Compassionate Love
Deep, caring, affectionate attachment/commitment.
Commitment: A plan to stay together even when not feeling passionate attraction.
Attachment is now more than just desire to be together: a feeling that lives are intertwined.
Change Over Time
Passionate love tends to decrease over time, while compassionate love tends to increase.
Graph: A graph illustrates the intensity of passionate and compassionate love over 60 years.
Relationships After 1 Year of Marriage
Lower satisfaction with the relationship.
Fewer shared pleasurable experiences.
More shared instrumental activities.
More ambivalence about the relationship.
Lower passionate love.
Gottman’s “Big 4” Predictors of Relationship Problems
Criticism: Attacking partner’s personality (e.g., “You always/never . . .”, “You’re the type of person who . . .”).
Contempt: Insults, hostility, negative actions/tone (e.g., “Bitch/bastard”, sarcasm, rolling eyes).
Defensiveness: Protecting self as main focus (e.g., Excuse making, “Yes-butting”, Cross-complaining).
Stonewalling: Emotional or physical withdrawal (e.g., Silent treatment, monosyllabic muttering).
Gottman’s “Remedies”
Criticism: Make specific claims and requests (e.g., “When X happened, I felt Y”).
Contempt: Validate your partner (e.g., let them know you understand/see through their eyes).
Defensiveness: Practice non-defensiveness (e.g., take responsibility, “What can I learn from this?”).
Stonewalling: “Conscious communication” (e.g., speak and listen generously).
Attraction
Facial Features
Universal Babyface Features: Both men and women are inherently attracted to babyface features, particularly large eyes, rounded cheeks, and a small nose, as these traits are often associated with youth and health, which appeal to primal instincts. Researchers have found that babylike features elicit caregiving responses, leading to a perception of innocence and vulnerability.
Men's Preferences: Men generally show a stronger attraction to women who exhibit high cheekbones, narrow cheeks, and a small chin. These characteristics are indicators of higher estrogen levels, often associated with fertility and reproductive health, enhancing a woman's perceived attractiveness during peak fertility times in her menstrual cycle.
Women's Preferences: Women's attraction to men tends to focus on those with prominent cheekbones and a larger chin. This preference may stem from evolutionary biology, where a strong jawline is often linked to masculinity and genetic fitness, appealing to women looking for a capable provider and protector.
Symmetry
General Appeal of Symmetry: Symmetry in facial and bodily features is universally considered attractive across cultures and genders. Symmetrical individuals are perceived as healthier and more genetically fit, which may be rooted in evolutionary psychology where these traits signal good genes to potential mates.
Cartoon Example of Symmetry: A humorous cartoon illustrates a female character rejecting a male character on the premise of his lack of facial symmetry, emphasizing how ingrained our biases toward symmetrical features are, even in exaggerated and comedic contexts.
Symmetry and Ovulation: Research indicates that women’s preferences for the scent of symmetrical men fluctuate through their menstrual cycle due to hormonal variations.
Follicular Phase: This phase, occurring prior to ovulation, is marked by heightened estrogen levels, leading to a more pronounced attraction to symmetrical traits that signal genetic fitness.
Luteal Phase: Following ovulation, attraction may shift as hormonal levels change, potentially affecting mate preferences and behavior.
Graph Data on Preferences: A statistical graph displays women’s preference for symmetrical men's scent, correlating it to the days of their menstrual cycle. The vertical line indicates the average day of ovulation, clearly demonstrating the cyclical nature of their attraction based on biological changes. This data is compiled from comprehensive studies by Gangestad & Thornhill (1998), Thornhill & Gangestad (1999), and Thornhill et al. (2003).
Averageness
Averageness in Beauty Standards: Averageness is a quality that emerges as attractive in facial features. Studies on composite images, created from multiple faces blended together, consistently show that these images are rated more favorably than distinct faces, suggesting that our perception of beauty is rooted in commonality and average characteristics.
Body Attractiveness
Men's Attractiveness: The ideal male body type is often characterized by an average weight paired with a V-shaped shoulder-to-hip ratio, which signifies strength and good physical health. This body type is associated with dominance and desirability in evolutionary terms.
Women's Attractiveness: Women are generally perceived as attractive when they have an average weight complemented by a waist approximately one-third narrower than their hips. This ratio signifies youthfulness and fertility, characteristics that enhance attractiveness from a biological perspective.
Evolutionary Perspective
Males' Preferences: Men typically prefer females who appear healthy and fertile, possessing features that predict reproductive capability. This preference is rooted in the evolutionary drive to maximize reproductive success by selecting quality genes to pass to offspring.
Females' Preferences: Conversely, women tend to seek strong and dominant males who provide resources and protection. This innate preference is shaped by the need for offspring survival and the sustenance of family lineage.
Impact of Socialization: It is crucial to acknowledge that socialization plays a significant role in shaping these preferences, with cultural factors influencing ideals of beauty and attractiveness in various societies.