Listening Skills
The importance of listening:
As a counsellor, listening to your clients is important. This is because the more you listen, it’s most likely for the client to open up more due to feeling like they’re being heard.
However, listening shouldn’t just be about hearing out the client. To have an effective session, the counsellor should also understand. Listening without understanding causes a barrier for the sessions to move forward effectively.
Rephrasing what the client says back to them is a way of showing understanding.
If these things aren’t shown during a session, it can cause frustration to the client. It may also make the client shut down and not have that feeling to continue to open up.
Part of the core conditions that Roger’s suggests is empathy. Empathy can’t be shown without listening. This goes to show that being listened to and understood is a big part of how a session can move forward. This also applies for Unconditional Positive Regard and Congruence.
Bad Listening:
There are many signs of bad listening. One sign of lack of eye contact. This is a sign of bad listening because even though you may be listening, it can come across to the client that you’re not paying attention to them. This is a scary mistake to make because the client may be thrown off talking which can negatively affect the session and future sessions.
Another sign of bad listening is interrupting. This is a bad sign because the client may feel like they’re being heard need to rush to get their point across or that you’re not giving them an opportunity to express themselves when its supposed to be their time to speak.
Making assumptions and judgements is another way of bad listening. This is because as a client, they should feel free to say whatever they’re feeling without any negative outcome. This links back to providing Unconditional Positive Regard (having a calm and positive regard to whatever the clients says).
Having an uncomfortable surrounding is another sign of bad listening. This is because a certain environment can affect how the mood of the session will go. It can also cause distractions which will also affect both the clients and counsellors listening throughout the session.
Having a certain body language is something that can come across as bad listening also. Having a closed body language will be presented as being bored and not actively listening to the client. Having your hand on your face and fiddling with something is also another thing that can come across as not being attentive with what’s being spoken about.
A certain amount of verbal and non verbal communication can be a sign of bad listening. Talking too much or talking not enough is an example of this. Not responding in a correct manner can also be taken as not being listened to.
Displays of disinterestedness is also being a bad listener. This is another thing that can negatively affect how a session goes and progresses. This is because if you show a client that you’re not interested in what they’re saying, It’ll be difficult for the counsellor to find out more information about them because this can be really offensive to the client and can make them shut down completely from opening up.
Making noises to a client when they’re expressing their struggles or problems can be a sign of bad listening also. This is because the client wouldn’t know how to interpret that and it can be taken in a wrong way.
Non attending is another sign of showing no interest and not being aware of the issues being told to them. Which is another sign of bad listening
Good Listening:
Being aware of your voice whilst counselling is vital. This means that being wary of your tone of voice, the pace of how you’re talking. A good way of speaking to your client is being calm, having a good volume to your voice will be effective during sessions. It is important for us to be focused on what we’re being told by the client because if we are interested in the conversation, it’ll be easier for us to show good listening.
Linking to Roger’s core conditions, empathy needs to be shown during sessions. This will be possible to be shown if the counsellor is showing active listening. Good listening is important in this case because you will be able to understand more easily how the client is feeling from their point of view.
Providing a safe space and comfortable surrounding is another way a good session can proceed. It’ll cause less distractions and it’ll also be easier to listen to your client because they’ll lean more towards opening up.
Knowing the difference between responding and replying is important because it’ll show your client if you’re listening to them. If you reply to your client, it means you’re giving them more of a direct and specific answer to what they’re saying or asking. It can even come across do giving them advice which as a counsellor you cannot do. However, responding is more talking on a broader term and more reacting to what’s being said to them. It shows your understanding to what they’re saying and for this to be accomplished, you have to show good listening.
Showing attending behaviours is a sign of showing interest and attentiveness to the client. This is a good way of showing that you’re listening because if the client feels interested in, then they will open up more. It’s just helpful to be present in the moment, this will help the sessions run more smoothly.
Active listening - all examples above shows this.