Advanced Essay Grading Analysis: Enlightenment and Revolutions
Analysis of the 6-Point Score Essay
Contextualization Strategy: The student successfully established context by defining the Enlightenment. Their context included: * The Alignment: Described as an exchange and a movement away from the power of the church and government. * Questioning Authority: The period involved questioning traditional authority, important figures, and the law.
Line of Reasoning and Evidence: The essay maintained a strong line of reasoning by hitting all parts of the prompt. Evidence included: * American Revolution (Political changes). * Haitian Revolution (Political changes). * Women's Rights (Social changes).
Criteria for the Complexity Point: This essay earned a (full points), including the complexity point, through what the College Board rubrics define as "nuanced" analysis. * The student provided specific examples of how Enlightenment ideals directly led to specific movements. * The structural setup mirrored a Document Based Question (DBQ) style, even though it was a Long Essay Question (LEQ), by referencing specific documents and ideals.
Specific Analysis of the Declaration of Independence: * The essay noted "heavy tones of the Enlightenment" within the Declaration. * It highlighted Thomas Jefferson's argument that Britain's rules infringed upon natural rights. * The speaker notes that the student treated the document with an analysis of "message" and "tone," effectively performing a Point of View (POV) analysis.
Future Connections: The essay linked the work of Mary Wollstonecraft to future historical developments, specifically the Civil Rights movements.
Analysis of the 4-Point Score Essay
The Thesis: The College Board awarded a point for a thesis that the speaker considered "minimally accepted" and "questionable." * Text of Thesis: "The enlightenment ideas encourage movements for political change and social reform because it created many movements and rebellions and hope of freedom for colonies or con controlled countries." * Critique: The speaker noted this thesis lacked a clear line of reasoning. Because standards for "minimum acceptance" can change year to year based on prompt difficulty, the speaker recommends following the model of the -point essay to guarantee the point.
Contextualization: This was also considered a "minimal" context point. * The student mentioned Adam Smith and John Locke. * They referenced the shift in how people viewed their "natural rights," specifically defining them as "life, liberty, [and] property."
Evidence and Facts: The student provided the required two pieces of evidence: * The Constitution. * Enlightenment Ideas: Specifically John Locke's ideas regarding natural rights ().
Failure in Analysis: The essay received points for analysis. * The student wrote: "these ideas helped create building blocks in The United States to build off and give a sense of freedom to so many people." * Reason for Failure: Simply stating the importance of the Enlightenment is not analysis. To earn the point, the student must explicitly show the connection between the rebellion and the Enlightenment ideas.
Analysis of the 2-Point Score Essay
Contextualization Failure: This essay received no context points. While the student mentioned the Enlightenment and the Haitian Revolution, they failed to explain the relationship or provide sufficient detail.
Historical Inaccuracies: The student made significant factual errors by attributing the French and Haitian Revolutions to ideologies that did not yet exist or were not applicable: * Claimed Enlightenment ideas included Social Darwinism and Marxism. * The speaker notes that the College Board does not "subtract" points for wrong information, but they cannot give credit for it.
Evidence Credit: Despite the errors, the student earned one point for evidence because they eventually mentioned "natural rights" in the context of the French Revolution. * The "Repaste" Rule: Even though the student incorrectly linked the Haitian Revolution to Social Darwinism, the College Board graders focused on the mention of "natural rights" later in the sentence to award the point.
Thesis Placement: The student placed their thesis at the very end of the essay. * Text of Thesis: "Enlightenment spread globally impacted and spread many assassinations to revolt and initiate social and political reform." * Strategic Advice: The speaker suggests restating the thesis at the end of every essay. If the first attempt at the beginning of the essay is not accepted, a slightly different wording at the end might pass.
Persistence and Scoring: The speaker emphasizes that even if a student "blinks out" or knows very little, they should keep writing. A score of out of can still contribute to an overall passing score (a , , or ) on the AP exam when combined with the Multiple Choice Question (MCQ) section.
Questions & Discussion
Interaction on Note-Taking: * Student: "I just need to get closer so you could keep taking notes." * Instructor: "Keep taking notes for what? What are you doing?" * Student: "I'm taking notes on what you're saying… what you say it turns into notes."
Interaction on Grading the 4-Point Essay: * Instructor: "This one, they gave him a four. I don't think I would have given it a four." * Student: "What would you have given it?" * Instructor: "I give it a three… Four key. That's so generous."
Interaction on Thesis Writing: * Student: "So you should, like, directly say, like, the thesis?" * Instructor: "To be guaranteed the point… I would do it like the number six point [the scoring one]. That's how I would do it."
Interaction on Content Errors: * Instructor: "Enlightenment ideas such as social Darwinism and Marxism led to the French revolutions and Haitian revolution. Is that true?" * Students: "No." * Instructor: "Where did he go get Marxism?… Where did he see the Marxism? Where did that come from?"