Interpersonal Communication Notes

As You Enter Class

  • Get handout and work privately/independently.
  • Read the scenario.
  • Answer questions (initial reactions, no right/wrong answers).
  • Fold sheet in half.
  • Wait quietly until time is called.

Communication: Units & How It Affects Relationships

Introduction to Interpersonal Communication

  • Miller addresses:
    • Nonverbal Communication
    • Verbal Communication
    • Dysfunctional Communication and What to Do About It
  • Questions asked:
    • Does online interaction (video calls, phone calls, Discord chats) with friends negate loneliness? Or does it make a difference in meeting/hanging out face to face (in the same physical space)?
    • What is the healthiest way to navigate an argument with your partner?
    • What should you do when your communication style isn’t working?
    • How do you correctly criticize a significant other or ask them to change the way they do something?

What is Interpersonal Communication in Relationships?

  • Complex process that:
    • Provides information (self-disclosure).
    • Regulates pace and nature of interaction.
    • Establishes/affirms nature of relationship.
    • Asserts power.
    • Influences impressions.

Key Aspects of Communication

  • Self-disclosure: What kinds of content do we exchange?
  • Regulation: What are examples of things we do to pace the interaction?
  • Definition: What are ways we establish or affirm the type of relationship in an interaction?
  • Power: How do we assert power/dominance in an interaction?
  • Impression Management: How do we manage how we’re seen in interactions?

Scenario Analysis

  • Self-Disclosure: What kinds of content were exchanged?
  • Regulation: What did the characters do to pace the interaction?
  • Definition: What ways did they establish or affirm the type of relationship they are in?
  • Power: How did the characters assert power/dominance?
  • Impression Management: What were the characters doing to shape how they were being seen by the other?

Fundamental Elements of Communication

  • Interaction between:
    • The sender
    • The receiver
    • Conditions of the surrounding environment (social, physical, sensory, intended function of the setting)

Fundamental Elements of Communication

  • Language/Content:
    • Nature & specifics of what is said
    • Instrumental
    • Expressive
    • Spoken, signed, written, graphically represented
  • Nonverbal Communication:
    • Facial expression
    • Gaze
    • Body movement and posture
    • Touch
    • Body distance
    • Smell
  • Paralanguage:
    • Clarity
    • Vocabulary
    • Pressure
    • Organization
    • Rhythm
    • Rate

Interpersonal Gaps

  • Noticing and correctly interpreting cues (verbal, paralanguage, and nonverbal) is positively associated with relationship success.
    • Sensitivity and understanding increase when satisfaction increases.
    • Satisfaction increases when sensitivity and understanding increase.
    • Some research shows some gender differences, but context and PxPxE may be more relevant than demographics.
  • Interpersonal Gaps:
    • When sender’s intentions are misinterpreted, relationships may never form.
    • In close relationships, gaps tend to be associated with relationships dissatisfaction.

Communication Mediation

  • Communication mediated by:
    • Sender’s delivery capacity and needs
    • Receiver’s perceptual capacity and needs
    • Environmental interference

Small Differences, Big Impact

  • What are examples of small things that could have changed that communication scenario?

Sharing Communication Scenarios

  • Unfold your handout (from start of class)
  • Get in groups of 3 or 4
  • Share your perspectives
    • How were your reactions the same or different?
    • What factors affected each person’s reactions and impressions?

The Power of Nonverbal Behavior

  • Humans are good at identifying indicators of threat (power) and are attracted to positive emotional expression (influence).
  • Facial expressions:
    • We can usually identify genuine vs. faked.
    • We’re drawn to smiles.
    • We react strongly to expressions of fear (size of amygdala seems to influence fear and thus empathy!).
    • Better interpreters of nuanced facial expressions within our own culture.
  • Eye gaze:
    • Communicates affection and dominance.
    • Visual dominance ratio (typical: when speaking, we spend 40% of time looking at receiver; when they’re speaking, we spend 60% looking at).
  • Body posture:
    • We are attracted to and tend to be responsive to open, space-taking posture.

Words and Self-Disclosure

  • Revealing personal information (Self-Disclosure):
    • Cornerstone of intimate relationships.
    • Some people encourage more self-disclosure in interactions than others (“high openers”).
  • Altman & Taylor’s (1973) social penetration theory:
    • Relationships begin with low self-disclosure and increase over time (if satisfying) in terms of:
      • breadth (variety)
      • depth (significance)
  • Reis & Shaver (1988): Interpersonal Process of Intimacy
    1. Meaningful self-disclosure
    2. Responses that show interest and empathy
    3. Must experience “perceived partner responsiveness”

Regulating Self-Disclosure

  • Self-disclosure is generally very good for relationships and for individuals.
  • Desire for privacy/private thought:
    • “Selective secrecy” in intimate relationships can contribute to satisfaction if based in prosocial values.
  • Coming out:
    • Recognition of potential turning point in relationship.
    • Fear of discrimination, rejection.
  • Avoiding “taboo” topics:
    • Should we even discuss how the relationship’s going??
  • Empathy and pacing: avoiding “oversharing”.

Digital Communication

  • Does it help or hurt relationships?

Summary of Communication Components

  • Communication is complex interaction of:
    • Personality, capacity, and needs of each person PLUS the environment.
    • Verbal, nonverbal, and paralanguage components.
  • Verbal Communication involves:
    • Self-disclosure (which becomes broader & deeper as relationships grow --social penetration theory--and demands responsiveness).
    • Skill, social training (and gender?), and other social/personal values play roles in self-disclosure and responsiveness.
    • Supplemented by paralanguage components.
  • Nonverbal Communication is:
    • Powerful in terms of communicating and asserting dominance and eliciting reactions and attraction.

Next Steps

  • FYI: next discussion assignments are a little different
    • #3A: Make a detailed plan to conduct interviews (due next week)
    • #3B: Share what you learned and find out what others learned!