SPEECH

Living in this society, How does it feel? 

Throughout the years in my life, I’ve always felt completely detached from reality.

As if talking to a person felt like a chore. Everyday, I had to pretend to be someone I’m not, someone who you can look up to and prepare for situations I did not want to face. 

Would you believe me if my dad was bipolar? 

Maybe then, you would automatically think “Oh, no wonder why she acts this way, no wonder her mother’s daughter wanted to take psychology as a course.” 

Honestly, I'm pretty invested in learning about myself. Would you say that’s selfish?

I’m aware of other people’s feelings, why they act purposely

The biggest question is “Why do I care so much?”

It’s not always easy to talk about these kinds of sensitive things.

I’m not the person you seem to notice, 

Last year, I met one of the best people I could ever have to be called as my friends.

Although, not too long ago I had to leave, to chase for the dreams I've longed to live.

But I can’t help but think, “Would I be happier if I stayed, should it always be this inconsistent?”

Do I have to get to this point? When I am tired supporting someone who isn’t my own? 

Do I always have to look at my phone, waiting for a day that I might just explode

I want to run, 

Far from this place, alone or with the people I’m used to

Why does it end up with me crying? I wish I knew,

I’m now left here to survive my home and school

Pressure, burnout and the force to do better

Dissociating from life I call my own.