Healing the Soul of a Woman & Setting Boundaries in Relationships
Women Builders: Godly Character
Program focuses on building godly character in women.
Key attributes: prayerfulness, industriousness, commitment to reading the Word, caregiving, providing, encouraging, investing, and being a virtuous wife.
Emphasizes valuing appearance, emotional strength, diligence, modesty, affirmation, and excellence.
The program's theme is based on Proverbs 14:1: A wise woman builds.
Healing the Soul of a Woman
Focuses on overcoming emotional wounds.
It addresses the question of whether a woman deeply hurt by life circumstances or people she loved can be healed and trust again.
Introduction
Psalm 147:3 (ESV): "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."
Even women who have experienced deep hurt, such as sexual abuse or abandonment, can be healed.
The book aims to be an all-inclusive manual from a biblical perspective on emotional healing.
Many people are walking around with wounded souls from past hurts, unaware that they can be healed or how to begin.
Just as bodies can be sick, so can souls, and God wants to heal every area of hurt, including the soul.
The soul encompasses the mind, will, and emotions, and if it is wounded, a person cannot enjoy life, regardless of material possessions or circumstances.
Hurts stemming from shame, anger, bitterness, depression, doubt, insecurity, guilt, or fear must be confronted and addressed.
It is possible to rise above wrong thinking and live a fulfilling life with God's help.
Jesus offers complete healing and restoration for our souls, making them new again, as mentioned in Psalm 23:3.
God intends for women to experience unconditional love, infinite worth, wholeness, righteousness, peace, and joy.
Healing takes time and can be painful as old wounds are opened to remove the infection poisoning the soul.
Women have two choices: to continue limping along or to actively pursue wholeness.
The History of Women
Women are God's idea, created as a helper for Adam, to walk beside him, not to be walked over.
After creating Adam and Eve, God placed them in the Garden of Eden, intending for them to enjoy life and fellowship with Him, with the freedom to make choices and have authority over their realm.
God instructed them not to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil (Genesis 2:9, 16-17).
God wanted His creation to be filled with life and to know only good, not evil.
God knew that Satan would deceive Eve and that they would eat from the forbidden tree, opening the door for pain and dysfunction.
God created man with free will to choose Him, not as puppets without choice.
Even though God created them with free choice, He also had a plan for complete restoration and wholeness through Jesus.
God loves us so much that He planned to let His only Son pay for our sins and bring us full salvation, filling us with His life.
No matter what has damaged our souls, we can be healed and totally restored through Jesus.
Darkness is swallowed up in light as Jesus is both Life and Light (John 1:4).
God has a good plan for everyone, regardless of what has happened to them.
After Satan deceived Eve, God made a statement in Genesis 3:14-15, explaining why women have been marginalized:
God cursed the serpent.
God declared He would put enmity between the serpent and the woman, and between their offspring.
Eve's offspring (Jesus Christ) would bruise the serpent's head, defeating him, while Satan would bruise His heel (attack us in our daily walk).
Jesus died in our place, taking our pain and sorrow and paying for our sins.
Jesus rose from the dead after three days, taking possession of the keys of death and Hades (Revelation 1:18).
Through Jesus, Satan's authority was defeated, and a life filled with healing and abundance is available to those who receive Jesus as their Savior by faith.
God will lift you out of any pit, set you on high places, and give you peace and indescribable joy.
God will meet you where you are and help you get to where you need to be.
Satanic Attack on Women
The cruel treatment of women is attributed to a demonic attack. Examples:
Voting Rights: The Nineteenth Amendment to the US Constitution granted women the right to vote in 1920.
Equal Pay and Property Rights: Women employed full-time in the US lose over 840 billion every year due to the wage gap.
Education: Worldwide, 65 million girls are not in school, and two-thirds of the 774 million illiterate people are female.
Impact of Education: If all women had primary education, child deaths would decrease by 15 percent. If all women had secondary education, child deaths would be cut in half, saving 3 million lives. Mother's education also improves child nutrition, preventing stunting growth due to malnutrition in 1.7 million children if all women had primary education.
Gendercide: Estimated 126 million women are missing due to gendercide (murder based on sex). Every year, 2 million baby girls are lost to sex-selective abortion and infanticide.
Violence and Abuse Against Women: Approximately 35 percent of women worldwide have experienced physical or sexual violence by an intimate partner or sexual violence by a nonpartner. Some national studies show up to 70 percent.
Human Trafficking: Women and girls account for about 70 percent of human trafficking victims globally, with girls representing two out of every three child-trafficking victims. 98% of victims of trafficking for sexual exploitation are women and girls. The average age a teen enters the sex trade in the US is twelve to fourteen years old.
Women have made progress, especially in the Western world, but still face abuse.
The battle for freedom and restoration of women is ongoing, and healing can occur through faith in God.
Many women don't see their true worth and value due to a long history of being devalued and dishonored.
The statement "I'm just a woman" is telling in itself.
When called to ministry, experiencing rejection for being a woman, despite feeling called to teach God's Word.
Judged, criticized, and ostracized, leading to prayer and a reminder from God: "Joyce, I know you are a woman!"
God wants us to continue doing what He is leading us to do no matter how much opposition we get.
Some women fighting for their rights have become rebellious and unhealthy.
Women were tired of being oppressed that they decided to blast their way out of bondage.
God gave Adam (men) authority over Eve (women) for her protection, not to rule her and women have an innate desire to be taken care of, treasured, and to feel safe.
The beautiful relationship between men and women that God intended has been lost and we can look to God's Word to experience a healthy balance.
Respecting Dave's authority is important, submitting to one another as unto to the Lord.
The history does not have to be our destiny, and we must be determined to have a good finish. "I didn't have a good start in life, but I am determined to have a good finish!"
Attitude
Having a bad attitude results from wounded souls.
Thoughts like, "No man is ever going to push me around again!" or "You cannot trust men" are examples of a hardened attitude.
Invite Jesus into your attitude.
Meekness and humility are strength under control, not weakness.
Let the same humble attitude be in you that was in Christ Jesus (Philippians 2:5-8).
Restoration includes having a healthy attitude, knowing when to stand against wrong and when to give in.
God wants to fight your battles; when God fights on your side, you always win!
Living the Best Life Available
True life is through Jesus Christ a real life, the best life that anyone can possibly live: a life of being made right with God, and one of peace and joy (Romans 14:17).
The best kind of life is only found in God because He is life.
Do You Need an Upgrade?
We are very aggressive about technology, so why wouldn't we want the best life available and be equally aggressive in making sure we have it?
Just as you have to learn how to work the new upgrade you get, we have to learn how to work with God and His plan for our lives.
Ephesians 2:10 talks about God's plan of living the good life prearranged and made ready for us to live.
Through the salvation offered in Jesus we are born again, or made new once again.
During that time I've had many upgrades. I've continued to learn things and understand more fully what is available to me through my relationship with Him.
Everyone falls short of fully living the life God has made available through Christ, and that includes me.
A major upgrade in 1976 occurred as a result of crying out to God for change.
We often reduce Christianity to church attendance, perhaps putting a little money in the offering basket, saying a prayer when we are desperate, maybe reading a little Scripture occasionally, and trying to be good.
Changes began to happen in the soul through studying God's Word and applying what I was learning.
One must admit their faults and stop blaming all of their problems on their past and other people and face truth.
A New Way of Living
Jesus said He is the Way (John 14:6).
Christianity is not merely belonging to a church and trying to be a good person, but it is about Jesus and what He has done for us.
He offers Himself as the sacrifice and payment for our sins and guilt.
Once you are born again and receive Jesus as Savior, you no longer need to be led by rules and regulations, but you can be led and prompted by the Holy Spirit, who will guide you into the full plan of God for your life.
It truly is a whole new way of living.
Jesus had opened up through His death and resurrection (Hebrews 10:20).
God's instruction to forgive our enemies, those who abuse and misuse us, and to actually love and bless them.
Forgiving an abusive father and a neglectful mother seemed unreasonable, and it took a long time.
Each path the Holy Spirit has led me down on this new way has always ended up bringing me to a better place than where I was previously.
God will never ask us to do anything difficult unless it will lead us to a better life.
Learning the new way can be challenging, and it may be tempting to revert to old ways, but if we persist in the new way, it will lead us to greater fruitfulness and ease.
Loving God's Word
The Bible teaches us the new way of living, and in the process, we begin to experience healing for our wounded souls and hope for the future.
Solomon wrote about the healing found in following God's instruction:
My son, attend to my words; consent and submit to my sayings. Let them not depart from your sight; keep them in the center of your heart. For they are life to those who find them, healing and health to all their flesh (Proverbs 4:20-22).
God's words are life to us and bring healing to every area of our life, including our inner life (soul).
Our entire being is healed through the life-giving power of God's Word.
God's Word renews our mind and teaches us an entirely new way to think about God, life, ourselves, and other people.
God's Word is a light for your path (Psalm 119:105).
Study it and do what it says to do, and you will be healed and made whole.
God's Word is medicine for our wounded souls.
Medicines inside pills are life-giving, healing power that promises to heal your infection, stop your pain, or heal whatever is hurting you. (you get a refill, study again and it makes you well).
God's Word is filled with promises for those who act on what He says to do, and these promises are for everyone who believes and puts their trust in Him.
If Bible study sounds daunting, join a group of godly people who are on the same path as you are and study together.
Another way you might receive help is through group therapy.
If you need healing for your soul and you don't know where to go to get help, ask God to lead you down the healing path He has planned for you.
Slides Content: Hope for the Hurting
Slide 1: Women Builders program title.
Slide 2: "He healeth the broken in heart, and bindeth up their wounds." - Psalm 147:3 (KJV).
Slide 4: Who is this great healer? Heal me, O Lord, and I shall be healed; save me, and I shall be saved. Jeremiah 17:14.
Jesus preached good news and healed every disease among the people. News about him spread all over Syria and people brought to him all who were ill with various diseases, those suffering severe pain, the demon-possessed, those having seizures and the paralyzed, and he healed them.
Slide 5: God is such that His heart intensely yearns to heal and repair his creation. Mankind has become so terribly marred by sin, sorrow, evil and countless disorders which affects the physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual components of man's being.
Men suffer from sickness, birth defects, emotional illness, death and bereavement, loneliness, behavioral dysfunction and a lot of heartaches and problems known to man.Slide 6: God wants to repair these blotches on His beautiful handiwork. He has pledged repeatedly in both Testaments that he will completely repair the earth and all creation, heal the world's uncountable sorrows and restore the human race to a position of nobility.
Slide 7: Topics: Emotional wound healing, What is an emotional wound?, What is healing?, Why promote healing?, Signs of emotional wounding, Causes of emotional wounds, and Steps to promote healing.
Slide 8: From a physical point of view, the word "wound" refers to a living or body tissue that is damaged. When the word is linked to emotions, it refers to the damage to one's emotions. Such damage is not visible to one's eyes and people may not be aware of the injury. A wounded heart is one that has been hurt emotionally.
Slide 9: "The words of a talebearer are as wounds and they go down into the innermost parts of the belly." - Proverbs 26:22.
Slide 10: The Hebrew word for "heal" is the verb rapha pronounced "raw-faw" which means to repair, restore health, heal, mend, fix or cure. Rapha occurs more than 60 times in the Old Testament. In Exodus 15:26 the Lord says; "I am the Lord that healeth thee.".
+Rapha also occurs in many well-known verses such as Psalm 103:3 referring to the Lord "who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy diseases.". In Isaiah 53:5, the Bible says we are healed by the stripes of God's sacrificed Lamb, Jesus the Messiah.Slide 11: In Psalm 41:4 David says:' Lord, be merciful unto me: heal my soul; for I have sinned against thee." The human soul often needs healing. Brokenness, injury of the soul can be caused by sin and an act of God's mercy brings healing to the soul.
Mental health professionals deal with multitudes of mentally injured or traumatized people; sometimes they succeed in promoting healing and sometimes they do not when such healing is beyond human hands.
Slide 12: Why promote healing? To get rid of an emotional pain, to prevent the wound from festering and getting worse. Healed wounds promote self-confidence, emotional intelligence, spiritual maturity, contentment and honest relationships.
Slide 13: An unhealed wound has a sabotaging effect or detrimental effect on both physical and mental health such as flattened positive feelings or not performing at our best. The price you pay for not attending to your hurts is what happens later in the different areas of your life like relationships, marriage and work.
Slide 14: Untreated emotional wounds cause physical, mental, emotional and spiritual impairment. They can set off mental health disorders such as depression, anxiety and addiction. They can wipe out relationships, add to job failures, obscure life's purposes and ultimately destroy life.
Slide 15: Signs of emotional wounding: Anger, sadness, fear, anxiety, shame, bitterness, cynical, selfishness, vengeful, depression or obsessive behaviour, negative interpretation of events, low self esteem, over-sensitivity to a critical comment. The more wounds you have, the less happy you feel because now and then something will touch your wounds and make you feel bad.
Slide 16: Causes of emotional wounds: Rejection, retrenchment or disappointment, abuse (physical, rape & domestic violence), betrayal or an affair, divorce or a break of a close relationship, death of a loved one, chronic or life threatening illness, a traumatic event.
Slide 17: Causes of emotional wounds are caused by someone or an event that emotionally hurts you. Those caused by people involve someone saying or doing things to hurt you, spreading rumours to discredit a person, rude degrading remarks and abuse of any form.
Slide 18: Emotional wounds are caused by events - Death of a loved one, physical impairment due to an accident or illness, loss of material possession, an affair, trauma, persecution, violence or war. Wounds that do not heal can contaminate every aspect of your life, affect how you view the world, how you relate to others and how you conduct your life in general.
Slide 19: Most common causes of emotional wounds: Disappointment, rejection, an affair, divorce, death, domestic violence, rape and wounds to children.
Slide 20: Treating your wound by attending to the hurt, letting the injustice go, forgiving and acquiring proper emotional self-defence skills will minimise the risk of further infection and maximise the healing process. "you cannot prevent the birds of sadness from flying over your head but you can prevent them from nesting in your hair." - Chinese Proverb.
Slide 21: Steps to promote healing differ according to the causes of the wounds. Healing from infidelity or divorce may differ from bereavement, rape or domestic violence.
Slide 22: General steps include the exploration of hurt (what happened and how), expression of feelings (anger, hurt, sadness), getting caring attention and hope, gaining perspective on your hurt (why and the true significance of it or the bigger picture, and forgiveness (move on without negative feelings towards the person who hurt you).
Slide 23: Healing after the trauma of divorce or death of a loved one involves shock, denial (refusing to believe it has happened), bargaining/appeasement (apologizing, complying, trying to win her/him back), and depression (feelings of gloom, hopelessness and sadness). The journey may differ from person to person.
Slide 24: Christ can bring hope to those who are hurting and are in great pain because of illness, loss and disappointment in their lives. He promised to be with us when we go through difficulties. "when you pass through the waters, I will be with you and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned the flames will not set you ablaze."
Slide 25: When you are emotionally wounded, he promises to be with you. He is there in your pain and He understands it and will help you heal. Expect the help of God as you struggle to heal. He is there all the time.
Slide 26: Jesus Christ the Healer is an Old hymn that states "There is a balm in Gilead, to make the wounded whole….to heal the sin-sick soul." Jesus healed those who were physically and mentally sick who came to him. He will do the same for us if we come to Him in prayer.
Slide 27: "Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." - Matthew 11:28.
Slide 28: Thank you and God bless.
Setting Boundaries in Relationships
Slide 25: A boundary is something that indicates bounds or limits, a territory or a line that should not be crossed. It is very important to know your personal boundaries in a relationship to ensure that you are treated with respect and your identity is safeguarded.
Slide 26: Types of boundaries - Most people are very aware of boundaries for material objects, yet struggle to realize the importance of implementing emotional, physical, spiritual and mental boundaries for self.
Slide 27: Lack of boundaries effects include: Depression, heaviness in your life, Chip on your shoulder, resentment and anger.
Slide 25: People have right to set boundaries and relationships of all kinds can be complicated but Set boundaries to keep your relationships functioning properly.
Slide 26: The first application of 'boundaries' resides in differentiating between what is/is not within our responsibility and is also the ability to say 'NO' to people when they inconsiderably ask too much of us thus putting our life at the risk of chaos and confusion (This requires Confrontation).
Slide 27: Confrontation is easier to talk about and not to people. Other person will not be happy with it as there will be war against it.
Must be calm when you confront and let to leave it to God, therefore don't mistreat the person.
Slide 25: Take responsibility, set boundaries and enforce them as well as Help people but don't sacrifice/destroy your own life.
Slide 26: Do you want to be healed, Paralyzed man 38 years?
Slide 27: The need of knowing yourself in order to treat yourself decently first, in order to be more confident.
Slide 25: You can be stretched too far, you have to go on with life where a Story of the Good Samaritan (Body of believers, share the burden, delegate)
Slide 26: Setting boundaries is a good way to develop and maintain trust and strengthen a relationship (Women love to give hints not a prenuptial)
Slide 27: Identify with your spouse what areas of your marriage need some sort of boundaries to benefit the marriage (curfews, work restrictions or relationships with friends)
Slide 25: set small boundaries initially as each of you becomes more proficient at avoiding breaking the marriage boundaries, you can stretch yourself further.
Slide 26: The Compliant Person: A compliant person's gates are always open and he say 'YES' to the right and the wrong, to the good and the bad. Such people do not have the ability to say 'NO' to a task they cannot perform for one reason or the other.
Slide 27: the Guilt person who is harsh on themselves and full of self blame for things for which God does not convict them therefore they possess 'weak conscience'
Personalities related to Boundaries
Slide 25: The Fearful Person whose deeds are prompted by fear of losing other people's acceptance, or arousing their anger, punishment, and/or devaluation or depreciation.
Slide 26: avoidance Person whose gates are closed to the good and bad because such people, under the misconstrued concept of "independence", refuse help either out of feeling of unworthiness or haughtiness.
Slide 27: Controlling Person who cannot tolerate a 'NO' by using Manipulation, a device commonly used by Satan and dominantly by women to convince Eve to sin
Conclusion
Slide 26: Aggression is a device used mostly by men through which they appeal to violence in order to obtain what they want.
Slide 27: The Holy Bible approves of the concept of "No" as a protective weapon when applied at the right place and right time and Parents should train themselves to accept a 'NO' from their children.
Slide 25: glory be to God in the highest.
Slide 26: conclusion as God helps to conduct a peaceful life. 1-2
Others points
Refuse self-pity
And when you pray tonight, speak from the raw places