Poly-Parenting and the Legal Frontier of Plural Marriage: A Comprehensive Study Guide
Evolutionary Psychology and Spousal Selection Preferences
Joe Henrich, a professor of evolutionary psychology at the University of British Columbia, conducts a thought experiment with his college students regarding spousal selection.
The scenario asks students to choose between two potential spouses: Lover A (a regular middle-class individual) or Lover B (a billionaire with ample time and money who is already married and seeks a second legal spouse).
Results of the experiment indicate that of women surveyed would consider being the second wife of a billionaire rather than the first wife of an average man.
In contrast, only approximately of men would consider a similar reversed scenario.
This data suggests a potential shift in how young, educated Westerners contemplate non-traditional marital structures, despite decades of efforts to promote women's solo power and traditional monogamous "boy meets girl" narratives.
The Intersection of Polygamy and the Same-Sex Marriage Debate
Proponents of traditional marriage (one man and one woman) have argued that shifts in defining marriage, such as recognizing gay marriage, could lead to a redefine of the institution into unrecognizable forms.
Former presidential candidate Rick Santorum famously questioned on the campaign trail: "If you think it's O.K. for two [men to marry], then you have to differentiate with me as to why it's not O.K. for three."
Despite a lack of historical precedent linking gay marriage directly to polygamy, polygamists feel emboldened by growing public support for same-sex unions.
Joe Darger argues that society cannot advocate for gay marriage while continuing to criminalize plural families for who they love and how they organize their households.
Profile: The Darger Family of Herriman, Utah
Joe Darger is a building contractor residing in Herriman, Utah, which is located approximately from Salt Lake City.
He lives with his three wives: Alina, Vicki, and Valerie (Val).
Household composition includes of Joe's children residing in the home.
Spousal Backgrounds: - Vicki and Valerie are identical twins. - Joe marriage history: He proposed to and married Alina and Vicki simultaneously at the request of the women. - Valerie joined the family later after fleeing a previous polygamous marriage that was involved in a financial scandal.
Domestic Operations: - The family occupies a home with three master bedrooms, each reflecting the style of one wife. - The wives share domestic responsibilities: two work outside the home running a high-end cleaning firm, while Vicki typically manages the toddlers. - Household chores are shared; each wife cooks two days a week, and Val prepares bread from home-ground flour. - The family utilizes a van referred to as the "polyg rig." - Tensions exist, such as children complaining about eating "polygamy cheese," which is deeply discounted and sometimes moldy.
Scheduling and Intimacy: - Joe Darger detailed his schedule in the book Love Times Three. - He spends every night with a different wife. - He emphasizes that their time together involves significant amounts of listening, stating, "It can't all be about the sex."
Legal Battles and the Activism of Kody Brown
Kody Brown, the patriarch of the TLC reality show Sister Wives, is a main figure in the modern push for polygamy validation.
Brown launched a lawsuit challenging the constitutionality of the bigamy statute in Utah.
His legal representative is a professor at George Washington University Law School.
On , Utah County announced it would not prosecute the Brown family or other polygamists as long as they were consenting adults.
Brown continues to seek the full overturning of the law on the grounds of freedom of religion, with a hearing scheduled for .
Media impact: Studies of the suggest that television representations of gay characters decreased negative feelings among viewers; Brown hopes Sister Wives and his memoir (which reached No. on the New York Times best-seller list) will have a similar effect for multipartner unions.
Cultural Prevalence and Statistics on Plural Marriage
Demographics: - The Columbia Law Review estimated in that between and families in the U.S. practice plural marriage, driven by both fundamentalist Mormons and Muslim immigrants. - Deborah Anapol, author of Polyamory in the 21st Century, estimates polyamorists comprise to of the population.
Media Representation: - Shows like Polyamory: Married and Dating and The Girls Next Door. - Movies such as Oliver Stone's Savages and Woody Allen's Vicky Cristina Barcelona. - Celebrity examples include the rapper Akon, who previously claimed to have three wives.
Professional Recognition: - The American Psychiatric Association included a forum on polyamory at its annual meeting in May.
Definitions and Philosophical Concepts
Polyamory: Roughly defined as having multiple lovers by mutual agreement.
Compersion: A term used by polyamorists (possibly originating from a San Francisco commune in the ) to describe the feeling of joy derived from a lover's happiness with another person.
Living the Principle: A fundamentalist Mormon term for polygamy, reflecting a belief that the practice mirrors the selfless interconnectedness of heaven.
Bleeding the Beast: A form of civil disobedience where nonlegal wives claim welfare benefits as single mothers to financially strain the government.
Perspectives in Comparative Religion
Judaism: - Scripturally: Practiced in the oldest Torah stories, though some passages warn of dangers. Some texts view monogamy as divine harmony. - In Practice: Banned among Western Jews circa AD . Legally banned in Israel.
Christianity: - Scripturally: St. Paul endorses marriage between one man and one woman in Corinthians; Jesus cites Adam and Eve as the model for monogamous sacredness. - In Practice: Not tolerated since ancient times, aligning with Roman law; however, serial monogamy is widely tolerated.
Islam: - Scripturally: The Koran (circa ) allows men to have up to four wives, provided all are treated equally (Muhammad had more). - In Practice: Still permitted and practiced under Islamic law, primarily among the wealthy in parts of Africa and the Middle East.
Social, Ethical, and Developmental Critiques
Subjugation and Abuse: Mary Mackert, a former polygamist who became the wife of a man at age , describes polygamy as a source of neglect and infighting. She walked out after and notes that many women use "denial" as a defense mechanism.
Impact on Men and Society: Joe Henrich, serving as an expert witness in a British Columbia case, argued that monogamous norms lead to greater economic success, increased trade, and lower crime. Polygamy can leave younger and poorer men without partners, creating a destabilizing social influence.
Child Welfare: - Studies of century families showed that children of less well-off monogamous families were more likely to live past age than children of wealthy polygamous families. - This is attributed to monogamy shifting fatherly attention from acquiring wives to investing in existing children. - Joe Darger admits it is a struggle to be an involved father to children, relying on mothers to be the "eyes and ears" for school meetings.
Legal Precedents and Law Enforcement
Texas vs. Utah: Mary Mackert praises Texas for convicting Wendell Loy Nielsen (an associate of FLDS leader Warren Jeffs) on bigamy charges, resulting in a sentence. Jeffs himself is serving life for sexual assault of children.
Canadian Ruling: In British Columbia, Judge Robert Bauman ruled that while polygamy bans infringe on religious rights, the infringement is justifiable because the practice is "inherently harmful."
Current Policy: Utah Attorney General Mark Shurtleff has stated he will not prosecute polygamy unless other crimes (like abuse or fraud) are involved. The Department of Justice has filed a federal lawsuit against two FLDS towns for religious discrimination under the Fair Housing Act.