Comprehensive Study Notes on Transitional States
Publication Framework, Legal Disclaimers, and Literary Epigraphs
Transitional States is a work of transgender fiction written by Misty Malveaux and illustrated by Chas, published in 2001 by Friendly Applications, Inc. under the imprint Reluctant Press TG Publishers as a "New Woman" novel. The front matter establishes explicit medical and legal boundaries regarding its subject matter. The narrative is designated strictly as fiction, noting that any resemblance to living or deceased individuals is entirely coincidental and that neither the author nor the publisher encourages readers to imitate the behaviors portrayed. Readers contemplating medical procedures such as gender reassignment surgery, hormone replacement therapy, or other body alterations are directed to consult a qualified therapist operating under the Harry Benjamin Standards of Care for Gender Identity Disorder.
The publisher highlights the legal mechanisms protecting digital professional fiction under United States and international copyright law. The text notes that Friendly Applications, Inc., doing business as Reluctant Press, holds exclusive publishing rights. The copyright advisory explicitly outlines the statutory civil penalties for infringement: courts may award damages between and per infringed work for non-willful violations, which escalate up to for willful infringement, alongside liability for injunctive relief and legal fees. Criminal penalties for willful infringement undertaken for private financial gain or commercial advantage encompass up to five years of imprisonment, monetary fines up to , or both, with varying state and international penalties.
The literary structure is guided by thematic epigraphs from poetry and popular music. Poetry by c. l. hight appears as recurring motifs marking transitional phases of the text:
"Across the fault line you peered At what you did not Understand In the Valley of Decision I cried Tears of emptiness Unending Into the future imperfect I fly Unsure of beginning or end, But with peace."
Musical epigraphs establish the underlying emotional and psychological tension. The Ramones' "Blitzkrieg Bop" serves as an anthem of relentless momentum:
"Hey ho let's go— They're forming in a straight line They're going through a tight wind The kids are losing their minds The Blitzkrieg Bop"
Styx's "Mr. Roboto" reflects internal suppression, artificial conformity, and the yearning for liberation:
"I've got a secret I've been hiding under my skin… My heart is human, my blood is boiling, my brain I.B.M. Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto, domo…domo Thank you very much, Mr. Roboto For doing the jobs that nobody wants to And thank you very much, Mr. Roboto For helping me escape just when I needed to Thank you—thank you, thank you"
The Domestic Life and Psychological State of Paul Wilson
The narrative commences on the cold evening of Friday, February 11th, in the metropolitan area outside Washington, DC. As darkness settles over Interstate 95 and Route 1, the dense rush-hour commuter congestion subsides, and the clock bell in the tower of the National Masonic Temple in downtown Alexandria chimes seven. Commuters disperse into Alexandria's middle-class residential tracts, upscale dining clubs, and local bars, many still displaying government identification badges. Thirty-four-year-old Paul Wilson reflects cynically on the surrounding bureaucratic society, evaluating his own growing negative outlook over recent months.
Paul works as a technical editor for an Alexandria-based contractor that develops technical manuals for government agencies—a classification of firms colloquially termed "Beltway Bandits." He resides with his wife, Jenny, in a home on Arlington Drive just outside Alexandria, Virginia. Jenny works part-time as a pharmacist's assistant at Fairfax Community Hospital. Their marriage originated ten years prior through a correspondence service called Pen Friends, culminating in a whirlwind courtship and engagement within three months of meeting. Early in their courtship, Paul broke down in tears and confessed to Jenny his deep-seated conviction that he was internally a woman. While accepting the revelation and agreeing to marry him, Jenny stipulated her preference for a husband rather than a wife, though she occasionally engaged in sensual, role-playing games involving Paul's female persona, whom she referred to as her "secret lover."
Over time, tensions developed around Paul's feminine expression. While Jenny managed to tolerate what she termed Paul's "hobby," she grew weary of the domestic unpredictability, feeling second place and fearing eventual abandonment. Concurrently, Paul discovered that occasional crossdressing was no longer adequate to alleviate his acute gender dysphoria and psychological dissociation. He increasingly felt like an unfeeling automaton—a "Mr. Roboto"—functioning mechanically through daily life.
On the evening of February 11th, an exhausted discussion over routine and intimacy ensues in their bedroom. Acknowledging that Valentine's Day falls on the coming Monday, they agree to celebrate on Saturday evening with dinner at Outback Steakhouse. Seeking space to unwind independently, Jenny leaves the house at 7:00 PM to attend a screening of the thriller film Eye of the Beholder (starring Ewan McGregor) at the Cineplex near Wal-Mart. Dressed in a long-sleeve white pullover, a short skirt, flat-heeled black pumps, and a brown leather coat, Jenny leaves a Bic lighter and a single Virginia Slims cigarette on the dresser for Paul before departing.
The Ritual Transformation into Leslie
Following Jenny's departure, Paul ensures that the front door is locked and the window blinds are drawn to preserve total privacy. He retrieves an aged, brown suitcase fitted with worn gold-plated clasps from the back of the bedroom closet. This case contains Paul's female apparel and grooming accessories: a long dark curly wig, a medium-length wavy brown wig, a compact makeup kit, an assortment of short skirts, tops, a lime-green sweater, dark gray slacks, high-heel pumps and flat shoes in basic black, an uncomfortably snug panty-girdle, a Playtex 18 Hour bra in size 38C, and ten pairs of Hanes nylon bikini panties in various colors.
Stripping off his male attire, Paul begins dressing by donning a pair of pink lace-trimmed Hanes nylon bikini panties, carefully tucking his male genitalia backward into his crotch to create a smooth frontal contour. He fastens the 38C Playtex bra around his torso with the hooks in front, spins the cups around to the chest, and inserts his arms through the straps, aware of the empty cups and reminiscing about a brief, one-month trial of black-market hormones acquired from an acquaintance years earlier. Moving to the dressing table, which features an ottoman used since a past pillow fight broke the original wooden chair, Paul lays out his cosmetics.
Paul selects Maybelline Wear 'N Go lipstick (No. 10, Sandy Rose shade), Revlon six-shade eye shadow ranging from light beige to purple smoke, an eyeliner pencil, Coty Finishing Powder in Translucent Extra Coverage, Dermablend Chroma 2 concealer, Almay Sports Formula foundation (Light), and L'Oreal of Paris Jet Set quick-dry nail polish in Snappy Perle (a dark red with purple undertones). Opting for partial makeup, Paul lines the lower and upper lids, correcting smudges with moistened cotton swabs, and applies lipstick. Paul adopted the name "Leslie" at age twelve because it was gender-neutral and shared by a film actress he admired.
Smoking Jenny's Virginia Slims cigarette—an indulgence Leslie partakes in exclusively when en femme—she dons an unopened pair of nude beige sandal-foot L'eggs pantyhose (accidentally snagging the heel with a toenail), a black A-line skirt, a light-purple long-sleeve top, and black high-heel pumps. Pouring a glass of Gallo Beaujolais wine, Leslie sits on the living room couch to watch the Home Shopping Network hawking jewelry until Jenny returns at 10:30 PM. Jenny recounts the convoluted plot of Eye of the Beholder, admitting her guilt over going alone. The two share an affectionate conversation on the couch, reaffirming their mutual devotion, which leads to passionate physical intimacy in their bedroom.
Conjugal Dialogue and the Excursion to The Follies
On Saturday morning, February 12th, Paul and Jenny awaken and openly discuss the status of their relationship. Jenny acknowledges her jealousy and anxiety, expressing concern that Paul's escalating feminine needs might lead him to seek relationships with men or abandon the marriage entirely. Paul reassures her of his commitment, noting that their mutual female intimacy reflects deep love rather than an intention to leave. To foster mutual transparency, Paul invites Jenny to assist in curating her feminine wardrobe and suggests attending an alternative nightclub together.
At 11:00 AM, the couple departs in their silver 1998 Honda Civic, traveling north on Route 1 toward Land Mall in Alexandria. In the second-floor food court, they lunch at Chicken Fillet while continuing their conversation about gender and marital stability. Following lunch, they shop at Lane Bryant, where Jenny selects a pastel-pink, long-sleeved top with a plunging neckline and a black knife-pleat skirt hemmed just above the knee for Paul. At an adjacent CVS pharmacy, they purchase two pairs of beige pantyhose, two lipsticks, powdered blush, and L'Oreal QuickStick foundation in True Beige.
At 4:15 PM, they arrive for an early dinner at Outback Steakhouse to bypass long holiday queues. During dinner, Jenny consents to visit a local crossdressing and transgender venue. Returning home by 6:30 PM, Jenny actively supervises and assists in Leslie's cosmetic application. Applying Dermablend opaque cover cream over Paul's beard area, Jenny utilizes paper towels to blot excess powder, blends the L'Oreal True Beige foundation across his face, applies pressed blush along the cheekbones using a sable brush, applies winged eyeliner, pads the 38C bra with tissues, and fits the long, curly wig over Leslie's head.
By 9:00 PM, they travel north along Route 1, merge onto Interstate 395 North, and navigate onto South Capitol Street before arriving at The Follies, a nightclub situated on Half Street in Washington, DC. Paying a entry fee, they observe a diverse clientele of crossdressers, transsexuals, and their partners. Jenny finds the environment unexpectedly approachable and friendly. Following an 11:00 PM drag performance, they socialize until 1:00 AM, returning to Alexandria where their evening concludes with passionate physical intimacy.
Workplace Realities and Medical Consultation
On Monday, February 14th (Valentine's Day), the bedroom clock radio sounds at 5:00 AM to Styx's "Mr. Roboto." After waking, Paul uses a bathroom towel to remove facial makeup residue and bodily fluids, concealing the stained towel under the bed to prevent Jenny from seeing the ruined fabric. Arriving at EDTech's private parking facility, Paul encounters his supervisor, Mr. Nessman, in the lobby. Mr. Nessman instructs Paul to coordinate with colleague Jess Jamison on project preliminaries for the Voice of America (VOA) manual contract, due by the end of the week.
Jamison enters Paul's office to discuss the VOA drafts and immediately notices dark lines beneath Paul's lower lashes, asking if he is wearing eyeliner. Flustered, Paul claims sleep deprivation, retreats to the men's restroom, and scrubs away the remaining pigment with wet paper towels, spending the rest of the day in anxious isolation at his desk.
When Jenny arrives home at 7:45 PM from her shift at Fairfax Community Hospital, she reveals she consulted Mrs. Robeson, the hospital's head nurse whose brother had undergone male-to-female gender transition. Based on Mrs. Robeson's recommendation, Jenny scheduled a clinical appointment for Paul with Dr. Croft, a gender specialist practicing in downtown Washington, DC, on Connecticut Avenue for Friday, February 18th.
Paul attends the consultation with Dr. Croft on the third floor of his Connecticut Avenue clinic. Dr. Croft, a middle-aged practitioner with square glasses and a gray beard reminiscent of Sigmund Freud, utilizes a direct therapeutic approach. Paul recounts wearing his mother's garments at age eight, experiencing continuous internal dissonance, suppressing his female identity, and harboring intermittent sexual fantasies regarding men while maintaining fidelity to Jenny. Recognizing Paul's lifelong struggle, Dr. Croft issues a clinical assignment: Paul must attend the next therapy session dressed entirely en femme as Leslie.
The Decision to Transition and Coming Out at EDTech
The following Friday, Paul takes leave from work and dresses in a lime-green sweater, a pleated skirt, beige pantyhose, mid-heel pumps, and a styled wig. Driving to Connecticut Avenue, Leslie enters the clinic. Dr. Croft notes her calm, feminine demeanor. Leslie reports feeling entirely natural and liberated. Dr. Croft observes that Leslie has reached an unavoidable life crossroad, explaining that individuals encounter defining moments where decisions must be executed regardless of foreseeable consequences. He advises her to resolve internal ambivalence, prioritize her personal peace, and engage Jenny in transparent dialogue.
Over dinner at Shari's restaurant that evening, Leslie informs Jenny of her intention to transition permanently. Jenny provides her full blessing, prioritizing Leslie's happiness and reaffirming their marital commitment. Galvanized by her support, Paul resolves to transition in the workplace.
On Monday morning, Paul meets privately with Mr. Nessman, disclosing his gender dysphoria and intention to transition. Mr. Nessman reacts supportively, revealing that a Department of Defense official he interacts with professionally is a transsexual woman who went through transition. Nessman guarantees a zero-tolerance policy regarding workplace harassment, provided Paul maintains his technical editorial output, and advises circulating a disclosure letter.
Remaining after hours, Paul drafts a company-wide memorandum using Microsoft Word 2000, placing printed copies on every colleague's desk:
"Dear Friend:
This is a very difficult letter for me to write, but I feel you need to know what is happening in my life. Please take the time to read what I have to say with an open mind and a compassionate heart.
Ever since I was very little I've struggled with an issue of gender identity. I've come to learn over the years that this sort of problem, while rare, is biologically based. Just like some people are born with an extra toe or a third nipple, I was born with a female brain even though I have a male body. After many years of trying, I've come to the conclusion that I can no longer continue living this conundrum. I'm not the first to go through this, nor will I be the last. I may be the only person you know personally who goes through this however, and I hope you'll understand that it is very difficult for me to follow this path and I would very much appreciate your support. If I cannot have your support then perhaps you could at least suspend judgment of me. I am doing what I can, going through therapy with a professional who handles this sort of thing, and my spouse is supporting me. Thank you for being understanding.
Sincerely, Paul Wilson
PS: At some point you will probably see me dressed as a woman. I know this will be hard for you to handle, but please at least try to be polite. Oh yes, and I'd like to be called 'Leslie.'"
The following morning, Jess Jamison enters Paul's office to express support, admitting staff members had previously noticed residual cosmetics and assumed Paul was gay. Senior editor Jerry Billings and other office personnel react favorably, while Mr. Nessman conveys the staff's collective solidarity.
Social and Medical Transition
At her third psychiatric appointment with Dr. Croft, Leslie appears in a purple blouse, gray skirt, and pumps. Dr. Croft cautions that transitions typically involve a three-month evaluative period, but acknowledges Leslie's rapid adaptation and internal certainty. He discusses the social behaviors of transitioning individuals, dividing them into two groups: those who demand rigid, defensive acceptance and alienate peers, versus those who approach social integration without hostility, accepting occasional curiosity or humor. Commending Leslie's measured attitude, Dr. Croft provides clinical referrals for electrology, laser hair removal, and endocrinology.
Over the weekend, Jenny and Leslie shop for a professional corporate wardrobe. On Monday morning, Paul places a second letter on the office desks:
"Dear Friends:
I want to thank you for being so supportive. Mr. Nessman has told me that you are behind me all the way and I really appreciate that. Some of the things that I'm going through now are difficult, and I have many stages ahead. I don't know what they'll all bring, but I know that I have to press on toward where I need to be. Toward that end – with Mr. Nessman's approval – I will be beginning transition this week. That means you're going to see me differently than you've ever seen me before. It will be an adjustment for all of us. I just hope that you'll bear with me as I go through these changes, and if you have any questions I hope you'll feel free to ask.
Once I transition (and you'll know when that is), I hope you'll address me by my female name, Which is Leslie Anne Wilson. You're not required to do this, but I would really appreciate it. Thank you for being so understanding.
Sincerely, Paul/Leslie Wilson"
On Tuesday morning, Leslie debuts her female identity at EDTech, attired in black knife-pleat slacks, a black scoop-neck top, a gray women's blazer, Jenny's dangling gold earrings with a matching necklace, styled hair, and full makeup. Receptionist Sheila welcomes her enthusiastically, pledging personal support against any office disrespect, while Jamison and Billings offer positive comments.
Clinical Regimen and Physical Transformation
Leslie secures an appointment with Dr. Moore, a young endocrinologist practicing in Camp Springs, Maryland. After obtaining baseline vitals and reviewing Dr. Croft's referral, Dr. Moore prescribes an initial hormone regimen: Premarin (conjugated estrogens) at an escalating daily dosage beginning at per day and increasing to per day after two weeks, coupled with spironolactone, an anti-androgenic diuretic. A one-month follow-up confirms target female estrogen levels, enabling Dr. Moore to provide a six-month prescription refill.
Over the spring, Leslie undergoes physical feminization, developing budding, sensitive breasts and broader fat distribution while retaining sexual function with Jenny. In June, following Memorial Day, Dr. Croft commends Leslie's progress and supplies a plastic surgery referral. Under a plastic surgeon's care, Leslie completes four monthly laser hair removal treatments to eliminate her facial hair follicles.
On the final Thursday of October, Jenny escorts Leslie to the hospital for breast augmentation surgery. Returning home the following day, Leslie stands alone before her bedroom mirror, dropping her bath towel to inspect her augmented breasts, softened facial contours, and widened hips, recognizing the disappearance of her former male physique.
Maturing Womanhood and Future Horizons
On the Monday following her surgical recovery, Leslie returns to EDTech wearing a short dark-gray skirt, a matching blazer, and a low-cut black silk-like top. Jess Jamison greets her flirtatiously, complimenting her enhanced chest and asking whether she experiences sexual attraction toward men. Leslie acknowledges occasional fantasies, causing Jamison to blush before returning to his office, leaving Leslie reflecting on the shift in their social dynamic.
That evening, Jenny reveals she disclosed Leslie's transition to her mother in California. Her mother responded with open-minded support and requested a personal visit. Recognizing the need to address family relations before pursuing final genital reconstruction surgery, Leslie schedules two weeks of leave with Mr. Nessman to travel west with Jenny. Leslie also prepares to confront her own mother via an explanatory letter, noting that her father had abandoned the household decades earlier.
That night, Leslie experiences an intensely erotic dream involving intimate physical contact with Jamison, awakening abruptly in a sweat to confide the dream to Jenny, who calmly acknowledges Leslie's emerging heterosexual interests.
While packing her luggage for the trip to California, Leslie sorts through her dresser and uncovers a ten-year-old photograph framed in gold-colored metal. The picture portrays Paul in a forced, masculine posture beside a tree. Reflecting on thirty years of internal isolation and psychological endurance, Leslie whispers, "Thank you very much, Mr. Roboto, for being there just when I needed you." Placing the photograph into her purse, she steps forward in high heels toward her new life.