Notes on Theories of Grief and Loss (PSW059)
Loss and Grief: foundational ideas
- Loss: the fact or process of losing something or someone.
- Grief: deep sorrow, especially that caused by someone’s death.
- Loss and grief are universal; the loss of a loved one is a common, painful experience that can disrupt daily routines or normal life.
- This material reviews several models/theories that explain how people experience loss and grief.
- The resource references seven models, though the content provided covers five major frameworks: Freud, Kubler-Ross, Bowlby, Rando, and Le Poidevin. Practical care implications in palliative settings are emphasized (patient-centered care, documentation, tailoring support to the grieving stage).
Freud’s model of bereavement
- Core idea: attachment is central to grief. Grieving involves attachment needs following a loss.
- Mourning (Freud): the process of detaching from the lost loved one; the loss is experienced as a disruption to the inner world and identity.
- Melancholia: when mourning goes wrong, leading to a profound depression characterized by a loss of pleasure in most or all activities.
- Process of mourning: a task to rebuild one’s inner world by intensely experiencing the pain of loss, which reawakens loving affect for the lost person.
- Identity note: death of a loved one can cause a loss of identity and a need to redefine the self in light of the loss.
- Grieving as reallocation: grieving is letting go of multiple attachments involved in the relationship; acceptance allows the ego to accommodate the loss and search for new attachments.
Kubler-Ross Grief Cycle (five-stage model)
- Purpose: provides a useful perspective on emotional reactions to trauma and change; originally developed for those dying of terminal illness and now applied to grief in general.
- Important caveat: grief is not strictly linear; stages are fluid and people do not pass through them in a fixed order.
- The five stages: extDenial,extAnger,extBargaining,extDepression,extAcceptance
- Denial (stage 1): a conscious or unconscious refusal to accept facts or reality; a natural defense mechanism that helps cope and pace grief.
- Denial examples (typical statements):
- "I’m not sick"; "they’re really not that sick"; "They haven’t died, they’re in their room still"; "Dying doesn’t mean I won’t see them again tomorrow". [Page references: Denial details]
- Role of denial: provides a grace period for processing reality; as reality starts to surface, healing begins.
- Anger (stage 2): can be directed at self, others, or the deceased; anger is a natural, necessary stage of healing.
- Anger manifestations: may be directed toward self, others, or a higher power; it can complicate caregiving due to intense emotions.
- Guidance during anger: remain detached and nonjudgmental while supporting someone in grief.
- Anger examples: "Why me, it’s not fair"; "How can this happen to me??"; "Who’s to blame for this"; "Why would God let this happen to me/him/her".
- Bargaining (stage 3): often involves bargaining with a higher power; may offer temporary relief but is rarely a sustainable solution, especially when life/death is involved.
- Depression (stage 4): marks the recognition of mortality; sadness, regret, fear, and uncertainty predominate; objects or activities lose meaning to the griever.
- Depression more detail: individuals may become quiet, withdraw from visitors, and cry; described as a dress rehearsal for the aftermath, representing an emotional acceptance.
- Depression quotes/feelings: "I’m so sad, why bother with anything?"; "I miss my loved one, why go on?".
- Acceptance (stage 5): emotional detachment and objectivity; the bereaved begin to move on with life; not necessarily being “okay” with the loss, but learning to live with the reality that the loved one is gone.
- Acceptance notes: varies by situation; the dying person may enter this stage before others, and vice versa; often accompanied by a calm, retrospective view and a stable mindset.
- Practical implications: these stages guide caregiving approaches and documentation; awareness of stage variability helps tailor support.
Bowlby’s Attachment Theory
- Core claim: attachments form early in life to provide security and survival; when these attachments are broken or lost, distress results (anxiety, crying, anger).
- Mourning manifests as the emotional response to attachment disruption.
- Four general phases of mourning:
- 1) Numbing
- 2) Yearning and searching
- 3) Disorganization
- 4) Reorganization
Numbing
- Characteristics: disbelief that the death occurred; temporary relief from pain.
- Duration: usually brief, often followed by emotional outbursts.
Yearning and Searching
- Realization of loss as numbness fades; intense longing.
- Common reactions: anger and frustration as the bereaved searches for someone to place blame.
Disorganization
- Reality of the loss is accepted while turmoil persists.
- Self-evaluation without the deceased becomes prominent.
Reorganization
- Emerges as the bereaved recognizes a new life after the death.
- Gradual changes; the individual begins to move on with life.
Rando’s six “R” Model (mourning after significant loss)
- Six-phase process aimed at recognizing and adapting to the loss of a significant other.
- The six stages:
- 1) Recognize: acknowledge the loss and its occurrence.
- 2) React: experience and express a full range of painful emotions.
- 3) Recollect: recall and re-experience the relationship through memory.
- 4) Relinquish: begin to put the loss behind, accepting that the world has changed.
- 5) Readjust: return to daily life; the loss feels less acute.
- 6) Reinvent: form new relationships and commitments; accept and move on.
Le Poidevin’s Multidimensional Model
- Grief as a process of simultaneous change across seven dimensions: emotional, social, physical, lifestyle, practical, spiritual, and identity.
- Purpose: to help both the bereaved and supporters identify affected areas and locate available resources.
- Seven dimensions (brief overview):
- Emotional: intensity of emotions; comfort in expressing emotions; balance of emotional control.
- Social: changes in social network, status, and role; quality of support.
- Physical: physical health and symptoms related to grief.
- Lifestyle: changes in daily routines and lifestyle patterns.
- Practical: ability to cope with everyday tasks and practicalities.
- Spiritual: effects on beliefs, meaning, and purpose.
- Identity: impact on self-concept, self-esteem, and self-worth.
Why these models matter in practice
- Rationale for using these models: to gauge level of coping/bereavement and tailor care accordingly.
- Examples of application:
- If someone is in Denial (Kubler-Ross), care should respect pacing and reality-testing.
- If someone is in Acceptance, support may shift toward helping them live with the loss rather than fixating on the loss.
- Documentation and patient-centered care: understanding stage/phase helps document progress and customize support.
- Real-world relevance: informs palliative care practices, provides structured frameworks for supporting families and patients through grief.
- Ethical, philosophical, and practical implications:
- Recognizing that grief is not linear; avoids imposing a “one-size-fits-all” timeline.
- Respecting individual variations in mourning expressions and timelines.
- Ensuring compassionate, nonjudgmental support during difficult stages such as anger and bargaining.
Summary of key concepts and connections
- Loss and grief are universal experiences with complex psychological dynamics.
- Multiple theoretical models offer different lenses on how people experience and process grief.
- In practice, care teams should assess which stage or dimension best describes a person’s current experience and tailor interventions to support adaptive coping and meaningful engagement with life.
- The overarching goal is to support the bereaved in gradually restoring function, identity, and meaning while acknowledging the permanence of the loss.
Notation and references (LaTeX-ready highlights)
- Stages and dimensions referenced with counts:
- Kubler-Ross stages: 5 stages.
- Bowlby phases: 4 phases.
- Rando’s phases: 6 phases.
- Le Poidevin dimensions: 7 dimensions.
- When documenting progress, consider noting the current stage/phase and the language used by the patient (e.g., denial, anger, bargaining, etc.).
- Loss/Grief definitions and overview: Page 2-3.
- Freud: Pages 4-6.
- Kubler-Ross: Pages 7-23 (overview, denial to acceptance).
- Bowlby: Pages 24-29.
- Rando: Pages 30-32.
- Le Poidevin: Pages 33-36.
- Practical implications and rationale: Page 37.
Additional practical notes for exam preparation
- Remember that grief theories are tools to guide care, not strict rules enforcing a fixed sequence of emotions.
- In clinical notes, identify the observed stage or dimension, the patient’s goals, and the plan to support adaptive coping.
- Be prepared to discuss ethical implications such as respecting patient autonomy, honoring cultural differences in grieving, and balancing hopeful support with realistic acceptance.