Attraction and Relationships Notes

Propinquity

• We are more likely to become friends with people we interact with frequently.

  • Frequent interaction increases familiarity and opportunities for connection.

• You can not become friends with people you don't meet.

  • Initial contact is necessary to establish any relationship.

• 1/3 of couples within 5 blocks.

  • Geographic proximity significantly increases the likelihood of forming relationships.

• 1/2 couples within 20 blocks.

  • A wider, yet still relatively close, distance continues to show a strong correlation.

• College roommates are more likely to become close friends than non-roommates, even when students were randomly assigned rooms.

  • Shared living spaces promote frequent interaction and bonding.

• People living on the 1st floor near the stairwell reported more 2nd-floor friends than 1st-floor friends because their 2nd-floor friends walked by their door every day.

  • Increased visibility and spontaneous encounters enhance friendship formation.

Why does proximity matter so much?

• Easy to get to know people nearby.

  • Convenience facilitates more interactions.

• We are motivated to like people we will see often.

  • Anticipating future interactions encourages positive feelings.

• Mere anticipation: You anticipate interacting with this person a lot.

  • The expectation of future contact can drive liking.

  • Women were told they were going to discuss dating etiquette with a partner and were given information about a partner and a non-partner, then rated liking for them.

  • Motivated process: People want to have a pleasant interaction, and if they anticipate interacting with a person more, they want to have a better time with them.

  • Expectation of pleasant interactions boosts attraction.

• Mere exposure: The more we are exposed to someone, the more we want to like them.

  • Repeated exposure increases familiarity and comfort.

  • Four similar-looking women (confederates) attended a class either 0, 5, 10, or 15 times with no other interaction with other students.

  • At the end of the semester, students rated the confederates on several dimensions.

  • More exposure means the person is more attractive, regardless of whether the name of a person is familiar or not.

  • Increased visibility enhances appeal, regardless of interaction quality.

Similarity

• The similarity-attraction effect is one of the most robust effects in social psychology: We like people who are similar to us.

  • Shared traits and interests foster attraction.

• Also called homophily or assortative mating.

  • Similarity in relationships is a well-documented phenomenon.

• Clustering of people who are similar to each other.

  • People tend to group with those who share common characteristics.

• More commonly used to describe not only relationships but also neighbors.

  • Extends beyond personal relationships to broader social circles.

• Descriptively partners tend to be similar to one another on a broad range of variables:

  • Age

  • Partners often share similar life stages.

  • Ethnicity

  • Common cultural backgrounds promote understanding.

  • Religion

  • Shared beliefs create stronger bonds.

  • SES (Socioeconomic Status)

  • Similar economic backgrounds reduce potential conflicts.

  • Height

  • Physical traits often show matching patterns.

  • Weight

  • Physical traits often show matching patterns.

  • Eye color

  • Physical traits often show matching patterns.

  • Lung volume

  • Biological similarities can be observed.

  • Nose breadth

  • Biological similarities can be observed.

  • Earlobe length

  • Biological similarities can be observed.

  • Opinions

  • Shared viewpoints enhance compatibility.

  • Worldviews

  • Aligned perspectives foster deeper connections.

  • Extraversion

  • Personality traits often align between partners.

  • Agreeableness

  • Compatible personalities lead to smoother interactions.

  • Trust

  • Mutual trust is a cornerstone of strong relationships.

Possible explanations for assortative mating:

• Maximization strategies: Everyone tries to get the best mate possible; because of competition, this means people end up being 'matched' in terms of their mate value.

  • Individuals seek the best possible partner, leading to value-based matching.

• Egocentrism: We like ourselves, so we like people who are similar to us. In this case, we find similarly attractive people attractive.

  • Self-preference extends to preferring similar others.

• Compatibility: For many traits, similarity with partners may smooth interactions.

  • Shared traits reduce friction and enhance harmony.

• Social influence: Maybe we change to become more similar to them over time and converge on one another's interests/tastes.

  • Partners may gradually adopt similar traits.

• Structural constraints: We tend to have social contact mostly with people who are similar to us, so if we are picking our partners from that set, we will tend to be similar to our partners.

  • Limited social circles lead to partner selection from similar groups.

What kind of traits match best with each hypothesis?

• Maximization strategies: Traits for which there is a consensus on desirability, such as physical attractiveness.

  • Universally desired qualities drive mate selection.

• Egocentrism: Visible traits, things that are more self-defining. We are more motivated to do that to traits that are more like ourselves.

  • Self-defining qualities are prioritized in partners.

• Compatibility: Traits associated with conflict, such as worldviews.

  • Shared worldviews minimize potential disputes.

  • The only time we see opposites attract is in social dominance. People tend to form relationships with people who are opposites in terms of inter-dominant things.

  • Complementary dominance styles can stabilize relationships.

• Social influence: Traits that can be changed over time.

  • Adaptable traits allow for convergence over time.

  • Some thinking that facial similarity is increased over time through mimicry of facial expressions.

  • Mimicry enhances facial similarity over time.

• Structural constraints: Demographic constraints.

  • Social structures limit partner choices to similar groups.

Physical Attractiveness

• One of the first big findings in close relationships:

  • Initial studies highlighted the impact of appearance.

  • Randomly matched 752 first-year students as blind dates to a dance.

  • Measured:

  • Intelligence

    • Cognitive abilities were assessed.

  • Physical attractiveness

    • Appearance was rated.

  • Personality traits

    • Character attributes were evaluated.

  • Values and attributes

    • Personal beliefs were considered.

  • Only predictor of desire for a second date was physical attractiveness, true for both men and women.

  • But women were more likely to deny that attractiveness influenced their decisions.

  • Societal pressures may affect admission of attractiveness influence.

Universals of physical attractiveness:

• Some aspects of physical attractiveness have been found to be universal:

  • Certain traits are consistently viewed as appealing across cultures.

  • Clear complexion

  • Healthy skin is universally attractive.

  • Bilateral symmetry

  • Symmetrical features are generally perceived as beautiful.

  • Average features (evens out skin, creates more symmetry, etc.).

  • Averageness can be more appealing.

  • When averaging Japanese faces with Australian faces together, these Eurasian faces were seen as more attractive than their components.

  • Mixed-race faces can enhance attractiveness.

Cultural Variable

• Weight

  • Body size preferences vary across cultures.

• Scarcity of resources predicts thin vs. heavy bodies. When food is plentiful and consistently available, thin bodies are considered more attractive.

  • Resource availability shapes body size ideals.

• Self-adornment: All cultures engage in self-adornment to increase attractiveness to others, but the kind of adornment changes across cultures.

  • Cultural practices influence beauty enhancements.

Reciprocity

• We are attracted to people who like us, especially if they uniquely like us.

  • Feeling uniquely liked boosts attraction.

• This has emerged in speed dating paradigms.

  • Speed dating studies support the influence of reciprocity.