comm unit 3 - Family Communication

What makes a family?

  • Genetic Ties- families are bound together by blood

  • Legal Obligation- families involve legal bonds

  • Role Behaviors- without legal or biologival ties, people can take on the roles of family

Types of families

  • Involuntary family: family we do not get to choose

    -ex. parents, siblings, cousins, aunts

  • voluntary family members: people we choose to consider family

    -ex. friends who are like siblings, roommates, etc

  • family of procreation: the family one starts as an adults, often consisting of one’s spouse and children

  • family of origin: the family one grows up in, often consisting of parents and siblings

Launching stage:

  • the period when children begin the seperation process from their family

  • this term is often misleading because many families continue to experience a sense of interdependence in their lives after the child reaches legal age

Characteristics of Families:

Roles

  • function individuals fulfill within the family

Rituals

  • repetitive behaviors have special meaning for a groups

Stories:

  • told and retold often portray the family positively

  • make up our family history and identity

Secrets

  • families keep secrets from others and each other

Communication climate:

  • the emotional tone of a relationship

Confirming messages : behaviors that indicate how much we value another person

  • Recognition: the basic recognition another person exists and is worthy of attention

  • Acknowledgment: a more positive form of confirmation is to ackknowlege another person’s feelings

  • Endorsement: the most positive form of confirmation that signals that you agree with what another persons has said

Disconfirming Messages: behaviors that imply a lack of regard for another person

  • impervious response: to not acknowledge another which deems them unimportant

  • verbal abuse: an overt form of disconfirming message. Involves using words to hurt people

  • Generalized Complaining: specific complaints can be helpful, but generalized complaints undermine the other persons value

  • Irrelevant Response: replying to someones message with a completely unrelated statement

  • Impersonal Response: when you dont show real empathy and emotion or respond with a cliche

Messages that promote defensiveness

  • Evaluation vs. Description:

    -evaluate message express an opinion on the value or worth of another person’s behavior

    -descriptive messages provide detail without passing judgement

  • Control vs. problem orientation

    -control messages manipulate others to gain the upper hand

  • Strategy vs. Spontaneity:

    -strategic messages withhold information to control the listener

    -spontaneous message express thoughtss and desires openly and honeslty

  • Neutrality vs. empathy

    • neutral statements convey

    • emathy messages…

  • Superiority vs. Equality:

    • superiority message encourage division and “us vs. them”

    • equility messages emphasize inclusion and minimize difference

  • Certaintly vs. provisional:

    • certaintly messages offer inflexible conslusion with no room for debate

    • provisional messages offer flexibility and create dialouge

Provideing effective feedback

  • non-evaluative Feedback: a reply that witholds assesment of what the speaker has said or done

    • probe

    • paraphase

    • offer support

  • Evaluative feedback: a reply that offers an assessment of what the speaker has said or done

Relational Types & Romantic Couples

  • Traditional Couples

    • take a culturally connection approach to marriage and believe in gender typical roles

  • Separate Couples

    • Like traditional marriages, but pouses are autonomous rather than interdependent

    • have own social networks

  • Independent Couples

    • see themselves as being interdependent of social expectations for marriage

    • may not follow traditional gender norms

Family systems Theory:

  • wholeness: a family creates its own personality or culture unique from that of each family member

  • interdependence : the family system is comprised of interrelated members

Family communication patterns theory:

  • conformity: the degree to which a family encourages autonomy in individual beliefs, values, and attitudes

  • Conversation: The level of openness and the frequency with which a variety of topics are discussed

Symbolic Interaction Theory

  • “ I am who I am, because of who I think you think I am.”

  • we form interpretations of the messages and behaviots in out lives based on past experiences or influences

Assumtions of the theory:

  1. Individuals create a sense of self which serves as a guide for selecting future behaviors

  2. behavior of family members is influenced by culture and society

Family and Stress

  • What casued the stressor?

    • Internal vs. external, normative vs. non-normative, voluntary vs. involuntary & chronic vs. acute

  • Avaliable resources to manage stress

    • seeking out help from family members , talking as a groups, family therapy, etc.

  • Assigned meaning

    • how would you define the stressor

  • Perception of stress

    • crisis or manageable

    • this often depends on family framing of the stress

Interpersonal Communication

Common Responses

  • any communication with 2+ people

    • is ALL communication between groups interpersonal

  • Communication that happens face-to-face

    • interpersonal communication can NOT happen online/ via text

Models of Interpersonal Communication

  • Linear Model:

    • 1st model of interpersoanl communication

    • one person acts on another

    • one way

  • Interactive Models

    • where listeners give feedback

    • recognizes people create and interpret messages within personal fields of experience

    • Transaction Models

      • emphasizes dynamism of interpersonal communication and multiple roles people assume during the process

    • time emphasizes that messages, noise, and fields of experience vary over time

    • Recognizes noise is present throughout interpersonal communication

Impersonal and interpersonal

  • not all communication is interpersonal communication

  • there are lots of situations and reasons why we communicate in an impersonal way

    • impersonal: taxi driver, doctor, neighbors

  • interpersonal: longtime lovers, family members

Martin Buber

  • I -It

    • we treat others very impersonally, almost as objects

    • we do not acknowledge the humanity of other people

  • I-You

    • most of our interactions happen here

    • people acknowledge one another as more than objects, but they don’t fully engage each other as unique individuals

  • I- Thou

    • rarest kind of relationship

    • highest form of human dialogue, because each person affirms the other

    • we meet others in their wholeness and individuality

    • instead of occupants of social roles, we see them as unique human being

  • Definition of Interpersonal communication

    • is selective, systemic, unique, processual transactional that allow people to reflect and build personal knowledge of one another and create shared meanings

Aspects of interpersonal communication

  • Selective

    • we don’t want ot communicate intimately with themajorty of people we encounter

  • Systemic

    • takes place within various systems. Communication occurs in contexts that influence events and the meaning we attribute

  • Unique

    • all the relationships we have are unique in certain ways

  • Processual

    • interpersonal comunication is an ongoing, continous process. Communication evolves over time, becoming more persoanl as people interact

  • Individual

    • the deepest level of communication involves engging others as individuals who are unlike anyone else

  • Personal Knowledge

    • to connects as unique individuals, we must get to know othe

  • Meaning

    • the heart of communication, shared meanings between people

  • Content Meaning

    • deals ith literal, or denotative meaning

  • Relationship Meanings

    • what communication expresses about relationships between

8 principles of interpersonal

  1. We can not communicate

  2. interpersonal communication is irreversible

  3. interpersonal communication involves ethical choices

  4. people construcvt maning in interperosnal communication

  5. meta communication aggects meaning

Initiating Relationships

The nature of relationships

  • intimacy:

    • the significant emotional closeness experienced in a relationship

  • Duration:

    • the length of time we have known the other person

    • ex: my friend from kindergarten

  • Context:

    • setting in which the relationship was initiated

    • offers clues to rules or expectations for communication

    • ex. friends from soccer team so you only talk about soccer stuff

  • Interdependence:

    • a state in which each persons behaviors affect everyone else in the relationship

    • we invest significant resources( time, energy, money) in our most important relationship

Defining interpersonal attraction

  • Interpersonal Attraction:

    • general feeling or desire that impacts our decision to approach and initiate a relationship with someone

  • Physical Attractiveness:

    • the dimension of attractiveness most often used in deciding whether to pursue a relationship

    • culture is an influential factor in our perception of physical attractiveness

  • Social Attractiveness

    • common interests or similar pattens of communication that cause individuals to perceive on another as someone they would like to spend time with

  • Impression Management:

    • process of maintaining a positive self image in front of others

  • Self Monitoring

    • A personality construct that causes a person to respond to social and interpersonal cues for appropriate communication behaviors in a variety of situations

  • Homophily(similarity)

    • research shows we see out relationships with those who have common interest, backgrounds, and goals and who are similar in appreance

  • False Homophily(False Similarity))

    • The presentation of a deceptive image of self that appears to be more similar than it is

  • Social Penetration Theory:

    • how information is exchanged during relationship development

    • Breadth- number of topics

    • Depth- how detailed and personal those conversations become

  • Uncertainty Reduction Theory:

    • Questions are a primary communication strategy used for encouraging reciprocal disclosure and reducing levels of uncertainty

  • Predicted outcome value theory:

    • focuses on perceived rewards or benefits associated with the new relationship

  • Social Exchange Theory:

    • an assessment of costs and rewards in determining the value of pursuing relationship

    • Rewards- behaviors or things that are desirable

    • Costs- undesirable behaviors or outcomes

5 Stages of forming Romantic Relationships

  1. Initiating

    • meet for the 1st time

  2. Experiment

    • attempt to find out who the other person is and define yourself in their eyes

  3. Intensifying

    • marks an increase in commitment

  4. Integrating

    • establishing a deep commitment and the relationship has it’s own identity

  5. Bonding

    • the public announcement of commitment( often engagement or marriage)

Dialectial Tensions

  • opennes-closeness

    • desire to be open and expressive vs. the desire to be closed and private

  • Novelty-Predictability

    • A certain amount of predictibility is necessary for a relationship to develop but it can also lead to boredom

  • Connection-Autonomy

    • we want to feel connected but still be free

    • Too much emphasis on one desire can lead to break up

Sustaining Relationships

4 goals of Relationship Maintenance

  1. Maintain the Existence of the Relationship

    • the goal is to keep the relationship in existence or to keep it from dying

  2. Maintain a Desired State in the Relationship

    • Focus on maintain the desire state of the relationship

  3. Maintaining a Satisfactory State

    • Focus on attempts made by both partners to maintain a level of relationship satisfaction that they find to be mutally agreeable

  4. Repairing a Relationship

    • Individuals engage in relationship maintenance to amek sure that relationships run smoothly

Why we maintain some relationships and not others

  • Control Mutually

    • the extent couples agree on what has the right to influence the other and establish relationship goals

    • ex: finance, planning, vacations

  • Equity theory

    • A relationship is equitable when the ratio of inputs to putputs is equal for both individuals involved

Role of Communication - The Skill similarity model

  • comforting skill

    • the ability to reduce anothers emotianal distress

  • Ego Support

    • the ability to make others feel positive about themselves

  • Empathy

    • the ability to see things from the other persons point of view

  • Face-management skills

    • “face” is self- perception that one wishes to present when interacting with others

  • Self-Disclosure

    • engaging in appropriate disclosure and sharing thoughts and feelings we contribute an element tht is valuable to the future of the relationship

Strategies to maintain relatioships

  • Prosocial Behaviors

    • being polite and cooperative in the relationship, while avoiding face threatening communication

  • Antisocial Behaviors

    • behaviors which might seem unfriendly or coercive

Prosocial Behaviors:

  • positivity

  • openness

  • Assurances

  • Sociall Network

  • Sharing Tasks

Strategies for Maintain Dialectical Tension

  1. Denial: Ignore the tension

  2. Disorientation: Ending the relatioship

  3. Alternation: Bounce back and forth

  4. Segmentation: Segment the tension

  5. Balance: Create compromise

  6. Integration: Try to satisfy both tensions

  7. Recalibration: Reframing a tension

  8. Reaffirmation: Embrace the tension

Couples Handling Conflict

  1. Validating Couple

    • talk about their disagreements openly and cooperatively

  2. Volatile Couples

    • Talk about disagreements but in competitive rather than cooperative way

  3. Conflict- Avoiding Couples

    • Deal with thier disagreements indirectily rather than openly

    • They feel there is little to be gained by engaging in conflict directly

  4. Hostile Couples

    • Experience frequent and intense conflict

    • This leads to escalatory spirals

Terminating Relationships

  1. After relationships

  • secrets

  • netflix password

  • embarrassing moments

  • information about your relationship

  • How did you break up?

  • Biggest Fights

  1. Ending a Friendship

    • Indirect method- When relationships end without a direct resolution

    • Direct Method- specifically telling the friend how you honestly feel

4 Reasons to end a romantic relationship

  1. Infidelity

    • Behavior the crosses perceived boundary and expectation of an exclusive relationships

  2. Lack of Communication

    • A feeling one partner is not invested and committed to the other

  3. Dissimilarity

    • Opposites may attract but they don’t stay together

  4. Outside Presssure

    • Pressure from friend, families, or work can cause breakup

Theorizing Relationships

  • Self- Determination theroy

    • People have a psychological need to feel autonomous

  • Fundamental Attribution Error

    • People tend to attribute others’ behavior to internal ( personality triats), rather than external causes ( traffic )

Four Phases Model of Decision making During Relationship

  1. Intrapsychic Phase

    • Person recognizes something is wrong in relationship and begins to consider costs and rewards of relationship and explore other relationship

  2. Dyadic Phase

    • when the leaver officially announces to partner that they are leaving or thinking about it

  3. Social Phase

    • Relationship termination goes public

  4. Grave Dressing

    • Partners promote a positive image of theri role in their version of the relationship

5 Stages of Ending Relationship

  1. Differentiating

    • Individual differences surface

    • Emphasize differences rather than commonalities

    • Not always negative but can lead to resentment

  2. Circumscribing

    • Information exchange is reduced and some areas are voided

  3. Stagnation

    • No growth in the relationship. Hold things in to avoid conflict

    • Individuals avid conflict. Communication is stylized and cold

  4. Avoiding

    • actively fill schedule to avoid time with partner

  5. Terminating

  • individuals take necessary steps to end the relationship

Strategies used to terminate relationship

  • Positive Tone Messages

    • Try to ease the pain for rejected partner

  • De-escalation Messages

    • Less emotional than positive tone messages

  • Withdrawal or Avoidance

    • actively spending less time with the person

  • Justification tactic

    • States that they need to stop seeing partner

  • Negative Identity Management Tactic

    • Used to hurry disengagement. Little consideration for other

Personal Relationships and Health

Overarching Themes

  • Inadequate or distorted interpersonal relationships can have dramatic negative effects on physical and metal health

  • Poor interpersonal relationships negatively impact people ability to empathize, regulate emotional expression, manage conflict, etc.

  • Violence and suicide are often linked to interpersonal deficits

  • Inadequate interpersonal relationships contribute to cardiovascular disease

  • Interpersonal stress reduces the effectiveness of human immune systems and often leads to infection or stimulates autoimmune disease

  • Poor interpersonal relationships promote risky health practices like smoking, overeating, and substance abuse

Aspects of Health

  1. Social Skills

    • perspective- taking, turn-taking, regulation emotional expression, constructing persuasive messages, managing conflict, etc.

    • Parks argues that social deficits result in mental and physical illness

  2. Violence and Suicide

    • People with inadequate or dysfunctional personal relationships are particularly susceptible to violence

    • Children who do not have reciprocated friendships are more likely to be bullied by their classmates

    • Although not the only cause or contribution factor, studies have linked suicide and inadequate or disordered personal relationships

  3. Cardiovascular Disease

    • poor personal relationships break peoples hearts - literally

    • Type A personalities are at greater risk for a heart attack.They tend to be : conflict-laden, aggressive, unsupportive and unsupportable

  4. Immune system and communication

    • Poor communication can lead to immune suppression

    • Respiratory illnesses are 4x more common during periods of stressful family interaction than during non-stressful periods

    • Chronic stress reduces immunity

    • Poor interpersonal communication can lead to autoimmune diseases

  5. Immune system Malfunctions

    • Anger, depression, and stress lead to faster progression of immune diseases

    • Diseases also limit social participation. this can lead to poor interpersonal communication

  6. Risky Health Practices

    • Poor interpersonal relationships promote or fail to discourage risky and destructive behaviors

    • Having unsupportive relationships makes it harter to stop smoking, reduce blood pressure, manage diabetes, lose weight, seek treatment for illnesses

Risky Health Practices

  • Parents with poor relationships with children or bad communication practices are less likely to supervise and positive messages regarding:

    • accidents

    • drug and alcohol abuse

    • safer sexual practices

The Nature of Conflict

  • Mental health and happiness improve with constructive conflict

  • Resolving conflict reduces a common stressor

  • Our family of orgin socialize us into constructive and deconstructive ways of handling conflict

  • This can carry over to how romantic relationships are handled later in life

Destructive Marital Conflict

  • Negative conflict between parents reduces the family’s network of friends and creates more loneliness

  • Conflict between parents leads to focus on negative behaviors of thier children

  • Ongoing conflict at home as a greater impact on adolescent distress and symptoms than parental divorce

Love Relationships

  • Love relationships test of our ability to manage conlfict

  • The first big fight in a relationship can be a predictorof it’s viability and sustainability

The Workplace

  • Conflict is a stubborn fact of organization life

  • Diverse workplace present a greater chance for impact

  • Communication training should be seen as conflict prevention

  • Unresolved conflict among management can permeate an organization and force people to take sides

Why Study Organization Communication and Conflict

  • Learn to cooperate with

    • fellow employees

    • your manger

    • the public

  • Be perceived as more skilled

  • Help prevent workplace conflict

  • Learn productive responses

  • Gain more

Communication Culture

What is Culture ?

  • Intercultural Communication

    • Sharing information across different cultures and social groups, between and among people from different geographical areas and with differing worldviews

  • Enculturation

    • The process of acquiring the culture of a particular society from infancy

  • Acculturation

    • one youre visiting like studying abroad

Acquiring Culture

  • Culture Shock

    • The negative reaction one may have when comparing the perception of the newly experienced culture to ones own native culture

  • Co-culture

    • groups of people who share values, customs, and norms related to mutual interest or characteristics besides their national citizenship

Communication values that distinguish cultures:

  • power

  • achievement

  • Hedonism

  • Stimulation

  • self-direction

  • universalism

  • benevolence

  • tradition

  • conformity

  • security

Cultural Norms

  • Norms

    • rules or expectations that guide peoples behavior in a culture

Individualist vs. Collectivist Cultures

  • Individualistic Cultures

    • people believe their primary responsibility is to themselves

  • Collectivistic Cultures

    • People believe their primary responsibility is to their families, communities, and employers

Low-Context vs. High-Context cultures

  • Low contest Cultures

    • people are expected to be direct and say what they mean

  • High- Context Cultures

    • People are taught to speak indirect, inexplicit ways

Low-Power Distance vs. High power distance Cultures

  • Low-Power-Distance Cultures

    • people believe no one person or gorup should have excessive power

  • High-Power-Distance Cultures

    • Certain Groups have much greater power than the adverage citizen

Masculine vs. feminine Cultures

  • Feminine Cultures

    • people cherish traditionally feminine qualities and prefer little differentiation in roles of women and men

  • Masculine Cultures

    • characterized by a preference for values such as assertiveness, power, and achievement over values such as compassion and quality of life

Monochromic vs. Polychromic Cultures

  • Monochromic Cultures

    • views time as finite and tangible

  • Polychromic Cultures

    • views time as holistic, fluid, and infine

Uncertainty Avoidance

  • all humans tend to avoid uncertainty but some cultures tolerate it better than others

Communication with Culture Awareness

  • be aware of other cultures and difference

  • be open minded about cultural differences

  • being mindfully aware is being aware of how other cultures behaviors influence the world

Concerns about Cultural Hegemony

  • Cultural Hegemony

    • the attempt by one culture to dominate the thinking or worldviews of all other culture