Practicing Attending Skills

Core Definition and Concept of Attending

  • Conceptual Definition: Attending is the act of focused engagement with another person. It constitutes a conscious effort to make oneself aware of both what the person is explicitly saying and what they are attempting to communicate through underlying messages.

  • Physical Presence: Attending involves being physically present for a client. It is the practice of giving undivided attention to convey interest and openness.

  • Communicative Function: Through the use of specific physical behaviors, a practitioner communicates that they are listening without the necessity of words.

  • Psychological Effect: The primary impact of effective attending is the encouragement of the client. It creates a safe environment where the individual feels free to share their ideas and feelings openly.

The Three V’s and a B Framework

  • Broad Categories: Attending is traditionally categorized into four distinct areas:

    • Visual: This refers to maintaining appropriate eye contact.

    • Vocal Quality: This involves the tone of voice and the rate of speech.

    • Verbal Tracking: This refers to the practitioner's ability to stay on the client's specific topic.

    • Body Language: This encompasses the physical stance and movements of the practitioner.

Levels and Dimensions of Attending

  • Structural Levels: Attending is analyzed through multiple lenses:

    • Verbal communication.

    • Non-verbal communication.

    • Micro skills.

    • Social emotional presence.

Verbal Communication: Verbal Tracking

  • Pacing the Client: Practitioners must stick closely to the client's speech content. This pacing extends to matching or appropriately responding to the client's speech volume and tone.

  • Restating and Summarizing: Verbal tracking involves only restating or summarizing the information provided by the client.

  • Avoidance of Interpretation: The practitioner must strictly avoid interpreting the client's words or layering personal or professional opinions over the client's narrative.

  • Goal of Tracking: The primary objective is to maintain a consistent focus on the client. It requires the provider to be reflective and intentional about which specific points they choose to track.

Non-Verbal Communication and Physicality

  • Vocal Characteristics: Meaning is conveyed through various vocal elements:

    • Tone and pitch.

    • Rate and inflection.

    • Fluency and rhythm.

    • Loudness.

  • Facial Expressions: A listener's responsiveness is signaled through facial movements. Examples include:

    • Smiling.

    • Raising eyebrows.

    • Frowning (when contextually appropriate).

  • Eye Contact:

    • Function: Looking at a person is a primary method of showing interest.

    • Execution: Eye contact should be natural. Staring too intensely can lead to client discomfort.

    • Cultural Sensitivity: There is significant cultural variation regarding acceptable eye contact. Practitioners should not automatically interpret minimal eye contact as a sign of dishonesty or a lack of confidence.

  • Physical Proximity: The recommended distance is approximately 11 arm’s length away from the client.

  • Posture:

    • The provider should lean slightly towards the person.

    • A relaxed manner is essential to shift the focus away from the self, allowing for better listening.

  • Gestures: Body movements communicate significant messages.

    • Caution: Wildly flailing hands or defensive postures (e.g., crossing arms over the chest, hunching shoulders, bending the head downwards) can communicate unintended negative messages.

  • Mirroring: This involves synchronicity between the practitioner and the client. It is the state where movements and verbal behavior are in sync with one another.

  • Environmental Arrangement: The physical space should be organized to draw the practitioner and client together.

    • Avoid Barriers: Furniture, such as large tables or desks, should not be placed between the provider and the client as they create physical and psychological barriers.

Social Emotional Presence

  • Core Elements: Effective attending requires the cultivation of four essential qualities:

    • Acceptance: Being open to the client without judgment.

    • Warmth: Showing genuine care and approachability.

    • Genuineness: Being authentic in the interaction.

    • Empathy: Demonstrating an understanding of the client's perspective and feelings.

Negative Attending Behaviors and Overuse

  • Risks of Over-Attending: Certain positive behaviors can become perceived as negative or artificial if used excessively:

    • Too many head nods.

    • Over-reliance on verbal encouragers like "uh huh," "hmmm," or "yes…yes."

    • Intense eye contact that borders on staring.

    • Repeating the client's last words verbatim too frequently.

    • Over-mirroring the client's actions.

  • Behaviors Perceived as Negative: The following physical cues are generally interpreted by clients as signs of disengagement or hostility:

    • Crossing arms over the chest.

    • Leaning back (away from the client).

    • Turning the body more than 4545 degrees away from the client.

    • Making infrequent or inconsistent eye contact.

    • Crossing legs in a direction pointing away from the client.