By The Bog of Cats

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I’m a ghost fancier.

A ghost fancier. Never heard tell of the like.

Well, where there’s ghosts, there’s ghost fanciers.

That so? So what do you do Mr. Ghost Fancier? Eye up ghosts? Have love affairs with them?

Dependin’ on the ghost. What’er ya doin’ draggin’ the corpse of a swan behind ya like it was your shadow?

This is old Black Wing. I’ve known her the longest time. Found her frozen in a bog hole last night, had to rip her from the ice, left half her underbelly.

No one ever tell ya’ its dangerous to interfere with swans?
Especially the black ones?

I only want to bury her. I can’t be struck down for that, can I? But you, Mr. Ghost Fancier, what ghost are you ghoulin’ for around here?

I’m ghoulin’ for a woman be the name of Hester Swane...

I’m Hester Swane.

You couldn’t be, you’re alive.

I certainly am and aim to stay that way.

Is it sunrise or sunset?

Why do ya’ want to know?

Just tell me.

It’s dawn, see there’s the sun comin’ up.

Then I’m too previous. I mistook this hour for dusk. A thousand
apologies.

What do you mean you’re too previous? Come back! I can’t die – I have a daughter!

What’s wrong with ya’, Hester? What ya’ shoutin’ at?

Don’t ya’ see him?

I don’t see anywan, but ya’ know this auld bog, always shiftin’ and changin’ and coddin’ the eye. What’s that you’ve got there? Oh, Black Wing, what happened to her?

Old age, I’ll wager, found her frozen last night.

Well, she’d good innin’s, way past the life span of swans. Ya look half frozen yourself. Ya’ know you’re welcome in my little shack.

I’m goin’ nowhere. This here’s my stretch of the bog and no
wan’s runnin’ my out of here.

Hester, ya got to pull yourself together. You’re goin’ to have to
stop broodin, put your life back together again.

Wasn’t me that pulled it asunder.

And you’re goin’ to have to lave. Down in Daly’s doin’ my
shopin’ and Caroline Cassidy there talkin’ about...

Caroline Cassidy... I’ll sourt her out. It’s not her is the problem anyway, she’s just one of the smaller details. Carthage Killbride is mine for always or until I say he is no longer mine. I’m the one who choses and discards, not him, and CERTAINLY not any of yees. And I’m not runnin’ with me tail between me legs just because people wants me out of their way!

Hester, he’s gone from ya’ and he’s not comin’ back.

Ah, ya’ think ya’ know everthin’ about me and Carthage. Well, ya’ don’t! There’s things about me and Carthage no wan knows except the two of us.

That’s all in your own head! The man cares nothing for ya’ else why would he go on the way he does?

MY LIFE DOESN’T HANG TOGETHER WITHOUT HIM!

You’re talkin’ riddles now.

Carthage knows what I’m...what I’m talkin’ about. I suppose I may bury old Black Wing before Josie wakes and sees her.

I’ll come up to see ya’ in a while, bring yees up some lunch, help ya’ pack.

They’ll be no packin’ done around here!

What’re ya’ doin’ there?

Ah, go on and lave me alone, Catwoman, I’m in no mood for ya’ today.

Bet ya’ aren’t. I had a dream about ya last night.

Spare me your visions and dreams.

Dreamt ya’ were a train motorin’ through the Bog of Cats and, oh, the scorch off this train and it blastin’ by and all the bog was dark in your wake... Hester Swane, you’ll bring the place down by evenin’.

I know.

Do ya’ now? Then why don’t ya lave? If ya’ lave this place you’ll be alright. That’s what I came by to tell ya’.

Ah, how can I lave the Bog of Cats, everythin’ I’m connected to is here. I’d rather die.

Then die ya’ will.

There’s sympathy for ya’! That’s just what I need to hear.

Ya’ want sugar plum platitudes, go talk to Monica Murray or anyone else around here. You’re my match in witchery, Hester, same as your mother was, it may even be ya’ surpass us both and the way ya’ go on as if God only gave ya’ a little frog of a brain instead of seein’ things as they are, not as they should be, but exactly as they are. Ya’ know what I think?

What?

I been thinkin’ a while now that there’s some fierce wrong ya’
done that’s caught up with ya’...

I done nothin’ – Or if I did never meant to.

There’s a fine answer, a half lie and a half truth.

Everyone has done wrong at wan time or another.

Aye but not everywan knows the price of wrong. You do and it’s the best thing about ya’ and there’s not much in ya’ I’d praise.

Tell me about me mother.

I wouldn’t long for Josie Swane if I was you. Sure the night ya’ were born she took ya’ over to the black swan’s lair, auld Black Wing ya’ve just buried there, and laid ya’ in the nest alongside her. And when I axed her why she’d do a thing like that with snow and ice everywhere, ya’ know what she says? That child, says Josie Swane, will live as long as this black swan, not one day more, not one day less.

You’re makin’ it up to get rid of me.

I’m only tellin’ ya’ so ya’ know what sourt of woman your mother was. Ya’ were lucky she left ya’. Just forget about her and lave this place now or ya’’ never will.

Doesn’t seem to make much difference whether I stay or lave with a curse like that on me head.

There’s ways round curses. Curses only have power if ya’ let allow them. I’m tellin’ ya’, Hester, ya’ have to go. When have I ever been proved wrong? Tould ya’ ya’d have just one daughter, tould ya’ Carthage Kilbride was no good for ya’. That a fact, Hester Swane. Don’t say the Catwoman never tould ya’. Lave this place nor or ya’ never will.

Is there anything them blind eyes doesn’t see writ in a bog hole?

Hester – are ya’ there?

Haven’t you the gall comin’ here, Caroline Cassidy.

Oh! I Can come here whenever I want, this is mine now, sure ya’ signed it over and all.

Bits of paper, writin’, means nothin’, you little ice-pop.

We’re going ahead with the weddin’, me and Carthage, ya’ think ya’ll disrupt everythin’, Hester Swane. I’m not afraid of ya’.

Ya’ should be. I’m afraid of myself – What is it ya’ want from me, Caroline? What have I done on you that ya’ feel the need to take everythin’ from me?

I’m takin nothin’ ya’ haven’t lost already...

You’re takin me husband, you’re takin’ me house, ya’ even want me daughter.

He was never your husband, he only took pity on ya’.

Them the sweet nothin’s he’s been tellin ya’? Let’s get wan thing straight, it was me build Carthage Kilbride up from nothin’. It was me who tould him he could do better. It was my money that bought his first fine acres. It was my bed he slowly turned from a slavish pup to a man and no frigid little Daddy’s girl is goin’ to take him from me. Now get off my property before I cut that dress to ribbons.

I’ll get Daddy. He’ll run you off with a shotgun if he has to.

Not everyone is as afraid of your Daddy as you are, Caroline.

Look, I’ll give ya’ more money if ya’ll only go. It’s me wddin’ day. It’s meant to be happy. It’s meant to be the best day of me life.

What ya’ want me to do, Caroline. Admire your dress? Wish ya’ well? Hah? I used to babysit you. Remember that?

That was a long time ago.

Not that long at all. After your mother died, several nights ya’ came down and slept with me when your Daddy’s be off at the races or the mart or the pup, remember that, do ya? Listen to me now, Caroline, there’s two Hester Swanes, one that is decent and very fond of ya’ despite your callow treatment of me. And the other Hester, well, she could slide a knife down your face, carve ya’ up and not bat an eyelid.

Ow! Lave go!

Listen to me now, Caroline. Carthage Kilbride is mine and only mine. You think ya’ can take him from me? Wrong. All wrong. Now get out of me sight.

Ya’ll be sorry for this, Hester Swane.

We all will.

Well good mornin’, Tinker Swane.

Oh, good mornin’, Mrs. Kilbride, what a lovely surprise, and how are ya’ today?

I’ve been savin’ all night.

Have ya’ now, Mrs. Kilbride.

Tell me, ya Jezebel witch, how much have ya’ in the bank today?

Oh, I’ve three great big goose eggs, Mrs. Kilbride. How much
have ya’ in the bank yourself?

Seventeen million pound. I saved it. I didn’t frig it away on love stories and silk stockins’.

Josie, don’t ever say any of that in front of your Granny, sure ya’ won’t?

I’m not a total eegit, Mam.

Did ya’ have your breakfast?

I had a sugar sammige.

Ya’ better not have.

Granny made me porridge.

Did she? Did ya’ wash your teeth?

Why do I always have to wash my teeth? Every day. It’s so borin’ What do I need teeth for anyway?

Ya’ need them for snarlin’ at people when smilin’ doesn’t work
anymore. G’wan in and wash them now.

Daddy! Daddy says I can go to his weddin’.

I said maybe, Josie.

G’wan round the back and play, Josie.

Can I go, Mam, can I? Say yeah, g’wan, say yeah.

We’ll see, g’wan, Josie, g’wan, good girl.

I’d like to know what ya’ think you’re playin’ at.

Take a better man that you to cancel me out, Carthage Kilbride.

Ya’ haven’t even started packin’.

Them your weddin’ clothes?

They’re not me farm clothes, are they?

Ya’ve a cheek comin’ here in them.

Well, you missus, are meant to be gone.

And ya’ve a nerve tellin’ Josie she can go to your weddin’.

She’s mine as well as yours.

Have ya’ slept with her yet?

That’s none of your business.

Every bit of me business. Ya’ think ya’ can wipe out fourteen years just like that. Well she’s welcome to ya’ and any satisfaction she can squeeze out of ya’.

Never heard ya’ complainin’ when I wasn in your bed.

Ya’ done the job, I suppose, in a kindergarten sort of way.

Kindergarten, that what ya’ call it?

You were nothin’ before I put me stamp on ya’ and ya’ll be nothin’ again I’m finished with ya.

Are you threatenin’ me, Hetty?

It was you wooed me, Carthage Kilbride, not the other way round as ya’d like everywan to think. In the beginnin’ I wanted nothin’ to do with ya’, should’ve trusted me instinct, but ya’ kept comin’ back. You cut your teeth on me, Carthage Kilbride, gnawed and sucked till all that’s left is an auld bone ya’ think ya’ can fling on the dunghill.

\
Don’t lave me. Don’t – tell me what to do, and I’ll do it.
Anything for for you to come back...

Just stop, will ya’...

Anythin’, Carthage, anythin’, and I’ll do it if it’s in me power.

It’s not in your power – Look, I’m up to me neck in another life
that can’t include ya’ anymore.

You’re selling me and Josie down the river for a few lumpy auld acres and notions of respectability. You’re better than all of them. Ya’ll only ever be Xavier Cassidy’s work horse. He won’t treat ya’ right. He wouldn’t know how.

He’s treatin’ me fine, signin’ his farm over to me this evening.

Ya’ know what they’re sayin’ about ya? That you’re a jumped up land hungry mongrel but that Xavier Cassidy is greedier and craftier and he’ll spancel ya’ back to the scrubber ya’ are.

And ya’ know what they’re sayin’ about you? That it’s time ya’ moved onto another haltin’ site.

I was born in the Bog of Cast and on the Bog of Cats I’ll end me days. I’m warnin’ ya’ now, Carthage, you go through with this sham weddin’ and you’ll never see Josie again.

If I have to mow ya’ down or have ya’ declared an unfit mother to see Josie I will, so for your own sake don’t cause any trouble. You can never understand...

Don’t tell me what I can and can’t understand!

Just don’t cross me with Josie or I’ll come down on you like a bull from heaven.

So I’m meant to lie back and let Caroline Cassidy have her way in the rearin’ of me child. If it’s the last thing I do I’ll find a way to keep her from ya’.

I want you out of here before dusk! Here. There’s your blood money. It’s all there.

I don’t want it!

Neither do I. I never should’ve took it in the first place. I owe ya’ nothin’ now, Hester Swane. Nothin’. Ya’ve no hold over me now.

Carthage – ya’ can’t just walk away.

I can and I am – Ya’ know what amazes me, Hetty?

What?

That I stayed with ya’ so long – I want peace, just peace –
Remember, before dusk.

What’s wrong of ya’, Mam?

Ah go ‘way, would ya’, and laev me alone!

Just because you’re in a bad humour it’s not my fault.

You’ll get a clatter if you’re not careful, Josie Swane!

My name is Josie Kilbride.

That’s what I said.

Ya’ didn’t. Ya’ said Josie Swane. I’m not a Swane. I’m a
Kilbride.

I suppose you’re ashamed of me too.

Caroline!

Josie! Stay around back.

Was hopin’ I wouldn’t find ya still here, Swane.

So ya’ came back with your Daddy, Caroline?

You keep a civil tongue, Swane.

G’wan home and do whatever it is ya’ do with your daughter, but keep your sleazy eye off of me and Josie. This is my property and I’ve a right to sit in me own yard without bein’ ogled by the likes of you.

This is no longer your property and well ya know it, ya’ signed it over six months ago, for a fine hefty sum.

\
I wasn’t thinking right then, was bein’ coerced and bullied from all sides, but I’ve regained me pride and it tells me I’m stayin’. Ya’ll get your money back.

Here’s some of it.

I’m not takin’ it. A deal’s a deal.

Take it! Take it!

\
And it might interest ya’ to know, Caroline, that Carthage was just here in his weddin’ clothes and he didn’t look like no radiant groom when he axed me to take him back...

Look, Swane, I don’t car about you. I care only about me own and all I’ve left is Caroline and if I have to plough through you to have the best for her, then that’s what I’ll do. So do it the aisy way for all of us. Lave this place today.

\
This is yours. Come on, Caroline.

\
Ya’ heard what Daddy says. Ya’ don’t know his temper, Hester.

And you don’t know mine.

\
I’d burn down the world if I had enough diesel. Will someone not come and save me from myself?

I think ya know me, Hester.

Joseph Swane, I thought I done away with you. Is it an apology you’re after? Well, I’ve none for ya’. I’d slit your throat again if ya’ stood here in front of me in flesh and bone.

Would ya’? What’re ya’ so angry about?

If it wasn’t for you, me and Carthage’d still be together!

So, it’s my fault ya’ killed me, that what you’re sayin’?

He took your money after we killed ya’ –

To my memory Carthage did nothin’ only look on. I think he was
shocked as I was when ya’ came at me with the fishin’ knife –

He took your money! He helped me throw ya’ overboard! And
now he wants to put it all on me.

Ya’ came at me from behind, didn’t ya’? Wan minute I’m rowin’ and the next I’m a ghost.

If ya’ hadn’t been such an arrogant git I may have left ya’ alone but ya’ just wouldn’t shut up talkin’ about her as if she wasn’t my mother at all. The big smug neck of ya’! It was axin’ to be cut.

I don’t know what you’re on about, Hester, but if it’s any
consolation to ya’, she left me too and our father. Josie Swane
hung around for no wan.

What age were ya’ when she left ya’?

Goin’ on ten.

Goin’ on ten – that’s three year more ya had of her than me – and me all that time waitin’ for her and her all that time molly cuddlin’ you – what was she like, Joseph? Every day I forget more and more till I’m startin’ to think I made her up out of thin air. What was she like?

She was fierce silent – gentle I suppose in her way.

Gentle! She’d a vicious whiskey temer on her and a whiplash
tongue and fists that’d land on ya’ like lightnin’.

She never laid a hand on me – though I remember her fightin’ with me father alright. He wasn’t able for her at all. He’d be sulkin’ around the house and her blowin’ off about somethin’ or other – It wasn’t his fault, Hester, she told him you were dead, that ya’ died at birth, it wasn’t his fault. Ya’ would have liked the old man, but she told him ya’ died, that ya’ were born with your heart all wrong.

Nothin’ wrong with me heart till she set about banjaxin’ it. The
lyin’ tongue of her. And he just believed her.

Didn’t he send me lookin’ for ya in the end, see was there any trace of ya’, told me to split the money with ya’ if I found ya’. Hester, I was goin’ to split the money with ya’. I had it there in the boat. I was goin’ to split it with ya’ when we reached to tshore, ya’ didn’t have to cut me throat for it.

Ya’ think I slit your throat for a few auld pound me father left me?

Then why?

She stole my life from me.

So you stole mine?

So you stole mine?

If ya knew what it was like here ya’d never have done what ya’ done.

Oh, I think I know, Joesph...

I’ll be off, Hester, I didn’t come for a row, I just wanted to
say...hello.

Where are ya’ goin?

Just stravagin’ the shadows.

Look out for me over there.

It’s not wan bit romantic bein’ dead, let me tell ya’.

I never thought it was.

\
Well, it’s dusk now and long after and where are ya’, Mr. Ghost Fancier? I’m here waitin’ for ya’,

Mam! Mam! I’m goin’ on the honeymoon with Daddy and
Caroline!

You’re goin’ no such where.

Ah, Mam, they’re goin’ drivin’ to the sea. I never seen the sea.

It’s just wan big bog hole, Josie, and blue, that’s all, nothin’
remarkable about it.

Well, Daddy says I’m goin’.

Don’t mind your Daddy.

No, I want to go with them. It’s only five days, Mam.

There’s a couple of things you should know about your precious Daddy...

I’m not listenin’ to ya’ givin’ out about him.

That’s right, stand up for him and see how far it’ll get ya’. He swore to me that after you’d been born he’d marry me and now he plans to take ya’ off of me. I suppose ya’d like that, too!

I said I’m not listenin!

You’ll listen to me, Josie Swane, and you listen well! Your perfect Daddy walked away from me. And you’ll walk from me too. All me life people have walked away! Well, I want to tell ya’ somethin’, Josie, if you lave me ya’ll die. It’s a curse I put on ya’ So ya’ have to stay with me, d’ya see, and if your Daddy or anywan else axes ya’ who ya’d prefer to live with, ya’ have to say me.